St Pauls School - Sigillum Yearbook (Garden City, NY)

Page 45 text:

Page Two THE SAINT PAULS RECORD June 9 I968 SchoH And Wenk To Frgh+ In New York Groaner Schott and Brg Doug Yvenk have been booked rn New York tor a trtle contest Gene Socralrst Hart the ow ner and brg w heel of Wash rngton Round Forest that famous old arena rn New York announced recently that he had arranged a world cham pronshrp fight between these two top notch wrestlers the proceeds of whrch wrll go to charrty a fund of whrch you can be sure Hart wrll be the heneflcrary by hook or by crook' Accordrng to all reports thrs battle ought to be a humdrnger The last battle between these two grapplers resulted rn nrne broken bones and ten concussrons all rn the crowd You see they have a knack of throwrng each other out of the rrng Therefore Hart has decrdcd to do away wrth rrng srde seats rn order to conform to safety regulat ons lard down by the New York Health Depart ment There was some controversy at a former meetrng of these two Some people thought there was somethrng gorng on when Groaner prnned Brg Doug rn one second flat Of course we New And Different Charm lnsh'ru'rron Opened By Uhlrg Casanova Uhlrgs new charm school the Dude Department for Drrppy Dames opened yesterday wrth a great deal of fanfare and eclat The enroll ment of the school was srmply over whelmrng' Cas wondered what rt was that brought the ladres rn such droves but tlnally he oprned as how rt mrght be due to hrs personalrtyl Cas school combrnes a new technrque wrth an old one He strll offers the grrls exercrses mud baths and steam prts but he also runs srx day brcycle races guaranteed to make any woman look lrke a wrarth of her former self Cas chref helper Cyrrl Cyroon Crowther says that Uhlrgs methods are rnvrncrble He swore Ive never seen a grrl farl to be rmproved at Cas charm school They just bloom here' DO YOUR HAIRS FALL OUT7 DO YOU HAVE DIFFICULTIES IN GROWING NEW ONES7 IF SO VISIT TETE DU BOISI' HIS WIGS CHEAP HAIRY' M.l.T Announces Two Vrfal News H'ems MIT IMeatball Infra Red Techb makes the headlrnes today by announc rng two Important news rtems Frrst Dr Lours Kaufnran has conr pleted hrs ten year old research work on the common cold He was tryrng to drscover rf the cold was really common He has finally reported hrs flndrngs to the M IT Board of Tootsres They are and we quote The common cold rs properly trtled Hrs nerct research job rs understood to be the trackrng down of the goo goo bug a rare strngrng rnscct of the Arctrc wastes Second Drck Leonard completrng a srxteen year post graduate course at M IT won the Tenth Invrtatronal Pentathalon wrth nrnety erght out of a possrble nrne thousand pornts He sard I owe rt all to PT at Sanctr DeNoyelles AH'arns Hrs Life s Ambrhon A new Afrrca Amerrca tunnel has been completed by Colonel Srr Edward De Noyelles KB of DeNoyelles Ltd Thrs tunnel has been the lrfes ambrtron of yesterday he was heard to remark Rot' Suppose I drd put all my eggs rn one basket' Jack Grrmes Srr Edward s chref engr neer yesterday asked a substantral rn crease rn salary on hrs next Job Sard h How do you thrnk I can support all my wrves on 530000 a month? It must be the DeNoyelles rnfluence' Bruehl Arrargnecl In Monaco Hrgh Couri- Martrn Bruehl that famous Monte Carlo gambler and card shark has been arrargned rn Monacos Supreme Court on a charge of rncome tax eva sron The prosecuting attorney rs that dashrng Belgran Monsreur Albert Smoothre Stasse who has never lost a case rn whrch a woman was con