Stoneham High School - Wildlife Yearbook (Stoneham, MA)

Page 10 text:

6 THE AUTHENTIC. FINNEGAN selling shoestrings on the installment plan, with pink stamps on Tuesdays. The ne.xt scene took me to one of the snl)nrhs of New York. Far in the distance an automobile was approaching. As it drew nearer I conld see white ribbons flying everywhere and old shoes dangling on behind. wedding, sure enough,” thought I. “I wonder who it is?” Well, if I am not greatly mistaken, as one is liable to be at such a rapid glance, there in the back seat was M.VRY STEVENS and,— THOMAS McFAIlTLAND. With J.VNE LEWIS for chatleur, as they wheeled out of sight I wondered how the .Judge came to give his consent. And now I seemed to have dropped down into some educational estaldishment. A sleepy looking set of men were evidently supposed to be listening to the learned professor, who, though now with white hair, was DIOGENES ARISTOIMIENES ALCIBIADES GRANT, D. D., L. L. D., ,T. C. 1). The only person who was wide awake was a re- porter seated at a table, PE.VRL VIN ' I ' ON. But the most familiar scene that the .Tap showed me was in onr old High School, somewhat the worse for wear and somewhat battered. 1 saw in the office, where we have been in the habit of ■seeing Mr. Emerson seated, EDWARD BRADY, “(’hick” was bald headed, with spectacles on his nose. Can you imagine “Chick” rushing a fresh- man to the door and tell him not to come back until he had seen the committee? As the dill’erent rooms came into view, who should we find washing dishes in the lunch room but MABEL BANKS WILSON, the very girl we had supposed would astonish the world in Grand Opera. Evidently she became so attached to the teachers during her High School course that she never could leave them . In the gymnasium, (a much needed addition presented to the town l)y the Class of ’0.5) I saw VIOLET DEL.VNO giving a lesson in physical culture, instructing the young ladies how, by phy- sical means if necessary, to have a ready command of. and how to handle unruly husbands. From appearances, her training in the play had helped her greatly, and may she have great success in this new vocation. By various signs it appeared that Domestic Science was the principal thing now taught. (I couldn’t help thinking how much better tliis was than French and German, for in this case the girls would l)e likely to do all the studying.) This de- partment was in charge of .lULI.V DI.MOCK, who, by diagrams on the board I saw was giving a lesson on the maloderous subject of sewerage. Lying upon a desk I noticed a huge volume upon “The Life and Times of Russell Ervin,” a second Andrew Carnegie who, instead of founding libraries, founded asylums for spavined athletes. The author’s name looked quite familiar, being LOTTIE PARKER HUTCHINS’ scientific mind must have taken a queer turn, for the next scene showed him running a macaroni factory on the side of Mt. Vesuvius. Not seeing any boilers around I tried to see how he got all his hot air. Well, I found that it was com- ing out of immense pipes that went into the side of the mountain. “Hutch” was prol)ably still on the hunt for a girl when his money ran short and this is where he happened to settle. He probably wasn’t very lonesome, for I no- ticed BERTHA HINCHCLIFFE and DANIEL POORE i)asting labels on “Hutch’s” macaroni boxes. Dan’s tongue looked as bu.sy as ever, but just now, instead of relating that little experience with the C C. C , he was lapping labels. From sunny Italy to icy Greenland was a cinch for this machine, for I was now looking at a great field of snow. Far in the distance I could see three men sitting in the shade of a pole, evidently the North Pole, fauiiing themselves and eating ice cream. From pictures in magazines I knew that one of these men was Lieutenant Peary, and the others, well, they were a little more familiar, as they were CHAREIE NEWHALL and CARL SY- MONDS. “Nul)y” had probaf)ly got frozen out some nice line evening and had taken Carl along with him to pacify him in Ids moments of grief. Things began to melt and soon I was in the Bowery, New York. Coming along the street I noticed a nice, large, plump girl with a basket over her arm. I saw that she was selling hair firushes, which reminded me of a little incident in the life of one of my classmates who, I believe on one occasion got all she wanted of a hair brush, and perhaps a little more too — and lo, this was Sue ROLLINS herself, who was now peddling brushes for a living. A click of the machine and I thought I was in Patch’s laboratory, for it resembled that establish- ment greatly, but a big signboard soon put me wise. This is how it read : — “Ai.r. Sours oi’T.viN i icn Monky Fitmig.m kd Hkuk.” ,I()U D. Rockkfku.ki!, Founder. Tiiom. s Russki.l Svmmks, Pres. Eihki. .losKPinxi? DnuKKU, Sec. They probably started in this business with the money presented them in the play, but Ethel’s n.ame is still DURFEE, as we see by the sign.

