Southampton High School - Sea Spray Yearbook (Southampton, NY)

Text from Pages 1 - 78 of the 1925 volume:

The Last Straw SOUTHAMPTON NEW YORK CLASS MOTTO Scientia est potestas CLASS COLORS Blue and Gold Published at SOUTHAMPTON HIGH SCHOOL By Members of THE SENIOR CLASS NINETEEN TWENTY FIVE THE LAST STRAW 3 PRINCIPAL HAROLD F. SABINE THE LAST STRAW 5 DEDICATION To Miss Alice T. Hudson, who made her advent into this High School about the same time as we, and who has been our friend and constant teacher ever since, we the class of ’25 affectionately dedicate this book. THE LAST STRAW 7 EDITORIAL STAFF WILLIAM PLATT .... EDNA ELLISTON ..... WILLARD FRENCH .... JUANITA RYDER ..... KATHRYN McALLISTER LILLIAN BENNETT.... ANDREW VEECK ...... COURTLAND SMITH ... RUSSELL BAILEY .... ..................... Editor ............Associate Editor ............Associate Editor ............Associate Editor ............Associate Editor ...........Business Manager Assistant Business Manager Assistant Business Manager .........................Art FACULTY MR. HAROLD F. SABINE ......... MISS ALICE HUDSON ............ MISS EMILY SCHRADER .......... Miss EDNA SCHENKEL ............ MISS MAE OWENS ............... MRS. RUTH SAYRE .............. MR. DEWEY AMNER .............. MR. CHARLES SMITH ............ MTSS DOROTHY WOLFE ........... MR. DONALD STENSON ........... MISS RUTH JENNINGS ........... MR. RICHARD SMITH ............ MISS EMILY TERRELL ........... ...............Principal .......—Vice Principal ......-...........Latin .............Commercial Commercial and English ................History ....French and Spanish ....Science and English ................Drawing .......Manual Training ................ Music .......Athletic Director .......Domestic Science 8 THE LAST STRAW POST-GRADUATES PETER BALNIS EMILY BISHOP AUGUSTA HALSEY HELEN HALSEY HAROLD PHILLIPS ALEITH POHLEY AMANDA RULAND SENIORS JOSEPH FANNING—President EDNA ELLISTON—Vice President LILLIAN BENNETT—Secretary COURTLAND SMITH—Treasurer MR. HAROLD F. SABINE—Faculty Adviser BERTHA DULL WILLARD FRENCH CHARLES GUILLOZ ELIZABETH JAGGER JAMES LYNCH ALICE MALONE KATHRYN McALLISTER DAISY MAC LEAN SIDNEY PAYNE JOSEPH PHILLIPS WILLIAM PLATT JUANITA RYDER HELEN SANFORD HORACE SANFORD ROGER STEWART WARREN VAN HISE ANDREW VLECK JUNIORS RICHARD FOSTER—President EDWARD FOSTER—Vice President ERIC OSBORNE—Secretary and Treasurer MISS ALICE HUDSON—Faculty Adviser KATHLEEN AYLWARD ABNER BENNETT MARGERY BUNN GEORGE BURNETT HELEN DIX ALFRED EDWARDS ISADORE EISNER WILLIAM FORDHAM RICHARD FOWLER SEYMOUR FRANK ELEANOR GALOW IRVING GREENBERG EDNA GREENE IEONARD HAWKINS ARTHUR HERBERT MALCOLM JESSUP HAROLD LANE MILDRED McALLISTER ADELINE OSWICK MABEL OVERTON EVELYN PALMER LILLY PETERSON HAROTD PLATT ARTHUR RIENART HELEN ROCHE STANLEY SCERBINSKI MARIE SCHOLZ RUTH SHERMAN ROWLAND SMITH COIUMBUS TERRY LILLIAN TERRY HOWARD WARREN ELIZABETH WHITE NELLIAN YONDE THE LAST STRAW 9 SOPHOMORES HELEN SCHWENCK—President GREGORY MORSE—Vice President ALBERT GRIFFIN—Secretary and Treasurer MISS EMILY SCHRADER—Faculty Adviser LEE ALLEN ISABELLE BARTEAU ANNA DARBY MARJORIE DREW HENRY FORDHAM HELEN FRANCKENBACH GERAID HERBERT HALSEY HOWELL HENRY LILLYWHITE FRED MALROSE MICARI MICHAEL MADELINE PAYNE CARL PHILLIPS RUTH RAYNOR ELBERT ROBINSON JOANNA RULAND FLORENCE SQUIRES MONROE STRONG ELIZABETH TERRY ERNEST YONDE LETTIE WOOD FRESHMEN CAROLINE WILDE—President FENTON CRUTCHLEY—Vice President EVERETT VEECK—Treasurer and Secretary MISS MAE OWENS—Faculty Adviser ANTHONY BABINSKI HENRY BALNIS GEORGE BUCHEIT CHESTER BATTENOW I AURA CALLAGHAN BILLY CHEESNICK ELIZABETH COLLEDGE EVELYN CORWITH HAROLD CREED ARTHUR CRIPPEN ANITA CRIPPEN EVA CULVER T ESI IE CULVER DOROTHY DREW AGNES DRUMM ALICE DRUMM MILDRED DURYEA MABEL ELLIS MARY ELLIS CATHERINE ELLISTON HENRIETTA FICKERSEN GERTRUDE FRANK MILDRED GODBEE EVERETT HALSEY VIOLA HERMAN VIRGINIA HERMAN ARAMINTA HILDRETH EVFLYN HISCOCK SOPHIE HUEI ESKI HELENA HOWARD HEIEN KOSKI ROBERT LIND BEATRICE LINDBERG CONSTANCE LISBON GEORGE LISBON ROSEMARY LOADER SARA McALLISTER john McLaughlin VIOLA MACK VIOLET MALMROSE NORMAN MERCER I EONARD MILLER MAY MOORE DOROTHY MORRIS HELEN O’LEARY PATTI INE OSTERLITZ CHRISTINE PAGAC FRANK PHILLIPS JAMES ROBINSON CLAUD SANFORD ELEANOR SCHOLTZ CARROL SCHWENK ARTHUR SMITH TRUMAN SMITH HARRY STREET LILLIAN STRONG COLI INS TERRY PAUL TOPPING RUIIF VAN BRUNT JOHN WARDE GENEVA WHITE HALSEY WHITE I EWIS WHITE SEYMORE WHITE ETTA WHITNEY ALICE WOLINSKI LETTY WOOD ALICE ZALUSKE THE LAST STRAW EDITORIAL For years the classes which have gone before us have been accustomed to leave behind them a class book. Fiom cur own exped ience in high school, we realize that we have little idea of, rr mall conee n with those classes which have been. From our narrow human viewpoint, we associate with our idea of high school only those whom we knew and mingled with which we, ourselves, were students. Our eyes are likely to be shut to the fact that when we were romping children, other seniors as capable as we, were being graduated as we are today. When we gaze about the halls and class rooms, how often do we associate with them those long departed classes, or how often do we picture the mem- bers of those classes, studying as we study, thinking as we think, enjoying that which we enjoy? We are aware of the truth and reality of this, and, while at present, every one of us is looking forward with the eagerness of youth to that which life may hold for him, still we disdain not, at the same time, to devote, at parting, a little consideration to the only thing which we leave behind us, our memory. To us these four years of high school have been a world within itself. Here we have practically lived, labored and enjoyed ourselves. Here have been our trials and tribulations, our ambitions and our joys. Here, we hope, are many of our friends. High school life, like life itself, is an ever-moving parade which enters at the bottom and leaves at the top. Soon, we of today, will be a column far, far in the distance and right behind us will be the whole little world which we connect with our high school life. The teachers change, the pupils change and all that remains the same is, perhaps, the school itself. So we hope that this little book will help to keep fresh our memory when the class of ’25 will be known only as a numeral in the long list of Time’s consecutive roll. Perhaps, too, it will be of interest to the future student, who chancing upon a copy, will see the fun, characters and scandal of our high school days. It is almost our last undertaking as seniors and everything in it is given with a hearty parting good will. May you find it agreeable and interesting, and worthy of a class which looking toward the future—may it be radiant for all of us—take our farewell from high school like Byron from England: “With a sigh for those who love us, And a smile for those who hate, And whatever sky’s above us, With a heart for EVERY fate.” WILLIAM B. PLATT. VALEDICTORY We, the Class of 1925, are here tonight as participants in the event which has been our aim these last four years. Four years—it seemed a long time when we looked ahead—but those years have rolled by swiftly and now on the eve of our graduation, it seems as if it were only yesterday that we first entered high school. We have gained much in the years we spent here. We have not only gained the knowledge of those things which we go to school to learn, but we have learned something of our responsibilities and our duties that shall fit us to be better citizens. We did not accomplish this by ourselves but under the kindly guidance of our teachers who have instructed us in the right paths and to whom we are truly grateful. THE LAST STRAW 11 At this time we wish to thank Mr. Sabine who has been our faculty advisor for two years and to whom we owe much of our success. We are also grateful to the Board of Education, the townspeople, and our fellow students, win have sh wn an interest in us and who have contributed to our success by aiding us in onr activities. , Afte tonight we shall no longer be students of Southampton High School. In the fall many of us will enter colleges and normal schools, but we will never forget our student days in this high school. And so now, we, the Class of 1925, wish to bid farewell to our principal, our teachers, the Board of Edu- cation, and our fellow students. ISABELLE A. DOWNEY. SALUTATORY Tonight, on the eve of our graduation, we have reached the height toward which we have been steadily striving. For four long years we have looked forward to this hour which would mark the end of our High School course. The journey has not been an easy one. Sometimes it has been calm, more often stormy and perilous. But now, our goal, by hard work and diligence, has been gained; and so, in behalf of the Class of 1925, I bid you, the Board of Education, our parents and friends, a most cordial and hearty welcome. OUR TRIP TO WASHINGTON “Twenty-one, twenty-two-Is that Andy Veck in the far corner over there with Edna? Yes? Twenty-three—and, now, where is Joseph? Ah, out on the back platform already! And before the train is fairly out of Penn Station! Oh, I see ... . girls out there .... urn! Well, I guess we’re all here, conductor,” Mr. Sabine sighs long and loudly as he seats himself within easy shouting distance of Isabelle, Alice and the fair Helens. The Southampton High School Senior Class is off for Washington on the 12:10 train out of Pennsyl- vania Station, Saturday, April 11, 1925. There is a busy hum of voices throughout the car, everyone is excited and on tip-toe with enthusiasm— everyone that is but Warren K. V. H., who is slumped way down in a remote seat trying to catch a few long lost 40 winks. You never can excite those East Quoguers, you know! The lively strum of a “uke” is heard somewhere in the far distance and—but what is that streak of greased lightning? Oh, yes, Willard in search of the musicians, of course! Daisy is busy cornering Bridge players and trying to flirt with Sidney Payne at the same time, but of course that’s useless. What’s useless? Flirting with Sidney, of course. But wait, Mr. Onlooker, just you wait, and if I’m not mistaken .... well, still waters run deep. One whole, fleeting, joyful hour elapses .... passes away into eternity .... and there is Sidney, calmly sitting in Warren’s place beside the demure Peggy serenely offering her on“-quarter of a nice, big, fat, rosy apple. Mr. Sabine tried very hard to photograph this pretty domestic scene but unfortunately the apple hid their faces and the picture produced showed a total blank from the neck up-. A bustle, a stir, a groaning of brakes. “Wash-ing-ton!” bawls the con- ductor. All hurry to set foot on the Promised Land. Roger Stewart is last,— the blame is placed on Greenport High School. But, where are all the male members of this crew? After a hurried search in every far corner of the station Mr. Sabine decides that it is best not to worry unduly abcut their mysterious disap- pearance. He remarks from long experience: “Km, well, boys will be boys. 12 THE LAST STRAW I guess they’ll be all right. Let’s go to the hotel, girls.” The girls seem very much worried but obediently start for the hotel. When they arrive the worn, worried look is for a moment erased by the thrill of the “One and Only” elevator. Even Courtie Smith afterwards agreed it was the only elevator of its kind which he knew to be in captivity. For the girls, the next hour was crammed to the brim with excitement. The tele- phones were experimented with; there were hurried consultations and many trips to and from and in between the various rooms. Dark plans for the evening were being discussed—and the boys had not yet put in an ap- pearance! With dinner came the boys. It was inevitable, of course. With the one came the other. It was noticed, too, that during their mysterious hour’s absence and