St Josephs Collegiate Institute - Star Yearbook (Buffalo, NY)

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THE STAR John Candee, Jack Griffin and Frank O'Connor and Frank Hanssel beoueath to those in the inferior classes who have endeavored to play football, their knowledge of how to become Catholic Champions in two months of competition. Ask-me-another Schnitter wills his hard earned title to that Junior who can in the course of one period compile the greatest number of foolish questions. To future patrons of the School Library we bequeath that atmosphere of solemn silence, profound recollection and diligent study which always reigned supreme within its sacred precincts whenever the learned Seniors were engaged in perusing some of its many volumes of forgotten lore. Furthermore, a consistent patron among our members, Charlie Mc- Donough, donates to said Liubrary the one and only copy of his latest work in fiction entitled, Reminiscenses of a White Wing, or Cafeteria Floors that I have Cleaned. To Francis Hamel, an inhabitant of the neighboring and much maligned burg'h of Kenmore, an honored member of Class '27, bequeaths the doubtful delight of hearing his fair town assailed at every opportunity by maliciously inclined teachers and students. Abe Lincoln O'Connor leaves to the most stupid Junior the privilege of not being able to determine whether or not a door is closed. ARTICLE III. Moreover, WE First, Extend to the faculty at large, and to Brothers John and Malachy in particular, sincere congatulations on having got rid of us. We are now equipped with the brains, if not the discretion, to ride abroad conquering the world. Second, Proclaim that during the months of July and August immediately following the publication of this document, this far-famed institution of learning shall cease to dispense knowledge to the rabble , out of respect for the memory of the Class of '27. fSignedJ For '27A, FERRIS CUDNEY, President For '27B, JOHN CANDEE, President WITNESSED BY Joseph Lux and Frank Condon, Attorneys-at-Law June 24, 1927 I fl

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THE STAR The Expiring Sveninrs' last will anti Testament THE distinguished, and soon to be extinguished, Class 5.3 of '27, late residents of St. Joseph's Collegiate Institute, as City of Buffalo, County of Erie, State of New York. hav- ing served at least one full year's term in Rooms 4A and ' 4B of said institution, and being now of UNSOUND mind and LAPSED memory Do make, publish and declare this to be our last Will and Final Testament, all others being declared null and void. ARTICLE I. To the Senior Class of next year iif there be anylz First, We leave to you the name of Senior, that most awe-inspiring of titles, at the pronouncement of which Freshmen faint, Sophomores weep, and Juniors cringe. Second, Upon you we bestow the guardianship of Rooms 4A and 4B for a period not to exceed one scholastic year unless you become so enamored with your studious surroundings that you feel it would be an injustice to your teachers to deprive them of your presence after so brief a stay. With the custody of the afore-mentioned rooms we confide to you the care and preservation of all trophies, pictures and documents proclaiming the greatness of your immediate predecessors, in particular the oil painting done in wax which a-dorns the rear wall of Senior Ag we Warnyou never to try to improve on this Work of art. Third, We direct you to pay, with accumulated interest, all the honorable debts that We have justly contracted and left as an heirloom to the school. fKeep our addresses quiet while performing this dutyl. Fourth, We further direct you to erect in some conspicuous place a suitable monument to the memory of the Class of '27. Cldeas may be obtained by a perusual of the Washington Monument. the Bunker Hill Monument, or the more conven- iently located McKinley Monumentl. ARTICLE II. To the school in general we leave our exalted example of irreproach- able behavior and inimitable scholastic achievement. With sympathy for our successors -do We realize that never again can St. Joe's produce such master minds as Brass, Sebert and Peschiog such exponents of strategy in debate as Cuba Candee and Manila Griffin, or such dry humorists as Cudney, Maher and Ready. Poi ty

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77 T H E S T A.R Eluninrs' ilieplp to the Qeniur Qilass will THE prospective Seniors, Class of '28, having heard the 'Q'-iff' LF ef! Very modest and astonishing claims contained in that mag- nificent document termed The Expiring Seniors' Last EQ Will and Testament, and realizing that this most astute body, the class of '27, is of unsound mind and lapsed mem- ory do hereby reply. We Wish to assurg them that there will be a senior class, next term, one of which the school will be proud. We also wish to thank them for the title of Seniors, which they are passing on to us, and for yielding to us the guardianship of rooms 4A and 4B. In accordance with their desires, we promise to protect the rooms, and fixtures from all possible harm. but we are sorry to say that we cannot accept the Warning not to try to improve the Work of art in 4A. We have resolved that Columbus' beard must -be trimmed, and have organized a committee, authorized to do it at any cost. That such a blemish on the face of Art as the famed dis- coverer's untrimmed beard could be tolerated is inconceivable. In order to comply with the wish of our honorable seniors, we had decided to erect a large marble monument to their memory on the present site of the Liberty Bank Building, engraved with the names, dates, etc., but the entire idea went on the rocks when we found there was no record of the dates of the birth and death of the aforementioned notables. Therefore, in order to overcome this obstacle, We offer to plant a nut tree in the new barren space south of the school building as a lasting monument. Last month we organized a committee for the purpose of investigat- ing the causes for the strange behavior of the Worthy higher-ups in the cafeteria during the recess and lunch period. At the last meeting, several explanations were offered, among which were: malnutrition, halytosis, im- proper bringing up and pyhorrhea. All these were rejected in favor of one: they were born that way. With regard to the masterminds, Brass Sebert and Peschio, we wish to inform the Seniors that We have among our number their exact counter- parts, Joe Lux, Healy and Remde. With us also are the World-famous debating team, Steffan, Westermier, and Schneggerburgerg and the great humorists, Pappalardo and Sweeney. Jim Kelly accepts with pleasure the title ask-me-another, willed by Schnitter. Hammel resigns himself to the fate of hearing his native town maligned, but he has companions in misery in Neubecker of Williamsville, In conclusion we wish to proclaim that in addition to the months July and August, during which school will be dismissed in honor of the Senior class. we, the Junior class of '27, do declare that hereafter all classes will be dismissed every Saturday and Sunday of the -School year in our honor. Signed 'Class of '28. y tivo