Saint Marks School - Lion Yearbook (Southborough, MA)

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retically, at least, and VV.T.G. tried, somewhat unsuccessfully, to keep the organization out of trouble. Have you talked to Dr. Parkman about this? he would ask, trying to discourage a fiery editorial. It was our general policy never to talk anything over with Dr. Parkman. Or W.T.G. would say: This cannot be printedf' Our general policy-we can let W.T.G. in on the secret now-was to print it anyway. The formula was suc- cessful, up to a point of diminishing re- turns. One week we printed a horrifyingly indecent statement: What the Dra- matic Cllub needs is more smut. Dr. Parkman was appalled, and made us all go down to the art room and paint out the offending words with India ink. Not that anyone who wanted to, couldn't read right through the ink anyway. The Civics Club had a thriving mem- bership that year. An organization known as the Left VVing was started, and every- body fonght like tigers in the Old Gym. Ah, the elections, and oh, the impeach- ments! Eight of the fifteen members of the flub belonged to the Left Wing, headed by Kidder, l,ivy, and l,over. The object of the VVing was to block all legislation: on every measure the vote was eight to seven. The best thing the Wing ever did was to elect Brooksie secretary, so that he couldn't vote, or even talk, but only make voluminous notes which were later burned. W.T.G. supplied coke for the whole organization: that was certainly' its big attraction. But the Club as a whole accomplished a lot: one of its important measures was its decision to send a vote of confidence to President Roosevelt. The President didn't answer it, and neither did Mrs. Roosevelt. There was a vile scandal toward the end of the year, and perhaps wc'd better leave it out of this record of the innocence of adolescent school-boys in Southbor- ough, but. . .lt involved Ham tnot lieanj and a girl named Peggy. Pretty soon the news got out: and W.'l'.G. called a form meeting and said that llam had not been kicked out for smoking: it was something infinitely worsef' The whole thing was inordinately thrilling. lm- mediately before his expulsion young Ham had written an editorial for the l.B.T. in which he had extolled the virtues of the Godly life. Ah, well. . .This Ham, also, before his expulsion, went around cutting off people's ties with the words: You donft want that awful thing around your neck. He tried it on Grease-spot, and Grease-spot burst into tears and said he was going back to the South, yes, suh, and he was taking his squirrel with him. Of course, he and the squirrel didn't go right away: but they didn't turn up the following fall, either. And Dead-pan fthe St. Mark's Training Uorpsej failed to turn up the next fall, too. The end of our Fourth Form year was a time of minor losses, and we never did get an- other squirrel. But the next fall there were fewer but better Fifth Formers.

