St Johns High School - Torch Yearbook (Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada)

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HONORABLE MENTION RENDEZVOUS AT INFINITY The advent of the atomic bomb has started all sorts of people prophesying that we shall all be blown to eternity. Eternity means un¬ limited time. In contrast infinity means simply unlimited, time and space. If we went to one we would no doubt go to the other. Up and coming young scientists like ourselves would buy the double ticket just for the curiosity of seeing the place. I argue that the trip is impossible, but let us attempt it and discover if such an extended journey is impossible. Let us borrow an atomic bomb from our benevolent government and set it off in my back yard with all those desiring to take the trip gathered, around. I shall assume that the majority of passengers starting for infinity unlimited would go in parallel lines since they would be impelled either straight up, or down, as the case may be. Also, since the travellers are motivated by re¬ leased atomic energy, I assume they would be travelling at speeds approaching the speed of light (186,300 miles per second), because upon the explosion of an atomic bomb, everything is dissipated into light. Therefore let us extract the electrons, from our bodies, label them so we may put the correct number in the correct places upon arrival, and send them off at the speed of light. The protons and neutrons would slow down to approximately 150,000 miles per second, due to friction in the atmosphere. We (the protons and neutrons) are now on our way to infinity travelling along parallel lines relatively close to each other. The back seat driver reminds us not to get whipped by the tail of that comet, although it has only one, not nine, and to wave hello to some electron and positron acquaintances resting between Castor and Pollux. After travelling for 9, followed by the zeros on ticker tape produced from several forests, years, watching our parallel courses cross and almost collide just at the entrance to minus infinity we have arrived home. We come in for a gentle landing on eartl , Inertia’s ticket had completely expired beoam a of friction in spaces so full of magnetic lines f force, that they attracted a cloud of wanderir ? nickel and cobalt molecules. Our electrons r - turned safely 51,652 years ago and we must no pay the wholesale rate of $4.95 (regular $5.0() a year for a safety deposit vault in which the were stored. This would impoverish us if v, a had not left our last week’s allowance (5c) i l the bank before we left. The compound intere t has made our fortunes. Like all travellers we like to meet our frienc ; again so we sink a shaft through the debr:; above the cemetery and descend to see then . We don’t dig the shaft of course but merel • have a rocket ship take off from the spot chose i for excavation. The blast forms a perfect! ■ symmetrical hole of the right depth, even fusin ; the silicon around the edge so we will not b troubled with shoring. Why they haven’t changed a bit, but to ou consternation they inform us that we didn’t g to infinity or even eternity. They say that upo our departure we would have begun to sprea in a cone. This is deduced from the fact tha the intensity of light and the volume of soun vary inversely as the square of the distance, am being loose matter we probably would have gon the same way. We find that we are not her but are spread thinly over the face of the uni verse. Not so thinly either for according to Ein stein’s relativity correction for mass: Mo M = - (v)= 1 —(—) ( c ) M = the mass of the body in motion. Mo = the mass of the body at rest. v = the velocity of the body. c = the speed of light. It is intuitively obvious from this equation that when “v” approaches the speed of light the denominator will be 0. When the denominator Page-Eighty-two

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HONORABLE MENTION HOW TO RITE AN ESSAY? many piple ca’nt rite essase!” so i vill give you som fondmentals Dere are too diffrent kind essase; De first is de formal soch as dis one . . . de next is informal:—Ven riting a formal essay de riter mus be akvainted mit de sobject; becos he most axpiain it to de reeder’s? in de informal essay de riter try’s to make de reeder laff soch an essay is not for adducated piple. Ven is de best time to rite an essay! some pipple like to rite essase at nite? for me de best time is in de morning at 6: a clock P.M. Bot you most alvays remamber dat no matter ven you rite de essay, you shud be tinking abot it all day—-ven broshing de teeth in de morning; ven eeting sand-vitches at noon; ven vaiting for a strit car at nite, All de time you shud be tinking abot your essay, Before riting an essay you shud be having a topic. choose your topic frum your intrests; differ¬ ent piple hev different intrests—Meenee likes kooking so she rites abot how to make blintzes. Jeam likes roller skatink, so he rites abot hocky. So meny tinks you can rite abot, fer example; de sonset; de moonshine: do ve com from de apes? Tennyson, Woods wort, end Brownstone; mine oncle’s restarant: will plese be eaternal? Odder axemples i could givink bot is no space. After you are having a tipic, tink abot wat you got to saye (den put a roff idea on paper) reed over de article end korrect all de grema- ticle mistakes end mispallings woch aspashally de spalling. Two meny piple go tru skool midout lerning how to spal, many times. In essase is no paragrafsldese is very bad arror, odder times is modifriers misplased, modi- friers shud be alvays in de same sentens as de vord modifried. Ponctuation is getting many piple in truble, efen me is sometimes getting mixed op: Also a paragraf got too hav younity, amfasis; end coherens, i vill give u an axplanation of younity—“ven in one side of de paragraf your’e saying one tink end in de odder an odder tink den der is no younity; Choherens is meaning dat every-one can on- derstand it’ even tickers, alvays; ven riting an essay never repete yourself; dis vay you vill improff de coherens. Next amfasis:—dees ees not for bigeeners. ’If you are obaying dese rules you vill be having a good essay, “if any reeder vants to kno, wot rite I’m got to rite soch a essay, I’m tailing him: for tvelf ears i’m teeching Anglish in Roshia, end if I don’ gno any Anglish, who ken,)( )(. by Amram Oilk. , Moses Dimentberg, XII-29. Page Eighty-one

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is 0 the mass is infinite. We have now filled the universe or infinity with our insignificant bodies. However, if our mass became infinite at the moment we attained a speed approaching the speed of light, part of our mass would reach infinity instantly. At this point, although our mass is infinite my calculations show that it seems to be light. Therefore the mass is zero. We would return by minus infinity in a neg¬ ligible space of time with our mass increased just enough to be ourselves. Since we travelled practically instanteously, we certainly could not have gone to eternity which is unlimited time. Infinity is unlimited time as well as space, so we could not have been there either. This conclusively proves that no atom bomb or any other destructive instrument could blow us to eternity. Ross Henderson, XII-29.