St Johns College - Yearbook (Annapolis, MD)

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That done, I went back to teach Iflipps how to box. I never cared much for actual boxing, as I always found that, while the other 1112111 might be the veriest tyro in the art of self-defense, yet out of his very awkwardness his fists and arms were never where they should be at that par- ticular time. I had, however, in my youth carefully pe- rused, and still preserved, a book entitled, I-Iow to Box, one of those yellow-backed, ten-cent books, the series of which is a veritable encyclopaedia, among its com- panions in the series being I-Iow to Cook, How to Build and Sail Doatsf, I-Iow to Camp Out,', I-Iow to Train Elephants, and a number of others containing just such useful information. This book I now got out, repaired to a vacant room on the same floor and pro- ceeded to teach Flipps all about the science of boxing.. ' First I showed him how to hold his guard. I-Ie held it perfectly, th e only trouble being ' t h a t he held it all g th e time. I-Ie w a s too easy 5 as long as he held that guard I c o u l cl p e p p e r As long ns he held that guard I could pepper hiui all over. I him all over. The book told just l1ow to hit a man when he held his guard that way, and I found after awhile that I could hit him where I wanted, even without the book. Getting tired of such mild sport, I told him that he need not think he was a cigar-store Indian, but must do some lighting himself. I-Ie said all right, and I went off to my book and found a very valuable blow called a left- hand lead at the head. I came back, took my position, carefully measured the distance, and told Flipps that when I went to hit him he must keep the blow off and hit back. I carefully led according to instructions, but it didn't quite reach him. I-Ie came down on my left arm with a blow that nearly disclocated my elbow, and came back at me with both fists. Not having time to look at my book for the proper defenses to such a mode of warfare, and overcome by his awkwardness and superior weight, I shortly afterward found myself down in the corner, with him tramping on me. Time ! I yelled, a11d he stopped. Picking myself up, I looked at him scornfully and said : You must think you're a threshing machine, donit' you ? I didn't come in here to get internally injured g I came here to teach you to box. Now, after this, you just keep my blows off, and don't hit me any more, or I'1l stop teaching you. All right, said Iflipps, submissively. For four or Hve hours we went on practicing. At first I easily demonstrated that science would tell as I rained blow after blow on him, and he didn't ward off one out of a dozen. But finally he got much better, and I had a very hard time to hit him, so both being pretty well used up with our unusual exertions we stopped. Then I

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Can you shoot ? Shoot who P Shoot anything-pistols, guns, mortars, cannons, Gatling guns, cat rifles - anything ? I can shoot a bow and arrow. Get out ! next thing you'll be wanting to scalp some- body. Can you shoot a pistol P H N037 All right. Can you fence ? I should say I can 3 I put up ten panels in one day last vacation. XVhy, I'm the greatest fencer in Aim Arandel. Now, look here, said I, dropping into Junior gram- mar, this ain't a wild west Indian show, and it ain't a farmers' picnic. I want to know if you can fight, and if you can fight, what you ca11 fight with. No, I can't fight. Then what did you want to get in a duel for P I didn't want to get in a duel. I didn't throw any bread. Parson I-Iurst must have done it. NVell, nobody's going to risk their eternal soul by fighting a preacher, and you've got to uphold the class dignity. Class hasn't got any dignity. . ' Class hasn't got any dignity l ' Why look at Reg- ister, look at Parson Hurst, look at Daniels, and finally, look at me, said I, drawing myself up, imposingly. Well, if you think you've got so much dignity, why don't you fight for it yourself P Now do11't get funny about it : I can't fight because I wasn't challenged. I! I Ill get him to change it, and challenge you. Iilipps, you don't know any more about a question of honor than a monkey. Who ever heard of anybody changing a challenge P You're in for a fight 3 you've got to fight, and the only question is how you're going to tight. Can you box ? H Noll! Then I'll teach you. VVhen ? Right 11ow. But first we must answer this challenge. Upon the strength of our determination, I sat down and with great care and much thought, wrote the follow- ing letter : MR. IKE WIER : Sir :-I have received from you a scrawl which I suppose was meant to be a dignified epistle. From all I can gather from the doggcrel, I take it to be a challenge to fight. Out of respect for your weak eyes, an affliction with which kittens and puppy- dogs are accustomed to suffer, I have chosen fists as the weapons, -and I will be careful to place them where you can see them. The place I have chosen is the Government Farm, and the time six o'clock tomorrow morning. I am sir, without respect, yours for gore, BILL Fr,1r'Ps. After Flipps had carefully copied this letter, I took it to Wier in person. From him I learned that Vic Torbert, now the dignified editor of The Cecil Times or some other newspaper, was to be his second. I saw Vic and arranged all the preliminaries, making our manner of departure for the field of battle one which would not result in our capture by the police, of whom we stood in great awe.

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taught him what l considered the finest thing in the book- getting a man in chancery. Now, l'lipps, I said, when he ducks and gets in close, catch him around the neck with your left arm and pound his face with your right fist. I'll holler at you to quit, as it's against the rules, but don't you mind me. The more I holler the more you pummel him. Then Torbert will pull you off, but don't stop pounding him until you have to.', Flipps thought that was a Fine scheme, but as I would not give him a chance to practice it, we turned in for the night to dream over our early victory of the morrow. Morning came and it was cold and drizzly. I carefully rubbed Flipps down with vaseline, to make him supple, I told him 5 put the Parson's sweater on him, bundled him. up, and then we started off as had been agreed before- hand. Arriving at the scene of the hostilities to come, we waited for Ike and Vic. Pretty latef, I said, looking at my watch, which was about two minutes after six. Maybe they won't come, said Flipps. Ten minutes went by, while I questioned Flipps on all the mysteries of left-hand leads at the head, left-hand body blows. right-hand upper-cuts, etc., and their various defenses. Still they didn't come. Believe they're afraid, said Flipps, sarcastically. Iiive minutes more. Sorry I took the trouble to come all the way out 160 here, said lilipps. 'I'hey'1'e afraid to come, scared off. Five minutes more. I wish he would come. .l.'d give him the worst licking he ever had in his life, continued Iflipps. 'lust then I spied our opponents sneaking along between the evergreens and trees so as to escape the eyes of the vigilant police of Annapolis, then about two miles off and presumably asleep. I pointed them out to Iflipps. lVonder if he'll apologize F 5' said Flipps. i Naw ! said I . VVonder if he'd accept an apology P he continued. Naw ! said I again. Wfier and his second arriving, both having overslept themselves, we tossed up a button for position, and Iilipps got the advantage, which would have been considerable had he kept it. In point of weight and height, when standing in sweat- ers and trousers, Flipps seemed to have much the better of it. Wie1', while well built, didn't look particularly tough or muscular, while Flipps looked like a rugged oak. If Torbert had been game, I would have lost my allowance for the next six months then and there, but he wasn't. Facing each other, VVier held a nondescript sort of a guard, easily and loosely, while Iflipps could have been taken for the man who wrote I-Iow to Box. The rounds were to be three minutes each, and I was time- keeper.