St Thomas High School - Thomist Yearbook (Rockford, IL)

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Dear Editor: I'm subject to laughing spells. What am I to do? . SNAKES EYES. Dear Mr. Eyes: Try arranging this column. I'll warrant you go mad. Dear Editor: How can I chew gum without being noticed? GIDDY GAL. Dear Mrs. Gal: Wear a muzzle, Giddy, wear a muzzle. Dear Editor: I am taking Public Speaking Lessons and am having great difficulty in making my lips . mobile enough to enunciate clearly. As this is very essential I should like your assistance. MUSH MOUTH. Dear Mr. Mouth: Try chewing gum. If this doesn't work, pro- nounce the Welsh word, ullaloggitabollytfwen- adpsygogpfkhujalln ten times daily until the desired degree of flexibility is attained. tNotej You are cautioned against practicing this last in public. Dear Editor: I am a young boy in my teens. I suffer from extreme bashfulness. If a girl looks at me. I blush and become inarticulate. I am very bright, but in consequence of my shyness, I do not show my brilliancy. I have tried to tell my teachers how smart I am but they do not comprehend. Please tell me what to do about this. STAMMERING JIMMIE. Dear Stammering: Your trouble is unique. I see that you have a proper appreciation of yourself. Try to make others have it of you. Assert yourself. Be a man. Wear rouge to conceal your blushes. Your case interests me. Write again. Dear Editor: What is the height of ambition? C. R. CITY. Dear Mr. City: I'm not sure, but I think it is two Jews taking elocution lessons. Dear Editor: I hear that Raymond Anacauskas was re- sponsible for the Paws' victories in Football. Please explain. WELLAND STRONG. Dear Mr. Strong: That is easy. He played nurse maid. Dear Editor: I am in the oratorical contest and must prac- tice my oration several hours a day. My back is very weak. What can I do to overcome this handicap? SUGAR PLUM. Dear Sugar Plum: Wear a brace, Sugar Plum. Dear Editor: I have great trouble in concentrating on my work. If anyone comes into the room I find myself involuntarily looking towards the door. Your advice will be gratefully received. EARNEST JONES. Dear Mr. Jones: XVcar blinders, Earnest. Dear Editor: I am very popular-so popular in fact that I have to refuse invitations or else fail in my subjects. As extreme popularity is embarras- sing, what would you suggest? POPULAR SALLY. Dear Popular: Your case is hopeless. Try to bear the bur- den. Perhaps you could get someone to share your popularity. W ET PATRI A l 11311

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Letlf Laugh Section i 17. ' jr aiam' in 2 , W SE yL 4- ' 1r . Q ' ll I s Nm W ' .gi 1 7? D N Vail 1 4 4 THE DISPENSARY Ye of 'tender risibilities. Hew to the line. Editor: ONETON OVERWEIGHT. Dear Editor: VVho is the most popular person in the school and why am I? ' I. M. HANDSOME. Dear Mr. Handsome: The answer to this will be given next week. Please send stamped envelope and answer will be mailed to you personally. Dear Editor: Why did Joe Petritz cry when Green sang My Old Kentucky Home. Is he a Ken- tuckian? WORRYIN WILLY. Dear Mr. Willy: Joe isn't a Kentuckian, he's a musician. Dear Editor: I am on the basketball team and want to smoke, can you suggest a substitute for cigarettes? I. C. SPARKS. Dear Mr. Sparks: The best I can suggest is that you get a pair of glasses and smoke them. Dear Editor: Can you tell me why Green was entered twice in the Davenport tournament? I. M. A. STUDENT. Dear Mr. Student: That was because he went around the gym so fast they thought he was twins. Dear Editor: I'm way behind in my studies. Can you suggest a remedy for my trouble? U. R. DUMB. Dear Mr. Dumb: Why not try eating tomatoes and ketchup? 'ff moi 9

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i -- V - -V - - - A-.-Y.-. VYYVY an WY Y. 77.7, , adi e f r re M' e ' W 1727: 13:41 ' Ir a 'QTQQ' WW' 'i 'j ' , 'Him---'--Y : '11-77' --Vf - -ff - -'W Agia-ff H---f ' l Paul Caged flvej whose sister Anna sings in Teacher: Define vacuum. the choir: I never thought I'd see my dear Anna againf, Fond Father: Why not, Paul? Paul: f'She went up so high I thought she'd never come downf, M. K. Ctaking an auto ridejz What would happen if we turned turtle? M. E.: UIld say some one would have some mighty Fine soup. Teacher ito pupil chewing gumjz Carol, take that gum out of your mouth, and put your feet in. Sister L.: Can you name a liquid that will not freeze? A. Cholke: Hot air. English teacher: What three words are used most in English? B. MCK.: I don't know. Teacher: f'Correct. Q En lish teacher: What is Romanticism? g Philip MeD.: I haven't prepared my les- son today. I was sick Friday, and I had only one study period today. Teacher: What did you study that period? Philip: I studied my Physics lesson be- cause the Superintendent was coming to that class. 1 Dull pupil: It is your head. Teacher: Explain what you mean. Dull pupil: That was what my father said. He said my head was a vacuum. They tell one about Peg Judge, around school. It seems that when Peg was small she was very fond of making mud pies and playing with June Kinney and C. Brown. One day she came into the house with a particularly dirty dress. Her mother said: VVhy Peg, look at that dress, itis all muddy. Peg answered: Well, I tried to keep it clean, but the mud was too dirtyf' I had a rooster, I put him on the fence. He crowed for St. Thomas 'cause he had good sense. SONG OF THE TWO Half past eight, Thoughts of being late. Half past nine, Never am on time. Half past ten, Getting heck,' again. Half past eleven, Wishing it were seven. Half past twelve, Making one grand delve. Half past one, Hoping for some fun. Half past two, Beginning to feel blue. Half past three, Teacher: I call that dishonest. Glad to be free. Philip: I don't. I call that common sense. By one of the f'Two. f'f1T - .. ' , ':::l: ' f ' i 11323