Stevens High School - Red and Black Yearbook (Claremont, NH)

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THE RED AND BLACK 15 Your class has thought of everything and has provided two great phil- osophers , explained my guide. Much to my surprise I found these two per- sons to be Dwight Brown and Donald Seaver! They have become very eccen- tric in their old age. and I am informed that they sleep with their eyes open so that they may have an even broader outlook on life. At an intersection on our way, were some signs and a billboard. The latter was advertising jimmy Miller and his all girl review, composed of Agnese Klementowicz, Edna Martinson, Margaret King, Annie Anderson, Barbara Carriel, and Marion Reilly. These chorines had sung, danced, and in general made life pretty miserable for everybody. This snappy outfit no longer exists because the censors Elizabeth Bartlett, Edith Gelfand, and Emily Belski. upon discovering in some way that their program entertained people, banned it. The other sign boards that I saw were plainly visible but were difficult to read. Perhaps the chief reason was that there were no directions on them. These signs were done by Gordon MacAdams who does all the sign painting in Hades , Mephistopheles said. The white sign points to the Ely- sian Fields and the black one points to Tartarus, the Land of Punishment, where many have gone because of some misdeameanor . As we turned the corner to go to Tartarus whom should we meet but Wayne Chapman. I wonder at my ability to recognize him because his appearance had so greatly changed. He was attired in black and white checked trousers and a gaudy red, white, and orange coat. He had capped the climax withi a tall green hat and was wearing a big bright badge. Wayne was the Chief of Police and also sold insurance on the side. However, he spent a large part of his time keeping his helpers together who are inclined to get off beat occasionally. Mephistopheles told me that his staff comprised Harold Caston- guay, Lena Hutchins. Richard Cleary, Teddy Yurek, Mary Hill and Marjorie Storer. As I was eager to get to Tartarus where I knew I would see many more of my friends, we left Wayne and resumed our tour. I was told then that the great clouds of green smoke in front of us were some that had come from the Land of Punishment and I began to wonder just what kind of a place Tartarus would prove to be. There, at the gate of Tartarus, was David Bowen keeping the home- nres burning with notes he had written, was writing, and probably would forever write. Dave now exercises his literary abilities by writing notes and poetry, not to the object of his affectons, but just for the penalty of it. Well, well, welll Better late than never . Here comes Yvonne Bernard trotting down the rails trying desperately to catch a train which seemed al- ways to be just two feet ahead of her. Fat Emerson was running it and as punishment for speeding, he was obliged to drive only as fast as Yvonne could run. Mephistopheles then pointed out to me a very strange looking Iigure who was obviously suffering from his punishment. When he came nearer to him, I recognized Lloyd Monckton. Monck had become quite stuck-up with gum-almost mad, in fact. He was making frantic attempts to remove large patches of gum from his body which was completely covered with it. Others

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14 THE RED AND BLACK a mental disease which was, in most cases, caused from over study in high school. I was amused at this last statement as I looked at the poor wandering souls, but I said nothing. Among them I recognized Robert Owen, Patty Bailey, Ralph Preston, Mary Coburn, Richard Prendergast, and Dopey McSwain. We passed this group and came to the shore of a long, deep, black river, and after my escort gave the ferryman, Charon, the high sign, he told me that the river was the Styx. Were my eyes deceiving me or was the be-spectacled, bedraggled old man in the ferryboat really Wayne Langill? Back in '39 Wayne had been the factotum of our class and was amazing us with his brilliant theories and silly questions. When bigger and better questions are asked, Langill will ask them. Farther down the river we came upon a boat which my guide Mephis- topheles referred to as The Showboat on the Styx , and none other than Roy Lucier was at the helm, having been discharged from H, M. S. P'inafore . Seated with a huge cigar in his mouth and 'his feet overhanging the railings was Cap'n Ernie Faucher himself. His daily performers seemed to be the vocalists Melvin Butterfield and Olga Bychok, and once in a while, if time and weather permit, so I was told, jasinski and his violin come on deck. After crossing the Styx I saw a long glass building about which I inquired. This is the hall of science, said Mephistopheles, where you will be able to see more of your friends . In one of the laboratories I saw two very queer-looking men. One, whose appearance was definitely accented by a long black wig and an immense pair of thick reading glasses, was perched on a high stool eagerly poring over a ponderous volume. When he looked up, imagine my surprise to find that he was none other than joe Maiola, and that his friend, who was prancing madly around an experiment table, was Eddie Zbierski. They had abandoned their athletic pursuits and have become typical scientists, devoting their whole time to research work. Though living a life of solitude, they seemed to thrive on test tubes, bacteria, and microscopes. My next visit took me to the office of Charles Frederick Osgood Jr.. M. D. who had evidently turned quack and who was then practicing in the Elysian Hospital, the staff of which included Zena Koledo, Mary Langdon, Clara Sawchik, Pearl Leigh, Geraldine Johnson, and Barbara Hill. Evidently. whether during or after office hours, certain members of our class had not forgotten how to cut up . Just outside the science building was a small group of people one of whom stood out from the rest, namely. Sir Michael Nestervich. It seems that poor Mike never could decide into what field he would enter, so he mixed his para- chute jumping with his music and now his compositions don't mean a thing until you pull the string. Two elderly men wearing flowing black robes and carrying little green lanterns next drew my attention.

