Stewartville High School - Tiger Spirit Yearbook (Stewartville, MN)

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(TV$ 0 THE TIMES OF ‘ 3 5 to his shop. As I explored Alaska, I stopped one day at a Fur Trading Station. Very much to my surpiise, Kenneth Schield was successfully selling refrigerators to the Eskimos. My next stop took me to southern Alaska to see a large fish hatchery that I heard LaVonne Eggers was running. While going through the hatchery she told me that she was the one who thought of the plan of heating the river so the fish could be cooked in a shorter length of time. Carmen Struve is the happy owner of a gold cup which was awarded to the winner of the hundred yard dash in the Olympic contest held at Alaska this year. Marion Sackett astonished the world and made herself many friends among housewives when she recently discovered that by placing a row of popcorn along one side cf a pancake she could get a self-turning pancake. I saw her demonstrate her process in Canada. Hose Mary Monette, I understand, wo.3 last seen when she obtained her position as stewardess on the airship between the cities of Racine and Stewartville. I decided to stop at Reno to see a new court which had been established and was completely surprised to find the judge to be Jean Burrington. She is extremely in- terested and most efficient. She is now compiling a new set cf divorce laws which she claims will be better liked by the women, and more just to the men. While at the bank this morning, Lucille Wood was seen depositing a check for two million dollars. When asked about it, she said, “Humph, that’s merely my month- ly interest from the West Indies. Haven’t you heard about my new type of date plant? Why, I produce dates from calendar leaves.” JOKES Joyce Geer: “Did you cut your hair?” Vailey Peterson: “No, I washed it and it shrank.” Mr. Sutherland in Social Science: “The outlines are ready for the feeble- minded.” Silent toast at a school banquet: “Here’s to our parents and teachers, may they never meet !” Elmer Reich: “Miss Eidnes, I’m stuck on that question.” Miss Eidnes: “I’m glad you like it.” When better English students are made, Miss Tuohy will make them. (With apologies to the Buick Motor Company). Miss Tuohy: “What did Juliet say when she met Romeo on the balcony?” Ruth Bentley: ‘Couldn’t you get seats in the orchestra.?” Mr. Sutherland: “It gives me great pleasure to give you a mark of 91.” Mildred Betcher: “Make it a 100 and have a really good time.” Audrie Greene: “Social Science is aw- fully dry, isn’t it?” Irene Struve: “Not now. We’re studying the liquor problem.” Mr. Jorgensen: “Will all those who are going to take the test please sit in these two aisles?” Francis Squires: “I’d rather sit in a seat, if you don’t mind.” Flunk and the class flunks with you; dig and you dig alone. A high school graduate is a person who could have had an education. Ever since Derwood Howe started put- ting grease on his hair, everything slips his mind. Marie Ol3on tells us that :he new way for removing red ink stain3 is to get above 75. Miss Tuohy: Do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Belva Haas: “I didn’t even know hi lived there.” Allene Henke: “What are the prin ciple parts of the verb to hang?” Adeline Myhre: “A rope, a knot, and a neck.” Chemistry assignment: “Today we will take chlorine, and Tuesday arsenic and mercury.” Margaret Kelly: “What’s Miss Eidnes trying to do, kill us off?” Donald Haas: “Haven’t I seen your face somewhere?” Helen Oftedahl: “I shouldn’t be sur- prised. I seldom go anywhere without it.” Miss Tuohy: 'Did you learn Gray’s ’Elegy in a Country Churchyard’ as I assigned ?” James Bleifuss: “No, the cemetery is three miles from cur house.”

