St Johns College - Yearbook (Annapolis, MD)

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Can you shoot ? Shoot who P Shoot anything-pistols, guns, mortars, cannons, Gatling guns, cat rifles - anything ? I can shoot a bow and arrow. Get out ! next thing you'll be wanting to scalp some- body. Can you shoot a pistol P H N037 All right. Can you fence ? I should say I can 3 I put up ten panels in one day last vacation. XVhy, I'm the greatest fencer in Aim Arandel. Now, look here, said I, dropping into Junior gram- mar, this ain't a wild west Indian show, and it ain't a farmers' picnic. I want to know if you can fight, and if you can fight, what you ca11 fight with. No, I can't fight. Then what did you want to get in a duel for P I didn't want to get in a duel. I didn't throw any bread. Parson I-Iurst must have done it. NVell, nobody's going to risk their eternal soul by fighting a preacher, and you've got to uphold the class dignity. Class hasn't got any dignity. . ' Class hasn't got any dignity l ' Why look at Reg- ister, look at Parson Hurst, look at Daniels, and finally, look at me, said I, drawing myself up, imposingly. Well, if you think you've got so much dignity, why don't you fight for it yourself P Now do11't get funny about it : I can't fight because I wasn't challenged. I! I Ill get him to change it, and challenge you. Iilipps, you don't know any more about a question of honor than a monkey. Who ever heard of anybody changing a challenge P You're in for a fight 3 you've got to fight, and the only question is how you're going to tight. Can you box ? H Noll! Then I'll teach you. VVhen ? Right 11ow. But first we must answer this challenge. Upon the strength of our determination, I sat down and with great care and much thought, wrote the follow- ing letter : MR. IKE WIER : Sir :-I have received from you a scrawl which I suppose was meant to be a dignified epistle. From all I can gather from the doggcrel, I take it to be a challenge to fight. Out of respect for your weak eyes, an affliction with which kittens and puppy- dogs are accustomed to suffer, I have chosen fists as the weapons, -and I will be careful to place them where you can see them. The place I have chosen is the Government Farm, and the time six o'clock tomorrow morning. I am sir, without respect, yours for gore, BILL Fr,1r'Ps. After Flipps had carefully copied this letter, I took it to Wier in person. From him I learned that Vic Torbert, now the dignified editor of The Cecil Times or some other newspaper, was to be his second. I saw Vic and arranged all the preliminaries, making our manner of departure for the field of battle one which would not result in our capture by the police, of whom we stood in great awe.

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as to some of the circumstances. Suffice it to say that after his escape we could never induce Flipps to spend another night with us in Pinkney Hall. He preferred the safety and seclusion of his country residence. ,But later in the year, under the stress of circumstances, he did spend a few days with us 5 and this is how it hap- pened. During 1ny Senior year- lflipps then being a Senior and Ike Wier a Junior- Flipps was accustomed to take his midday meal with the rest of the students in the Col- lege mess-room in Humphrey Hall. At that time the boys had gotten into a very disagreeable habit of rolling up the soft parts of a slice of bread or a roll and throwing them across the hall at one another, a habit of which I always disapproved, and spoke my disapproval in em- phatic tones. So emphatic, in fact, were my objections, and so often reiterated that when it came to a question of whether Parson Hurst or I had thrown such a mis- sile, it was always believed that the Parson had done it, and only his cloth saved him from dire and speedy retalia- tion. At any rate, one day someone from our table threw a large roll of sodden bread at the juniors' table, and unfortunately it hit Ike Wier in his eye, or rather it would have done so had it not been for the fact that his eyes were protected by a very valuable pair of gold-rimmed spectacles. Ike was at the time composing a soliloquy to rival Hamletls, beginning To be or not to be, pre- paratory to partaking of the dessert in front of him, and naturally was very much provoked. To cut the matter short, the size, force and direction of the projectile were duly considered, and it was traced conclusively to our I table, and from that to Flipps, the Parson or myself. That I could have thrown it was out of the question 5 the Parson denied it, and it was known to be against Flipps' principles to throw anything to eat away. In face of the presumption of innocence arising from the latter charac- teristic, however, the juniors decided - most unjustly, I have reason to believe- that lflipps had thrown it, and being in a large majority, as well as puffed up with a sense of their dignity, they decided also that the honor of their class must be vindicated. The upshot of the matter was that Iilipps came to me that afternoon with a formal challenge to fight a duel, the challenger being Ike WVier, and the option being given Flipps to choose the weapons. .l have lost the original challenge, but lke never lost an opportunity to put his thoughts in rhyme, and, if my memory serves me aright, it ran about this way 1 To MR. BILL FLll'1'S : The man with thick lips. As you very well know, you threw at me dough. 1 must have amends. and the writer intends to fill you with holes for throwing old rolls. As is always the case, the time and the place are left to your choice: my own I'll not voice. The weapons, likewise. I care not to name: but I've short-sighted eyes- please remember the same. As you're bound to get licked. bring with you your bier. I am not with respect, your truly. IKE WIER. Upon a careful scrutiny of this epistle, I told Flipps that I considered it highly insulting, and that the only thing to do was to accept the challenge. The question then became what weapons were to be chosen, and the following dialogue ensued :

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That done, I went back to teach Iflipps how to box. I never cared much for actual boxing, as I always found that, while the other 1112111 might be the veriest tyro in the art of self-defense, yet out of his very awkwardness his fists and arms were never where they should be at that par- ticular time. I had, however, in my youth carefully pe- rused, and still preserved, a book entitled, I-Iow to Box, one of those yellow-backed, ten-cent books, the series of which is a veritable encyclopaedia, among its com- panions in the series being I-Iow to Cook, How to Build and Sail Doatsf, I-Iow to Camp Out,', I-Iow to Train Elephants, and a number of others containing just such useful information. This book I now got out, repaired to a vacant room on the same floor and pro- ceeded to teach Flipps all about the science of boxing.. ' First I showed him how to hold his guard. I-Ie held it perfectly, th e only trouble being ' t h a t he held it all g th e time. I-Ie w a s too easy 5 as long as he held that guard I c o u l cl p e p p e r As long ns he held that guard I could pepper hiui all over. I him all over. The book told just l1ow to hit a man when he held his guard that way, and I found after awhile that I could hit him where I wanted, even without the book. Getting tired of such mild sport, I told him that he need not think he was a cigar-store Indian, but must do some lighting himself. I-Ie said all right, and I went off to my book and found a very valuable blow called a left- hand lead at the head. I came back, took my position, carefully measured the distance, and told Flipps that when I went to hit him he must keep the blow off and hit back. I carefully led according to instructions, but it didn't quite reach him. I-Ie came down on my left arm with a blow that nearly disclocated my elbow, and came back at me with both fists. Not having time to look at my book for the proper defenses to such a mode of warfare, and overcome by his awkwardness and superior weight, I shortly afterward found myself down in the corner, with him tramping on me. Time ! I yelled, a11d he stopped. Picking myself up, I looked at him scornfully and said : You must think you're a threshing machine, donit' you ? I didn't come in here to get internally injured g I came here to teach you to box. Now, after this, you just keep my blows off, and don't hit me any more, or I'1l stop teaching you. All right, said Iflipps, submissively. For four or Hve hours we went on practicing. At first I easily demonstrated that science would tell as I rained blow after blow on him, and he didn't ward off one out of a dozen. But finally he got much better, and I had a very hard time to hit him, so both being pretty well used up with our unusual exertions we stopped. Then I