Stewartville High School - Tiger Spirit Yearbook (Stewartville, MN)

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I THE TIMES OF 3 5 was a white woman. Afterwards I inquired about her history, and found out she was Marion Reese. She had been left in Siam by a group of Chinese pirates and had no desire to return to America. The next country I visited was India and while exploring the jungles one day, I heard a group of monkeys chattering away. Upon going closer, I saw a woman painting and went to speak to her, and whom should I see but Helen Priebe. She told me she had now’ reached the height of her ambition—painting monkeys. While in China, I started sailing up the Yangtze River, when I was suddenly attacked and overwhelmed by pirates. After I had been tied securely, I heard a pirate mention the name Baiiard, and I wondered if it could be my old schoolmate Vernon. I askeu to see the leader and sure enough it was Vernon. To show he still wfas good way down deep in his heart, he turned me loose and let me continue on my way. I lett China and decided to visit Greece. While driving along a beautiful country road, I suddenly came upon a large flock of Turkeys. As I always have had a weak- ness for Turkeys, I stopped to ask for one, and, to my surprise, I saw that the owner was Uleanore Luehmann. While talking to Eleanore, she asked me if I remembered Agnes Halloran and I assured her I dia. She informed me that Agnes was living in the next town, and was a great scientist. When I arrived at the town, I slopped to see her. Agnes told me that sne had been working upon a toothless toothpaste for years, and had just invented it and hoped to sell it for a high price. 1 was greatly amused upon my arrival in Italy to find Norbert Sullivan working hard in h»s macaroni factory. He produced macaroni that is longer and far better liked by the Italians than even spaghetti. My next stop was at Madrid, Spain. Here I found Margaret Kelly, proprietress and only instructor in a school for deaf and dumb. I spent a most enjoyable day visiting her school. Mary Kelly has started a new millinery shop in France. It is reported that she has a speciality cn horse's hats and is now perfecting one that will stay on a mule no matter how much his ears move. Switzerland and its snow capped mountains was finally reached. First, I Wit- nessed ice skating contests, and then ski jumping. The winner that day was a very snort, attractive oionde. ‘we used to know her as Ruth Bentley, but according to the program, I believe she must have assumed a somewhat more Norwegian-like name. 1 iett Switzerland deciding that the world was not so very big after all. My next slop was Benin, Germany. When I arrived, everyone seemed very much excited. I inquired what it was all about and a man pointed to a woman and said, It is she.” I saw a woman riding a iarge white horse and when she came closer, I recognized Rita Towey. Later I had a long chat with her, and she informed me that Hitler had just been overthrown and she was taking his place. When I informed Rita that I was making a trip around the world, sne insisted upon giving me a free ride to my next stop in her airplane. As we landed in Oslo, Norway, we caught a glimpse of Wayne Limbert’s Cheese Factory. His limburger cheese is odorless, better ventilated, and more tasteful. In addition to being manager of the factory, Wayne devotes much of his time preparing sermons, and calling upon his congregation, for he is a minister. 1 attended the World's Fair today in Sweden. I was completely surprised to see Phyllis Pratt as the Fattest Lady of the Land. She now weighs approximately six hundred and one pounds, fifteen and ninety-nine hundredths ounces. Upon coming to England someone stole my upper plate of false teeth, so I went immediately to Scotland Yard to the Chief of Police. I found her to be Dorothy Everts. She explained that the reason for her high position was due to her cleverness in find- ing the owner of the class ring of 1931 that she was still wearing in 1935. It only look her seven more years to find him. I had a most amusing time with James Bleifuss. He is a promoter in England. The English decided that they had been the subject of too many jokes, so they employ- ed James to teach them the art of seeing the humor in jokes. He is very successful in his new position. In fact, Uie Englishmen are beginning to laugh before he finishes his jokes. While sitting in the station waiting for my train, I read a most astonishing article in the paper. According to it, Herbert Hathaway has become a renowned style de- signer for movie stars. I saw Elmer Olson, one of the most prominent young men in the class of '35, when I reached Greenland. I don't remember the name of the town but it is about as large as Racine. His chief occupation was that of a Beauty Operator. He certainly has made himself famous, because I was told tht girls for miles and miles around come This page is sponsored by A. W. GRONERT—SHELL OIL STATION (TVW)