wanderings they had acquired masks of innocence which were consistantly worn for the remainder of the trip. We say “masks because, well, no matter how innocent those be s may sefim—we go to school with them. The boys had formed conspiracies, it seemed, and several drifted about by themselves not only that evening but the others also, probably with the dark intent of visiting the various “dp � s of iniquity” (otherwise known as shows) which Senator Platt had told them of. It was to be noted, however, that most of the male sex showed a deeded preference for the female of the species, and in unexpected channels, to-� ! (Ask Catherine McAllister, if you don’t believe us). t With dinner eaten, Mr. Sabine is next viewed conducting the major por- tion (the females) of the class to the Congressional Library, Senate House, House of Representatives, and other points of interest. About nine o’clock the party breaks up and various shows and places of amusement are sought. Several hours elapse. The members of the Southampton High School Senior Class should all be tucked snugly in bed and sleeping the sleep of the just. And they are, to all intents and purposes! However, with an all-seeing telescope one may spy Alice Malone sha'ing an orange with her crony, Josephine; To-Do holding a last-mirute conference on one of the fire escapes with two “st ange” girls; Willard b ibing a bell-hop for a sandwich; Lillian Bennett discussing future “heavy” dates with her room-mates, and Courtie Smith writing a lengthy letter to his mother. Early Sunday morning finds the various members of the gang just finish- ing a hearty breakfast. That is, all but Joseph Ph llips He is not accus- tomed to such early rising, you know. Then a Dusy day is begun in earnest. Big sight-seeing buses have been charte'ed and take the class to see the sights. It was noticed a certain member of the class (from East Quogue) showed a ve y special liking for those interestin er—, buses. Some of the membe s of the class show the usual religious fervor and attend church but due to the gnawing pangs of hunger several are forced to make an embarrassing exit and then a wild dash for the hotel before the services are concluded. All the sights, great and small which are to be seen in the short space of th ee days are seen by this class, it is thought. Each night finds them foot- sore and wea y but game to the last. Several of the more ambitious of the crew even climb towering Washington Monument. (Tabelle Downey did not). With Tuesday afternocn comes a memorable trip down the Potomac River to visit Washington’s home. He'e the members of the crew are photographed in order that ea’h and every one might have an immotal record of his or her inspired countenance. Due to the fa t that Do-Dc’s face usually docs register an “inspired countenance,” he thinks it a waste of time to be photo- graphed Then, too, he is very busy just at this moment. Can’t you see he is, Mr. Sabine? Gi'Is—um—yes, girls--------! “It’s th-ee o’clock in the morning,” says a certain well-known song and it THE LAST STRAW 13 finds the National Hotel in a state of subdued uproar. Outwardly, every- thing appears quiet and peaceful. Yet none of the class are sleeping but Elizabeth Jagger and Sidney. Elizabeth is trying to make up for time lost the preceding nights but Sidney is sleeping,—well, we don’t know just why, but he is. There are whispered conversations, sleepy murmurs and hurried exchanging of “eats” among the various rooms. The “pros” and “cons” of the trip are discussed but the decision is always unanimously “pro.” All too soon the daylight comes and with it the Senior Class’ sad farewell to Wash- ington. Hurried good-byes to the new-found friends are exchanged and then a rush for the station is made. The return trip seems comparatively quiet for the Southampton High School class. Dull roars as of the rushing of many waters may be heard now and again but there is no need for anyone to be alarmed. It is but the peaceful sleeping of Horace Sanford, Jimmy Lynch and a few others. At Philadelphia the class makes a short stop-over and see Liberty Bell, Fairmont Park and the other sights. But the thoughts of the class are busy reviewing the hours so happily spent in Washington. (Note—Jimmy Lynch is still asleep. It is said his class-mates had a hard time convincing him in after days that he had ever been in Philadelphia. He stoutly asserted he had ‘never seen the place”—which we may safely say we think is true). All too soon the train pulls in at Pennsylvania Station, where the several members of the class disperse. What can be said of the Washington trip? The heart of each and every member is too full of happiness at the very mention of the magic word “Washington,” to be coherent. It is just a little full of sadness, too, to think that the trip is over. The class can never lose its many precious memories, however, and so, with these fresh in our minds we give a hearty cheer for Washington and that good sport, Harold F. Sabine. J. R. ow cL re you, «.ncf e ) e v y ettsHo a,(of p ? Tk e '?t or ITA i v K of hzr Xe (tssItAih of her e)e v p ett Ho ci oftf • Tk e or I TAi y K of 14 THE LAST STRAW PICTURE GALLERY “Modest and simple and sweet, The very type of Priscilla.” JOSEPHINE MARGARET BARNWELL (alias “Joe,” “Babby” and “Sis”) The lass with the flaming hair, the large brown eyes, and the unabtrusive, quiet manner,—while in school,—always gentle in disposition and never aggressive, is the baby of the class. She possesses the excellent art of being a good listener rather than a good talker,—an unusual occurrence in her sex. May she always advance as rapidly as she has done in school, and may she find luck and happiness in life. Senior Play '25; Soccer Team ’23. “There’s a wee fault, they whiles lay to me, I like the laddies, Gude forgive me.” DAISY MARGARET MacLEAN (alias “Dizzy”) Full of pep, fun, laughter and Scotch (nationality), that’s our Daisy. Always anxious to raise the dickens and willingly to have a hand in any deviltry. Strong mentally and stronger physically. A good sprrt and a good “scout” whom everyone will miss. Good luck to her, and let’s all join in! Soccer Team ’24; S. H. S. ’23-’24, ’24-’25; S'hool at Elgin Academy, Scotland, ’21-’22, ’22-’23; Hockey Team at Elgin ’21-’22, ’22- ’23; Girls’ Track Team ’21-’22, ’22’23. THE LAST STRAW 15 “Here’s a sigh to those who love me, And a smile to those who hate.” EDNA MORROW ELLISTON (alias “Eddie,” “Ed” or “Pat”) Edna is our little girl of a thousand moods and fancies with a strange power of attrac- tion which makes friends with all who know her. Comely, brilliant, talented, emotional, deep and generally serious, are adjectives which help to describe her. A good sport in a thousand ways and a ready and willing worker in all she undertakes. Her snap and vim inspires the class and she is one of its chief supports. There isn’t an angelic trait which we can’t find somewhere in her and there isn’t a devilish one which doesn’t sometimes rise to the surface. For she is a girl of moods; there are a thousand Edna Elliston’s and though we know her we do not know them all. Parrish Speaking Contest ’22; 1st prize Parrish Speaking Contest ’23; Parent-Teachers’ Play “Seventeen’’ ’23; Operetta ’22, ’23, ’24; Presi- dent Freshman Class ’21; Vice President Junior Class ’24; Vice-President Senior Class ’25; Soccer Team ’23; Assistant Editor Class Book, Assistant Editor Red and White, ’24-’25; May Queen ’25. “He was the mildest mannered man.” HORACE HALSEY SANFORD (alias “Sandy”) Horace is so quiet that he hardly imparts his ideas or characteristics to his fellow beings. He cares nothing for the beautiful maidens of the high school and would prob- ably take his life before he’d speak freely with them or treat them as does Mr. Van Hise and some other of our shieks. In fact, we believe that he is a woman hater. He is at all times orderly and never malicious in any way. He is successful in study and never devotes himself to any foolishness. A sensible, conservative, quiet boy, as silent as “Cal” himself. Class Volley Ball ’24-’25. 16 THE LAST STRAW, “Let the world slide, let the world pro, A fig for cai’e and a fig for woe.” JOSEPH BROST FANNING (alias “Dody”) A man of brains, wit, humor and ambition, is our worthy president. A bit susceptible to feminine charm, it may be, but who among us is exempt? He has a sunny dis- position, a spirit that is never broken. He makes of victory or defeat, a triumph. “Body” was born to succeed. He makes friends easily and keeps them more easily. He is the life of every party and the back- bone of his class. His prospects in life are more than rosy if we guess right! Football ’23; Class Basketball ’23-’24, ’24- ’25; Class Volley Ball ’24-’25; Parrish Speaking Contest ’25; Track Manager ’25; Senior Play ’23 and ’25; Senior President ’25; Operetta ’23; Triangular Debate ’25; Junior-Senior Debate ’25; Mental Arith- metic Contest ’20. “Though I am young, I scorn to fit, On the wings of borrowed wit.” COURTLAND ELMER SMITH (alias “Courtie”) “Corn tie” has just enough defiance, just enough indifference, and just enough cool self control to carry him through many a tight place in life. He has a keen sense of humor and an impish trait in his character. His resistance to feminine charms is mar- velous and though he is not particular about dancing and similar activities, he is not as innocent and drowsy as he sometimes ap- pears. He does his share in keeping the high school from sleeping. He has en- dea’ ed himself to the hearts of all. Class Basketball ’23-’24, ’24-’25; Class Volley Ball, ’24-’25; Football ’23, ’24; Man- ager Basketball ’23-’24; Operetta ’23; Treas- urer of Senior Class ’25; Assistant Business Manager of Class Book. THE LAST STRAW 17 “Such great triumphs as no mortal ever gained, May yet be thine.” CHARLES EUGENE BALDWIN (alias “Gene” or “Baldy”) “Baldy” is a straight forward, scrupul- ous boy with a way all his own. His atti- tude is frank and he is not fearful of anyone when his sense of justice has been out- raged. His ideals and opinions are original and he is chivalrous in his attitude toward womankind—from our observations. He does no flattering and says what he thinks since he is always sincere. In short, he is a very decent chap who is like no one else, save himself. Basketball ’23-’24, ’24-’25; Track Team ’23, ’24 and ’25; Operetta ’23; Class Basket- ball ’23, ’24; Class Volley Ball ’24-’25; Base- ball ’24. “Full well they laugh at all his jokes, For many a joke had he.” ROGER WILLIAM STEWART (alias “Bob” or “Shinka”) Here we have the “good-bad” boy who does not waste a superfluous amount of time in study but instead survives on his own general brilliance. Though quiet under some circumstances, he is by no means bashful or backward, and is fit for any occa- sion where he may have to prove this point. On the Washington trip he proved he was veiy much alive and probably surprised some of the girls who had formed false im- pressions due to the fact that high school girls do not appeal to him very much. Look at his picture—doesn’t he look innocent enough? Class Basketball ’24-’25; Class Volley Ball ’24-’25; Track Team ’23, ’24, ’25. 