Stevens Institute of Technology - Link Yearbook (Hoboken, NJ)

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and tl1e howls. The unused menus for that remarkable function can be bought at half their original cost from W. H. B., connnission merchant, Hoboken, New Jersey. About this time it was decided to have the class photograph taken en deshabillef' Our fibrous photographer, Wood, consented to subject l1is camera to tl1e necessary strain, pre- viously having altered its construction as suggested in formula 1,732, Wood's Resistance of Materials. ' During the progress of this painful operation a peculiar accident occurred. One ofonr Faculty who has made quite a reputation as a fire laddie, happened at the time to be up-stairs in those regions over which he rules, when seeing what Annie Besant would call the astral reflection of the souls of Ninety-Seven's Heroes ou the building opposite the college steps on which we were assembled, immediately opened fire, or rather water, i-.pon the apparition with the fire hose. The effect of this shower bath was magneto-electrical, and Ninety-Seven showed her noted objection to water by immediately setting up a dry dam. The photographs arrived in due time, and although, as some one suggested, we felt as if we had submitted to the wet plate process, they were greatly admired. Before departing on our much needed summer vacation, we had a little reunion in Benjy Harrison's boiler room. Among the invited guests was one of Hoboken's Finest, who entered into quite a long argument with jakey to prove that there is no theoretical limit to the capacity of a Hoboken police tank. Needless to say that tl1e beverage 011 this occasion was milk of the kind that comes in kegs. After this the long vacation. A summer vacation is a very difficult thing to describe satisfactorily, for tl1e reason that everybody has a different opinion as to what constitutes pleasure, so we will leave this portion of our history a blank for individual memoranda. f-All was still at the old mill until the middle of September, when things began to show signs of li e. Soon after tl1e arrival of the Senior Class, it was noticed tl1at the Faculty began to study, so that they might be able to answer tl1e massive questions which we were expected to ask during our last year. Our principal occupation during the first term was purchasing books and having them put on the bill. The offhand manner in which we bought such masterpieces as Woodis Thermo, was really astounding, until you saw them submitted to the operation of being put on tl1e bill, then you understood the cause of our nonchalance. Bills, especially Luthins', are great refrigerators. After becoming Seniors many of our members developed attributes previously unsuspected. For instance : Harold is now a confirmed Lothario, in fact we are afraid that some day he will be taken from our midst by some bewitching inhabitant of our Ubibulous city. Our English members have become quite sporting in their tastes, one of them even going so far as to wager a glass of milk onthe result of the big fight. Messrs. Dow Tea and Dar B were seen only the other day enjoying in unison the fragrant and insidious weed. Serious results are expected. Sig.. Espanita y Topcte has of late become known in New York as a famous Chinese electri- cian. Further information on this subject can be obtained at the electrical department. Pages of interesting and descriptive anecdotes might be written about our illustrious members, but the historian is merciful as well as impartial, and therefore refrains. 24

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' enior' istory ' --1 -W'- :--:Ui-5 'S AVIN G undertaken the somewhat presumptuous task of recording the glorious achievements of Ninety-Seven, during the last year of its existence, the historian begs a few moments of your time and attention, and as a Senior History is a species of Ante-Mortem Statement, your solemn notice is hereby requested. If in tl1e perusal of this modest verbal confection the reader encoimter statements which seriously tax his credulity, let him consider our record and he will cease to doubt. X As tl1e last instalment of this story of victory and conquest omitted the description ofa college event, which has left never-to-be-forgotten impressions on the minds and pockets of ma11y, we will commence our history with a short account of Ninety-Seven's Junior Ball. In the month of April, during the year of 1896, an entertainment took place in New York City, which 11218 only been rivaled by one other social function occurring of late years. On the night in question we electrified the town by giving a ball, the eiiects of which are distinctly perceptible in many quarters to-day. - For eight hours on this eventful evening, everything was forgotten amid the pleasures of Terpsichore, and had the musicians not shown signs of weakening toward daybreak, we would probably have been dancing yet. After showing our artistic contemporaries our aptitude in this line, we prepared to stun the literary portion of the population by passing our final junior Exams. successfully. In this diiiicult task we were materially assisted by our Suicide Club. These praiseworthy individuals have a great knack of throwing themselves into the breach in times of trouble. With well intentioned curiosity they bombard the belligerent faculty with questions to which it is impossible to give sensible answers, thereby making by comparison all ordinary interrogations fairly sparkle with erudition. A few samples will suffice: Prof. K-, can you apply your living method to a dead language? Prof. Webb, don't you think it is profane to use G for gravity? Dr. GZ, wl1icl1 is the bigger, a Volt or an Ampere? T11e value of these men cannot be over estimated when Exams. arrive, it being the Faculty's turn to ask questions, which they proceed to do with mighty effect, being careful to balance the account of every man, and as the total number of questions is necessarily limited, the Suicide Club gets the lion's share. T Well, to continue, we accepted the honors showered upon us as Seniors as our just rights, and immediately introduced innovations in all the departments of college. Innnediately after our entrance into seniority we indulged in a short Calorific Recreationf' which has been given the euphonious title of Sup. Term. During this interesting epoch of our career we disjointed every piece of apparatus in the building, and succeeded in discovering that portions of distinctly different machines could be made to work together with great smoothness. Toward the end of Sup. Term the Junior Banquet took place at tl1e Quartette Club Hall in Hoboken. This affair was a howling success, two things alone being lacking, namely, tl1e men 23