Page 9 text:

THE AUTHENTIC. 5 various views were presented to me, I may say it was like tlie kinetescope views only much more distant and not always moving. I made a note of the views that I saw wh ich I will endeavor to give you. After getting my eyes adjusted to the machine I found that I was in a strange place and by var- ious signs as I seemed to he passing through the street I knew that it must be tliat I was in the Philippines, and this was no other than the scene of Dewey’s victory, Manila. The city was in gala attire, some great event evidently was about to take place. I seemed to move with the throng until I came to a magnificent building and I seemed to enter. It was only too plain that this was the inauguration of a governor. I waited and I hardly could believe my eyes that the person on whom all eyes rested, the governor, was no other than my classmate, LESTER TARBETT, a man of magnifi- cent and portly bearing. It was evident that his popularity, as well as his size, was immense. I followed the throng and later found myself at, what in Washington would be called the Inaug- ural Ball, and there to my amazement I found the master of ceremonies and the centre of an admiring throng of women was — would you believe it? — ERXEST PATCH. His swallow-tail and white kid gloves were something which we had never seen him sporting, but in those, as well as with the bevy of ladies, he was very much at home. .Just as we seemed to be leaving this foreign city a sign board caught my eye. It was the familiar barber’s pole and an equally familiar name, GEORGE RUSSELL MAXN. Could it be so? I stood for a minute wondering if it could be my old friend, when I saw a little child in front of the door crying, and sure enough it was “Turk” who came and picked up the little urchin and quenched his tears with kisses. As this scene vanished I could see in the dis- tance a large field. .Vs the view became more dis- tinct I could see tents and various wagons indicat- ing that a circus was there. Through an open tent flap I saw the cages of the menagerie In a distant corner was a crowd of people following a guide. As I looked they stopped before a cage containing some animal, but as 1 looked closer I noticed this placard ; — “Wild Max, C.uiOHT IX TiiK .Tuxolks OK riiK Mi-yriiOPOLriAX Pauk Sysi ' km ok Eastkux Mass.” Well, this was getting interesting and quite near home, so I fixed my eyes more intently upon this cage When the wild man lifted his head I saw, — well you know “Bob” CONNORS as well as I do, — and there he was as large as life. The manager of this show was Mme. Dudevont in name, but in reality was BERTH.V GERTRUDE WALKER. Recovering from this lively scene I found my- self in the midst of a crowded city. This I recog- nized immediately as Boston, for there was the Common and the Subway Station. A Salvation .Vrmy lass was busily talking with some dirty-faced Italian newsboys, and something about the girl attracted my attention. I nearly fainted and had to call for water for there was: — well, I always expected FR.VNCES would do better than that But what I saw next was pretty near the limit There out in the middle of the street was “Hick” MELLETT sweeping up garbage. He must have worked out in the rain quite a lot for his hair was pretty rusty. We always expected great things from H.VRRY in the musical line, as he was con- sidered, by himself, authority on anything musical, hut here he was wielding a broom instead of a baton. As this scene vanished there gradually came into view what I took to be Broadway, — Saugus .V fifteen or twenty story building loomed up before me, wholly occupied by the firm of HINCHCLIFFE , McGovern. This I knew from the immense signs blazing from every story. .V retail store equal in size to a half dozen of .Iordan, Marsh Co’s I saw no doors. I seemed to advance with the crowd. Among the many strangers I recog- nized one, a hustling, rustling, bustling woman, here, there, everywhere and back again in an in- stant: — yes it was our classmate FLOR.V . NNIE THtHlNTON. “Well ten years works wonders in the 20tii Century,” thought I. I now saw that it was bargain day. A placard ; “Great Assortment of Babies in Basement,” attracted my attention. Moving in that direction, at my left in the Ribbon department was “Mid” GREEN. Here she was fairly buried under an avalanche of her favorite red and yellow ribbons. But to the basement Babies? I should say. It was the greatest sale you ever saw. Cradles? No Incubators by the hundreds. “BLONDES” at one counter “BRU- NETTES” at another Black and white, and all the scrambling, pulling and pushing that one sees on bargain day now. Flere was a card; — “$3.10 and Carriage Thrown in ” Farther on prices ran down to “Three for a Quarter,” evidently a shop- worn lot. This flourishing department was in charge of ALONZO P.VRKS. One more familiar face in this establishment It was that of ST.VCEY

