Sterling High School - Alpha Yearbook (Sterling, OH)

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JOKES Harvey- I've a new jacket that is just like a banana peel. Pearl- Why, how is that? Explain ! Harvey- It's easy to slip on. He- Of course you went up the Nile ? She- Oh, yes, there is a beautiful view from the top. The Seniors are smart because they ought to be. The Freshmen are smart because they want to be. The Juniors are foolish just to make a hit. And the Sophomores-well, they just can't help it. She- We don't Want Herbert and Calvin any longer. He- Why ? She- Oh, they're long enough. Class Characteristics :- P Freshmen-Grassy. Sophomores--Sassy. J uniors-Brassy. Seniors-Classy. Henry- Hello, Smith, fishin'? Smith- Naw, just drownin' worms. Mr. Ferguson- Paul, spell potato. Paul- P-o-t-a-t-o-e. Customer-- That was the driest, Hattest sandwich that I ever tried to chew into. Oscar- Why here's your sandwich. You ate your check. Do you want the court to understand, he said, that you refuse to renew your dog' license ? Yessah, but- We want no but 5 you must renew your license or be fined. You know it expired on January lst. Yessah, so did de dog, sah. Dorothy Knox on a summer morn, Heard the honk of an auto horng She saw Jay Miller go flying past. Gee! said Dorothy, ain't he goin' fast. Then she thought of all the sighs and tears That Jay had caused her these last few years, ,So she set her teeth and never flinched And took his number and had him pinched. Mr. Ferguson-- I was reading where Mr. Edison says that four hours' sleep is enough for any man. Mr. Hart- That seems to be our baby's idea too. 32

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T stands for Temper, which we well control, For we've lost very few from our class roll. U stands for Us, the Senior Class, Every member a loyal lad or lass. V stands for Violet, our pretty class flower, For we never did like to be solemn and sour. W stands for Work, which we all do like, But the teachers all tell us, we're ever on a strike X stands for X-ray, which we mean to be, But how we'll succeed, we'1l let you see. Y stands for Yes, for we always know, Nothing we should. fWe're all in a row.J Z stands for Zelda, an intelligent lassie, But she adds only one to the Sophomore classy. 31 I A

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Mida- I'm worried about my complexion, Doctor. Look at my face. Doctor-- You'll have to diet. Mida- I never thought of that. What color would suit me best do you think ? Paul- Wonder why Herbert planted his onions and potatoes so close together ? Calvin- Says he planted them that way so the onions would make the eyes of the potatoes water and keep the soil irrigated. Minnie- Why weren't you at the station with the car to meet me as usual ? Carl- My dear, you ought to get into the habit of some meetless days. Mr. Hart- Now, Henry, can you give me a sentence containing the word 'gruesome'? Henry-- Yes, sirg father did not shave for a week and he grew some whiskers. For Sale-A bull dog, will eat anything, very fond of children. Wanted-A girl to cook, one who will make a good roast or boil, and who stews well. Wanted-A boy to open oysters, 15 years old. Bertha- Percy is horrid. When we were out riding the other night a little bug flew right into my mouth, and I asked of what that was a sign. Zelda- What did he say it meant ? Bertha- That I should keep my mouth shut. Why is Carl Steiner like the Atlantic Ocean? Answer-Because he has waves in his hair. Teacher- Please give me three proofs that the world is round. Soph.- Yes, sir. The book says so, you say so, and my mother says 19 SO. On May lst, and after, all chickens will be prohibited from running at large and also riding on bicycles on the sidewalk. Paul- Have you read 'Freckles'? Zelda- No, thank goodnessg mine are light brown. Mr. Ferguson- Which three words do you use most? Senior- I don't know. Mr. Ferguson- Correct Saint Peter- Did you buy an Annual ? Freshman- N-o-o-o. St. Peter- Show this man below. Gale- Father, when has a man horse sense ? Father- When he says 'Nay,' my sonf' He- My love is like this ringg it has no end. She- My love is like this ringg it has no beginning. - 33