Stewartville High School - Tiger Spirit Yearbook (Stewartville, MN)

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vention. They said their worm ranch is flourishing under the patronage of Duane Hart and Leland Appel, who are planning to catch a king-sized mermaid. And now for a report on the Hollywood society. Vern Billings, who succeeded John Barrymore as the motion picture screen's greatest lover, threw a very large party last Saturday celebrating the completion of his latest picture, The Case of the Corn-Fed Cow, in which he co-starred with De Anna Blessing. Working as body guards for the stars were Curtis Nickel and Bob Crane. Madames Sue Bratrud and Joan Aswegan couldn't come. They were relaxing in their plush penthouses after a very tiring trip around the world with their millionaire husbands. Their butlers, Gerald Engel and Maynard Howe were also thoroughly exhausted after a hard day of counting their employers' money. The arrival of Norb Mills, most eligible bachelor in the world, stopped the party. It resumed as soon as the women guests came out of their swoon. A. G. Wilson,who has had his initials in international headlines for the past few weeks, after breaking the sound barrier on a motorcycle, brought his partner, Alice King, to the party on his vehicle. She grumbled something about windy motorcycle seats. Gordon Kuiper and Alvin Wendt were there. They've gone in- to the sugar business and are raising cane. That's what they were doing at the party, anyway. While at the party, we received the astonishing news that George Gobel has resigned. Jack Roeder and his un- predictable wit has replaced him with his own show, ROEDER'S RIOT. Skipping over to the sports news of the world, you remember John Jordan? Well, he's bleached and dyed his long curly hair and is known as the second Gorgeous George. He meets tonight with that famed ferocious Djrby Piens, who has shaved his head and grown a beard. Don Born, who likes to live danger- ously, will referee the match. Way down south of the border, Ronnie Wibben has won first prize at the bull fights in Mexico City. According to the latest radio reports, Marvin Haack, who joined Admiral Byrd at Antarctica, is living off the gold he discovered. Harold Kidd, who coaches at the University of Minnesota, promises a very good season this year, because his sister, Carol Kidd, is personally sewing the pigskins. And now here are your national-international headlines. Socialistic president of the United States, Joan Bremseth, tiring of all the farmer's complaints, has announced that she is going to liquidate them all. Vice-president Jim Ballinger, Secretary of the Inferior Dick Francis, and Secretary of a deficit treasury Marge Glover stand behind her decision. As you all know, Bill Koch is running for dog catcher this year. His slogan is, Don't be silly, bark for Billy! Jumpingto the literary side of life,there were quite a few representatives of fine art attending a con- cert at Carnegie Hall last Saturday. Among them were Pat Carr and Eleanor Evans, leaders of the famed Carevan Orchestra, who have been leading to fame such unknowns asLiberace and Julis La Rosa. Pat Lee, well known composer, is also with the Carevan Orchestra. She is finishing Schubert's Unfinished Sym- phony, and has found the Lost Chord. Wayne Billings was attending the concert. As you all know, he astonished the world with his undecipherable book, EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPHICS. He found it well adapted to his handwriting. Marge Risser was unable to attend the concert because she is proprieting a music shop in Leipsic, Germany. While at the concert I ran into Gary Thompson and Dale Himmer. They've just been awarded the Silver Paintbrush for outstanding work in the field of modern art. There's been some rumors, however, that they paint with their toes. On the domestic scene, Lola Seehusen and La Donna Noble are raising families cheaper by the dozen. Betty Lange lives right next door, and lends them safety pins. Ardis July is now running a day nursery in the large Metropolis of Racine. She employs Ethel Sanderson as her game moderator. Our last news of the evening comes all the way from across the ocean. Gary Kuehntopp and Melvin Mullenbach are now buglers in the French Foreign Legion. Melvin joined to get away from the hated name of Mullenbotch, and Gary, to escape the Minnesota mosquitos. Well, that seems to be all the news for tonight, so I'll sign off. No, wait, we've just received a news flash. Chuck Paulsen has just invented a new gas machine which fills the cars with gas. Stanley Alcott plans to relax inside his own station while Chuck's machine fills the cars and collects the money. Another news flash just came in. Helen Bushman has just had another set of twins. This makes her third pair in two years! This is Hedda Hopper signing off. 20