Page 11 text:

THE AUTHENTIC. 7 Again the little instrument took me to Stone- ham and to the Enterprise Office, wliicli liadn’t clianged at all in ten years. Here was HOUSTON setting type, looking full forty years older than to- day, trying to win bread no doubt for Editor Lewis’ seventeen children, as I saw by actual count. We always thought that Sid PATCHETT was going to be some great mechanical engineer, at least he thought so, as he is always blowing about that automobile he is to make, but what 1 now saw changed my mind completely, for here he was in a seven by nine room, apparently in Germany, mak- ing the toy known as Jack-in-the-Box. I watched him for some time and as he tinished each one and tried it, pushing the wire that held the cover down, as Jack bobbed up Sid’s smile was something remarkable. And those of us tliat know that laugh can imagine what followed. And now with a sliglit explosive noise and a click or two, the little Japanese machine stopped I could hardly believe my senses that I was in Bos- ton and that it was 1J05. I must have looked queer, for my Japanese operator was laughing. I had seen so much and so thoroughly believed these prophetic visions that I offered him my last cent, willing to walk back to Stoneham, but he would only take his regular fee and I left him with the assurance that I hoped tlie Japs would whip the Russians, and when peace was declared, to cele- brate the event, the Class of 1905, Stoneham High School would hold a reunion on the schoolhouse steps, each with a tremendous horn and that ; — “Such a toot as they would blow. Would sure be heard in Tokio.” Roy . . Ho ' HY, ’05. CLASS HISTORY. j “Lulled in the countless chambers of the brain. Our thoughts are linked by many a hidden chain. Awake but one, and lo! what myriads rise! Each stamps its image as the other Hies.” T he difficulty in writing this history has not been in the invention of material, but in the rejection of it. If I should not follow strictly to the chronological order of events, attribute it to the interest of the theme rather than to any fault of mine. There is much to be said, but time forbids me to speak of the various incidents which crowd the recollection, and I trust that no individual will consider his own peculiar circumstances overlooked in the general nature of my remarks. We are sorry it is all over : everyone is sorry to say goodbye, to say goodbye to our schooldays. And it has all seemed so short — as short as the few sad — yes, they are sad! — moments before this merry play has closed. Why, it was only a week ago — in feeling — since we were verdant Freshmen. Just a week ago in feeling, in reality four years. Four years out of our life ; four years between fourteen and eighteen ; the best four years that we may ever know — and they have gone ! How royally we have spent them, like millionaires of time, in song and play and happiness, and just enough study to keep ns salted ! Well ! we will go and the halls will know us no more; but we will always be a part of onr school and onr school will always be a pai’t of us. We shall never forget. Still we are sorry, very sorry ! The ancient records show that we began onr course in what is now the Dean School under one of the best and dearest teachers we have yet had — Miss Hadley. We were at once instructed by Mr. Emerson to be careful in the use of the paper, that we were not to throw paper away unless it were written on both sides. The next day Mr. Emerson came before the class and announced that in spite of his admonitions he had found three sheets of paper in the waste basket but little used. On two of the sheets was the name of Russell Symmes, and on the other was Roy Hovey. Result : Symmes and Hovey in disfavor. The records do not show much activity during the Freshman year, though we carried off nearly all the honors on the athletic field. The first year was one of instruction and initi- ation. Various advices were offered by Mr Emer- son, but even thougli the remarks were of a general nature, yet there are reasons to believe that they were of a particular application Why did Mr. Emerson look over the heads of the rest of ns at onr lusty friend Mr. Hovey and say, “Avoid argu- ments with girls. In spinning yarns among silks and satins aman is sure to be worsted and twisted. Then when he is worsted and twisted he is sure to be wound up.” Though banded by a bond of common brother- hood, we have our particular friends. The remem- bered joys of onr Sophomore year are never past ; they are ever present. It was during the early part of this year that the famous “Wire Gang” was formed with Mr. H. II. Drown, gentleman, as president. On Hallf)ween niglit the class held its first so-