18 THE LAST STRAW “Strange to the world, He wore a bashful look.” CHARLES SIDNEY PAYNE (alias “Sid”) “Sid,” the good natured recipient of many a hearty laugh, is one in the Senior Class whom every one knows very well and no one hates. He is different from the average fellow, being studious and smart in lessons, but employing his own way of treating his fellow human beings. He is the ieast atrocious member in our class. The High School shall miss him greatly next year and so will we. for there are many men, but only one “Sid” Payne. Football ’23, ’24; Class Volley Ball ’25; 2nd piize in D. A. A. Essay ’24. “Ambition flowereth alike In la ge and small.” JOSEPH HENRY PHILLIPS (alias “Joe”) A quiet yet sociable, never backward boy, li : an! athletic, gocd natir’ed, not at a'l afraid of gi:ls, yet he doesn’t bother much wi!h our High School belles. That’s “Joe” Phillips, the little man of our class, whose amiable way and friendly attitude keeps him out of trouble, always. Senior Play ’25; Class Volley Ball ’24-’25; Class Basketball ’24-’25; Football ’24. THE LAST STRAW 19 “To get the good of a book, You must go beneath the cover.” WILLARD GEORGE FRENCH (alias “Frenehie” or “Bill”) Willard is a boy of great persistence, con- centration, endurance, patience and self- confidence. He can always rely on himself to get out of tight places and is steady and self controlled. He is always exactingly proper in matters of etiquette and conducts himself as becomes a gentleman. His taste is fanciful, precise, and particular both in matters of clothing and whenever discrimin- ation is necessary. He is steady in love, and is ki. d and friendly, very seldom severe'and believes somewhat in the law of self preser- vation. A. combination which ought to guarantee success in life. Football ’24 ’25; 1st prize Parrish Speak- ‘ Contest ’24; Senior Play ’23 and ’25; Junior-Senior Debate ’24 and ’25; Trian- i,..iar Debate ’24 and ’2.3; Assistant Editor cf Class Book. “That which is worth doing at all, Is worth doing well.” ISABELLE ANTONIA DOWNEY (alias “Issy” or “Tony”) Isabelle is generally of a very quiet and non-presumptious nature. She does not fia e up before the public’s gaze eve'y few minutes but when she does she does it right, for you see she stands at the head of the class in studious rating, and is our Valedic- torian. Senior Play ’25; Valedictorian of Class ’25. 20 THE LAST STRAW “A girl of cheerful yesterdays and confident tomorrows.” LILLIAN SANFORD BENNETT (alias “Moses” or “Lil) “Lil” is a mild mannered girl with a good natured streak in her which is quite appar- ent. She is serious in attitude, slightly emo- tional, generally frank and kind hearted. Her ability is not limited and she is the kind of a girl who is popular with all who know her. She does not seem to be influenced by sheiks—(with the exception of one)—and is temperate, sensible and rational in all her actions. We know that she will make some one a good wife and let’s hope it won’t be a one-sided bargain. Basketball ’23-’24, ’24-’25; Manager Basketball Team ’23-’24, ’24-’25; Operetta ’24; Senior Play ’25; Secretary Senior Class ’25; Parrish Speaking Contest ’24, ’25; Soc- cer Team ’22; Business Manager of Class Book. “The world is a comedy to those who think, A tragedy to those who feel.” WILLIAM BANGS HUBERT PLATT (alias “Bill” and “Bangs”) Clothed in the robes of genius, with his head above the clouds, but with feet firmly planted on the path that leads to some- thing better is one conception of “Bangs.” Those who think much talk but seldom and so we find him; however, his pen forms the tongue which gives utterance to those thoughts and so they are not lost but find their expression in beauty of language both of prose and poetry. An earnest and con- scientious worker he never falters in what he undertakes. In his quiet unassuming way he has become a part of our institution. He will be missed. Senior Play '25; Editor of Class Book, Pairish Speaking Contest ’24; 1st prize Par- rish Sneaking Contest ’25; Triangular De- bate ’24; Junior-Senior Debate ’25. THE LAST STRAW! 21 “Of studies she took Most care and heed.” BERTHA CATHERINE DULL Beitha is very, very quiet and fond of obscurity. She does not like to come forth and flaunt herself before the eyes of the High School or to indulge in any action which might bring their questioning gaze upon her. She believes in attending strictly to her own affairs and leaving those of other people alone. She is about the only girl we have who doesn’t over-use her tongue and her watch-word is silence and retii ement. S. H. S. four years. “For courage riseth with occasion.” ANDREW CHARLES VEECK (alias “Andy”) “Andy” is friendly, cheerful, sympathetic with a liking for athletics and for girls. He isn’t lazy—judging from appearances—and he is a good fellow to know and to have for a friend. He is an agreeable companion and easy to get along with. He never seems to be afflicted with an over amount of self-esteem or uncalled for pride, and he is as good a rival as he is a friend. Basketball ’22-’23, ’23-’24, ’24-’25; Track ’25; Football ’23; Baseball ’23, ’24, ’25; As- sistant Business Manager Class Book. 22 THE LAST STRAW Good temper, like a sunny day, Sheds brightness over everything.” ALICE JESSIE WORRELL Alice is a plain girl in manner and dress. So sweetly simple that we wish some of our underclass men, who are compounds, might profit by her example. We have never seen her angry or out of sorts and her policy seems to be good humor and good will at all times. She is always friendly and talk- ative and never loses any sleep over a boy. In short, she is sensible, good natured and affable. Operetta '23; 2nd prize Mental Arithmetic Contest ’21; S. H. S. four years. “Shreds of wit and senseless rhymes, Blunder ed out a thousand times.” JAMES HUGH LYNCH (alias “Jimmy”) Jimmy is one of our humorists who gen- erally is seen wearing a devilish smile. His (ptimism is as refreshing as his humor is laughable. He is a good sport and popular with all gills and all beys. His good nature is generally found at the top but it might not be advisable to impose upon it for Jimmy is a boy with plenty of spunk. His manner is friendly and patronizing and in short, he is so full of sunshine that all of us might have found it a little darker sail- ing without him. Basketball ’23-’24, ’24-’25; Captain Class Basketball Team ’23-’24; Volley Ball ’24-’25. THE LAST STRAW 23 “The power to know, the aim to do.” JAMES RUSSELL BAILEY (alias “Si”) Russell is one of the sensible boys in our class. He is capable of good judgment and able thought. He is athletic but his ability does not end then for he is a singer, speaker and artist as well. Although he is as full of fun as the average boy, still there is something which twangs of seriousness in his makeup. He is a conscientious worker and a hard player. He is not without his conquests in the kingdom of the lassies and eveiyone likes him because he is always gentle and friendly. Basketball ’21-’22, ’22-’23, ’23-’24 ’24-'25- Track ’21, ’22, ’23, ’24, ’25; Operetta ’22, ’23 24; Parrish Speaking Contest ’23; Manager Football Team 23, ’24; Sophomore President j23 Secretary Junior Class ’24; Class VoL “An imp in disguise, but an imp that is wise.” WARREN KARL VAN HISE (alias “Histey”) Warren reminds us a little of an elf and in many ways, he is. He has a shrewd de- signing character when it comes to playing jokes and he is by no means girl-shy. In truth, sometimes he treats them pretty : oughly. His overflowing spirit of deviltry sometimes causes the teachers a little worry and he is a wide awake, red blooded, sporty boy in spite of his size but like all wide awake boys, he doesn’t spend too much time in the pursuit of study. Manager Basketball Team ’24-’25; Assis- tant Manager Football Team ’24; Junior Basketball Team ’23-’24; Operetta '23. 24 THE LAST STRAW “The language, especially the dead, The science, and most of all the obtruse In all these she was much and deeply read.” ELIZABETH GOLDTHRITE JAGGER A very studious, precise, proper, quiet gill is Elizabeth. She never has departed from the path of common sense and prop- i iety. She indulges in none of the frivolous (foolish?) pastimes and habits which are common to some of us and is always the least of any teacher’s worries. Her con- duct and manner is always unpretentious and we believe that she is fonder of quietude than she is of publicity. We admire her modesty and lack of egotism. Second prize in Mental Arithmetic Con- test '19; S. H. S. four years. “For she has the simple way of fascination And she lacks not the spirit of sport.” ALICE KATHRYN MALONE (alias “Al” or “Patricia”) “Al” is a good sport and consequently just a little wild. Anyone who engages her in conve: sation will surely consider himself well paid for she is by no means dreary or somber. Instead, she is wide awake and always looking for a good time. The time of day or night is of little account to her because she is a radical when the question resolves itself into a matter of diversion. She has never been particular about the High School men and is never overawed by h? presence of any of them, but at the same time we have reason to believe that she is no man hater. S. H. S. four years. THE LAST STRAW 25 “Her modesty doth oft hide her clearness and power.” KATHRYN MARY McALLISTER (alias “Katie”) Kathryn, our salutatorian, is one of the classes brightest members. She is very studious, modest, unassuming and kind. Her skill is not limited to success at studies for she is quite a piano player and fills that position in our High School Orchestra. She does not pay particular attention to the male members of the High School—due, no doubt to her good common sense—but she does not fear them and high and low alike find her a pleasant and willing conversa- tionalist. Senior Play ’25; Soccer ’23; Captain Soc- cer Team ’24; Operetta '24; High School Or- chestra ’24-’25; “On with the dance, let joy be unconfined.” JUANITA RYDER (alias “Peggy”) The maid from East Quogue is an easy talker and generally of gentle disposition. Her patience has evidently fortified itself because she stands a lot of practical joking without becoming angry. She doesn’t em- ploy hard-hearted or cave-woman tactics in any case, and we are inclined to think that she isn’t always quite cruel enough. It seems hard for her to become intemperately angry, although she tries hard enough some- times, but such attempts generally culmin- ate in mild indifference. She’s bright, witty, and not foolish very often. We are sure you will miss her mild manner and sweet ac- tions. Senior Play 525; Attendant in May Day Festival ’25; 1st prize Parrish Speaking Contest ’25; Assistant Editor of Class Book. 26 THE LAST STRAW: “The reason firm, the temperate will, Endurance, foresight, strength and skill.” CHARLES FREDERIC GUILLOZ (alias “Charlie”) “Charlie” is our example of ambition and thrift. There is not too much to be done but that he can accomplish it. There are not so many activities but that he has had a hand in all. Our model of strength, and manly form, is very modest and conducts himself in an unassuming way. He is seri- ous, but a good sport and pleasant to talk to. He should make a good husband because all girls do not attract him. Basketball ’21-’22, ’22-’23, ’23-’24, ’24-’25; Football ’21, ’22, ’23, ’24; Track ’21, ’22, ’23, ’24, ’25; Baseball ’24; Senior Play ’23 and '25; Operetta ’22, '23, ’24; Junior-Senior Debate ’24; President Junior Class ’24; President Athletic Association ’24 and '25; Captain Basketball Team ’24-’25; Captain Football Team ’23, ’24; Captain Track Team ’25. SENIOR ADVICE Since we have now attained the age of wisdom and have come here tonight with the knowledge that we are superior to all who inhabit this institution of learning, and since we have found, in our four years, that we are capable of giving valuable advice to many of our fellow classmen, we come prepared tonight to counsel those inferior, useless creatures, called Juniors, concerning their conduct which is badly in need of our competent attention. In doing this we consider that our exalted station excuses us from proffering any excuses: Artie Reinhardt, we think you ought to take in washing, you seem so at- tached to a certain “Tub.” Harold Platt, you should move out West. There your liking for “Ryder’s” would be suitable. Maude Burnett, we think sometimes that you have a way all your own, for one moment you “Bob” up, but mostly its a case of “Bob Downs.” We admit, Doc, it is permissible to run wild on a motorcycle, but you really ought not to go so “Wilde” over a lady friend. Dick Fowler, we think you ought to purchase another blue sweater. One for you and one for your “other half.” To cultivate a more lady-like laugh for use during Mr. Ammer’s study hall, is what we advise our “lady with the golden tresses,” Kitty Alyward. “Sherm” Hawkins, to insure his little roadster against theft as we hear there have been numerous attempts to steal it. (It would be a frightful loss?) Nellian, we are convinced that you should cease attempting to vamp the “young gentleman from Washington” while in Spanish class. Don’t you know that his attentions are already diverted? THE LAST STRAW. 