cerned Martrn sard today that he was hopeful of avordrng convrctron because there was no woman rn the case Stasse on the other hand sard that he was gorng to chercher la femme or les femmes as the case mrght be Under the laws of Monaco only one hundredth of your gamblrng rncome must be turned over to the government Stasse marntarned that Martrn pard only S5 00 on wrnnrngs of over S5 000 000000 at the roulette wheel Martrn has as yet not announced whom he has re tarned as defense attorney but rt rs gen erally belreved that Judge Brschoff f Reno wrll be asked to come to Mar trn s ard Page 41 rShIes Monopolrzes Newspaper Rackef James Pierpont IJPI Strles has r Icently reported the acqursrtron of four new propertres rn hrs world wrde news paper syndrcate J P one of the most wrdely known nren rn the world now has bought out all semblance of opposr tron to hrs newspaper monopoly H runs papers rn Arabic Chinese and Hotpornt hrs most famous tlon rs Horses and Spurs pamphlet satrrrzrng educatron effect on the world According to Al'r.n Prosswrnrmer J P s left talon man and srlent partner the Strles syndrcate rs the rrrost powerful monopoly ever establrshed on earth Rumor has rt that Al rs the spur that goads the horse KJ P 5 rnto actron How ever that may be the Strles syndrcate IS certarnly a gorng concern French publrca a cattx and rts Be'rhel Breaks All Exrshng Records Charles Bethel the speed demon of the 60s has done rt agarn' Yesterday on the Utah Salt Flats Charlre hrt seven racrng car breakrng all exrstrng records When asked for a statement he replred Gracrous to be lad I owe rt all to ma' Charlre s mechanrc and general handy woman Spud Croker sard that there wasn t a faster vehrcle rn the world erc cept perhaps Joe Krndreds new com brfratron nrotorboat car rrage Murdock V II Hess S+ar+s Search For Missing Smrthe Herr Rudolph Hess has left for South Afrrca on another of hrs combrnatron huntrng ercplorrng trrps He has gone thrs trme wrth a deflnrte object rn vrew to search for the mrssrng screntrst Ed gar Mrcrobe Smrthe who mysterrously drsappeared rn the Congo Jungles and has not been seen or heard from rn two years Rudolph one of the worlds most rllustrrous explorers and authorrtres on prlrnltrve lrfe recently drscovered Fla mrngo Junctron at the South Pole and Pearl Ellrs rn the Patagonran Pampas IHe has hrgh hopes of findrng Mrcrobe somewhere rn the depths of Afrrca Bubbles says however that the suc cess of hrs safarr depends entrrely upon the maturrty and cool headedness of hrs natrve gurdes He hopes to flnd some who have some semblance of culture even rf lt rs only natrve culture Good luck Drck and be careful not to get lost yourself ' I I v I I 0 0 . , I 1 0 I I .1 .. - I l . ' . . I ' ' - ' ' ' ' '. Q' . . Y - ' ' ' rr ' . . ,, .3 , H T 1 , . . ' V' ' . ' . -. . . . 'Q v 1 l - ' f' .' ' V ' H ' ,, i . r - Y ' . 1' 1 . . . V ' , ' ' . . . ' . ' I 1 . - H - ' ' HH ' ' rr -' n -' I 1 ' r ' 0 ' i ' 0 0 I 0 0 . . ' 1 . . ' ' ' ' 1 ' - - . 7 ' I know this isn't true! Sir Edward and, upon its completion hundred mugs as hour m. h.'S Slfpeplet 1 1 V , ' I ll ' ' v V . ' .YV tl . ' I 'V V 1Y' Y 1 1 - ' 7 - I .- y E 1 ' 1 0 o ' l , .- ' 1 ' 1 7 v er H . . . - . ,, , . 0 ' ' , 0 U . .' Y H l . , , s 0 0 IA 1 1 1 E T Y . A ' ry v ' . ' ' ' . . , , ' T sl ll ' !! I 1 1 , 1 ' ' lr 'n , D ' . 1 1 1 E . 7 Y Ll T 1 1 1 ' 1' , , ,' ' . . ' 1 - 1 ' ' 'f ' I . . . r ' s . -1 . . H . 1 ,, . 1 1 ' 1' 1 I ll ,E 1 . - ! v ' 1 -1 ' , , , ' ' .. ,Q E V - Q I 1 1 E 1 -- ' ' o ' -

