St Ignatius College - Ignatian Yearbook (San Francisco, CA)

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24 THE IGNATIAN Mrs. jones, however, belongs the glory but to Mr. Jones. It all came out at the club about two weeks later when Mr. Jones and Mr. Smith sat smoking a quiet cigar. Mellowed by the influence of some fine old silk-velvet Bourbon, Mr. Smith grew reminiscent. Jack, he began, did you folks hear the racket at my house the other night P Jack, being in at least a tolerant mood himself, replied that he remembered it very well though truth to tell, when once Orpheus wound his coils around him nothing short of a Chinese symphony could wake him. A thing of beauty is a joy forever unless it has a mother-in-law, continued Mr. Smith. Mr. Jones could hardly see how this feeble, unfounded, insidious false- hood was, in any way, connected with the previous remark, yet he listened patiently as Mr. Smith continued to say: My mother-in-law was paying us a visit. One night coming from the club, feeling a little lighthearted- you remember that night, Jack, I stumbled over the first step on my way upstairs. In a twinkling, dear mother-in-law was vigorously landing into me with a broom aided and abetted by her daughter. Be- tween the two of them they instilled in me a wholesome re- spect for amendments numbers I and II. I was in a rather. helpless condition and made no resistance. That was the iirst night. From that time on I pondered over some method that without hurting her feelings would convince Deborah's mother that our climate is not well suited to her. The other night-when you heard that infernal racket-saw the success of a little plan of mine. As I entered the house, I stumbled on the first step. I lay there playing 'possum. It worked to perfection. I could ,hear the itwo of them, awakened by the noise, debating ways and means. Their talk ended when my mother-in-law declared in that soft musical tone so character- istic of mother-in-laws, when speaking of their daughter's husband, that she would drive temperance into my soul. In 21 twitlkling they were on me, my mother-in-law carelessly Swinging a rolling pin and my wife brandishing a broom.

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mes af- was ious aus- l to ling, lf. e to unds il to .week i up and liout iewly lla! man F half re of midity fht a She 'OWIL door. i the most JUST GOSSIP 23 prized jelly and tapped lightly on Mrs. Smith's doors. The knock was answered, rather tardily, by Mrs. Smith herself. Glancing sharply at her dishevelled hair and eyes that showed traces of recent weeping, Mrs. Jones murmered sweetly, Good morning, dear. How well you look. With a further glance in the hope of finding signs of more strenuous chas- tisement, Mrs. jones continued, I brought some of my latest preserves, dear. I am sure Mr. Smith would like them? The last remark had the desired effect, for at the mention of her better half's name an ominous scowl passed over Mrs. Smith's tear-stained countenance. This was not lost on Mrs. Jones who stored it away for future elaboration. How kind of you to think of me, and so early in the morning. Won't you come in P said Mrs. Smith in a half-hearted, formal manner. Mrs. jones was not the least disturbed at the cold- ness of her reception. She, on the contrary, was determined not to be deprived of the pleasure of that most delightful of all woman's occupations, getting news. With curiosity at fever height she entered the parlor. VV hat followed will ever live in her memory. It took the experienced Mrs. Jones two hours to conclude her cross examination. At the end of that time she had learned-nothing. Mrs. Smith had parried with ready wit the deft strokes of her wily neighbor. De- spairing at last of drawing out Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Jones art- fully inquired about mother-in-law. Again she was balked. Mother-in-law was indisposed and sent her regrets. This and the evident signs of weeping were all that Mrs. Jones carried away with her. To say she was disappointed is putting it lightly. Balked of her coup d'etat just as she was gloating over her triumph and picturing her recital to the wide-eyed Mrs. Brown down the block, was gall and wormwood to her. FK Pk PIC all Pk 214 elf if The purpose of this narrative is to tell what really hap- pened on those two nights at Mrs. Smith's house. Not to

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TO MY MOTHER 25 This time, in the full strength of sobriety, I met their at- tack. Very shortly I had the broom and I used it. Don't you know, next morning mother-in-law complained of her rheum- atism, and blamed it on the weather. But I am afraid I hurt her feelings. The next morning a smile of triumph flitted across the countenance of Mrs. jones as she told the tale to Mrs. Brown and received her confidante's word that it would not be re- peated. Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones no longer smoke together at the club. Ulu Mg Mather By LOUIS S. BORELLO My love for thee was deep and strong, 'When as a child I heard thy song, That calmed my fears and lulled to sleep My childish heart-my love was deep! My love for thee is deeper now, Wihen cares have caused thy form to bow, And time has sprinkled with its snow Thy golden locks that shimmered so. When years have wrinkled thy dear brow- Mother, my love is deeper now! But when together we shall stand, Before God's throne in heaven's land, And share those joys beyond man's ken- My love shall be the deepest then!-