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Page 33 text:
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College can 't offer you a job right now... tlze only one who can offer you a job is your godfatherma talented uncle or somethingmlthe theater! has given me a place to go to work. It's given me sometlzing to do with my life. Sometlzing to care about, because I care about it...sometlzing to work in a positive direction, to go after something, to keep producing...It's entertaining at times, even. It's given me a name, I tlzink. People...in old days would say, '0h, that's Gary Hartwell, he's a farmer.' 'He's the meat cutter' In tlzese modern times, wlzen we look for identity, we go beyond, but it's nice to lzave a standard one, too...'stage manager', I like. I like to be in a managerial position... It is a good feeling to be 'the boss' of something, anything. This chair... It is, it's a very good feeling, a very rewarding experience sometimes, to be able to say, 'This is how we're going to remedy tlzis situation, carry it out like tlzis, tlzis is tlze manouever I want you to do,' and they do it, and Bang it works, man... It feels really good. I've felt better about nzyself in the past few years, lalthoughl it really doesn't have anything to do with the theater, but 1 do feel better about myself than I used to. When I was a freslzman here -well, all through high school, anyway- I began to get the feeling tlzat I really wasnlt very smart, I was kind of dumb...slow, lazy, a bum, you rat, you dirty rat, you know?... Then I worked in a bank for a while and I knew this person who was a TA .... therapist... He was a good friend of mine for a long time through higlz sclzool and stuff and anyway he was a minister and started getting involved in T .A. and he finally got some kind of degree, I don 't know what you get...anyway...we used to just talk about it all the time, so we started to use ourselves as examples of lzow to practice this TA. business, and I learned an awful lot, and I soon became a lot more positive towards myself I started getting a better image of myself.. Ifeel now thatI'm just as smart as anyone...I 'm just as capable as most people, too... Some people can do things that other people can 't do, but in general I 'rn just as capable of becoming some rich superman as anyone is... As a matter offact, sometimes Ifeel that I am going to become somebody great, and I think that that is the only way to look at life right now...don't bother with hfteen thousand dollars a year...go for a million, because it 's just as realistic... Don 't bother to be a peon, don't bother to become a middle-class American, you may as well just become a tycoon... I don 't know lzow I'm going to do it, I don't actually have any kind of battle plans... 1 have a feeling that it's just' going to happen to me... My real goal in life is to, uh, figure out to a certain extent wlzat the fuck I'm doing here. And to die, peacefully. Gary Hartwell Fine Arts major, head carpenter, Theatre Company F e 5 4 5 2 f 1 I E 3 5 5 E 3 3 Warm! 371531 VI?3.I5Eh il 5 Ei 1
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Page 32 text:
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