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V When we got to the Upper School and Fuzzy came, we were definitely horrible little monsters, like gremlins. Woofy, acting from motives of boredom and try- ing to satisfy' an unsuspected desire to kill someone, no matter whom, hiked over to the Worcester Turnpike and dropped twenty-pound rocks on trucks, shrieking with glee, until finally he smashed the windshield of a truck-driver named Pulaski. Pulaski gave chase and caught Woofy near Fayville. You'd be from the School, no doubt, said Pulaski, who appeared to know the type. The whole matter was referred to Dr. Park- man, who immediately made a school rule against dropping rocks on trucks. It is still Qwe supposel in effect. The bridge became known as Woofy's Bridge, and it is still a source of pleasure to go over and stand on it and imagine rocks hurt- ling at Sunoco trucks. . .The year was dramatic, in that it involved conflict, both inner and outer. J.M., who may or may not have been nuts, stole the famous Blue Beetle pamphlets from the Biology lab-subversive papers on a slightly bawdy biological subject. They were widely circulated, and on the basis of this incident our friend Tuck parted company with the Form: a calamity, perhaps. In those days the Form was divided, broadly, into two camps. One of them was in Dorm E, where Hank QChairman of all he observesb kept gallons and gal- lons of bottled beverages. The other section lived in North 3 and spent much time beating down doors. There was al- ways a notice on the door of Room U, inhabited by Hans and Henry, that started od: PENALTY OF TWENTY C205 MARKS. This room is OFF BOUNDSV' But as the door of Room U was customarily off its hinges and leaning against the wall at the other end of the corridor, the notice had little effect. In Dorm E Willie, Dave, Sid, and Geoff spent a great deal of time making im- mense conga chains and dancing, lightly clad, into the Blue Beetle's private bath- room, where they performed a sacrifice, prayed to the Great Spirit of Dorm E, and retreated. The Blue Beetle's only comment was: Where is everyone going? Meanwhile Deadpan sat quietly in his alcove and chewed on immense peppermints that his aunt in Hoosic Falls continually sent him. I Am got up on the alcove walls and paraded around shouting: The Blue Beetle is the Neme- sis of Crime. Everything was undeniably festive. There was a law against swearing, and Dave went around hollering glee- fully: There is a penalty of four marks for swearing, DAMM1T! Chairman finally got twenty CQOJ for having bottled beverages- one Pepsi-Cola-in his al- cove: and later that year everyone bought Manitoba apple-juice in cans. . . Effie got into one of his wild rages and threw a petrified tree at Willie: and if he hadnlt missed, it would have been too bad. Sid spent most of his time glowering at everyone from under a terrific mass of yellow hair until a master asked him if he had taken the Twenty Year Vow and gave him fifty cents. Towards the end of the year, there was an immense battle which started with Geoff's throwing a shoe-brush and grew to tremendous proportions, until finally Willie heaved a mattress and bureau into Sid's alcove. The Blue Beetle said it was unneces- sary. It probably was, too. There were other hilarious events that year. The I.B.T. was going at a merry pace, exploding every two weeks like a bomb and making everyone Cincluding the editorsj feel highly uncomfortable. Hank fthe other Hankj was editor, theo-

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YI The next year was placid: dull, almost. In New Corridor, W.T.G. was yelling his head off, to very little purpose. Clt seems to us, in retrospect, that he spent most of his time in fruitless yelling at us.j A character named Rene turned up, speak- ing English with an accent horribly reminiscent of Claudette Colbert in Under Two Flags. Zis place, it. . .how you say?. . .stinks. I shall be vairy ,eppy 'eref' No one will ever forget his vivid flights of oratory on the subject of fallen France: Ah, France! She is daifeated: ze laight of her glory is gone oot. Ze Franchmans are all daid: zousands and zousands of zem. . . In those happy days we first began to take trips to Marlboro, an unfortunate habit which has since become our only vice. Cl.aughter and boos.D Everyone had radios right and left: it was wonderful. Toward the end of the year. there were the wonderful politi- cal scandals about Cai who was to be Head Monitor, and fbi who was to be represented on the Student Council. Two idioms were added to the language: upper crust Cwhich means just that and is a vile thing to say about anyonej and lower crust Qwhich was a fluctuating term meaning anyone you wanted to associate with: or, roughly speaking, the entire Form :D Dave's attempts to climb from the lower crust to the upper crust, and, later, his attempts to climb back again, were a source of constant amuse- ment. Gil won the Head Mo fight from Kitten, while Ouiji as dark-horse candi- date went into the longest and most pain- ful sulk the Form has yet seen. And since then we have found out that no one is ever represented on the Student Coun- cil except the members thereof. But the graft-fights of our Fifth Form year were Wonderful to behold. This year, also, Geoff started to write a play: his idea was to present it in the Old Gym to raise money for the Red Cross. He and Willie finished the first act and then Dr. Parkman got hold of the script and said it eouldn't possibly be presented. Why?', said Geoff. Whom does it of'fend?,' Everyone, said Dr. Parkman, in the entire school. Well, spee1fieally?', said Geoff. Me,', said Dr. Parkman, principally. Dr. Parkman, by the way, left at the end of the year to go in the Air Force. Bishop Sherrill. in a voice like Doom, announced the news. There was an air of improbability about the whole thing, like being told that the President was dead. The year ended with Dr. Parkman holding everyonc's undivided attention. VII Herbie, the Theological Student, turned up in the fall of 1949 with theinews that religion was for all men. There was im- mediately started a lavish campaign to convert Herbie to complete and utter atheism. It may or may not have failed