St Ignatius High School - Ignatian Yearbook (Cleveland, OH)

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Harvey 21 Left Kevin Sexton demands his cab fare from Denise Somsak. Below Denise Somsak pleads to Judge Chris Kelly. Get Elwood committed.” Little did she know that she was the one to be committed. Above: Dr. Mark Haas explains to intern Matt Seeley about the essence of psychoanalysis. Elwood is nuts.” Left: Director Joe Ondus. S.J.. signs a couple autographs for an exlracredit-seeking fan. Joe takes 'em any way he can.

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MY LIFE AS A HARE Okay, so I had buck teeth, big ears, and more hair than most. Right Joe Vavpetic, Matt Seeley, and John Beeker philosophize about life. man. and the American rabbit. s I finished my speech and looked out into the audience for approval. I just saw a man rubbing his face in his hands, and gently weeping. Mr. Joe Ondus, S.J. looked up at me. and in a low. guttural tone, said Let's do it ONE MORE TIME. All right. I said irritatedly. Indeed, practice was getting to us. Yes. we were one day away from opening night, but when Mr. Ondus started yelling at me for not being serious enough onstage. I knew it had gone a little too far. What did he want from me. anyway? As I moved backstage with Joe Vavpetic. I asked him if he’d like to go out and get some ruffage. He didn't even look at me. Good actor, but I think he must be partially deaf. He probably wanted to get home before dawn, anyway. and he had to leave now. The scary thing about him. though, is that he's just about as naive and good-natured as his character. Whoa. Nellie! I said as Mark Haas nearly ran me down trying to get onstage, but he didn't even turn around and smile at me. Then again, what should I expect? He had treated me like dirt for the entire production. But that didn't make me feel any better. First he had beaten me out for that ballboy job. and now this. I saw John Beeker trying to entertain Roseanne Mucklo and Denise Klein in the corner. Hmmm. One guy. Two girls. Good ratio. I thought. Now's the time to make my move. So I sauntered over to them and said my opening line coolly. They just sat there and smiled. Biph put his arm around my shoulder. At the moment. I thought they were simply awed by my presence, but when they picked up the conversation with Biph again. I just left. So I went downstairs to talk with the old reliable, the stage crew. They had always accepted me. but then again, they weren't sober most of the time I visited with them. But it was somewhere. Well. I tried. I tried to be friends with the cast, but they just didn't seem to care. Okay, so I had buck teeth, big ears, and more hair than most, but I was the star of the play, afterall. 20 A Day In the Life

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BOV U Just draw in your notebook and act like you’re taking notes. t's 12:10 p.m. Half the class is comatose; the other half is dead. Another pupil collapses as the teacher lectures on about the speed of electrons. There are only 55 more minutes of Honors Physics. Suicide looks like a very nice alternative right now. But wait! There is another way out of class boredom. It's not drooling, sleeping, or hurling paper wads at the kid across the room. (Although those are quite acceptable.) It's something called sketches of teachers. You know, those uncensored doodles of your favorite teachers in various uncensored poses and positions. doing uncensored things. These sketches can be quite informal. Crude stick figure drawings are very popular, especially those with the appropriately enlarged anatomical parts (e.g. the nose or eyes). Or they can be quite elaborate, with exaggeration being the key to a good sketch. A good way to measure how boring a class is. is to examine the cartoons of the teacher. Almost always the teacher who is sketched with the most detail (you know, the kind with even the nasal hair showing) is the most boring. It is comforting to know that the teachers who are considered the most boring may be spawning future artists. Who knows, maybe another Pablo Picasso is taking chemistry right now. It also appears that as one progresses through school, he becomes more creative in sketching teachers. Freshmen can't even stay within the lines, let alone draw a good doodle. By the time those aspiring artists become seniors, however, they have no fear of drawing those malicious and perverted sketches. And they have mastered the art of caption-writing. As one doodler put it. I guess it's just fun to poke fun of those teachers that drive you crazy. How does one get started, you may ask. Well, just stick the point of the pen (preferably a felt tip) onto the paper and just flick it every which way. Keep your strokes long and hard, remembering always to stay within the lines. Start with the face and then the body. Your eyes should be last, but not least. Let your imagination be your only bounds. Draw like you have just been unchained from years of artistic repression. And remember, caricatures are best. Thomas F. Comerford, stroker extraordinaire, offers these fine words of advice. If you're bored and tired, don’t give up. Just draw in your notebook and act like you're taking notes. If you can't do that, just try to push it. There are some nevers to drawing sketches of teachers. Never let the teacher catch you doodling in class. Never color outside the lines. Never sketch in red ink. (It's too tacky!) and never ever say never again. 22 A Day in the Life