27 Helen Rcche, you ought to write a book entitled, “Walking on Main Street” or, by chance, “On a Sunday Afternoon.” You know lots about it. George Burnett, don’t you know that it isn’t polite to smoke all of Mr. Foster’s imported cigarettes when you visit Dick? Lily Peterson, you should soften your hard heart and give Clarence a little recognition of his love. It has nearly driven the poor boy to his grave. We like the appearance of your new sweater, Dick Foster. We suppose next you’ll be acquiring a “Hudson” car? Howard Warren, everyone knows that Sag Harbor is long miles away. Why don’t you try S. H. S. flappers for a change? A bachelor’s life is a lonely one to lead, Rowland Smith. Why waste your manly talents, your studious abilities, your pleasing appearance, on mere mankind? Behold! your feminine surroundings and be wise. Eleanor Galow, to make some use of that pretty smile and those pearly- white teeth—such as posing for a toothpaste “ad.p Eddie Whitman, we advise you to continue with your pugilistic career. Perhaps, some day, you will be able to lick “Issy.” Ibby, you must consult a physician. We believe there’s a “Maher” on your heart. Eric Osborne and Willis Van Brunt to co-operate in their extensive re- search work and perhaps some day they will discover the basic principle of the “Sky Look” or “How High is Up.” Irving Greenburg, to make love to a fat girl, since he is Suffolk County’s best at handling heavyweights. Alfred Edwards, please remember that “The Heart of Nature” is proud of gentlemen. Seymour Frank, to equip his Dusenburg with balloon tires, so as all the Sag Harbor girls will not scoff at it. Arthur Herbert, to surprise himself by stepping out, some night, with a “real flapper.” Malcolm Jessup, to borrow one of Bill Hedges’ little Fords. You know, Mac, girls won’t walk to the movies nowadays. Hazel Mahoney, to get a driver’s license, so as the next time Dick Baird is sick she will be able to use his big Overland. It is a long walk down there when one walks it three times a day. Mabel Overton, to give Everett at least one hour a day to himself. You never can tell, he might need to eat his dinner now and then. Lillian Terry, we think your mild manner is all very well but it doesn’t go with the shieics; we would advise a little jazzing up, short dresses and the proper use of cosmetics, and sometimes chewing gum adds to the appearances. “Beezer” Bennett, you’re a great little shiek and a fine dancer—but we have some stern advice for you: We recommend total abstinance from con- versation with all of the female sex for one year. Margaret Eastwood, gentle though you may be, you should get out on a spree; wink at every fellow you see; show the dimple of your knee; see the Job’s Lane Beauty Shop; and every fellow’s heart you’ll cop. Edward Foster, we advise Edward to take up tennis so that he will be able to keep pace with the champion of Kenka College. Hared Lane, not to think, just because his father is a big policeman, that everybody is afraid of his little son. Edward Whitman, to follow his pugilistic career, perhaps some day he will be able to lick “Issy” Eisner. Adeline Oswick, get very wild some night and take your brother to the movies. It would be a good start, Adeline, and half begun is well done. Evelyn Palmer, don’t go around with a married man (almost)—like Bud Babs on telephone jobs—you’re supposed to be carpentering with Harry Schaus. 23 THE LAST STRAW Edna Greene, we’re afraid to give advice to such a modest, upright girl for fear of corrupting your morals. I think we can leave you safely in your own hands. Ruth Sherman, you’re such a modest little girl that we never thought you’d go wrong. But since you have such a case on our little Johnny Ward we think we shall have to advise some of your larger neighbors to keep tabs on you next year. Mildred McAllister, we advise you to buy a few less curlers for your frizzy, blond hair. We hear that “Beezer” admires the sleek, black hair of a certain young lady in our midst. JUNIOR RESPONSE Oh, Honorable President, and honorable, yes, thrice honorable Seniors, it is indeed with fear and trembling that we, the Juniors, dare to approach your holy sanctuary. We quake, we shiver, we cower, we are convulsed with terror and hysterical with fear. Our hands tremble, our knees weaken, our hearts joound, our countenances pale, and the utmost horror of our atrocious daring creates turmoil within our innermost recesses. Yet we have one consolation, one buoyant force that spurs us on, because, oh noble Seniors, we bear a gift. Not a gift of honor, not a gift of homage, but we give to you that which you need the most and of which you have had the least. We give you ADVICE! Take it, partake of it, retake it, and then take some more of it, for you need all you can get. To Joseph Fanning, your honorable president, we advise him to make sure that the next time he goes for a ride at noon that the gas tank is full. A.s you say, Joseph, Oak Grove is a long way to walk for gas, especially on a warm day when swimming might be so much more pleasant. And also, remember, when giving excuses to Mr. Sabine, that a Hupmobile has a reserve tank. Edna Ellistcn, you must not try all your irristable charms on all the boys in high school. You know, Edna, you ought to at least give the other girls a chance, and besides a certain young man named, Lloyd, might get jealous. Ah, ha, Willard French, most honorable sir, he of the blase manners. Willard, we think you better write a book of etiquette in order that you may discover just what the other authors left out. Lillian Bennett, whatever will become of you if you don’t stop eating? You know .Lillian, it isn’t at all polite to take all the pickles in sight, especiallv when dining in such a noted place as Riverhead. Be careful, Lillian, or you’ll die of acute indigestion. Eugene Baldwin, we advise you, “Gene,” to get a dress-suit to go with your collar. Kathryn McAllister, the next time you go out with Sidney Payne don’t lure him to such “wild shows” as you did in Washington. Just look at the wreck you made of him. Courtland Smith, we advice you to take a chance on an alarm clock in the carnival this summer, so that you may be able to get to school on time next year. Isabelle Downey, we wonder, Isabelle, why you are always seen in the region of Jedlicka’s music store? It must be quite discouraging, after having bought all his reducing records, to find it of no avail. Keep it up, Isabelle, while there’s life, there’s hope, you know. To William Platt, he of the eloquent speech, unruly hair, dramatic poise and pleasant ways. Here’s to a future diplomat. We advise “Bangs” to start a lunch counter. If you trust to your memory to remember your lunch you’ll starve. But nevertheless, may luck go with you. THE LAST STRAW 29 Daisy MacLean. Daisy, Daisy, you must stop trying to vamp “Courty. Don’t you know that he is unvampable? James Lynch, professional amateur shiek, we advise you, “Jim,” to go on the stage in vaudeville. You will not be blamed for the dry jokes you tell because then you’ll be paid. Keep smiling, “Jim,” you’re a professional trouble chaser, and besides, that smile will get you a long ways. Juanita Ryder, “Peg,” we advise you to take up interior decollating. You have mastered the art of exterior trimming. “Save the surface and you save all,” is a good motto, but it isn’t meant for all kinds of work. “Peg,” you ought to be the wisest girl ever for you have asked enough questions to settle any problem. Never mind, they say fools don’t know enough to ask questions. Alice Worrell, we advise you to become acquainted with “Madame X.” You know she really is a VERY WONDERFUL woman. Horace Sanford, leave the women alone, Horace. Your studies are BOUND to suffer if you pay too much attention to wine, women and song. Josephine Banwell, you really ought to become an actress. You could im- personate “Flaming Youth” so well. . Andrew Veeck, stealer of hearts! We think it would be a splendid thing for you to write a travel-log on seeing the country with Lloyd and Edna. Elizabeth Jagger. You know, Elizabeth, face powder isn’t dange.rous even though it sounds that way. Try it some time. Helen Edwards. Do you run a night school, Helen, or are those 15 books you take home each night just for looks? You ought to buy a cart to take them back and forth; they must be heavy. Russell Bailey. “Si,” a willing worker. “Si” has had an active part in every thing that ever happened. To the credit of the school he has added a great deal. To the disturbances in classrooms he has HELPED often. Don’t ever go to a college where a spelling course is compelling. You’d never get out. We’ll remember you as a jolly good scout, “Si,” even if your feet are a long way from your hips. Now that you are out of school you must shave at least once a week, even if you don’t NEED it. You don’t want to rip the pillow case! Roger Stewart • “Here’s to Shinker, A jolly feller— He came to school in rainy weather.” Roger has been to school for twelve years, so has the statue of Napoleon. Both have marble heads, but “Shinker” has REAL hair. Take up a career in the grain and hay business, Roger. Hampton Bays has an opening for another grainery. One thing more, we advise you to work all summer so that you may be able to pay for your accumulated “doctor’s bills.” Bertha Dull, you shouldn’t gaze around the room so much at the boys. They really have to study some time. Helen Sandfr.rd, you mustn’t go to a dance every night in the week. You ought to study ONCE in a while. Seniors ought to set good examples to lower class men. Warren Van Hise “Lives of great men all remind us, We can make our lives sublime, And in passing leave behind us, Footprints on the sands of time.” It is possible, “Histv,” that you may leave the afore mentioned “footprints” on the “sands of time,” but of one thing we are certain, you will leave no thumb marks on the books of this school, except perhaps, on the magazines. Joseph Phillips. “Joe,” you must keep away from the Sag Harbor girls. They’re a wild bunch and you better be on the lookout this trip. East Quogue 30 THE LAST STRAW surely ought to furnish you with all your wants and what’s more, you’re rather small to go so far away from home. Alice Malone, we advise you not to use up so much gas riding around town looking for the opposite sex. You know, Alice, its better to be chased than to chase in this case. Charles Guilloz, and now, last but by no means least, we come to Charlie, athlete, student and an all around good man, for all he has some faults. You go forth into the world, “Charlie,” but you have left an indeliable track be- hind. “Students will little think nor long remember what we say here but they can never forget what you did here.” And as to each and every one of the Senior class of nineteen hundred and twenty- five may we, the Juniors, in bidding you adieu, say that “You have brought honor to your school, gained knowledge for yourselves, and now leave as an inspiration your examples for others to follow. You may need advice but if you do we are not the ones to give it. But we give what we can, our heartiest good wishes for future triumphs and successes. Signed on this day of the war, June nineteenth, nineteen hundred and twenty-five. BY THE JUNIORS. 