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16 THVE RED AND BLACK who were being subjected to this penalty, only in a lesser degree, were Dolly Muzeroll, Tony Marro, Peggy Green, john Shostak, Peter Ptasnikoff, and Andrew Mack. After leaving this group I noticed someone standing on a high ladder making figures on the dark walls. The artist was Hester Perkins, decorating the walls of Hades with stick figures, and because Hades is steadily growing larger due to the influx of so many seniors, I guess her job is permanent. Why is everybody in such a hurry ? I asked, seeing someone racing with a deer which had evidently had a good start. You will recall , replied my guide that back in Stevens High School Peter Nemcovich was always seen running down the corridors at dismissal and now, for punishment, he is racing with the very swift deer to the end of the world . just as we were leaving Tartarus. I saw a large sign which pointed down- ward, and there, in a large hole were Bundy Boudette, Peter Melsky, and Kike Kolenda industriously shovelling coal and slowly making their way through the walls of Tartarus to Hades proper. We soon passed a very unpretentious building which we found to be occupied by Butch Scoop'em Henry, the raving reporter for the Daily Hellion . Butch has employed as secretaries Tina Laskevich, Victoria Gelew- ski, Gerry Giguere, Madaline Stone, and Marjory Howe. His cameraman is George LeLoup. I saw by the paper that Earl Thurber and his All-Hades Nine fea- turing George Allen, Frederick King, George Lockwood, Niels Lundgren. Nathan Anfronak, Donald Fontaine, Allan Devereux, and Inkie Haugsrud, went to town with their opponent the Elysian Rocknes in their last game. The latter team stars such players as Alfred Buinicky, Anthony Golub, Howard Emerson, Bob Almond, Charles Reilly, Karl Kaufman, and Gerald Burns. jay evidently didn't appear at every game because when he did, he always had to take time out to get some shut-eye . Malcolm Durward had a whole page in the newspaper and at that time was drawing campaign cartoons for Leslie Kemp who was running for Mayor of Hades. Arthur Rouillard was swaying the masses with his bombastic soap- box speeches for the forthcoming election. Because his addresses were so drawn out and far-fetched, it took the Richmond and Tipping twins. working in al- ternate shifts, day and night to keep him supplied with campaign material. It seems that Peggy Anne Phillips and Margie Small, whom we knew better as the Corporation , had their Personal Service Agency in the news- paper building also, and I was told that they had done wonders for Barbara Bowen who was then fair, fat, and forty, and was living the life- a la old maid . The Corporation's assistants were Helen Coffin, Ellen Hill, Bertha Haugsrud, Loretta St. Martin. and Jack Backman. Very much pleased at having stopped at the newspaper otiice, and not satisfied to remain in one place for a long time, I left and once more started out in a different direction. Very soon I, came to a big landing field where I recognized Earl Wilson standing in front of one of the buildings. Evident- ly, Margie White and Earl had remained faithful and were co-pilots in their private airship, WW39 . They invited me to take a ride with them and I