Stamford Union Free School - Camera Yearbook (Stamford, NY)

Page 63 text:

'WVhat is the knocking at the end of the niurder scene in 'Macbetl1'? asked Miss Mahoney. Oh, that's Duncan kicking the bucket, replied a Senior, Miss Beal: Please recite, Miss Robbef' Natalie: All I had has been given. Miss Beal: Nothing has been given yet. Natalie: HI must agree with you. Mr. Getnian in Chernistry Class: What is density? George Stevens: Er, I can 't exactly explain it, but I can give you a good illustration. Mr. Getman: Your illustration is very good. Pnoor OF FACT A Freslnnan was wrecked on a lonely isle Where a. Cannibal king held sway: And they served hiin up to a shaded Prince, On the eve of the very same day. But alas! for them, since Heaven is just, Before the next day 'twas seen, They were suffering greatly from colic and cramps, For the Freshman was terribly green. 7 VVhy Was The Suicide Specialist like China? Because everybody in it had a cue Qqueuejf' Senior: I have so inuch on my hands I don't know what to do. Bright Post Graduate: 4' Why don't you use soap and water? Miss Coon i11 Intermediate Al0'ebr'a: Now a train can't n I 6 go-39 nnles an hour, can it ? Arthur Bush: t'The U. and D. can. T. lNat. Robbe: I Wonder how niuch it Will cost me to stay in VVashington, ' ' Mac ? 'tMac : Nothing, because they will keep you in a zoo.

Page 62 text:

f , r L ca n' 'YPD 5- v ,- J O K E S Miss Cowles: t'You are always behind in your studies. I-Ioppyw Rayner: Well, if I Wasn't behind I 0ouldn't pursue them. A Soplioinore: Hxvllilt is that joke box on the piano for l? Cletziz t'Be0a1use we Seniors like to play jokes. Miss Coon in Biology Class: HVVl19I'9 do bugs go in Win- ter? Duinb Fresliie: iLS92l1'l'l1 Mefl My kingdom for il pony said the Cicero student in the final exzun. Miss Cowles: Vl7l1en was the revival of learning? Hoppy : 'tJust before regentsf' Advive to Juniors: A zero 21 day keeps the Diplomas away. George Lewis: XVl1z1t is your ElV6l'ilgQ l11C'01110?H Cuyle: t'Oh, about niidiiiglitf'

Page 64 text:

Scene: At the gate of Paradise. Enter ai stoop-shouldered, narrow-chested stranger, knocks confidently. The door opens and St. Peter comes out. St. Peter: VVho is there? Stranger: I am Bolmer S. Goodgrind of Stamford Seminary. I want a cushioned seat in the front row. St. Peter: Not so fast, Sir. Did you play on any of the athletic teams of S. H. S.? Stranger: VVhy, no, Sir, I thought it foolish, Sir and be- sides it took my time from my lessons. My final average was over ninety-nine per cent. St. Peter: Wl1at classes did you join? Stranger: None, I did not waste my valuable time go- ing to class meetings. St. Peter: Did you do any cheering for tl1e basketball and base ball games? Stranger: ' ' N-no, Sir. St. Peter: Of course, you bought a Camera? Stranger: t'VVhy, I-I- St. Peter: CIn terrible Wrathj t'Cast him down into the seventh pit, into the mist of the everlasting fire prepared for chumps and Muckersf' l Curtain Mac : '4Hey, Hoppie, did you know that they use women as newsboys in Spain? Hoppie : That's nothing. In America they use women for newspapers. Bertha Atkins: According to statistics-48.2 per cent of the inhabitants of Stamford Seminary has holes in their stockings. ' ' Prof. VVilson explaining some new ideas in basket ball before a game says, Now are you ready fellows? Saul: Wie don't play tonight do we? Miss Cowles: I'm going to give all my Cicero students a. dunce cap. Maven: I wear size WA.