Stapleton High School - Purple and Gold Yearbook (Stapleton, GA)

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--I CLASS PROPHECY Although it has never been publicly announced, it is generally known that I possess the remarkable power of projecting myself forward through the years into any given time in which I am interested. Tonight, being restless and weary with the cares of the day, I longed for a change of scene and time. So, closing my eyes and relaxing, I wished myself into the public library of this town, thirty years from now. I found myself in the reference room of a magnificent new building. As I glanced at the shelves, my eye was attracted by a thin red leather volume. Taking it down, I saw the title was Who's Who and Why in Stapleton. Eagerly I turned the pages and read the preface. When I saw how interesting it was I fled back into the Now, bringing the book with me. As I must hurry into the future again, in an hour, before the book is missed, I shall read it aloud to you. I am cer- tain you will be interested. fThe speaker reads from the red book, Who's Who and Why in Stapleton, dedicated to the Class of 1950, which class furnished most of the contents. Preface. There are few names in this book, but not few enough. The only entrants who deserve a place on this roll of honor are the members of the Class of 1949, a distinguished and intellectual group. In order to fill up the pages, other names were inserted, but need not be taken seriously. Thomas, Rear Admiral, naval officer and target shooting expert, won the battles of Puget Sound and Hudson Bay in the last war between Daylight-Savings-Timers and Anti-Daylight-Savings- Timers. Noted for his inability to learn to swim and his skill in singing sea chanteys. It is believed that because of his remark- able radio broadcasts on Deep Sea Navigation Beyond the Rockies. he will receive a promotion, being made a four star Admiral. Unmar ried, Hobby: Oyster dredging. June. B.S., A.B., M.A., Ph.D., D.D.S., F.O.B., and S.0.S. Dean of the Dormitory College for girls for the past ten years and an educator of note. Author of What Isn't Wrong With Education, and How To Teach Russian To A Low LQ. Prides herself on having the most expensive and best college in America. Hobby: Failing to pass intelligence tests. Clubs: Sons and daughters of the Mentally Alert: Intelligentsia: and Mind Over Matter. Lloyd, owner and manager of the huge chain of restaurants known all over the world as the Eat and Run Restaurants. Self made, prides himself on his rise from proprietor of a hot dog stand on South Street to owner of one hundred plate glass white front resturants. Married to Lizzie, the champion pancake flopper of the state. Hobby: Analyzing hash. Club: United Restaurant Keepers of the World. 13

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To our dear old school building itself, we leave the pc-an-ful quiet caused by our absence and any apple cores, pencil marks, wads of gum or crumpled notes, we may have left behind. We leave the Junior Class our good luck. It made us what we are today and it should satisfy them. In addition to that, all our privileges and rights as Seniors in class room and chapel will revert to them as well as any notebooks, pencils, fountain pens. unfinished lolly-pops, or unfinished business left behind in our hurry. We will let them pay our debts also and they may have any boy or girl that we leave behind in our haste. To our good friends, the Sophomore Class, we leave our patience. lt will be found useful as the only means by which they can endure the Juniors. To the young and unsophisticated Freshman, we leave a map of the school building, so that they will not get lost and roam about in everybody's way. We include book How to Tell The Teachers,' a pamphlet compiled by us after four years of arduous study. We give and bequeath to the teachers our very kindest regards and sincere gratitude for their unfailing kindness and aid. 12

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Esther, teacher of auction, duplicate and contra:-t bridge, to Work, Whitehead. and Lenz. Winner of International Bridge- tourna- ment of pcnalities to be imposed for trumping partm-r's an-, losing the lead, forgetting the bid, and saying, What Trumps? Maruice, orchestra leader and composer of distinction. Mar- ried to Rosa Trillalotta, leading soprano of the Metropolitan Op:-ra Company. For the last five years leader of the Phidiscordant Orchestra and the Air Forces Band. Composer ofthe Third Floor Suite, Concerto in A Flat, and air for the Saxophone and the Tuba. Walter, member of the Academy of Arts and Science, President of the Perfection Film Company, which turns out three hundred sixty-five ten reel films each year--one per day. In his employ are the most beautiful shaped bathing girls, the bravest heroes and the most beautiful heroiens in the world. Among his best known films are Oroastus, a Greek Epic, and The Multiplication Tables, a problem play. Betty, sixteenth President of the United States, elected by the Independent Party, active in politics since infancy, mayor of her town three terms, United States Senator for two terms. Speaker of the National House of Representatives one term. Sponsored the bills for disfranchising saxophone players, radio crooners, and talkative fishmen. Noted for her unique foreign policy. lt has not been made public yet and probably never will be. Hobby: Crocheting Bathmats. Jimmy, a poet of a new school. Author of Owed to a Tailor, Lines on a Lady's Face, and Sonnets to a Sunflower. Unmarried, but frequently reported engaged. Hobby: Collecting unused postage stamps. Clubs: The pen and ink: the Return Postage Society. Wilma, premiere danseuse of the Russian Dancers, the Chinese Ballet, and the Topeka Tap Dancers. Married and divorced three times. Noted for grace, beauty, and originality of dances. Introduced the popular ballroom steps, the grapevine glide, and the thistled-down float, but is more interested in interpretative and classical dancing. Hobby: Prevention of corns. Glynn Hadden, famous inventor. Married to Mary Moneybags. Has invented over one thousand labor-saving devices, all of which are blessings to humanity. Among the best-known products of his agile brain are: Restwell mattresses for oyster beds, Boomerang collar buttons guaranteed to return to the hand that lost them, and indestructible leads for silver pencils, also exercise for reducing one's income tax. Hobby: Reading detective stories try- ing to solve the mysteries. 14