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THE TIMES OF '35 vr»- . . -.rr CLASS PROPHECY n In the year 1935 four members of the Senior Class decided to 3pend a portion of the year 1955 traversing the globe in an attempt to see the members of their class at work. In the following paragraphs, they relate to you the story of the strange and varied occupations in which they found their classmates engaged. Upon arriving in New York City, I got off the train and went to a baseball game between the New York Giants and St. Louis Cardinals. Having heard so much about the now three Dean Brothers, I was anxious to see them play. From my place by the St. Louis dugout, I could see all the players. Suddenly the team ran to the dug- outs and there were the three Deans and the youngest Dean was none other than Harold Dean from the Class of ’35. He pitched a good game but lost 1 to 0 when he threw insults to the umpire instead of the ball to the home plate. Before leaving New York I went to Coney Island. A large sign immediately attracted my attention. On a big tent was printed “Tingling Brothers and Sisters Circus.” I went to the circus. First there was a wild animal trainer act. This time it was a woman whom I recognized as Mary Dixon. Her act consisted of making kangaroos piay leap frog over lions and tigers. I talked with her later and Irom whal she said it seems that Charles Lamp and she are partners and own the entire show but like to go with the acts. I didn't get to talk with Charlie. Mavy said that he doesn t perform in the afternoon as it is too not. I went that night so I wouldn’t miss his act. Pretty soon in came Charles riding two mules with their tails tied together. He was swinging on the tails ana maxing funnier faces than lie ever did !n school. I have spent the day canoeing up and down the Amazon River trying to get a glimpse oi Edward Kuisle. I heard that he is trying to teach hippopotamuses how to properly chew bubble gum. Business relations took me farther south. While in Chile, I was attracted by a large hospital for the Prevention and Cure of Athlete's Foot. The manager and builder was Richard Runkle. I talked v ith him later and he stated that he had saved up his money from Listerine toothpaste and built this hospital. Dick stated that he still runs a mile in one minute and sixty-three seconds. While visiting the hospital, 1 noticed many famous athletes such as Babe Ruth, Bobby Jones, and Pug Lund While crossing the Atlantic by plane we stopped at one of the Artificial Islands to refuel, and while waiting there a strange aircraft appeared. It seemed to be made out of various old parts. After I found out it belonged to a Wooldridge, I was certain they must mean Homer, Jr., so I went to the plane and the pilot was Homer all right. He said that he had been to both poles three or four times. His aircraft motor had belonged to a washing machine, speedboat, motorcycle, and then finally the plane. He had now perfected it in such a way that he could travel about 99.999 feet on a pint of water. At present he was using compressed air as it was lighter. Margaret O’Connell joined the list of famous people recently when she swam across the Atlantic Ocean in less than three hours. I am sorry I missed the event. Violet Farley has taken up horse-back riding in Africa and has become a teacher of the art in a prominent riding academy. She invited me to go with her for a ride, but I declined. My next stop was in the Belgian Congo. While talking to some of the natives, they suggested that I see the jumping dwarfs, and so I decided to visit them. When I came to their village, I learned that Marie Gathje was their leader. She stated that she had always had the desire to make dwarfs jump, and that now she had some that could jump four feet high. Upon arriving in South Africa, I discovered one of my classmates reforming