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We have now reached the end of our career, and can look back with pride on our past deeds and exploits. We have reached the beginning and the end of all our greatness, tl1e end of our college life, and the beginning of our struggle with the world. The last event in our college year with the exception, of course, of our graduation worthy of our consideration, was our Senior Banquet. On this evening of our farewell reunion, all seemed to feel that this was to be the last time we were to enjoy each others company as a class. Some of the speeches of the evening were in a more solemn vein than that which ordinarily characterizes college toasts. After all, four years are a very short time when we have reached their expiration. Being interested in the future of the Class of Eighteen Hundred and Ninety-Seven, the histo- rian consulted the famous Oracle Faro, and was given the following prophesy : The Oracle considers that the following are the occupations best suited to the individual characteristics of Ninety-Sevens' members. The historian is in no way responsible for these opinions, which have a supernatural origin. Orfujmlzbn or Callzhg. Aunnuson-A Celebrated Beau and Masher. BALDASANO-Electrician Extraordinary to Ilis Excellency Li I-lung Chang. BALI.-Engine Driver. BicAeu-Dissenting Minister. BEu'r1.E1a-Jersey City Beer Bottler. BRUNE-JCSYCI' to Her Majesty Queen Liliukalani. CAMrnE1.1.-Undertaker. CHAPIN-A Weary-Willie. Cnsw-Colonel, Squashville Volunteers. Cniusrv-Bagmtist Minister. CRoMw1ii.I.- 'trong Man with Barnum 84 Bailey. DARBEE-Lecturer I-Iuber's Museum, New York. DATES-Fruit Vencler. DAVEY-Fitzimmon's Trainer. Doucl-Vrr-Sandwich Man. EI.I.EAU-BOOklTl2l.lfGT. ENN1s-Parkhurst Angel. GIKAIJY-D6tCCtlVC fSpotting Billiard Ballsj. HANFORTH--Principal, Deaf Mute Asylum. Hlnmsx-Philadelphia Bird Faneier. I-IUNTER-A Modern Jim the Penman. Hu'rcH1Ns-Mayor of Greater New York. KEi,Lv-Future King of Ireland. Kumi:-Keuffel 8.: Esser's African Agent. K1lu:1,ANo-Correspondent for The Standard, N. Y. ICNAPI'--EdltOI' of the War Cry. Koen-Reporter Police Gazette. LENT-PHVVII Broker. LI'1'ClIl Il5I.D--H Lost, Strayed or Stolen. Louwv-Editor of Freethinkers' Magazine. MACliE'1'II-All Actor. MAIN-CO11UGCteCl TO a Brewery. Orcufzafzbn or ClIffl31.L,'. MAI.i.Ai.mU-A Politician. Mfvrnicv-Still Blufiing. MlClS'l'Iili-ACTOb21t and Juggler. MEYER-Bouncer at Steve Brodie's, New York. Mli.1.icu-Instructor of Youth. MtDli'1'ON-G0lf Caddy. Mo'r'r-A Police Magistrate. MuNuv- Chef QDclmonico'sl. New York. Ol'llgLS-A Brewer, Agent for Piel's real German Lager eer. Oak-A Flour Baron. Powxans-A Gentleman of Leisure. Pkvou-A Monk. RICIIARIDSON-A Populist Leader of Note. Rosa--A Gardener. , Smvrick-A Barber. Seo'r'r-Editor Woman's Page New York Journal. Smrrii-A Famous Tenor. S'l'lEINBRliGKPE-A jocke . TERRY-With Jqean de lieske Opera Co. TnoMsoN-A l athematician. TIl'IMlXNN-Ah Armenian Missionary. TowNlc-Still Looking for ajob ! ! VAN BRUNT--0116 of Stevens' Finest. Wmuulzu-A Sunday School Teacher. WlCILTllICIi'1'-A Cigarette Manufacturer. WIIITMAN-Secretary of Farmers' Anti Gold Brick Asso- ciation. VVi1.l.lAMsoN-Inspector of Dairies. WlLl.lAMSON QDANNYJ- Importateur des Cosmetiques Parisian. ' Woon-Photographer, Coney Island. WOOl.SON-At Home with Mamma. I'IIS'l'0RIAN.