St Marys High School - Purple and Gold Yearbook (St Marys, WV)

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CLASS PROPHECY The cruiser made its first stop at Illar's ldiotic Island, where we spent a day enjoying ourselves. Of course, there was a theater owned and operated by Alex lllar. We had to see the picture, 'The Belles of St. Marys,' starring Claire Jewell, Elsie Conaway, and Carol Heddleston, and produced by that one and only Harry Gene Bradtield. The show was so good, that we felt like doing some- thing else as soon as we could get out. Traveling down Main street, we spied a huge billboard, advertising a professional charity football game lfor the benefit of the players, of course.l On our way to the stadium we saw a policeman Paul Gault, who helped us find a short cut. We arrived at the field in time to see the team come on. Their coach was none other than former All-American player Bussy Taylor.. We heard the announcer, Roy Flowers, rattling off the merits of some shaving cream, lmust have been Colgate's.l He then gave the starting line up. This included: fullback, Christine Bills, end, Ruby Fleeman, and Jeanette Birkhimer at center. During a time out, the water boy staggered onto the field. We had seen that stagger before, and soon recognized Mahlon Fauss.. lWonder if it was water?l At half time, the band put on a stupendous performance, flying onto the field, then going into the formation of a map of the United States, in honor of the rocket ship. The band was led by those curly headed Sheiks l?l from Shangri-La, Dale Winters, I-'rench Wagner, and Jim Heilman. After the football game, we were nearly starved. Some one recommended Claris Stewart's Restaurant, as it specialized in Roasted Scorpions, Cockroaches, and Space Food. We ordered Space Food and found it to be delicious, lif we could have tasted it.l Barbara Donley was stricken with ptomaine poison, and the ship's nurse, Betty Waugh, was summoned to treat the patient, lshe wrapped up Barbara's big toe.l On the following day, we resumed our journey. After ten hours of flying, we were forced to land on a small star for refueling. We had waited for a half hour when a tired looking attendant, half-way bent over from the weight of a huge mustache, appeared. We soon discovered he was Larry Matheny. Since we had broken our floating clutch while landing, the master mechanics, Carlton Hester and Clyde Lamp were called to fix it. They told us all the gossip: 'Do you remember Hazel Maston?' She's married and has six redheaded Flower's. Joan Neely is modeling Smear-Oh Lipstick at Smooche's Place. Jackie Dotson

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CLASS PROPHECY Flash! Word has been received that the rocket ship The Bobtown Cruiser has landed on Mars I l l This is the most spectacular, the most sensational news that we have ever been able to bring to our listeners. This uniquely designed cruiser was built by that great scientist, Malcolm Hilty, a graduate with the 1946 class of St. Marys High School, who after years of study received his XYZ Degree from the world renowned center of learning, The Institute of Pruntytown. We are very proud to be the first broadcasting company to bring you this thrilling day by day account of the happenings aboard the space ship as told by Miss Patricia Farren, favorite international current events reporter. Following is her story: This marvelous rocket ship was born after many hours of slaving and think- ing. Five years of intensive work were necessary before this trip could even be attempted. Food and clothing were the main problems. Containers had to be found in which to preserve the food at high altitudes and special garments had to be designed. This was capably done by Pat Foley and Wauneta Wagner, whose outfits are worn by the best dressed women in the United States, Great Britain, and even by the natives of the Belgian Congo. Now let's look at the crew members. The dare-devil pilots, Neil Eddy, Paul Buchanan and Jr. Ingram, were especially skilled because of the excellent ex- perience they had gathered while driving those horseless buggies belonging to the grocers of St. Marys. Without the cooperation ot our skilled mechanics, Coleman Shultz, John Scott, Jr. Hooper and John Ross, we would never have reached Mars. A most vital factor in our crew was the navigator, John Nicholas, the Einstein of 1970. Ot great value was our radioman, Dale Moore, who kept us in contact with our home, the Earth. We lived the life of Riley. Entertainment was provided by the Jazz King, Orlando Campbell and his orchestra, with Helen Hall pouncing on the ivories, and starring Gayla Truex as the groaner. As a special treat, tasty pastries were prepared by those passengers trained in cooking, Lucille Hamilton and Virginia Nicholas, who plan to set up a bakery on Mars. When this was announced, many passengers offered their assistance. Ted Northrop, who had no future plans was appointed flour boy, and our Hard-hearted Hannah from Hebron, Wilma Scott, because of her good taste, was made official sampler. gl

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CLASS PROPHECY is now famous and rich. It all dated back to when she received her first diamond ring. Now that's her hobby. Leaving this friendly place behind we continued on our merry way. Sud- denly holes began mysteriously to appear in the sides of the cruiser. A thorough investigation of the ship was made. The stowaways were found to be Arland Stewart, Leon Long, Robert Brammer, and the boss of the crew ot gremlins, Neil Cramblett.. When the gremlins saw that we were fellow class-mates, they apologized for their misdeeds and said that they were only trying to get pro- moted from coal shovelers to boiler mates. They even helped repair the damages. Now we were on the last lap of our journey. .lust ahead we saw a beautiful land of mountains, lakes, rivers, and meadow lands. We circled the planet Mars and finally set the rocket ship down on a grassy level spot. Jean Freeland was first to step off the 'Bobtown Cruiser,' carrying with her a flashbulb camera. She planned to take pictures of the planet and its people for her newspaper. 'The Mars Time.' Her associates were Faynelle Francis and Betty Higgins. Among the passengers on the rocket ship who had hope of doing the impossible were the explorers, Mary Lois Kennedy and Ruby Knight, who took Bob Cantwell and Kenny Hall along as their strong arm helpers. Not all these people were going to win selfish honors for there were John McFadden and Jeanne Eclrart, both well-known missionaries, who wished to establish churches for the heathens living on Mars, and for those who will follow these adventurous pioneers. The road has been opened by these daring space travelers for vast explora- tion and colonization. A new world is there to be conquered. This concludes Miss l arren's story of happenings aboard the Bobtown Cruiser. Keep tuned to this station for further reports ot developments on Mars. M. K. V. N. J. F. B. D. H. H. R. K. P. W. M. H. J. H. A. I. P. G.