St Johnsbury Academy - Lamp Yearbook (St Johnsbury, VT)

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JUNE 1948 Rowena Bennett, Hildegarde Bedor, Marion Clark, and Mary Abbott are telephone operators in the Podunk Hollow District. They are planning a trip to Europe and hope to introduce a telephoneless telephone system there. As a result of a sad love affair. Connie Hackett has decided to remain a spinster. Donald Blodgett has married Janet Moore and taken his wife to live on Mount Washington. Marion Butler is running the paper mill in Gilman singlehanded. Gwendolyn Watts led the recent revolt in India against the dictator government set up by Theresa Guyer. Miss Watts declared Miss Guyer was illegal and unjust. Miss Guyer was unavailable for statement. Joyce McAllister was head chorus girl at the Latin Half. She has created a new tap routine called “Am I Loaded”, with the assistance of Jackie Roach, who insists that Katherine Shores really created the routine. At this writing, Miss McAllister and Miss Shores have taken the matter to court. Margaret Skinner, secretary to Miss Shores, who, by the way, has just returned from a vacation to the Caribbean region, swears that Katherine had nothing to do with the creation of “Am I Loaded”. Miss Skinner pins the blame on Betty Urie, who has mysteriously disappeared. Perhaps Miss Urie has been the guilty person all along. In two months the court decision will be known. However, Miss McAllister has lost her job at the Latin Half. Lucille Cushman, famed as seamstress all over the world, is making all the clothes for foreign weddings. At present she is working on the clothes for the marriage of Madelene LeBlanc to the Prince of Rumania. The Prince is having to abdicate to marry the woman he loves, but nevertheless Miss Cushman has agreed to make the finery. Betty McFarlin is raising sheep dogs on a ranch in Paraguay. Richard Gero and Doris Provost are co-editors of the Goss Hollow Gazette, a gossip sheet missing none of the scandals of the neighboring towns. Margie Dow, Arlene Pollock. Eleanor Carroll, and Barb Thayer have left on a husband-hunting expedition to Siberia. They hope to meet Stalin and plan to persuade him to shave off his mustache. Jody Pillsbury counted on going with the expedition but she hated, to leave her lucrative position as president of the National Date Bureau in Montpelier. Her motto: You select them—we’ll get them. Neil Hall has been driven to drink by the women and is taking a rest cure at the Beauvue. Joyce Goss is painting his portrait at the present time. She hopes it may be hung in the Fairbanks Museum. Carolyn McLaren is raising prize-winning corn in Mclndoes. Erma Guy is assisting her. Robert Johnson is the end man in the minstrel show in which Grace Jacobs does impersonations of A1 Jolson. Lorraine Plant, drama critic for the New York Times, says the show is the best thing this side of Passumpsic. Betty Ash, Alberta Ash, Irene Gervais. and Helen Drew are teaching the natives in Samoa the Gregg shorthand system. No luck as yet. Alice Babcock has invented, in collaboration with Betty Lou Petty, a new lipstick. They are to be presented the Nobel Cosmetic Prize later this month for fine work in the field of How to Get Your Man—and Keep Him. 27

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THE ACADEMY STUDENT Jeanne Rice has been recently elected president of the League of Women Voters with headquarters in New York. This makes the first er-mont woman ever to receive this honor. Phyllis Gaffney has invented synthetic chewing gum which saves wear and tear on her facial expression. John Stetson has had a successful career as owner and manager of “Step-In and Stew with Stetson” Tavern, on the road to Wheelock. Cliff L’Heureux, the genial bartender, sends his fourteen sons to St. J. A. Dottie Stillman is employed as hash slinger. Fred Larsen is acting as short-order cook since Hilda Davis was fired for loafing on the job. Dick Flanders recently obtained a divorce from his wife, Bev Hoar, after many years of married life. Cause of the breakup was Mary Lee Bedor, torch singer with a band in Sutton. Eddy Langlois, John LaCroix, and George Plouffe run a taxi service to Lyndonville. Mary Helen Aiken is their best customer, with Marion Mann running a close second. Nurses Albiser and Magill are caring for the natives in Madagascar, Albiser giving them manicures, and Magill acting as drum majorette, Calypso style. Henry Belanger is thrilling the civilized world with his portrayal of Hamlet wearing red velvet. Playing opposite him as Ophelia is D’Anne Blow, who has just returned from a twelve-week tour in New Zealand. Her husband. Donald Johnson, who accompanied her, says the fishing is fine in New Zealand. During the past year, the Vitty Half-Shot Potshots have been playing one-night stands in Hawaii. They have been especially featured at Bailey’s Casino in Honolulu. Deland Vitty, maestro, is featured on the baritone horn. Donnie Sheffield, after being expelled from the Dental Association of America for refusal to comply with existing rules and regulations, has consented to join the Potshots. Bobby Drew, clarinet star, is also a member of this aggregation. Janet Silsby and June Drown have also been persuaded to join the group. They had been touring the States playing clarinet and trumpet duets. Other members of the Potshots are Richard Peterson playing the bass horn, and that scintillating drum trio, Litvich. Hamilton, and Carr. Miss Litvich dances, and Miss Hamilton sings “Slap 'er Down Again, Maw”, while Carr accompanies them on the drums. The Vitty Half-Shot Potshots have been acclaimed all over the supernatural world. Alexis Clouatre has invented a new shoe polish guaranteed to stay on and on and on....... Barbara George, the brilliant young cinemactress, appeared only last week in an unexpurgated version of “Charley’s Aunt”. They say she plans next year to produce and act in one of the newer plays on Broadway, “Charley’s Other Wife”, written by the promising playwright, Roger Donna. Donna and his wife, Beverly (nee Wilkins) are vacationing at Miami Beach with Vivian Daniels and Theresa Roy joining them at a later date. Miss Daniels is the editor of that stupid magazine for stupid people, “Stupe”, while Miss Roy is the authoress of several books, chief of which is “Life in the Raw”, or “How Did I Ever Get This Way?” 26

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T11E AC AI )EMY ST LT DENT William Smart and Jimmy Daniels are supplying the whole of the Western Hemisphere with fine skunk pelts; grown on their skunk farm in Lyndon Corners, just opposite the LaPoint and Dodge Brewery Company where the best and only the best beer is brewed, known internationally as Two Feathers and a Rose. Betty Bolton, Chief Problem Solver in two hemispheres, has been proclaimed by leading scientists the female Einstein. Not only has she time for problems in the organic world, but she also has time for problems in the inorganic world. Miss Bolton recently married William Rodd, the famous track star of today, who has found a way to run faster than anyone has ever run before. (It is our private opinion that for once he didn’t run fast enough.) Barbara Brewer recently won the Jitterbug Contest in the state of Vermont for her fine footwork. She has been running dance in Danville for the past six months, ably assisted by Dorothy Bruce, Waltz Queen of New York State. Bouncer Brodien keeps the Danville dances clean. Francis Boutett has perfected a way of dissecting animals without bisecting. For this achievement he has been awarded the Clay Hill Prize in biology from the Howard Eastman Foundation. The late Howard Eastman who established this fund gave his life with the French Foreign Legion during the battle over King Tut’s harem. Mac MacDonald, four years All-American Quarterback at Granby Tech, lias become a contortionist. This is due to his superior ability to run around his own end in good old Tech days. Patricia Hamilton Katherine Shores P.S. Any significance in these predictions is purely intentional. 28