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I. Gary Kuehntopp, will my southern friend to the wolves in Spring Valley. I, Gordon Kuiper, will my dependability to the weatherman. I. Betty Lange, leave a big sigh of relief. I, Pat Lee, will my book entitled Half There to the sophomore class. 1, Pete Lee, will my ability to sleepin the assembly to Larry Risser. I, Phyllis Louks, will my deep voice to Hillmar Bittner. 1, Jim Meredith, will my long legs to Palma Lenn. 1, Norb Mills, will my favorite parking spot to Rose Greene. I, Melvin Mullenbach, leave my poverty to Mr. Hillesland. I, Joanne Mulvihill, leave my height to Nancy Long Sam Bratrud. I, Otis Nelson, leave my attitude toward English to Paul Schaefer. 1, Curt Nickel, will my ability to give the wrong answer in social problems and prove it right to Pete Streiff. I, Lola Seehusen, will my quiet ways to Jimmy Jestus. I, Dorothy Smalley, will my interest in Poster and Eggers to Mary Jane Long. I, LaDonna Noble, will my long fingers to Liberace. 1, Chuck Paulsen, leave my book How to Make Love to Carol Schartz. 1, Darby Piens, will my masculine physique to Ralph Zierath. 1, Don Quandt, will my secret ambition to become a second Tom Mix to Harlan Renken. 1, Marge Risser, will my alto voice to Judy Jestus. I, Jack Roeder, will my wise cracks to Ralph Ballinger. 1, Ardith Rogers, will my naturally curly hair to Mr. Robinson. I, Ethel Sanderson, will my blush to the Hinkle twins. 1, Jane Swygman, will my long blonde hair to Jim Byrne. 1, Gary Thompson, will my ability to argue farm prices to Ardis Boyum. I, Brenda Travis, will my ability to make myself heard at games to all S. H. S. rooters. I, Alvin Wendt, am “gone . 1, Ronnie Wibben, will my boots and saddle to Judy Travis. I, A. G. Wilson, will my report card to anyone who wants to play checkers. CLASS PROPHECY Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Hedda Hopper coming to you with the very latest news about our nation's celebrities. You’ll find that this week's news comes from the 1956 class of Stewart- ville, which graduated 15 years ago. While attending a businessmen's commercial convention the other day.l met Cathy Boucsein.a private secretary toGary Boyum,a big business tycoon. She likes her position since she has 6 months paid vacation twice a year. 1 also spoke to Ardith Rogers and Connie Edgar, who are both in the beautician business. When your hair turns silver, they'll turn it black again. Dorothy Smalley was unable to attend the convention. She's busy at the clinic filling prescriptions for Dr. Paul Edward Johnathon Jay Engel, M. D. While I was there, 1 had the pleasure of speaking with Phyllis Louks. While contentedly chewing her gum, she announced that she was president of the Wriggley Company. Nancy Briese was there carrying a notebook under her arm and a pencil behind her ear. She's secretary to Don Quandt, who's president of General Motors, you know. Over in a corner was Norb Brandt, chuck- ling over the latest issue of the super-duper colossal comic books he publishes. Dick Hanson and Jim Meredith, notorious leaders of the I. W. W. (I Won't Work) union were there carrying on a heated con- versation with Otis Nelson and Pat Delesha, the progressive leaders of the Y. W. W. (You Will Work) union. The most surprising guest of the evening was Pete Lee, one of the more efficient farmers of the Stewartville area. He is also managing an unemployment bureau in Alaska. The icebergs are being in- habited rapidly. The most unusual dress of the convention was on Brenda Travis, owner of the nationally known all-girl ranch. Retelling the action on her ranch,she painted a picture of foreman, Eileen Ander- son, sitting on a rail fence watching Jane Swygman hog tie a brama steer, while Joanne Mulvihill heats the branding iron to prepare for action. Speaking of ranches, Mary and Marlene Denny were at the con- 19

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SENIOR BESTS MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED Paul Engel and Joan Bremseth NEATEST Nancy Briese and Chuck Paulsen BEST LEADERS Jim Ballinger and Marge Glover PRETTIEST HAIR Ardith Rogers and Connie Edgar MOST TALENTED Vern Billings and Pat Carr BEST AL1BIERS Darby Piens and DeAnna Blessing MOST MISCHEIVOUS Pat Lee and Gary Kuehntopp CUTEST COUPLE Vern Billings and Joan Aswegan PEPPIEST Eileen Anderson and Jack Roeder CUTEST SMILE Pat Delesha and Sue Bratrud 21