the natives. I’m sure you’ll be interested in knowing that this successful person was none other than Verna Born. In Honolulu, I found another one of our class, Irene Struve, who was the most noted and popular life saver on the beach. While eating dinner in one of the Hotels in the Philippine Islands, my attention was attracted to the leader of the Ladies’ Orchestra. Her uniform made it difficult for me to distinguish her at once, however, later I discovered that it was Maxine Crowley. I certainly enjoyed the fine music given by her orchestra. On my trip to the East I was delayed at Siam. Having always wanted to visit the King and Queen of Siam, I did so. I was surprised to find that the Queen of Siam This page is sponsored by JOSEPH A. STREIFF, Attorney-at-Law

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(TV$ 0 THE TIMES OF ‘ 3 5 to his shop. As I explored Alaska, I stopped one day at a Fur Trading Station. Very much to my surpiise, Kenneth Schield was successfully selling refrigerators to the Eskimos. My next stop took me to southern Alaska to see a large fish hatchery that I heard LaVonne Eggers was running. While going through the hatchery she told me that she was the one who thought of the plan of heating the river so the fish could be cooked in a shorter length of time. Carmen Struve is the happy owner of a gold cup which was awarded to the winner of the hundred yard dash in the Olympic contest held at Alaska this year. Marion Sackett astonished the world and made herself many friends among housewives when she recently discovered that by placing a row of popcorn along one side cf a pancake she could get a self-turning pancake. I saw her demonstrate her process in Canada. Hose Mary Monette, I understand, wo.3 last seen when she obtained her position as stewardess on the airship between the cities of Racine and Stewartville. I decided to stop at Reno to see a new court which had been established and was completely surprised to find the judge to be Jean Burrington. She is extremely in- terested and most efficient. She is now compiling a new set cf divorce laws which she claims will be better liked by the women, and more just to the men. While at the bank this morning, Lucille Wood was seen depositing a check for two million dollars. When asked about it, she said, “Humph, that’s merely my month- ly interest from the West Indies. Haven’t you heard about my new type of date plant? Why, I produce dates from calendar leaves.” JOKES Joyce Geer: “Did you cut your hair?” Vailey Peterson: “No, I washed it and it shrank.” Mr. Sutherland in Social Science: “The outlines are ready for the feeble- minded.” Silent toast at a school banquet: “Here’s to our parents and teachers, may they never meet !” Elmer Reich: “Miss Eidnes, I’m stuck on that question.” Miss Eidnes: “I’m glad you like it.” When better English students are made, Miss Tuohy will make them. (With apologies to the Buick Motor Company). Miss Tuohy: “What did Juliet say when she met Romeo on the balcony?” Ruth Bentley: ‘Couldn’t you get seats in the orchestra.?” Mr. Sutherland: “It gives me great pleasure to give you a mark of 91.” Mildred Betcher: “Make it a 100 and have a really good time.” Audrie Greene: “Social Science is aw- fully dry, isn’t it?” Irene Struve: “Not now. We’re studying the liquor problem.” Mr. Jorgensen: “Will all those who are going to take the test please sit in these two aisles?” Francis Squires: “I’d rather sit in a seat, if you don’t mind.” Flunk and the class flunks with you; dig and you dig alone. A high school graduate is a person who could have had an education. Ever since Derwood Howe started put- ting grease on his hair, everything slips his mind. Marie Ol3on tells us that :he new way for removing red ink stain3 is to get above 75. Miss Tuohy: Do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Belva Haas: “I didn’t even know hi lived there.” Allene Henke: “What are the prin ciple parts of the verb to hang?” Adeline Myhre: “A rope, a knot, and a neck.” Chemistry assignment: “Today we will take chlorine, and Tuesday arsenic and mercury.” Margaret Kelly: “What’s Miss Eidnes trying to do, kill us off?” Donald Haas: “Haven’t I seen your face somewhere?” Helen Oftedahl: “I shouldn’t be sur- prised. I seldom go anywhere without it.” Miss Tuohy: 'Did you learn Gray’s ’Elegy in a Country Churchyard’ as I assigned ?” James Bleifuss: “No, the cemetery is three miles from cur house.”