Southbridge High School - Milestone Yearbook (Southbridge, MA)

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Monola Maladies Ah . . . a refreshing feeling envelopes your being as you rise from bed and cross to the window, relishing the spring scene which awaits its function as a stage for the day's activities. i'Oh my gosh, you shockingly realize, it,s Monday morning! You quickly run through a list of possible ailments, mental- ly rejecting them all. The 24 hour flu? No, I had that 72 hours ago on Friday . . . Temperature? Nah, it's too hard to rig the thermometer. After pondering options for several minutes, you resort to the most definite, absolutely final source - a medical text- book courtesy of your sister in med school. Quickly flipping to the chapter entitled Diseases, you search endlessly for an ill- ness not serious enough to warrant an ex- cursion to your friendly family physician. i'Darn! you exclaim, slamming the cover shut and sinking into your bedspread. Hey! your mind screams, calling to your attention the possibility of a simple stomachache. Perfect! It fits all the re- quirements: l can stay out of school and the doctor's office. You wait in bed until your parents fling open the door to see what could be delay- ing you. Prompted by moans from be- neath your sheets, your mother rushes to your bedside, where you relate to her the painful details of your agonizing ordeal. As your parents' brows furrow in syn- chronization, your mind wanders to thoughts of reading that fantastic novel you've had on your desk since Christmas, eating chocolates you've hidden in the fridge, sipping freshly brewed herbal tea You gaze expectantly at your parents, Your mother says, l'm taking you to the doctor's. l'm afraid it might be appendici- tis. My performance was too convincing, you realize, as you watch your mother flush your hopes of freedom down the toi- let bowl of life as she lifts the telephone receiver. Oh well, you think, maybe l can buy off the doctor. I could use a hospital vaca- tion - being waited on hand and foot. having all my wants and desires attended to... All questions for Queenie can be sent to: The Yearbook Staff: cfo South- bridge High School, 25 Cole Ave.g Southbridge, MA 01550. ..u. .,-, .g. .,.- ,-' 5.. ,,, ,- --,,:V,.UJ .,-H.:--,.,j f,1l,.-, - 113: . L. vrgt L-:--H :,- if -I -. gy. v -,., --t I ,-it ':-:,,1L- -.,f, 1.j,-gg L-1-:11 Q ' :Z ,vt .,... i,r.,,.,- estion for eeni Dear Queenie: I have a severe dandruff problem. l've tried medicated sham- poos, but none seem to work. What should l do? - Feeling Flakey Dear Flakey: There is only one thing left for you to do. Wear white as often as possible and tell your friends that basic black is out! Dear Queenie: I am gro- tesquely obese. When I walk through the corridors, people ask me if I'll be star- ring in a new commercial with Bill Cosby soon! Please help me! - Jiggling Jello Dear Jello: Make new friends, preferably ones who are larger than you. Remember, if you want you to look thin, hang around with fat people! Dear Queenie: I've been cursed with oily skin since elementary school. Now I fC 'Ti'rK??w??Tf?E?if'3T71'Je ll' 75177 7 '.1' J'-Vi--1 E that I'm in high school, my complexion is greeted with prolonged stares. What can I do to save face? - Bonnie Blackhead Dear Bonnie: Try a mild as- tringent of ammonia and alco- hol, and be sure to wash your skin regularly. Healthy skin is important for a healthy person- ality. Dear Queenie: Lately my hair has been feeling dry and brittle. Whenever l try to brush or comb it, static electricity strikes. How can l restore my hair to its natu- ral texture? - Crunchy Coiffure Dear Crunchy: Take a trip to the local market and pick up a jar of mayonnaise. Apply gen- erously and let sit for one hour. Carefully rinse your hair with cold water. then shampoo, Your hair will be bouncy and vibrant. but don't be surprised if people mistake your tresses for a potato salad! Mini Mag 2 1

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Fred' Fashion Fau -pas Qfor a Frida Q Fred feels that even the most tasteless of . outfits can be improved with a lovely grin. Keep your pearly whites i NN., . sparkling by rinsing with Chlorox bleach everytime you brush! ls your figure more than pleasingly plump? Whit- tle that waist away without sweaty exercises! Sim- ply opt for dark-colored clothing. 20 Mini Mag Fred has found that feminine frills are back! Plenty of lace added to even the simplest of clothing can make you feel like queen for a day. Fred's Fave Fash- ion Tip: Contouring make-up can improve facial structure if used sparingly. In this case, too much is too much! AVN' Fred's Fave Faux-pas: The disheveled look is tres passe! Pack away those trashy clothes and pamper yourself with luxurious fabrics. Everyone knows that vertical stripes help to slenderize your figure, but Fred has deduced that their popularity stems from the fact that horizontal stripes are reminiscent of a chain gang! F 'N 534 ,- .

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G R A D the Days At SHS November rolls around and along with it comes the Big Thanksgiving Day Football Game vs. Bartlett. Classes band together to coordinate their skit for the big rally. The night before the rally you gath- er up your friends and meet in the gym to paint posters and, in some cases, each other. You are introduced to the rally mas- I cot, Miss Turkey. Exams! Unbelievably hard, teachers in high school are so demanding. How can they ex- pect you to remember things you learned way back in Sep- tember? You cram and cram until the last exam is finally be- hind you. Half a year gone, half a year still ahead of you. This term you promise yourself to take notes so you won't have to study so hard for your finals. 22 Mini Mag Spring has arrived. Your first Spring Day at SHS. As a sopho- more, most of you are too young to go to the prom. As a result, Spring Day is the major school activity for underclassmen. The day's events include numerous contests of physical agility and a scavenger hunt. A day in the sun is a welcome break from acade- mia. a class ring but many , order this their high school ir sophomore ew symbolize many male and male students