Stamford Union Free School - Camera Yearbook (Stamford, NY)

Page 64 text:

Scene: At the gate of Paradise. Enter ai stoop-shouldered, narrow-chested stranger, knocks confidently. The door opens and St. Peter comes out. St. Peter: VVho is there? Stranger: I am Bolmer S. Goodgrind of Stamford Seminary. I want a cushioned seat in the front row. St. Peter: Not so fast, Sir. Did you play on any of the athletic teams of S. H. S.? Stranger: VVhy, no, Sir, I thought it foolish, Sir and be- sides it took my time from my lessons. My final average was over ninety-nine per cent. St. Peter: Wl1at classes did you join? Stranger: None, I did not waste my valuable time go- ing to class meetings. St. Peter: Did you do any cheering for tl1e basketball and base ball games? Stranger: ' ' N-no, Sir. St. Peter: Of course, you bought a Camera? Stranger: t'VVhy, I-I- St. Peter: CIn terrible Wrathj t'Cast him down into the seventh pit, into the mist of the everlasting fire prepared for chumps and Muckersf' l Curtain Mac : '4Hey, Hoppie, did you know that they use women as newsboys in Spain? Hoppie : That's nothing. In America they use women for newspapers. Bertha Atkins: According to statistics-48.2 per cent of the inhabitants of Stamford Seminary has holes in their stockings. ' ' Prof. VVilson explaining some new ideas in basket ball before a game says, Now are you ready fellows? Saul: Wie don't play tonight do we? Miss Cowles: I'm going to give all my Cicero students a. dunce cap. Maven: I wear size WA.

Page 63 text:

'WVhat is the knocking at the end of the niurder scene in 'Macbetl1'? asked Miss Mahoney. Oh, that's Duncan kicking the bucket, replied a Senior, Miss Beal: Please recite, Miss Robbef' Natalie: All I had has been given. Miss Beal: Nothing has been given yet. Natalie: HI must agree with you. Mr. Getnian in Chernistry Class: What is density? George Stevens: Er, I can 't exactly explain it, but I can give you a good illustration. Mr. Getman: Your illustration is very good. Pnoor OF FACT A Freslnnan was wrecked on a lonely isle Where a. Cannibal king held sway: And they served hiin up to a shaded Prince, On the eve of the very same day. But alas! for them, since Heaven is just, Before the next day 'twas seen, They were suffering greatly from colic and cramps, For the Freshman was terribly green. 7 VVhy Was The Suicide Specialist like China? Because everybody in it had a cue Qqueuejf' Senior: I have so inuch on my hands I don't know what to do. Bright Post Graduate: 4' Why don't you use soap and water? Miss Coon i11 Intermediate Al0'ebr'a: Now a train can't n I 6 go-39 nnles an hour, can it ? Arthur Bush: t'The U. and D. can. T. lNat. Robbe: I Wonder how niuch it Will cost me to stay in VVashington, ' ' Mac ? 'tMac : Nothing, because they will keep you in a zoo.

Page 65 text:

WANTED ! l !! A Derrick-Kate Beggs tshe's up to her ankles in work head firstly A longer dinner hour--Everybody. A lounder bell-Labatory classes. More Seniors-Mr. Getinan. Less Sophomores-Miss Preston. A crate of pencils-George Lewis. A carton of tablets-Keiuieth Doonan. A patent for his walk-Keunetli Klum. Silence in Chapel-Miss Coon. A new pencil sharpener-Everybody. Apparatus for picking up his feet-Kenneth FAMOUS FOLK OF '26 Most athletic--Hugh MacLaury. Most class spirit-Anna Canfield. Biggest tease-Buster Robhe. Nerviest-The Sophornores. Most lady-like-Mary Brown. Loudest talker-Hilda Lynch. Most bashful-Raymond Govern. Most conceited-Marion Canfield. Sleepiest-Caroline Grant. Classiest-Benny MaeKil1ip. Biggest flirt-Angelyn ,lJi1XV1'Q11C6. Wildest-Lyle Stevens. J olliest-Mary Moore. Most musical-John Gray. Crossest-Naoma Effner. Most brilliant-Margaret Haunilton. Meekest-Rose Baird. Greatest faddist-Gertrude Decker. Greatest kidder-Bob Decker. Teacher's trial-George Mc-,Naught. Biggest bluffer-Joseph Kemper. Most modest-Bessie Canfield. Most likely to succeed-Margaret Hamilton. Most silent-Kenneth U tter. Baldwin