5 Mu ScHRMJfe Would Have THE LAST STRAW 31 DAILY PROGRAM A. M. 6:00—Clarence Phillips gets up and milks cows. 6:30—Howard Warren still dreams of Liiy. 7:C0—Will Platt arises and shakes Harold. 7:30—Peg Ryder begins to fix her face, hair, etc. 8:00—Harold Platt wakes up. 8:01—Fieshies and “Liz” Terry arrive at school. 8:02—Greenberg catches train. 8:15—Miss Schrader hurries to Room 14. 8:3C—Seniors awake. 8:45—Harold P. finally gets up. 8:59—East Quogue bus arrives. 9:00—Miss Hudson informs us that the “bell has rung.” 9:4€—Mr. Stenson walks through hallway, ten or a dozen times. 10:00—Dick Foster arrives a little early. 10:30—“Bob” Stewart sleeps at beach. 11:00—“Issy” Isnier “tells the world in English. 12:00—Grand rush. P. M. 12:05—Clarence finds his coat on floor. 12:25—Harold and “Peg” do Latin together. (Harold studies human nature quite closely). 12:40—Teachers are seen strolling down Elm Street. 12:50—Mr. Stenson arrives in his “chariot.” _ _ . 12:51—Mr. Stenson flies up steps, three at a time, arrives in upper halL and looks vainly about for someone he can’t find 12:55—“Beezer” and Mildred discontinue talking in balcony as bell rings. 12:56—“Ibby.” Emily, Moses, “Half Pi t.” “Liz” Terry, “Dot” and a few others, talk noisily, hastily, rapidly and qucerly with their hands and tongues, iust at rear Study Hall door. 12:59—George Beeckheit. Everett Halsey and Norman Mercer make “prison file” entrance into Study HalL 1:00—Classes pass. 1:57—“Dody” and “Cocrty” get on Sidneys nerves in English IY. 2:C0—J r .tinner speaks to “Dot” Drew cr the thirteenth time. 2:04—“Dot” informs Mr. Answer that she is not chewing gum. as it is a vulger habit. 2:17—Marie is '-old to take a front seat. 2:18—“Kitty” Alyward giggles and Evelyn Palmer laughs quietly at ? passing remark. 2:22—“Billie” Fordham walks quietly?? to front of Study HalL 2:23—“Dot” Drew is again told to get to work. 2:27—Peggy smiles sweetly and longingly at Harold, after reading hi? last note befo e the belL _ _ 2:40—Miss Blythe freezes everyone by opening all window? in Study HalL 2:50-2:55—Miss Blythe makes her daily round of Study Hall and helps each off her Algebra students. ' ;l©—“Andy’ Cu.nsi.its Miss Blythe for twentieth time. 3:14—Willard parades down aisle to dictionary. 3:15—I ell arc n:ise. 3:30—A !g b: a class yoimg strong. 3:4:—School out, Jwr. Sabine sends every one home (?) 3:50—Clarence again finds coat ©n floor. 4:00—Track practice. 4:15—Eric Osborne woiks in “Lab. 4:3©—Miss Hudson departs. 32 THE LAST STRAW 5:00—Miss Schrader lets Latin class out. 5:05—“Archie” Phillips still in hallway with North Sea lassie. 5:15—Irving thinks it’s time to catch the 4:30 train. 5:45—Freshies do home work. 6:00—Seniors arrive home. 6:30—Irving misses the 6:25 train. 6:45—Archie goes out for the night. 7:15—Harold Vreed goes to movies. 7:30—“Peg” Ryder fixes hair. 8:00—Irving stands on corner waiting for a ride. 8:15—Howard Warren goes to bed. 8:30—Marie Scholz has sweet dreams. 9:00—“Charlie” Mener gets “fixed up” for the night. 9:30—“Dick” Foster and “Dodo” lose their way and arrive in Riverhead. 10:00—Maude and “Bob” go out. 10:50—“Issie” argues about Venus. 11:00—“Peg” Ryder fixes hair. 11:05—“Dizzy” Edwards starts trouble in the neighborhood with his saxa- phone. 11:30—Irving gets a ride in Ford. A. M. 12:00—Freshies dream. 12:15—Eric Osborne believes it’s near time to finish lessons. 12:30—Archie Phillips fixes tire on Ford. 1:00—Irving arrives in Harbor and townspeople rejoice(?) 1:30—Lloyd and Edna ride around town. 2:00—Archie thinks about going home. 2:30—“Dizzy” Edwards curls his hair. 3:00—“Sid” Payne sits in bed reading “Women and Their Habits.” 3:30—“Peg” Ryder arrives home and reads paper. 4:00—“Gene” Baldwin walks from Riverhead. Could not hook ride. 4:15—Court. S. lies awake thinking of his beautiful ( ? ) motorcycle. 4:30—Maude and “Bob” arrive home from Patchogue(?) 4:45—Archie climbs through window. 5:00—Lloyd pulls in wrong garage, forgot he moved. 5:30—“Dick” Foster, Court. Smith and “Dcdo” finally get to sleep. 5:45—“Sid” Payne clears another mystery concerning the weaker sex. THE LAST STRAW 33 CLASS WILL The time of our departure is now at hand. We must go forth and leave the affairs of which we have had charge, in the hands of others. But lest they forget us, who have always been their superiors; lest they allow them- selves to become convinced that they are the only bright lights on the stage of existence; and finally, lest they should forget that the time is coming when they, too, must depart this life (high school life), we, the Seniors, on the last days of our existence, in our last will and testament, leave the follow- ing people the ensuing gifts: BILLY FORDHAM—A motorcycle. (He certainly loves the dust). EDDIE FOSTER—A charm to guide him safely through all voyages from Patchogue to Southampton. IBBY—A Princeton athlete. GEORGE BURNETT—An instrument to prove his innocence in Span- ish. DICK FOSTER—A he man’s sweater so Miss Hudson can wear hers when she so desires. EDDIE WHITMAN—A book on scientific sarcasm in debate. HOWARD WARREN—A book on the latest revised science of sheiking. HAROLD PLATT—An extra year of high school so he can carry out his threat to break every girl’s heart. WILLIS VAN BRUNT—A nice safety razor that will stand daily use. ISSY—A silencer. Now, don’t ask why, Issy. EVELYN PALMER—A marriage certificate jointly issued to her and Harry Sehaus. ADELINE OSWICK—A bottle of tonic to give her a good appetite while working at the soda fountain in Corwith’s. MABEL OVERTON—The promise of eternal bliss and harmony with Everett Voeck, written out in Egyptian Hieroglyphics. MALCOLM JESSUP—A plea to the proper authorities for a ten mile run next vear. Mac can’t quite get warmed up in one mile. ARTTTTIR HERBERT—A spirit on constancy which will permit him to love one girl eternally. “T EN” HAWKINS—Parts for a Ford—we think he needs them. MILDRED Me—A job in the Job’s Lane A P at the side of a certain young man. EDNA GREENE—A bottle of hair tonic for that sleek black hair of hers. ERIC OSBORNE—A permit to use the laboratory all summer and de- velop the “Osborne Theory.” SEYMOUR FRANK—A chance to change his name from Catiline to Virgil. NELLTAN YOUDE—A gift of “Smiles” if she has lost them (him). MARJORIE BUNN—A franchise to run a trolley line from Shinnecock to the high school building—it would save a good many steps. HAROLD LANE—A new patented flesh reducer. IRVING GREENBURG—A steady girl. Such a model athlete should never wear his own medals. It simply isn’t done! ROWLAND SMITH—An incentive to keep up his zeal for study. KITTY AYLWARD—A season’s ticket to those “wild” North Sea Dances she is so fond of. DICK FOWLER—A license—(you guess what kind and what for). LILY PETERSON—One night a week, when Archie Philips doesn’t ask you for a date. LILLIAN TERRY—A season’s ticket on the Baiting Hollow Express to hasten up her courtship. 34 THE LAST STRAW COLUMBUS TERRY—A pair of winged shoes to help him in the mile next year. ALFRED EDWARDS—A package of tacks for use in the forthcoming year. (Miss Blythe will probably confiscate them.) RUTH SHERMAN—A loud speaker. (Not for a radio set.) HAZEL M—Dick’s Overland—she must have become attached to it by now. STANLEY SCERBINSKI—A golf club. MAUDE B—Eight nights a week to see Bob. HELEN ROCHF—A good steady fellow like Dick Foster. ARTIE REINHART—A job as bell hop at the “Irving” for the summer. ELEANOR GALOW-A nice little boy about the size of Harry Street. CARL PHILLIPS—A pill to awaken the call of love in his heart so some girl won’t be out of luck. WOULDN’ IT BE FUNNY IF— 1. Eric took Marie to the movies? 2. Sydney was really girl shy? 3. Dodo didn’t have some clever remark for every question? 4. Albert Griffin forgot and walked natural? 5. Madeline Payne took reducing exercises? 6. Emily fell in love? 7. Dick and Alieth weren’t either scrapping or giggling? 8. Artie and Liz weren’t to school some morning until 8:30 o’clock? 9. Miss Hudson didn’t holler at us as soon as the first tinkle of the bell is heard? 10. Mr. Sabine ever came into Study Hall with a smile on his face? 11. Miss Blythe every said anything but “Sarcastim” to anyone? 12. Miss Schrader didn’t come to school some day? 13. Miss Wolfe and Mr. Smith weren’t found gazing fondly at each, other? 14. Mrs. Sayre naver asked a person in her Study Hall to take his scat? 15. Dot Drew were as angry as she pretends she is sometimes? 10. Mr. Amncr talked slowly once, so that we might understand him? 17. Mr. Charles Smith didn’t accompany the Misses Schcnkel, Bran- nock and Owens to school some noon? 18. Mr. Stenson’s car went as fast and as well as he tells us? 19. Helen Schwenk wasn’t chewing gum? 20. Bessie had a man of her own, just once? 21. Harold and Peggy wern’t occupying the same seat one noon hour? 22. Kathryn Mac didn’t mind being called “Kate?” 23. Carol Schwenk wasn’t whispering one minute of the day? 24. Dodo, Greenburg and Harold really did play hookey that pleasant afternoon in May? 25. Greenburg wasn’t talking about himself? 26. Everyone thought these cracks were funny? THE LAST STRAW 35 PARRISH SPEAKING CONTEST On Friday evening-, May 29, the annual Parrish speaking contest was held in the High School Auditorium. The program was as follows: BOYS 1. Supposed Speech of John Adams on the Declaration of Independence, Alfred Edwards 2. Reply to Mr. Corry ................................. Edward Foster 3. A Call to Arms .................................... Rowland Smith 4. Regulus to the Carthaginians........................ William Platt 5. Rescue of Lygia .......................................... Harold Lane (5. War .............................................. Joseph Fanning GIRLS 1. The Girl of the Golden West .......................... Helen Schwenk 2. Billy Brad and the Big Lie ............................ Juanita Ryder 3. Wee Willie Winkie ...................................... Helen Halsey 4. A White Lily ........................................ Lillian Bennett 5...A Scrap of College Lore ................................ Lillian Terry C. My Little Newsboy ..................................... Esther Street First Prize, Girls—Juanita Ryder. First Prize, Boys—William Platt. Second Prize, Girls—Helen Schwenk. Second Prize, Boys—Alfred Edwards. Judges—Principal C. C. McCall, Hampton Bays; Principal E. W. Shafer, Riverhead; Miss Elizabeth E. Flanagan, Riverhead. Fat Is A S-eYxiohr ovy ike 4. Yrs. Jurr p 36 THE LAST STRAW. A PAGE FOR THE SENIORS TO-DAY Forward, look forward, ambition shines bright, As we launch each our boat with a heart that is light. Steer out on the waters of Life's promising sea To seek each our fortune whatever it be. With hope in our hearts, we take our good-bye. With never a back glance, with never a sigh. Youth in its eagerness, bends to the oars, And heads its frail bark for the unknown shores; Sets forth on Life’s pathway and scattered along Is divided for age with a hope and a song. With youth’s dreams and ambitions, the Seniors set sail, And think of tomorrow its sunshine and gale. TO-MORROW Out on the wide sea and scattered afar— Some wrecked and dejected, some shine like the star. Some foundered and sinking, some bright with success, Smile blithly along and their lucky stars bless, All busily fighting and struggling along With no time for the past or the past’s dreamy song. The sun of the noonday shines down from the sky, And the time worn travelers, on Life’s sea, doth espy, The dreams of the future have faded away, Before them, the home-stretch, Life smiling doth lay, The eagerness fadeth and sloweth the pace; Some drop by the wayside, some hold to the race. OLD AGE The sunset, its last rays o’er the still water casts, And reflects with its glory, the bark’s tattered masts, For of all that first started, there’s a few who still sail, And sunk out of sight are the ones who did fail. In the haze of the twilight