St Bernards School - Crusader Yearbook (Gladstone, NJ)

Page 21 text:

Governor Donald Van Etten appears in the open door-way, followed by the nationally- famous football coaches, Tingle and D'Apolito. Pandemonium broke loose only to be silenced by a loud speaker announcing, the debate begins in ten minutes. After the unscrambling of hands, Mr. Peter Nicholas Basilion interiected: All you fellows, will please do me the honor of being my guests, at my de luxe restaurant, tomorrow evening at eight o'clock. The place: Basilion House, Central Park. After each person agreed, the group dispersed, hurriedly seeking their seats in the great hall, leaving the two verbal gladiators a chance to collect their ideas. The Debate of the Century was a deadlock, with each protagonist talking himself hoarse. The audience left the Garden deeply stirred and as usual greatly divided in their opinions. Mr. Lien and his efficient satellites were on the iob and deftly removed from circulation at least two dozen of les agents provocateurs . Soon the crowd dis- appeared in the canyons of the Metropolis. ln less than twenty-one hours, the grand reunion of the Class of 1950 was in progress. Pete Basilion, the terpsichorean host, was wearing his best looking dancing tights ready to introduce his classmates to the magnificent dining salon with the lotus decor. BiIl Horner and Don Van Etten are the first to arrive. The former carries a milk pail in one hand and a pitch-fork in the other. The latter, running his hands through his hair, was moaning, Just a minute, l'll get it, please, repeat the question. Just then, a crash is heard outside and Chad Turner is yelling, l'll never be able to pay for it! What will my father say? He is silenced by the onrushing Jack Schuler cracking jokes and asking, Why don't pigs whistle? But, the serious side of Jack is noted by the algebra text in his left hand and a farmer's almanac in the other. Dick Clarvoe comes next, riding into the scene, singing his hill-billy songs astride a fancy tractor, while, Roge Conduit in his especially springed Buick, with an automatic sprinkler system roars up the outdoor ramp through the main door, into the astounded banquet hall. What Whatley, with his five o'clock shadow at eight-thirty, comes prancing in, accompanied by the newest addition to his lovelies. He is whispering aside, lt's either the make-up or the break-up tonight. Being seated at the Arthurian round table, the harried host sings out, l wonder, I wonder where Block, Lien, Mahn, D'Apolito, and Tingle could be? ll E171

Page 20 text:

flllatass flgrupheng EXTRUH! EXTRUH! resounded on every corner in Times Square and along Broadway. The Metropolis was alerted. The great news had just left the press that finally the world-renowned debaters would clash. Dr. Alan Block and Professor John Chadsey Turner IV were to debate in Madison Square Garden, a topic that had stirred the nation. Dr. Alan Block is to defend The Sovereignty of the White Man versus Professor John Chadsey Turner's plea for The Equality of All Men. Although these two proponents were once classmates at St. Bernard's School, they were now eager verbally to tear each other to pieces, limb for limb. The momentous day in American History had arrived. Mr. Ralph Lien, now head of the Eastern District of the Federal Bureau of Investigation was standing by with his cohorts to prevent pandemonium. This Mr. Lien was once a class-mate of the two famous debaters. News travels speedily. Reservations for the great event are made by Mr. Peter Basilon, owner of a chain of five restaurants, by the Messrs. Jack Schuler, Dick Clarvoe, Walter Mahn, and Bill Horner, owners of the Bee Hive Farms, Inc., foremost producers of dairy products and high grade beef cattle in the United States, also, by the Honorable Donald Van Etten, governor-elect of the Sovereign State of New York. Mr. Roger Conduit, chief engineer of the new East River Bridge, and Dr. Allan Whatley, famous ortho- dontist of Newark, N. J., likewise sent in their application for seats. This was a most particular list of reservations, because twenty years ago these gentlemen composed the graduating class of the famous St. Bernard's School located in Gladstone, which was now known as Glad-City, New Jersey. Will fate bring these men together, or will they slip in and out of Madison Square Garden, without noticing each other? We find the answer on March 'I, 1970. In one of the waiting rooms of the Garden, we discover Dr. Block and Prof. Turner comparing notes of the days at old S.B.S. There is a loud knock on the door. lt opens and in troop Messrs. Lien, Horner, Schuler, Clarvoe and Mahn. Dr. Block meets them with a rapid-fire greeting and Prof. Turner embraces each one of them with his never-lost cordiality. This fraternal reunion had barely subsided, when in steps Dr. Allan Whatley, Messrs. Peter Basilion and Roger Conduit. Uproar follows and iust as suddenly ceases when his Excellency, H61

Page 22 text:

Pete is surprisingly answered, as in gropes Sleepy Lien with a deck of bridge cards in his left hand and a Longfellow cigarette dangling from his lips. Just then, as if a cyclone had struck, four green-liveried attendants are rolling Walt Mahn, bed and all, while he is flipping cards across the room, right through the guest entrance of the dining room. Securing their places, quiet is established, as if all had recovered from shock. The silence did not last. The southern drawl of Money Block was heard chanting, How to Dance, Showing Your Buttons, and for encore, the Brotherhood of White Men. Hunger overtook the host and guests, and they became absorbed in the gastro- nomic art, despite the absence of two members. The long silence was finally broken by the arrival of two telegrams. Pete Basilion, the exhausted host, whispered the contents to the terrified guests. Sorry can't be with you. My Long Island University team is smashing Tingle's outfit. Signed, Tony D'Apolito. Couldn't make it. My New York University team is destroying D'Apolito's squad in the Polo Grounds. Signed, Ted Tingle. Every guest arose as a man. Prof. Turner exclaimed: Classmates, let us hurry to the Polo Grounds and stop the slaughter. As each one sought his outdoor clothes, the sonorous voice of Doctor of Philosophy Block could be heard: Alas! Now, I do believe in the subconscious. The night air engulfed the unique class of 1950. L 181