St Croix Falls High School - Sentinel Yearbook (St Croix Falls, WI)

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----THE SENT1NEL--- Jokes Hotel Porter-I have forgotten whether you Wanted to be called at six or seven. Voice from within-What time is it now? Porter-Eight oiclock, yer Honor. Multi Millions-Is your son home yet from college? Well Thye-I presume so. I havenit seen my car for a week. The Scot, goat of many an anecdote, occasionally turns the tables. Lord Alness in his autobiography tells about an English political meeting. One of the candidates Patriotically orated, 'LI have been born an Englishman, I have lived an Englishman, and I hope I shall die an En lishmanfl g From the back of the hall, in an unmistakable accent, came the question, L'Mon, hae ye no ambi- tion. Parson: Does you-all take this man fo' bettah or fo, worse?,' Bride: 'GLan' sake, Pa'son, how kin ah tell so soon?,' Coach Schlagenhauf: 'EWhy sure, we have football practice tonight. The ground's only frozen on topf, Kenneth Vold: Yes, but thatis where we land, on top! Mr. Sorensen, after an extensive period of research, has come to the conclusion that if all the students who sleep 'during classes were laid end to end, they would be much more comfortable. Miss Langemo: How would you punctuate this sentence: LA pretty girl, walking down the street, turned a corner just as I saw her'?', Steve R.: I would make a dash after herf, Wayne M.: I can tell you the score of the game before it startsf, Mr. C. Thomas: What is it?,7 Wayne M.: Nothing to nothing-before it starts. Miss Draxten: How is it that you have only written ten lines on 'Milk' and the others have written pages? Neal R.: HI wrote on Condensed Milk. Lost-A fountain pen by Donelly Greenlee half-full of ink. When is a fowlis neck like a bell? O, When it is rung for dinner. Housekeeper: HI ordered a dozen eggs today, Mr. Tate, and you only sent me ll. Grocer: Well, ma'am, you see, the 12th egg was bad, and I didn't think youid want it. Q. What goes all the way from here to the coast without moving? A. The railroad tracks. City Scout: I suppose you hatch all these chickens yourself?,' Farm Scout: a'Nope: we've got hens here to do thatf, Skippy was down on his knees beside his bed saying his prayers when a chunk of plaster fell on his head. Looking up with an injured expression, he said, uCome on Cod, this ain't no time for foolin'sl', Miss Balgie: If Columbus were alive today, wouldn't he be looked upon as a remarkable man?,' Jim: 4'l'll say he would! He'd be 500 years oldlv Miss Balgie: uWhat is the food factory of the world?,, Hugh T.: '4The Bakeryf, -63-

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---iTHE SENTINEL--1 Jokes Did your watch stop when it dropped on the floor? asked one man of his friend. Sure, was the answer, did you think it would go through? Lawyer fto colored prisonerl: Well, Ras, so you want mr to defend you? Rastus: No, but l'se got a mule and a few chickens and a hog or two. Lawyer: Those will do very nicely. Now let me see, what do they accuse you of stealing? Rastus: Oh, a mule and a few chickens, and a hog or two. Vold: It's scandalous to think they're going to charge you all that money for towing three or four miles. Greenlee: Never mind, I've got the brakes on.', Miss Langemo: '4What is meant by having a upull with the boss . Cordon: To be at war with the cow . Miss Langemo: What is a RABBl.,' Lawrence: '6It's a young rabbit. Mother: Freddy, Aunt Mary will never kiss you with that dirty face. Freddie: That's what I figuredf' Miss Draxten: This is a clever little confession story you've written but why did you name the man Adam? Neal R.: Well, you said you wanted it written in the first person. Where was your boy wounded? In the abdominal region, they told me. Where is that? Don't know-somewhere in France, I suppose. Johnny-Oh, Mother, a lady talked to me in the park and gave me some candy. Mother-That was nice. And what did you say? Johnny-Oh, I said I wished father had met her before he married you. What enlightens the world though dark itself? Ink. For Sale-Two highly bred cats. At home evenings. Traveling Man-Some tornado that was we had around here last night. Do any damage around to your new barn? Phlegmatic Farmer-Dunno. Hain't found the durn thing yet. Aunt Dorothy-dHow many Commandments are there Johnny? Johnny-Ten. Aunt Dorothy-Suppose you were to break one of them? Johnny-Then there would be nine. Son, what did you learn in school today? I learned that the arithmetic problems that you worked for me were wrong. Flatbush-Why do they have those cases with the axes, crowbars, and other implements in the passenger cars for? Besonhurst-Oh they put them there in case anyone wants to open a window. Aw I have such a dreadful cold in my head, said Algy. Well, answered his campanion, that is better than nothing. -57-

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--LTHE SENTINELl-1 Jokes Father, did you ever get licked when you were a boy ? Indeed I did. Well, then, what is the use of trying it on me? Mr. Hegre: What are some of the puzzling things about an atom? John Fast: Well, I donit know. That's one of them. Minister: Can you count, my little man? Roy P.: '6Yis, I c'n count. Minister: Well, let me hear how far you can count. Roy P.: One, two, three, four, faive, six siven, eight, naine, tin, ,lack Queen, Kingf, Judge: L'Cuilty or not guilty? Sam: 'LNot guilty, sub. Judge: Ever been arrested before? Sam: No, suh, Ah never speeded befoif' Doctor, canit you do something about my husband's talking in his sleep? It's all too indistinct. C. K. S.: My wife likes tea for breakfast, while l like coffeefi Rossow: You'll soon get used to teaf' I heard today that your son was an undertaker. Ithought you said he was a physician. Not at all sir. I said he followed the medical profession. My wife says that if I don't chuck golf she'll leave me. Hard Luck, old chap. Yes, I'll miss her. Folks,,' said the colored minister, the subject of my sermon this evenin' am gLiars'. How many in the congregation has done read the 69th chapter of Matthew? Nearly every hand in the audience was raised. 'tDat's rightf' said his reverend. You is just the folks I wants to preach to. Dere is no 69th chapter of Matthews. Speaking of unemployment, the average school pupil has 12,000,000 brain cells. It was terrible, Mrs. Murphy. There were seventeen Swedes and one Irishman killed in the wreck. Indade, the poor man. An interurban bus was recently struck by lightning. The lightning, we presume, was then hauled away for repairs. Donelly Greenlee: Mr. Rossow, did you ever hear a rabbit bark? Mr. Rossowz Rabbits do not barkfi Don: But, Mr. Rossow, my biology book says that rabbits eat cabbage and barkf' ' It was a Scotchman in the football stadium who jumped up and shouted, Hey, you there! Get that quarter back! Mr. Sorensen: What do you consider the greatest achievement of the Romans?,' Gene Pratt: 5'Speaking Latin. There's a young woman who makes little things count. What does she do?,' 'LTeaches arithmetic in the primary gradesf, Roy: f'I've got a railroad radiof' Jim: A railroad radio? Roy: '5Yeh, it whistles at every station. -69-