that twangs with Death’s frost. The living look back to the ones who are lost. With the journey most ended they pause on the way And think of the past instead of today. Tomorrow’s dream ended, ambition’s hope fled— They think of the past—the past that is dead. After years of Life’s toiling and profit of time, They settle to think as the vesper bells chime. Backward, turn backward, oh, Time, in thy flight! Make me a Senior if just for tonight. Smooth from my old face the care lines away, Bring back the old faces, from wrinkles or clay. THE LAST STRAW 37 Let us all laugh together just as we did then Make us young for an hour—oh, just once again! Backward, turn backward, oh, Time in thy course, Lift from my old heart its weight of remorse. The wide scattered class, bring together again, Though instead of gay youngsters—old women and men, For that girl’s smile departed, my lifetime I’d give, Or a lifetime’s ambition, if the dead ones could live. Finis. DON’TS FOR CHAPEL SPEAKERS Don’t pick out an interesting subject. Don’t shift from one foot to the other. Don’t liddle with your pencil. Don’t twirl your thumbs. Don’t kick the foot-lights. Don’t repeat the same line m re than 20 times. Don t use more than fifteen long words at once. Don t say “and,” “ but,” or ‘‘eh—h” when you forget. Don’t talk more than two periods or less than twenty minutes. Don’t refer to your oration when you forget—stand there, it will come to you after several hours. Don’t jig and don’t step on your own foot. Lon t open or button your sweater. Don’t stand t n your toes. Don’t blink. Don t forget we’re all dying to stay in assembly as long as possible. SONGS WITH OUR INTERPRETATION She’s Everybody’s Sweetheait But Nobody’s Girl............Bessie Miller Nobody Knows What A Red Hot Mama Can Do..................Joe Barnwell At the End of the Road.................................“Courtie” Smith Yeaining Just For?—(Who?) ..................................Andy Veeck You and I.............................................“Artie and Liz” I m Just Wild About Harry.............................. Mariorie Drew Somebody Loves Me ...................................“Eddii” Elliston Kiss Me Again ........................................ Helen Schwenk Left All Alone Again Blues ................................ “Em” Bishop £abyBh,e ....................................................Ask Andy Oh! Those Beautiful Eyes.........................................“Ibby” White My Best Girl (s) .................................“Archie” P. I Love Me..............Leslie Culver, Alfred Edwards, Irving Greenburg That Red Headed Gal..................................“Katie” McAllister Alone • ...................................................... Ruth Raynor My Gal Don t Love Me Any More.......................................Lee Allen Somebody Stole My Gal.............................................“Sid” Payne Follow the Swallow Back Home ......................... East Quogue Oh! Mabel............................................... Everett Veeck 38 THE LAST STRAW Red Hot Mama .......................................................Marie Scholtz I Can’t Get the One I Want—Those I Get I Don’t Want.......Dodo Fanning I Must Have Company...................................... Harold Platt Scotland’s Burning...................................... Daisy McLean Mama Loves Papa; Papa Loves Mama........................Alieth and Dick When You Walked Out Someone Else Walked Right In..........Ross Winters If I Can’t Get the Sweetie I Want. I Pity the Sweetie I Get. .“Moses” Bennett When I Was the Dandy and You Were the Belle. .Mr. Smith and Miss Wolfe When You and I Were Seventeen......................... Willard and Helen If the Rest of the World Don’t Want You, Go Baek to Mother and Dad, Horace Sanford Lazy...........'............................................Monroe Strong WE IDEALIZE No one has more right to tell you what is delightful than we have so we have prepared a pill for you to swallow which we hope will be palatable. We called it a pill but it isn’t, it’s a concocton—no, we’d better call it a conglomer- ation. That is, we’ve cut off the feet, legs, etc., and cut out the eyes, also exti acted the good qualties from the disposition and sifted out the abilities which are best in the various students. The result is in the table below. Put it together and in fair or foul weather, you’ll have a human god and god- dess. Do you agree? Surely. Why? Because we say so. QUALIFICATIONS Height Hair Eyes Build or Form Feet Legs Complexion Appetite Laugh Shieking or Vamping Dress Walk Shyness Manners Wit Mildness Good Nature Optimism Speaking Ability Athletic Ability Studying Ability Musical Ability Dancing Ability OUR IDEAL BOY Courty Smith’s Willard French’s Jimmy Robinson’s Irving Greenberg’s Sidney Payne’s Billy Fordham’s Sidney Payne’s Dick Foster’s Beezer Bennett’s Dodo Fanning’s Dick Foster’s Albert Griffin’s Horace Sanford’s Willard French’s Dodo’s or Alfred E.’s George Burnett’s Greenberg’s Fat Lane’s Harold Platt’s Charlie Guilloz’s Eric Osborn’s .Timmy Robinson’s Beezer Bennett’s OUR IDEAL GIRL Emily Bishop’s Jo Barnwell’s Esther Street’s Dot Drew’s Peggy Ryder’s Helen Schwenk’s Elizabeth Terry’s Moses Rennett’s Mildred Mac’s Edna Elliston’s Peggy Ryder’s Evelyn Palmer’s Elizabeth Jagger’s Any Girl’s Daisy MacLane’s Helen Sanford’s Mildred Duryea’s None Elizabeth White’s Ibby White’s Isabelle Downey’s Kathryn McAllister’s Carolyn Wilde’s THE LAST STRAWi 39 HI SCHOOL DIKSIONARY Study Hall—A place where students gather to see a certain teacher sit up in front at Miss Hudson’s desk. Also, to see if said teacher “gets mad” easily. Cheer Leader—A mentally deranged lad, who waves his legs and arms in the air until the crowd says “Rah! Rah! Rah!” Then he composes himself, only to go off into another spell at the end of 23 seconds. Desk—A stand or box originally meant for study. Used mostly for re- pose. Also a recepticie for candy, vanity cases and writing paper. Football Player—A boy who allows himself to be trampled upon for eight weeks in order to be worshipped by an admiring populace. Hall—A sort of race track or speedway for those who fear being late for classes, since the new “Bell System” was established. Indolence—A state or condition found in all freshmen, some Sophs and a few Juniors. Seniors are immune from it. Junor—Almost a Senior. Can be distinguished from a Freshman by the few books he carries. Knowledge—A word commonly used and preached about, but not practiced to its full extent. Geometry—An endless number of figures, letters and lines, by means of which pupils are supposed to learn how to reason. Office—Abode of principal and secretary. Quiz—A mild type of examination. Pleasure—The one study in which everyone spends most of his time. Assembly—A sacred old custom of the school, yet odious to everyone. Senior—A person who has completed a four years’ course in high school, and who believes himself to be a sort of sun about which move the faculty and lower classmen in complete oblivion. Caesar, Cicero and Virgil—Latin men who wrote prose, speeches and verses, which are only translated correctly by aid of a pony. X. Y. Z.—Terms used in algebra. They stand for the unknown, and are used by the unknowing. Ego amo te—A Latin phrase which is in the minds of all students, but which is only spoken to very close(?) friends. Class Book—A book edited by the Seniors. Supposed to be funny but us- ually “ain’t.” It contains jokes which are already too old to print, and pic- tures of themselves. They think they’re good, we don’t. A LEGEND There is a tale that I’ve heard told, I know not if ’tis true. ’Twas before Courty was so old That he met a girl called Lou. She was a pretty little girl, And Courty fell for her. Her head w„as crowned with many a curl. She made his young heart stir. And Courtland’s hopes rose very high, But she his true love spurned, And dashed his ideals from the sky, His heart to stone was turned. 40 THE LAST STRAW, Poor Courtland said, “Enough for me, Though many girls I meet, A second fool I will not be And bow before their feet.” And so he is the man of stone, No woman’s love wants he; He goes his way and goes alone, Tis the tale they told to me. IN THE EYES OF THE SENIORS Teacher’s Pet—Alfred E. Biggest Feet—Peggy R. Smallest Feet—Em. Bishop. Biggest Nuisance—Lee Allen. Lady Killer—Eric Osborne. Scientist—Eddie Whitman. Gieatest Latin Student—Greenburg. Flatterer—Miss Blythe. Basketball Champ—“Sid” Payne. Human String Bean—Madeline Payne. Our Beauties—Freshies?? Talking Machine—Helen Schwenk. Ideal Student—Elizabeth Jagger. Candy Kid—“Dot” Drew. Puritan Maid—Ibby. Best Looking—We’d hate to say. Why Girls Leave Home—“Fat” Lane. Why Boys Leave Home—Bessie Miller. Biggest Bluffer—Isabelle Downey. Best Argurer—Issy. Biggest Fusser—Kate Mac. Shortest Girl—Eleanor Galow. Tallest Girl—Carol Schwenk. Quietest Girl—Marie Scholtz. Noisiest Girl—Helen Sanford. Head Workers—Arthur Crippen. Roger Stewart, Monroe Strong. Noisiest Boy—Columbus Terry. Quietiest Boy—Hairy Lilywhite. Best Looking Boy—Willard, of course! Nicest Bunch—Ourselves. THE LAST STRAW 41 GREAT SAYINGS OF LITTLE KNOWN PEOPLE Mr. Sabine (in Senior meetings): “I would suggest, etc.--------” Miss Hudson: “The bell has rung.” Miss Schenkel: “Now, people, if we can’t have less noise- Miss Schrader: “The lesson for tomorrow will be---ad infinitum.” Miss Owens: “Ah—there will be a meeting of the —a—etc.” Miss Schwenk: “Pitch your voice low.” Mr. Stenson: “Yes, my home town is the best, etc.—‘y°u know!’” Mr. Smith: “Now, we’ll have it quiet!” Mr. R. Smith “Keep on playing, I must go up to the office.” (We don’t need to guess who’s office). Mrs. Sayre: “Now, everyone sit down, the bell has rung. Yes, you too, Norman.” Dot Drew: “I could tear my hair.” Miss Blythe: “Just because my name is Blythe, you needn’t think my disposition is, too!” AS ALBERT AMBULATES Now, Albert had a little walk, He certainly thought it “some!” And everywhere that Albert went, “That walk” was sure to come! It took him to a fire one night, And Albert and his “gait”— Got there, of course, but sad to say, Albert was frightfully late. We notice Albert’s little walk, It always is the same. He scuffs his feet, and swings his arms; You’d think that he was lame. Now, Albert is stuck on “his little gait,” And to prove it—he walks alone; Now next time you meet Albert—gaze on— “A walk that’s all my own!” A NIGHTMARE Sidney sat beside her And she sat upon the couch, And softly to him sang a song, That eased poor Sidney’s grouch. Then Sidney lost his gloominess, As he felt a gentle tap. And gently lifting her aloft, He sat her in his lap. But not a word was spoken, As together there they sat; Sid stroked her flossy silken hair, For she was but a cat. 42 THE LAST STRAW THAJT LAST KISS My girl kissed me with her hoof; Way above the barn she raised me, I came down upon the roof! Landing, quite completely dazed me. Now I’m “bent” and “badly broke” From the wounds she did inflict me. Say, it isn’t any joke— My girl kicked me! BUG HOUSE FABLES Mr. Sabine—“Oh, yes, you can skip classes, but not too often.” Miss Schrader—“No lesson for tomorrow. Your work has been excellent for two days, class.” Miss Hudson—“Won’t you please stop talking, people. Of course, 1 don t mind if you whisper.” Mrs. Sayre—“You may talk in my study hall without permission. Miss Blythe (in geometry)—“Not being sarcastic, I really believe you’ll pass the examination.” . I. Greenburg—“I know positively, that I can’t beat Charlie in the hun- dred. Issy Isiner (at Olympia)—“Boys, the treats’ on me—go the limit; I don’t mind!” . Fat Lane—“I am convinced you are right. I was wrong all the time. Eric Osborne—“I haven’t my lessons for today. I went over to Marie’s last night.” Beezer Bennett—’“No, I never fool my time away. 