St Ignatius High School - Ignatian Yearbook (Cleveland, OH)

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The American Dream is topped with sauerkraut and stadium mustard. ff Right: Even Dmitrius has little clue as to the real ingredients of his 100% pure Vienna Beef franks. Nonetheless. Jim Lavin. eyeing cautiously his next and maybe final meal, orders two chilli dogs. The daily hot dog mecca drew students from all gustatory faiths away from cafeteria and Wendy's blahs. he American Constitution. People recognize it as one of the most important documents in the history of the world. But what they don't notice is that small stain, dear reader. No. it's not the tea or a rich hollendaise sauce. It's a blemish which scientists have identified as the product of a dog. a hot dog. Dammit, an American hot dog! And now ten scores later, as gala celebrations and annoying early-morning assemblies abound across this great land of ours, the hot dog vendor has been recognized as the most honorable of professions. Here, back at the ranch, our link to history is the Hot Dog Man. A man named Dmitrius. This veritable Santa Claus of Weiners has been hailed by critics as a contemporary master. This American Original is brought fresh daily to our campus. He not only brings hot dogs, but also a whole lot of lovin', carin', and free condiments. (We're adults now; we can say condiments.) Another facet of his contribution to the community is his gift of gab. One can always overhear his sharp wit and sparkling conversation when crossing the mall. Frequent phrases flow around the silver cart: Cold isn't it? ; More onions, por favor. ; and No more chilli. I have Phys. Ed. next period. But his life involves more than his little cart on Carroll. When not on the mall, he is off somewhere else wreaking havoc. Dmitrius. a man of many twists and turns, has a rigorous schedule of speaking engagements and frequent appearances on A.M. Cleveland. So as you lift your stout to toast the blessing of Liberty, remember those brave souls working in the hot dog industry. whose sweat has watered the flower of democracy. The American Dream is topped with sauerkraut and stadium mustard. ADDENDA: Since the writing of this article, Dmitrius has been awarded the highest honor a civilian hot dog vendor and condiment user can attain. In a recent ceremony held during the intermission of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductions, our hot dog man was knighted with a Polish Boy. Now he is to be addressed as Reverend Mister Franks. In attendance were such weiner luminaries as Oscar Meyer, various members of the Eckrich family, and Mike Love of the Beach Boys. After this proud moment, we caught up with Rev. Mr. Franks. I'd like to thank all the little people. It is only because I have stood on the shoulders of giants that I have seen so much. Ringo Starr, however, would not stop bothering us; he kept asking if we would interview him next. As the night faded into the small hours of the morning, the remnants of last night's carnage littered the room. And slumped over in the corner was the Reverend Mister himself, arm in arm with Ringo. both singing With a Little Help from My Friends for the umteenth time. Here we took our cue and left. 18 A Day in the Life

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Lower Left: Feverishly working on what appears to be his homework, this freshman composes his ticket to passing the spelling quiz. Unfortunately, he is booked on a one way trip to Deficiency City. Below: Condensing a semester's worth of history notes into a pen. this sophomore prepares for an exam. Good eyesight is often a prerequisite for success. Left: It's not up his sleeve, but this crafty senior has a thing or two on his tie. Items of apparel afforded students many discreet locations for study aids.

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Hot Dog Man 19