Stanford High School - Memo Yearbook (Stanford, KY)

Page 23 text:

do all the work and the children play. After all, why not? The teacher is the one who gets paid so why shouldn’t she do the work? Douglas Noland has become very famous singing “Maple on the Hill” over WSM on the Grand Old Opre. News Flash! Word has just come that Vannie Hampton, the second Greta Garbo, has just eloped with John Boles, pardon me, I mean John Goggin, the famous Wall Street financier. I lifted my eyes from the Wheel of Fortune and when I looked back again it had made another rotation and what I saw before my eyes was almost unbelieveable. There, in the East Room of the White House was our own Mildred Gooch, who has become the President of the United States. How times have changed. Now that women are controlling the ballot, women Presidents are very common and the men have to do the cooking as we haven’t yet learned to live without eating. Which leads to the fact that Richard Fisher, who used to take pride in driving nails and other such manly arts now takes pride in displaying his cakes and pies, as he recently was acclaimed the world’s champion chef. I was told that President Gooch’s private secretary was Martha Lee Hiatt, who was rated excellent in commercial work during her high school days. I had wondered for a long time what had happened to my old classmate, Alfred Harris Pence, but the Wheel of Fortune revealed all. He now owns a soap factory in Philadelphia. When he was in high school he read that Philadelphia was the dirtiest city in the world, and so he decided then that he would be the one who would undertake cleaning it up. The wheel revealed that Owsley Rochester, with all of his talents, has become a washman, owning the largest laundry in Chicago. His laundry is the model one, nothing is ever lost there, or torn, and nothing is ever starched that shouldn’t me starched, and everything is starched that ought to be starched. The good wheel, Fortune, ceased to spin. Thus, the fate of the Senior Class of 1938 has been truthfully revealed.