'Study hard, is my motto always.” Court Smith—“Oh, I iust love girls, especially the ones in our Senior class—they are too sweet for words.” “Don” Stevenson—“To tell the truth, I think I played pretty badly on the town team this year.” Helen Schwenk: “Yes, to really admit it, I’m bored to tears with Willard Frenche’s company.” Albert Griffin—“I know my dancing is extremely out of date. I must insist that Sidney teach me some new steps.” “Eliz” Terry—“Artie Reinert is the worst pest I ever knew.” Andy Veeck—“To tell the truth, I didn’t enjoy the Senior trip very much. That Edna Elliston bothered the life out of me.” Moses Bennett—“No, I don’t care for anything to eat, thanks. You know, I’m no great eater.” Marie Scholtz—“I love the boys in high school. They always ask you to Proms. They all dance well, too.” Mr. Richa- d Smith—“No. I don’t care for blonds. They are too fickle ” Archie Phillips—“Say, this year’s Senior class is great! compared to ours. I think their play was better, too.” Ibby—“Gee! you know, I think George is terrible awkward looking when he tries to play baseball, after I’ve seen Harold Platt play shortstop.” “Bob” Stewart—“I’ll have to go over to Hampton Bays some time. I’ve never been there.” Bill Fordham—“I just love motorcycles they are so cute and harmless.” Sid Payne—“Those girls in Washington hated me, T l.n v. I couldn’t seem to wi ■ th 'u aff Lions.” Bill P'ench—“Nr, I’m no kind of a tennis placer. I simply pretend to know the game.” THE LAST STRAW 43 IT SHOULD BE THE HEIGHT OF— GENEROSITY—For Sidney Payne to tip himself a nickel every time he shined his shoes. OSTENTATION—For Horace Sanford to wear a green, blue, yellow and purple checkered sweater with pink and white socks and black and white shoes. COURTESY—For Dodo Fanning to rise from his seat in the Southampton- East Quogue trolley and offer it to “Si” Bailey’s female poodle. HUMILITY—For Willard French to publicly proclaim that he is inferior to all creatures that walk or crawl. AGONY—For Harold, while seated comfortably in chapel to hear Dodos booming voice proclaim: “Harold wants to sing‘Juanita.’” COURAGE—For any high school boy to calmly turn his back on his girl’s father while he is threatening to kick the seat out of his pants. IDIOCY—To tell Miss Schrader if she doesn’t make you work harder you’ll never pass the examination. EQUITY—For Lloyd to lend Andy money with which to take Edna to the movies. AMBITION—For Roger Stewart to sit up all night studying his lessons. QUIZ FOR OUR AVERAGE PUPIL 1. Give the date of the War of 1812? 2. Who is the author of Shakespeare’s “Macbeth?” 3. Tell about the Swiss navy. 4. Who built Noah’s Ark? 5. What was G°or ?e Washington’s fi:st name? 6. Who wrote Dante’s “Inferno?” 7. Where did Niagara Falls? 8. When you bail watei', where dees it go ? 0 Ur� on what theme doe- +he “Essey on Roast Lamb” treat? 10. Can you stretch a rubber tree? 1 . V hv did Abraham Lincoln die when he was assassinated? 12. Does beechnut gum grow on beechnut trees ? WHAT ALL SENIORS KNOW Who the best natured teacher is. How best to spend one’s time in the halls before school. How to make a good impression the week before report cards come out. How to make a complete recitation without preparation on the subject. How to avoid being called on in class. How to prolong a discussion on a well known subject when Mr. Sabine is present. How to make a lasting impression, and a very good one, at that, on Mr. Sabine. How to please all the teachers. How to obtain a smile from Miss Schrader when one is sure she knows one’s lesson is not prepared. How to graduate from high school in four years??? How much his knowledge is underestimated. How to make an extemporaneous speech in assembly, which Miss Hudson will not have to correct in class the next day. 44 THE LAST STRAW How to make their teachers admit that they do not know the answer to a question which they have asked the class. How to correct their teacher’s mistakes so that said teacher will thank them cheerfully, and in all good will. FICTION OR TRUTH “Recollections of Royalties” . “Seventeen” ................ “The Sayings of the Children” , “Empty Pockets”.............. “Excuse Me” ................. “Pedlar’s Ware”.............. “Wide Open Eye”.............. “That’s That” ............... “The Venture”................ “Plastic Age” ............... “From Infancy to Childhood” “How to Prepare for Europe” “The Woman I Am” ............ “The Love Toy”............... “He Was a Man”............... “Dead Right”.......... “The Spring Flight”....... “The Treasure” .............. ......................... Senior History . . When true love comes to young hearts ..................Recitations of Freshmen ............After you take your girl out ............Willard’s favorite expression ..................................Tickets ............'............... Miss Blythe- .............Mr. Smith’s favorite saying ......................A bluff in Latin class .............................Bob Stewart .....................................Dody ........................Study your French ........................Helen Schwenck .........Mr. Smith’s story to Miss Wolfe ........................ Senior President .............Issy Isiner’s versed opinion? Dody’s, Harold’s and Irving’s afternoon of! .........................Our Class Book LAUGHS AND GROANS “Histey”—“What’s the most deadly poison?” Joe Phillips—“Potassium cyanide.” “Histey”—“Naw, embalming fluid. You’re dead before it touches you.” .. , “Len” Hawkins entered Fordham’s Drug Store and asked the assistant if he could recommend a good method of killing moths.” “Try moth balls,” said the young assistant. “Oh, they’re useless,” remarked Len. “I bought some last week and I couldn’t hit one of the bloomin’ things with them.” Marjorie Drew: “They tell me you love music.” Harry L.: “Yes, but never mind. Keep on playing.” Little Beezer B.—'“Mother, may I have a nickel for the old man who is outside crying?” Mother—“Yes, dear, but what is the old man crying about?” Beezer—“He’s crying ‘salted peanuts, five cents a bag!’ ” . , — Then you did go to the Sunday School class meeting last night?” Billie Fordham—“Yes, my dear.” Carolyn—“And they stuffed your pockets with lavender garters just to be funny?” Bob D.: “Wouldn’t your father be willing to help me in the future?” Maude: “Well, he said he wanted to kick you into the middle of next week. THE LAST STRAW 45 Miss Blythe—“What would your father pay if he owed the baker $J, butcher $4.50, the milkman $6, the grocer-” Eddie Foster—“Nothing; he’d move.” Mr. Stenson (playing tennis): “Sorry I did not give you a better game. The fact is, I had a rather bad headache.” . . Miss Hudson: “I have never yet beaten a man who was in pei ec health.” FAST LOVE Dody and Dottie went cut one night In Dody’s bran’ new machine; They went quite far, in Dody’s car, But ran out of gasoline. Willaid (in National Hotel)—“But, my dear sir, I woke up this morning and found three big leaks over my bed!” , „ ._ piopiietor—“Just as we advertised, just as we advertised. Running water in every loom.” Archie Phillips was reading alcud his lesson in physics: “In the enthusiasm of the discovery, Archimedes jumped out of the hatn, shouting, ‘Eureka! Euieka!’” Archie—“What does Eureka mean, mama?’ Fond Parent—“It means, T have found it!’. ” Archie—“And what did he find, mamma, the soap? Mr. Sabine: “Richard, you were absent yesterday a. m.” Dick Foster: “I know it.” “Hear your cook quit, Jack.” “Yep! My Swedie Went Away!” Albert G—“I hear you’ie going to wear a wing collar to the masque ball.” Henry F.—“Yes, I’m going to be an angel.” “Si” B.: “Well, the girls won’t get out and walk on Charlie any more.” Gene B.: “Why not?” “Si” B.: “He’s bought a boat.’ ’ Alieth’s Father—“How is it, young man, that I find you kissing my daughter? How is it, I say?” Dick—'“Oh, it’s great; it’s great!” Courty S.—“Say, Dodo, is your girl a good-looker?” Dodo F.—“I’ll say she is. She c n find me any time.” Andy V.: “Say, does your watch tell time?” Mr. Stenson: “No, you have to look at it.” There was a young lady named Lizzie, Whose beau used to call her “his dizzie.” When he’d ask the sweet miss, For a hug or a kiss, 46 THE LAST STRAW Issy—“Where are you going with that goat, little boy?” Artie Smith—“Down to the lake. Come along if you wanter see some fun. This here goat has just et a crate of sponges, and I’m goin’ down to let him drink.” Pullman Porter to Jim Lynch—“Do you wish to sleep head first or feet first ?” Jim—“If the price is the same, I’d just as soon sleep all over at once.” “In Love with Loving” “The weary student fusser, Pursues his bits of pash, With a maximum of women, And a minimum of cash.” A foolish young Freshman was he, And he said, no more plugging for me. I’ll pass, never fear, But at the end of the year, His average was just twenty-three. Greenburg bought a pony, Miss Schrader found the pony; Slow music. Kindly omit flowers. Mr. Amner in Spanish III—“Decline, ‘her little white hand.’” When correcting: “Well, where’s the plural?” William P.—“There’s no plural to that.” Charlie G. (translating French): “Speak not a word.” Mr. Ammer: “You wouldn’t say that if you were speaking to anyone; what would you say?” Chailie: “Shut up!” Miss Blythe—“Here’s pi in this equation. How do you dispose of pi, Andrew?” Andy V.—“If I were down at Em’s camp, I could give you a practical demonstration.” Harold P.: “A man is drunk when he has had seven glasses of beer, ac- cording to a judge.” “Courty” S.: “Well, I’d make it more.” Mrs. Sayre—“In the United States there is a circulation of over $597,- 108,847 in gold. Have you got much of that, Marie?” Marie S.—“No—er—er not much.” Mrs. Sayre: “Is Mr. Washington a socialist?” Dot Drew: “No, he’s an angel. He died several years ago.” The Juniors know more than you suppose. The Juniors do more than you suppose. People like the Juniors better than you suppose. Even in their unusual costumes they look nicer than you suppose. (This sounds foolish enough, goodness knows.; “Dodo” (in the dining room of the National Hotel): “I found a fly in the soup just now, waiter—that was a mistake, I suppose?” Waiter: “Oh, yes, sir; it should have been in the current c'V r.i !” Williard—“If I were to steal a kiss, what would you say?” Helen—“What would I say? My lips would be sealed.” THE LAST STRAW a Clarence P.—“Do you believe in signs?” Emily—“Yes, indeed.” Clarence P.—“Well, last night I dreamed you were madly in love with me. What is that a sign of?” Emily—“That’s a sign you were dreaming.” Critical youth, Willard: “Yes, your ‘Good Samariti .1' is not bad, but I don’t like your drawing of the ass—in fact, I think I cou make a better ass mvself.” A village parson’s daughter eloped in her father’s clothes. The next day the “Village Blatter” came out with an account of the elopement: “Flees in Fathers’ Pants.” When Mr. Smith asked Alfred how he would proceed to determine the height of a building with an aneroid barometer he received the following re- ply: “I would go to the top of the building, tie a string to the barometer and lower it to the ground. I would then measure the length of the string, which would give me the height of the building.” Dick Foster: “Whatcha do last period?” “Courty” Smith: “Took part in a guessing contest.” Dick: “But I thought you had a test in physics.” “Courty”: “I did.” Mr. Smith—“I’m offering a prize for the laziest boy in school and I think you will get it.” Arthur Crippen—“All right. Roll me over and put it in my back pocket. Moved by an impulse he could not resist, he suddenly kissed her: “Oh, Harold!” she exclaimed, “That’s not right.” “I’m sorry, Peggy,” replied Harold, humbly. “I did the best I knew how. Won’t you show me the p.cper way?” Roger (reading history): “Bull Run! What a funny name! I wonder why did the bull run?” N'Tlian: “Perhaps, because he saw the cowslip.” Alice M.—“When Ralph proposed to me he acted like a fish out of the Joe B.