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I THE TIMES OF 3 5 was a white woman. Afterwards I inquired about her history, and found out she was Marion Reese. She had been left in Siam by a group of Chinese pirates and had no desire to return to America. The next country I visited was India and while exploring the jungles one day, I heard a group of monkeys chattering away. Upon going closer, I saw a woman painting and went to speak to her, and whom should I see but Helen Priebe. She told me she had now’ reached the height of her ambition—painting monkeys. While in China, I started sailing up the Yangtze River, when I was suddenly attacked and overwhelmed by pirates. After I had been tied securely, I heard a pirate mention the name Baiiard, and I wondered if it could be my old schoolmate Vernon. I askeu to see the leader and sure enough it was Vernon. To show he still wfas good way down deep in his heart, he turned me loose and let me continue on my way. I lett China and decided to visit Greece. While driving along a beautiful country road, I suddenly came upon a large flock of Turkeys. As I always have had a weak- ness for Turkeys, I stopped to ask for one, and, to my surprise, I saw that the owner was Uleanore Luehmann. While talking to Eleanore, she asked me if I remembered Agnes Halloran and I assured her I dia. She informed me that Agnes was living in the next town, and was a great scientist. When I arrived at the town, I slopped to see her. Agnes told me that sne had been working upon a toothless toothpaste for years, and had just invented it and hoped to sell it for a high price. 1 was greatly amused upon my arrival in Italy to find Norbert Sullivan working hard in h»s macaroni factory. He produced macaroni that is longer and far better liked by the Italians than even spaghetti. My next stop was at Madrid, Spain. Here I found Margaret Kelly, proprietress and only instructor in a school for deaf and dumb. I spent a most enjoyable day visiting her school. Mary Kelly has started a new millinery shop in France. It is reported that she has a speciality cn horse's hats and is now perfecting one that will stay on a mule no matter how much his ears move. Switzerland and its snow capped mountains was finally reached. First, I Wit- nessed ice skating contests, and then ski jumping. The winner that day was a very snort, attractive oionde. ‘we used to know her as Ruth Bentley, but according to the program, I believe she must have assumed a somewhat more Norwegian-like name. 1 iett Switzerland deciding that the world was not so very big after all. My next slop was Benin, Germany. When I arrived, everyone seemed very much excited. I inquired what it was all about and a man pointed to a woman and said, It is she.” I saw a woman riding a iarge white horse and when she came closer, I recognized Rita Towey. Later I had a long chat with her, and she informed me that Hitler had just been overthrown and she was taking his place. When I informed Rita that I was making a trip around the world, sne insisted upon giving me a free ride to my next stop in her airplane. As we landed in Oslo, Norway, we caught a glimpse of Wayne Limbert’s Cheese Factory. His limburger cheese is odorless, better ventilated, and more tasteful. In addition to being manager of the factory, Wayne devotes much of his time preparing sermons, and calling upon his congregation, for he is a minister. 1 attended the World's Fair today in Sweden. I was completely surprised to see Phyllis Pratt as the Fattest Lady of the Land. She now weighs approximately six hundred and one pounds, fifteen and ninety-nine hundredths ounces. Upon coming to England someone stole my upper plate of false teeth, so I went immediately to Scotland Yard to the Chief of Police. I found her to be Dorothy Everts. She explained that the reason for her high position was due to her cleverness in find- ing the owner of the class ring of 1931 that she was still wearing in 1935. It only look her seven more years to find him. I had a most amusing time with James Bleifuss. He is a promoter in England. The English decided that they had been the subject of too many jokes, so they employ- ed James to teach them the art of seeing the humor in jokes. He is very successful in his new position. In fact, Uie Englishmen are beginning to laugh before he finishes his jokes. While sitting in the station waiting for my train, I read a most astonishing article in the paper. According to it, Herbert Hathaway has become a renowned style de- signer for movie stars. I saw Elmer Olson, one of the most prominent young men in the class of '35, when I reached Greenland. I don't remember the name of the town but it is about as large as Racine. His chief occupation was that of a Beauty Operator. He certainly has made himself famous, because I was told tht girls for miles and miles around come This page is sponsored by A. W. GRONERT—SHELL OIL STATION (TVW)

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THE TIMES OF ’35 (L 7 C CLASS WILL rrhis is our last will and testament. We give, bequeath, and devise to those hereinafter mentioned in complete and perfect ownership of all our rights and prop- erty of every kind and nature, whether real, personal, or mixed, wherever situated or by whomever now possessed, and we do hereby appoint, Allene Henke and Lila Schroeder as executors of our estate without bond and giving to them seisin thereof. Vernon Ballard leaves the excuse of having engine trouble and, therefore, being late to school to Lorrls Kuehntopp and with it the hope that he will not have to wait as long for help. Verna Bom and LaVonne Eggers leave their coveted positions are prize whisper- ers to Ellen Hud and Annie Peterson. Jean Burrington hands over her position on the Comic Commentator to Frances Braksiek. Kuth Bentley leaves her stature to Eleanor Kuisle and with it the consolation that all good things come in small packages. Dorothy Everts relinquishes her mysterious, unbeknown trips to Rochester and Racine to Anita Lenton. The comfortable, coveted front seat Helen Priebe leaves for Leroy Kramer be- lieving it to be more suitable for a study hour nap. Rose Mary Monette passes on the privelege of collecting attendance slips to Norbert Towey as another good excuse to get out of the assembly. Eleanore Luehmann leaves her versatility at playing instruments to Earl Bratrud to appease his desire with reference to “Over the Waves.” Agnes Halloran donates her rapidity of speech to Bertha Balcom. With much hesitation Rita Towey wills her melodious voice to Elmer Reich. Ii'ene Struve leaves her ability to walk home after being stuck in snow drifts to Belva Haas. Kenneth Schield and Harold Dean relinquish to Derwood Howe and Glenn Sulli- van all tneir quietness, their demureness, their prudence and discretion, their silence and their tenacity, in the hope that it will help them in the assembly. As a sure hit, Richard Runkle gives the glue that didn’t stick, to Gordon Sulli- van to be used to fasten beards in class plays. Harold Dean volunteers his service for playing the Wedding March whenever Laura Kendall wants it. Charles Lamp leaves hio ability to wiggle his ears and his forehead at the same time to Phyllis Meschke. James Bleifuss and Homer Wooldridge give to any Junior the privilege of ring- ing the tire alarm after a class play practice or a football game, providing he is speedy enough to make his disappearance without being caught. Mary Kelly wills her position as cheer leader to Walter Koebke. Marie Gathje gives her line of chatter to Leroy Kramer to be used in football next year. Maxine Crowley bequeaths her record of tardiness to Belva Haas so she may enjoy those morning beauty sleeps. Mary Dixon wills her position on the debate team to Arlene Mundstock. Phyllis Pratt leaves her ability to give book reports to Marjorie Eppard and hopes she doesn’t have the hero and heroine raising wild horses. Violet Farley relinquishes her tap dancing ability to Raymond Rhoten. Margaret O’Connell leaves her snappy short program to Donald Kuehntopp Elmer Olson gives his uncanny ability to meet a certain someone between classes to Audrie Greene if she can successfully discover how to do it. Herbert Hathaway bequeaths his story telling ability to John Logan. John will have to be pretty good to catch wild lions in the Rockies as Herbert does. Wayne Limbert leaves his ability to ask questions to Howard Schield. Marion Sackett wills her wavy locks to Earl Bratrud.