Stamford Union Free School - Camera Yearbook (Stamford, NY)

Page 35 text:

CAMERA 33 It was midnight. In the smoking room of a club a young man sat huddled in a chair. A friend entered. 4'Hello Smith, not going home yet? No, muttered the despairing one. I-I daren't. Why, what's the matter?', Matter? At 8 o'clock I telephoned my wife and gave her a perfectly good excuse for not coming straight home -and his voice sank to a whisper - l've forgotten what I said. 79 Smitty -Carl what's your ideal for a wife? Carl-Beautiful but dumb, My own true love must be. Beautiful, so l'll love her, And dumb, so she'll love me. Fred Govern in Caesar class: Miss Collins, is Mars a god or a goddess? Bill :Do you believe kissing is unhealthy? Gladys: I've never- Bill: Never been kissed? Gladys: No, never been sick A mother, to her young son who was eating very rapidly, said: Junior, the train doesn't leave for some time yet. Junior--I know it, Mom, but l'm packing my suitcase. Mathildie-Say, David, what are you going to give me for my birthday? David-Close your eyes. Now what do you see? Mathildie-Why-Nuthin' I David-Thatis precisely what l'm going to give you. Bill Raynor-Well, Mike, how is Jim coming in college? Mike Govern-Very good, he is taking three courses. Yesterday I re- ceived a bill of 5525 for Latin, 3525 for Greek, and S100 for Scotch. Miss Shepson to Fred Govern-Fred, your essay on My Mother was just the same as your brother's. Fred-Yes, we both have the same mother. Mildred-Are you going to wear those oxfords this afternoon? Ruth-No, they have rubber holes on the bottom and they stick to tl1e floor. A doctor had forgotten his patientls name but did not want to admit it so he said, Do you spell your name with an e or i? g'Why, Doctor, said the patient, my name is Hill. 6'Peg Layman--Youid make a great hit. Joe Leo-At what? Peg -Y'ou'd make a great hit in The Singing Fool if you could sing.

Page 34 text:

32 STAMFORD SEMINARY eff 9 Ge E JOKES Miss Anderson asked the English Ill Class to write a composition on a ball game. She was satisfied with their work and very pleased with all of them except one which was Arthur Raynor's. His composition read as follows: 6'Game postponed because of rainf' MISS ANDERSON IN HISTORY C CLASS Miss Anderson-Who were the Reds? fBolshevistsJ Emerson Stevens-The Indians. MISS ANDERSON IN ENGLISH IV CLASS Miss Anderson-Mr. Stevens, what are four aids in writing a short story? Emerson Stevens--Fountain pen, ink, paper and eraser. Anna Vamosy absent-mindedly to Karl Brooks: Karl, why aren,t you in the Girls' Chorus? Edward McLaury was preparing to go out riding with Opal. Suddenly he called to her in a startled voice: Opal, is this bay rum in the brown bottle? '4Gracious no, dear! that's mucilagef' Oh,,' said Ed., after a pause. '4Maybe thatis why I can't get my hat off? Arthur R.: What are you doing tonight? George M.: Nothing much. What are you? Arthur R.: l don,t know. George M.: Who else can we get to play? CARD or THANKS Mr. Fiefer wishes to thank Miss Jane Hanford for her kindness in pre- senting hifm with a bouquet of daffodils. Ed. McLaury: Do you pet? Opal: Sure-animals. Ed: Go ahead then, l'll be the goat.

Page 36 text:

341 STAMFORD SEMINARY the sh quite Been Tompkins-l hear you neck. Evelyn Henderson-Sorry, I,ll try to be quieter next time. Miss Collins Cin French I Classl-What is ambiguity? Himie Atkins-Two wives. Joe Leo to Peg', Layman-What's the biggest joke you know? Peg -Why, you of course. Mr. Getman fin Economic Geographyl : Mr. Mattice, why do they have ip yards near water? Bob: They'd have to float them over the land. Junior and Marcia were playing football. Marcia kicked the ball far, and Junior had to run after it. When he came back he said, Marcia, don,t kick the ball so hard. done? Marcia: Why, do you think it hurts the ball? Junior: L'Well, how would you like to have a cow kick you ? Miss Anderson: Mr. Smith, how much of your composition have you Lee Smith: Oh, I bought a new tablet. Sheik: What's the matter with the Essex, Ed? Ed.: It's got a broken heart.