—“Why shouldn’t he? He knew he was caught.” Sidney: “Miss Ryder, may I have your hand for the dance?” Peggy: “Yes, if you promise to keep off my feet” Isidor—'“Doctor, I want you to prescribe for me.” Doctor (feeling his pulse)—“There is nothing the matter, young man; you only need a rest.” Isidor—“Now, doctor, just look at my tongue; just look at it now. Say, what does it mean?” Doctor—“I think that needs rest too.” “Watch your step, miss,” cautioned the conductor on one of the higher- up cars. “It isn’t necessaiy!” snapped the incoming passenger. “That bunch of sapheads on the curb is doing it for me.” “Albert—“It’s only natural, isn’t it?” Henry—“What?” . Albert—“That a fellow who sits on a tack should make a few pointed remarks.” 48 THE LAST STRAW Father: “I notice that Charles kissed you again tonight. I tell you I don’t like it.” Ibby: “Perhaps not, but Charlie does.” Mrs. Hicks was telling some ladies about the burglar scare in her house the night before. “Yes,” she said, “I heard a noise and got up, and there, from under the bed, I saw a man’s legs sticking out.” “Mercy!” exclaimed a woman, “The burglar’s legs?” “No, my dear, my husband’s legs. He heard the noise, too.” “He is the most tender-hearted man I ever saw.” “Kind to animals?” “I should say so. Why, when he found the family cat insisted on sleeping in the coal bin, he immediately ordered a ton of soft coal.” Mrs. Gadder—“Amandy Brown told Sue Perkins that I was a sneak and always prying into other people’s affairs.” Mrs. Blabber—“How do you know?” Mrs. Gadder—“Heard ’em over the telephone. I always listen when them two cats is talking together.” Evelyn P.—“Boo hoo! Henry threw a cake at me. One that I made my- self, too!” Mother—“The monster! He might have killed you.” Robby (proudly)—“We’ve got a baby up to our house that just came the other night.” Elsie (disdainfully)—“Ah! that isn’t anything stylish. They’re common things; our washerwoman’s got one.” There were muffled sounds of a struggle in the next room, then a girl’s indignant voice said, “Stop!” No lesponse. “Oh!” she pleaded, “Please don’t. Let me go this minute.” More struggle. “Oh! Oh! OhP’ “One more yank and I’ll have the tooth out,” came the calm assurance of the dentist. KRAZY KRACKS I. Word—Intruder. Her father threw him out the door but he climbed intruder window. II. Woid—Inventor. The mother dived into the river and inventor six children after her. III. Word—Analysis. John is a boy’s name, analysis a girl’s name. IV. Word—Bruno. The law says, “Bruno alcoholic liquors.” FUNNYBONES The proverb is “Talk is Cheap,” but I didn’t find my telephone bill cheap. THE LAST STRAW 49 ADIEU Ye classmen who behind us are and even freshmen tarry, And hearken to the message that our parting song doth carry. As through these halls which in our toil we long since learned to know, We walk and wander back again to the days of long ago. For now our work is all but done, our course is nearly through, And half reluctantly it is that we must say adieu. We see another summer come as many a one before, But when it fades away to Fall we will return no more. We’ve welcomed many a June with ioy and vacation skys of blue, Put now half hcartedlv we meet the month of our adieu. We see you underclassmen smile when the year’s hard toil is o’er, And see the cloud upon your face when you return once more. So, too, we felt in years gone by, but now that we are through, Our faces cloud a little bit when we must say adieu. We know that, were we Juniors now, and this the month of June, We would not think the booky toil had met its end too soon. But when we cease to do the things by custom taught to do, It seems a little strange to us to tell it all adieu. We don’t forget the anxious hours we spent in grinding toil, And sometimes we have seen, with joy, tne last few months uncoil. So, though regretting, yet with joy, we leave the high school stew, And to our pleasures and our toils—to both—we say adieu. If we go back and search our minds and try to call to light The day when, to our foreign gaze, seemed strange this well known sight, We’d search through many familiar scenes and searching through and through Treasured recollections find, twixt then and our adieu. So halls and class-rooms where we toiled and where we had our pleasure, At times you seemed to be our curse, at other times, our treasure, And Freshmen, Juniors, Sophomores and worthy teachers, too, Tonight, to all, we say good-bye, to all, we say ADIEU. THE LAST STRAW Compliments of Duryea Baird THE LAST STRAW When we reflect upon the life of a community the quality of the water used is of fundamental importance. Water from the wells of the Southampton Water Works Company bears no evidence of chemical or bacter- iogical pollution. It is highly recommended by chemists and health authorities for general domestic purposes. SOUTHAMPTON WATER WORKS COMPANY THE LAST STRAW First National Bank of Southampton, N. Y. Capital and Surplus - $250,000.00 All Banking Facilities INTEREST DEPARTMENT TRUST DEPARTMENT SAFE DEPOSIT BOXES AND VAULTS FIRST NATIONAL BANK of Southampton, N. Y. THE LAjST STRAW Compliments of The Corwith Pharmacy Corwith Ellsworth, Proprietors Tel. 15 Main Street Southampton, N. Y. THE LAST STRAW BUICK H. M. WELLS SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. TEL. 487 “Say It With Flowers” Chas. E. Frankenbach Sons Garden Accessories Lawn Mowers SEEDMEN FLORISTS SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. TEL. GREENHOUSE 786 STORE 640 THE LAST STRAW Compliments of THE HAMPTON MANOR BASSO’S RESTAURANT “The Home of Good Food” FIRE, THEFT AND LIABILITY INSURANCE TELEPHONE 621-W C. ARTHUR PAYNE REAL ESTATE AND APPRAISER SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. Compliments of ARCADE BARBER SHOP SAM MICARI, Prop. THE LAST STRAW AUSTIN’S JOB'S LANE LUNCH ROOM DELICATESSEN CONFECTIONERY TOBACCO TELEPHONE SOUTHAMPTON 253 THE IRVING GARAGE SOUTHAMPTON, L. I. Compliments of ALDRICH CO. TEL. 579 SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. W. G. CORWIN Jeweler, Stationer, Optometrist SOUTHAMPTON, L. I. THE LAST STRAW Hampton Garage and Supply Co CHEVROLET CARS PARTS AND SERVICE Replacement parts for all cars, Ignition Parts, Mc- Quay-Norris Pistons, Piston Pins, Bearings and Rings; Stromberg Carburetors, Gabriel Snubbers. HOOD TIRES AND TUBES What YOU Want. We Have It. TEL. SOUTHAMPTON 320 L. W. RULAND Auto Supplies and Repairing All Grades of Oil Large Stock of Tires CORNER OF HAMPTON ROAD MAIN STREET THE LAST STRAW THE ELIZABETH BEAUTY SALON HAIR BOBBING TEL. 928 Marinellp System MAIN STREET SOUTHAMPTON The Southampton Press BOOK AND JOB PRINTING This pamphlet is a sample of our work TEL. 21-R JOB’S LANE THE LAST STRAW Compliments of SOUTHAMPTON COAL PRODUCE tel. 153 SOUTHAMPTON SOUTHAMPTON AUTO SALES, INC. CHEVROLET SALES SERVICE AUTO PAINTING, UPHOLSTERY BODY BUILDING REPAIRING DOERING BROS., INC. SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. TEL. 678 E. T. WALDRON LADIES’ SPORT WEAR INFANTS GOODS TEL. 387 MAIN ST. THE LAST STRAW Everything- in Music Victrolas and Victor Records Musical Instruments BUESCHER SAXAPHONES HARDMAN STERLING PIANOS AND PLAYER PIANOS Q. R. S. PLAYER ROLLS LATEST SHEET MUSIC SINGER SEfWING MACHINES RADIOS Job’s Lane, Phone 65-J Tel. 625 JEDLICKA BROS. WHERE YOUR HEART IS YOUR PHOTOGRAPH OUGHT TO BE THE MORRIS STUDIO Portraits of Quality TEL. 85-M SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. A. SCHWARTZ TEL. 35-J MAIN ST., SOUTHAMPTON SOUTHAMPTON DRY CLEANING ESTABLISHMENT All kinds of delicate materials in Ladies’ and Gentlemen’s Clothing Cleaned by the latest Up-to-date methods. LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S MADE-TO-ORDER AND READY-MADE CLOTHING THE LAST STRAW L. B. DAVIDOW JOB’S LANE EVERETT B. BROCKETT Director of Funeral Service SOUTHAMPTON Compliments of HOLDEN’S STATIONERY SHOP ASHMONT MARKET FRANK W. McGURN, Prop. High Grade Meats of All Kinds Poultry and Game in Season JOB’S LANE THE LAST STRAW Cbmlplimients of S. E. EDWARDS SONS Compliments of G. L. GILSEY CO. PHONE 687 ANDREW HRASKO The Family Shoe Store ALSO FINE SHOE REPAIRING WORK GUARANTEED JOB’S LANE SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. OLYMPIA HOME MADE ICE CREAM AND CANDY TEL. 783 SOUTHAMPTON MAIN ST. THE LAST STRAW Donated by GILMARTIN BROS. MARKETMEN TEL. 760 Compliments of CHARLES F. EDWARDS LAUNDERER ESTABLISHED 1887 I. F. SKINNER SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. SEA FOOD RECEIVED DAILY FROM MONTAUK AND LOCAL WATERS PHONE 203 RESIDENCE PHO ’E 114-W S 0 U T HAJMiPTON 587 WILLIAM H. HEDGES, Pres. FORD The Universal Car Hedges Auto Sales Co., Inc. AUTHORIZED SALES AND SERVICE SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. THE LAST STRAW TELEPHONES 241 882 PRIVATE PARTIES HOTEL AGAWAM and RESTAURANT Southampton, L. 1., N. Y. “On the Sunrise Trail” J. BUCHHEIT, Manager S. F. SCHRADER Taxi Service and Baggage Transfer WINDMILL LANE TEL. 345 SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. Interior Painting Exterior ALBERT MINNE Formerly with Hayden Company and Chas. R. W. Rinschede FURNITURE PAINTING, DECORATING, POLISHING A SPECIALTY MEETING HOUSE LANE TEL. 649 SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. Compliments of ALEX. CAMERON Plumbing and Heating PHONE 259 SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. THE LAST STRAW HALSEY-VAN SCOY AUTO CO. Agent for Cadillac SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. E. M. CARTWRIGHT E. D. HEDGES CARTWRIGHT HEDGES First Class Ford Repair Shop NUGENT STREET TEL. 140 SOUTHAMPTON Compliments of SOUTHAMPTON BANK WM. I. LA FON, Jr. Architect CAMERON B’LD’G. SOUTHAMPTON, PH ONE 412 LONG ISLAND THE LAST STRAW SCHWENK’S EUREKA MEAT MARKET, INC. MEATS, POULTRY, FRUITS AND VEGETABLES PHONES 185 and 186 MAUN ST., SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. TEL. 337-J WHITE JENNINGS Dealers in Groceries HILL STREET, NEAR ART VILLAGE, SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. HARRI M. HOWELL Searches, Abstracts and Loans Compliments of THE STYLE SHOP Everything for Ladies THE LAST STRAW, THE LAST STRAW To Encourage Lawn Tennis Among the Pupils of the School WE WILL RESTRING THEIR RACKETS — At Special Rates — HARRY LILLYWHITE SON TEL. 21-W HILL STREET Compliments of W. B. PLATT Fruit and Vegetables SOUTHAMPTON TEL. 26-R “On the Sunrise Trail” JOHN A. HERRICK HARDWARE Quality and Service SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. Compliments of A. E. MILLER Jeweler and Gift Shop THE LAST STRAW OSCAR F. FANNING Attorney and Counselor at Law SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. THE ELECTRIC SHOP ADOLPH GULDI SON Ever.) thing Electrical Willard Storage Batteries MAIN STREET SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. Cwniplimieiits of ROBINSON BROS., Inc. Plumbing FORDHAM - ELLISTON Painting SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. TEL. 894 THE LAST STRAW SOUTHAMPTON BAZAAR MAIN ST., SOUTHAMPTON, LONG ISLAND A variety of everything for the housewife 5c, 10c AND UP DONNELLY CORRIGAN Builders and Contractors SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. A. S. OSBORNE INSURANCE AGENT “The Office of Service” AUTHORIZED BUICK SERVICE PHONE 790 F. J. MUCKENSTURM SOUTHAMPTON, N. Y. THE LAST STRAW i Compliments of E. A. H. HILDRETH THE IVES COMPANY INC. “Anything in Southampton Real Estate” FOR SALE, LEASE OR RENT W. K. DUNWELL HENRY SGHWENK E. BENSON IVES Compliments of WALLACE H. HALSEY Compliments of SCHOLZ BROS. BAKERY THE LAST STRAW FORDHAM’S PHARMACY TEL. 1 MARSHALL G. HAY Stationer I am now receiving my new stock and trust that I might have you call at my new location, ODD-FELLOWS’-MASONIC BUILDING HAVENS WILDE Contractors and Builders SOUTHAMPTON F. W. BURNETT Footwear Fashions Neat designs that please the eye. Leather and colors that fit the need. Sizes and widths that fit the foot. And prices that are reasonable.