St Johns College - Yearbook (Annapolis, MD)

Page 195 text:

Q-+L l 4 3 . I V . 12 V. l. L. 1 l l l , s !. 1 ? . x Q. ' z Q 1. l f F U I l e Q g, l l 1 l. l l 4 I I 1 I i 1 I 1 5 i l incidentally pay ,a few prolonged visits to the State penitentiary, yet it is not impossible that he may pass peacefully over the river amid the sorrowful tears of his .Sunday-school class. A man may begin life by passing across the bar the worst concoctions ever produced, and yet, after having made a fortune in the wholesale liquor business, become one of the greatest exponents of tem- perance that ever graced a platform. But when he becomes so void of discretion as to purpose in his mind that he will undertake the study of Dutch, the Dar- winian Theory of Evolution, i. e., that man is descended from a monkey, or more probably from an ass, is certainly proven. He may already have plucked from the lower branches of the tree of knowledge a few plums such as Greek, Logic and Calculus, but he should have noticed that Dutch is of the fruits that grow only upon the topmost branches, and it takes more than a brickbat to bring it down. Blinded by the knowledge of what he has done, he asserts, Verily will I roll up my sleeves and jump upon 'Dutchi with both feet, and of a truth when I am through, it will look like the traditional dollar from which 70 cents has been extracted. For a time, my son, this benighted individual may stumble along the stony path, and may even knock 4.50 and 5.oo by the timely assistance of some careful 'fponying' in his book. But there comes a time of reckoning. He goeth into examination with a happy heart and a step as light as if he were rushing the growler, but when he cometh out, his countenance hath a careworn and vacant expression, and his general appearance is like unto that of a rotten pumpkin upon which a ton of brick has accidentally been dropped. It is not neces- sary to inquire if he has flunked. Leave him alone to the tender mercies of an accusing conscience. H A Truly the way of the HDutch student is hard and full of trouble. When you are reading that 'fsublimen creation Die VVacht am Rhein,', does it picture to you the beautiful blue Rhine, with its patriotic associations, dear to the heart of every true son of the Fatherland? Not much. It sounds very nice when played by the little 'German band, but for heaven's sake cut it outl' in classroom. When Mr. Wni. Tell shoots the apple from his son's head are you trembling for fear he will miss it? Decidedly no. You don't care whether he hits the apple or smashes the boy in the solar plexus. As you are perambulating slowly and p-ainfully over Luther's Ein, feste Burg ist unser Gottf' does it recall the time when you, an in- nocent little boy, attended Sunday-school and mingled your childish voice in the familiar hymns? Nit. You are swearing inwardly and committing Martin Luther and every other Dutchman to an extremely warm climate. My son, you who are at the parting of the ways, consider well before you go on. lf you fall, great will be the fall thereof, and it is not necessary that the ISI

Page 197 text:

A'----V-W ,-:V-.f-,ng--37,7 ., ' i And it wouldn't require many Maryland legislators long to find out that there is nozfhmg in the book. But if we wish to consider the work from an economical standpoint it would be appropriate to mention that the value in the book is 31.12. The diction is rotten, the subject-matter is Robin Hoodiiied. The meaning of C A every paragraph is supposed to be forthcoming in the next mail. Somebody told us that the author says in this book that the only thing necessary to become a law- ig. yer is persuasive power. But we can prove by logic that it is necessary to be a liar. x f This book is intended to drive students to suicide and to jail. In one place ik 13 A the author tries to fool people by saying, There are two main kinds or argumventa- tion, that which is written and that which is not spoken, or in other words, that Q which is not any good and that which is no good. The latter is now practiced in modern courts. The author skillfully avoids mention of the power of money in tg' courts, and in all convictions. . The book has no purpose. The object for writing the book is the eighth li wonder of creation. The book suits hard-worked students for three reasons : 1 First, it offers one hour of rest per week. Second, the instructor canlt require a pupil to answer his queries according 3 A . to the text book Qunless he is 14.011 compos mentiaj 5 Third, it elaborates upon the different kinds of confusion, contradiction, met- amorphism and general climatic conditions of balled-upi' briefs. About half way between the lids of the book theauthor tells why one man 1 doubts another man's word. We doubt his reason, for a syllogism which contains A as a premise the conclusion of another syllogism, is called an episyllogism. He also says the evidence of a bowlegged man who drinks common whiskey should not and cannot be relied upon. V The plan of the whole book is a fake, and we recommend it as an admirable bunch of nothingness. Generally speaking, and also thinking, the book is surely 'l it on the bumf' Q25 Q25 Whitney's French Grammar A model tongue-twister. Giving not only all one wants to know about the E language but besides all that one does not want to know. It has all the essential li ' , . . . . 9 qualities of a text book of the day, namely, tiresomeness, ambiguity, wordiness and 'AT size. But it is a genuine side-splitter, and the humor of the irregular verbs is attractive and sparkling throughout. 183 gn.,