Page 44 text:

5 SAN E SAN og vc ovpzr eccrzsTR1.7? Z' 2' wg lt St Emauls mecor 3- ' .-o ll' 0 9?oI? .'.2-foil, ar en Grtg long rgslancf I 9 ,ajgzwlxa hi ESTABLISHED I9I8 GARDEN CITY N Y JUNE 9 I968 VOLUME L NUMBER I2 Due' Leads To The Trone Boys Reuouuee Tloeuf Inlury Ot Boege Marksman Henmg Besreged By Mad Throngs Ot Boege Women Amateur Status Sudden! 'e '9 HaPPY He DK' II GARTER PRESENTED TO The female population of the world was rmmeasurably saddened at the sudden news of the serrous woundmg of Lotharro Boege at the hands of Don Juan Hennrg Both men were rn Parrs and for some reason or other Juan challenged Lotharro to a duel Thrs reporter gathers that the duel was held rn Montmarte wrth prstols At any rate Lotharros bullet went wrde and Juans drdnt At last report Juan was holed up rn the Rue de Samt Crorx where he was besreged by vast hordes of vrolent women brandrshrng knrves and pearl handled revolvers and all cryrng for the lrfe of the desporler of Gods grft to womanhood When hastrly and dan gerously rntervrewed by our Parrs corre spondent Brll would onlv say stole too many of my gals He had rt comrng to hrm the rat' Bob Wood Sues For Divorce In Reno Robert De Ber rran Wood has filed surt for drvorce rn Magrstrates Court of Reno Nevada Hrs surt rs berng vrew ed by Judge Brschoif an old school chum of Bobs who has spent the past fifteen years of hrs lrfe rn Nevada pre parrng a book on Womens Whrms It has been rumored that Bob has offered to grve Judge Brschoff s book the beneflt of hrs great knowledge and ex perrence rf the Judge would grant hrm hrs drvorce thrs srxthb on grounds ot rncompatrbrlrty The Judge expects to grve hrs decrsron on Wednesday June 19 at mrdnrght as he says the nrght arr makes hrs head clearer Wood rs record as sayrng He better grve me that drvorce or else' DR STURDY BY GUILD Presrdent Rrchard Wood of the Photographers Gurld whrch rncr dentally clarms a membershrp of ten mrllron yesterday presented the Order of the Iron Garter to Dr Robert Aloysrus Sturdy drs trngurshed engineer and rnventor Drc,k sard the award was for merrtorrous work rn the Held of rnsectrcrdes par-trcularly for the rnventron of that remarkable new pest krller Qurmbrcrde Dr Sturdy modest as always sard VVart trl you see my next rmentron Its gorng to be a per fume that wrll make women more allurrng than ever before I shall call rt T NT After the ceremony the charmrng Mrs Wood a for mer Val entme krssed Dr Sturdy and sard Any frrend of Drcks rs a frrend of mrne Noted Ant: Feminist Basely Assaulted Dr Wallace Crane the drstrngurshed world lecturer has finally settled down He has establrshed a Y M CA rn Forest Hrlls N Y whrch he now calls hrs home Report has rt that Wallys hrgh rent cerlmgs and hrs complete ban on women rnot one wrthrn a mrle of the place! have rather kept down applrcants for rooms desprte the housrng shortage When asked for comments on thrs strange state of affarrs Wally expressed hrs mystrflcatron I cant understand rt' Certarnly thrs lack of rnterest cant be because of my ban on women for I know rt to be a screntrflc fact that most men do not lrke women Yesterday whrle delrverrng a speech on the evrls of the opposrte sex Dr Wally was suddenly hrt by three rotten tomatoes Fortunately he caught the culprrt that famed motorboat burlder Joseph Krndred we 40 I Ex Wimbledon Duo Become Pros Promoter Lummus Interests Them Wrth A Protubrtlve Otter, W S T C Denounces Parr Bob Krller Trone and Tommy Drller Boys current Wrmbledon doubles champrons have agreed to grve make a professronal tour of Europe under the sponsorshrp of that shady promoter Doc Lummus Accordrng to Lummus the Whack Krds succumbed to the almost prohrbrtrwe offer of S5 000 a match rn Europe Therr rtrnerary w rll rnclude Parrs Toulouse Marserlles Cannes and Nrce Whether or not ther go further than the Rrvrera says Lum mus rs up to them Grrls have been known to make a strong rmpressron on them and you know the Cote dAzur' When reached for comment the Na tronal Tennrs Assocratron and West Srde Tennrs Club expressed therr horror at the gall of the parr Why sard a spokesman for the WSTC we prac trcally made those bums' How s that for gratrtude' Tommy Boys rs perhaps best known for hrs gruellrng vrctory rn the West Pebbles Beach Tournament whrch he won by defeatrng Sebastron Murdoch wrth scores of 30 28 28 30 1715 06 40 38 Trone acqurred hrs fame when he defeated Marcel DeBerrran for the French crown by 6 0 60 and 6-0 Both men played unattached' I C' -1' ' ' ' 8 ' -rf' 1 W -'E 1 ' :av on 1 T22 - -2 E, f-3 5 '1' X , :E WE: A ' - as ' 2 iv . . if to 3 If 1- 5 ' '32 X, J-i: 5 eg. .I : cl , fl 9 3,652 2 fs - v J Q Q s 1 ' ? T --...ns- ' I ' ' I ' 0 - I J I . . , ..-..-... 1mv ,,,, B, . .-,.. , ,,r, ,WW3 lm-- I , a N O -i ll Il 'I I i , . . . . H ' V1 . ' t. - H ,, . ' , V - . '. 0 1 . - . D 7 - I H ' I1 ' ' ' ' ' 1 ' . Q . - v . . V . . , I I ' rl - ,rr i - , - .. - . - ,, . ' 7 Y . n A ' D - , - , - ,- up therr' amateur' status rn order to y 1 . l I - 'l . , . E v ' ' ' I . Y . , ,y rr rv I i - . . . - .- H ' . . . Y H ' H , , - ' ' - ' -' ' . . . V . v : MHe . . . . ' . 1 ' ' . ' ' - - . rr o 0 o ' -' V Y - ' . , . - ' U , Y E ' ' YY! '- I . In I . . - ' im. , U K l I ' Y ' ' 'Y - , I . . . . . Y ' - - - - re- . . . ' ' .. . y ' H . A V. H , . ,, I , I . ' .yr , ' ' ' , AA ' 1 ' ' ' V '. . Y E . - , . . . I , . . . . Y. i . . ,, ' ' I . I I I I. I. I . I I ' Q . I ' ' v ' y ' - ' I V y Q - , ' 4 . ' - ' I ' I - -, ' on . ' I V I . ,, i . . . . . , - - - , - , I, - ' IJ. ' za

Page 46 text:

YZ SAN 7, V zvzccusun f z 5 Lmlm ,Q 918:60 y5,.......h,,,p O ,- Nl '-., A N lb 522 mf w, 4' W :if 3, 2 Y ' 1 ' Q 5 H mag 1 ,Ti gi if ??fM.. . -'33'