Stoneham High School - Wildlife Yearbook (Stoneham, MA)

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THE STONEHAM HIGH SCHOOL AUTHENTIC The crabbed examiner glanced over the top of his spectacles. “Are you sure,” he said, “that this is an entirely original composition which you have handed in?” “Yes, sir,” came the answer. “But you may possibly, sir, have come across one or two of the words in the diction- ary.” Aunt Liza’s former mistress was talking to her one morning, when sud- denly she discovered a little pickaniny standing behind his mother’s skirts. “Is this your little boy Aunt Liza?” she asked. “Yes, miss, dat’s Prescription.” “Goodness, what a funny name, Auntie, for a child! How in the world did you happen to call him that?” “Ah simply calls him dat becauz Ah hdz sech hard vork gettin him filled.” Jim: “Teacher, Skinny’s cheating.” Teacher: “How, James?” Jim: “Well, in this physiology ques- tion of how many vertebrae we have he’s trying to count his.” COMPLIMENTS OF Sidney A. Hill Where you are assured of reliable mer- chandise at reasonable prices Would be pleased to quote rates on all kinds of INSURANCE We wish to thank the patrons, advertisers and all who aided in the editing of this year’s Authentic, especially the Senior Class for their permission of sales at the Senior Play and Graduation. COMPLIMENTS OF Geo. W. Reynolds’ Son If you want to Buy or Sell Real Estate see Arthur J. Smith Real Estate and Insurance 19 Central St., Stoneham Phones: Office 650-R, Residence 650-W The Gloucester Fish Market 427 Main Street Where You Get Fresh Fish COMPLIMENTS OF Dr. James Blenkhorn Stoneham Bakery P. A. Meister H. B. Flume Groceries Corner Summer and Franklin Sts. A. P. Rounds Builder Wills’ Bldg. Tel. Stoneham 680-R COMPLIMENTS OF Daniels Price Dry Goods 23

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THE STONEHAM HIGH SCHOOL AUTHENTIC The supply sergeant had just issued the last assortment of shoes to the col- ored outfit. There were plenty of kicks, but the loudest and most pro- longed came from Private Indigo Snow who, failing to receive satisfaction else- where, betook himself to the captain. “Cap’n, suh,” he announced, “mah shoes am too big fo’ me.” “You’ll have to make the best of it,” answered the captain. “Penty of men have shoes that don’t quite fit.” “Don’ quite fit!” ejaculated Indigo. “If yo’ says ’tenshun, cap’n, All comes to ’tenshun. Den if yo’ says to right about face Ah right about faces, but mah shoes stays at ’tenshun. Don’ quite fit? Huh!” It is said that most of Tokio’s crim- inals belong to the intellectual classes. When in Tokio, therefore, beware of the stranger who begins to quote poetry and Homer to you. The story is told that one of the ex- aminers in a certain school was ac- costed by the athletic coach. “If you please, sir,” he began, “there are two splendid fellows on the hockey team — ” “Now stop,” said the professor se- verely; “if you want to ask me to pass these boys who have flunked their ex- aminations just because they are good athletes, I refuse absolutey. There’s been — ” “No, sir, no, sir,” hurriedly inter- rupted the coach. “It’s just the other way. They’re such brilliant students that I wanted to beg you to make them flunk, so that we could keep them for another year.” The attorney for the gas company was making a popular address. “Think of the good the gas company has done!” he cried. “If I were permit- ted a pun, I would say in the words of the immortal poet, ‘Honor the Light Bri- gade’.” Voice of a consumer from the audi- ence. — “Oh, what a charge they made!” A pompous member of a traveling theatrical company was strutting up and down the station platform. A red- faced and perspiring man rushed up to him, clutched his arm, and asked, “Is this the Reading train?” The other removed his arm from the stranger’s grasp, and replied, frigidly, “My dear sir, I am not the station- master.” “Oh, aren’t you?” spluttered the hot j and hurried one. “Well, what the deuce : do you mean by strutting about as , though you were?” The mother had taken her daughter on a visit to a wealthy maiden aunt, from whom she had expectations. The old lady produced a number of photo- graphs of herself as a young woman, and showed them to her niece. “Oh, mother!” exclaimed the girl, art- lessly, “auntie looks quite pretty in | these photographs.” “Haven’t I always said she used to be, ! but you would never believe me,” said l her agitated mother. John was getting nervous as the doe- ! tor prepared to administer the anes- thetic. “Will it make me sick?” he asked. “Not a bit,” said the doctor, reassur- ingly. “How long will it be before I know anything?” he queried, as the mask was adjusted. “You’re asking a good deal of the ether,” was the doctor’s reply. A fond father discovered his son j reading a dime novel. “Unhand me, villain,” the detected I bov cried, “or there will be blood shed.” “No,” said the father grimly, tight- ening his hold on the boy’s collar, “not ; bloodshed, woodshed.” Teacher : “Where is your penwiper, Peter?” Peter: “I don’t know! I never use it j since I got my black suit.” Read “DESERT GOLD” in the Stoneham Free Press Get it from your news boy for three cents 22

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THE STONEHAM HIGH SCHOOL AUTHENTIC COMPLIMENTS OF Reading Greenhouses and Nurseries Floral and Nursery Products COMPLIMENTS OF Stoneham Trust Company T. J. Munn Son Milk and Cream Tel. Con. Melrose Hlds. COMPLIMENTS OF Dr. Doris Nutter Dow Block COMPLIMENTS OF COMPLIMENTS OF Dr. G. W. Nickerson A Friend COMPLIMENTS OF COMPLIMENTS OF Dr. M. D. Sheehan Dr. J. H. Kerrigan 24