Southampton High School - Sea Spray Yearbook (Southampton, NY)

Text from Pages 1 - 84 of the 1923 volume:

TAPS SOUTHAMPTON, N.Y„ JUNE, 1923 CLASS MOTTO: “Aequitas est Potestas” CLASS COLORS; Blue and Silver PUBLISHED AT THK SOUTHAMPTON HIGH SCHOOL BY THK. MEMBERS OF THE SENIOR CLASS OF ’23 HIGH SCHOOL FACULTY DEDICATION To Winifred Rayfield, who was a member of the class of ’23, we dedicate this book. TAPS 7 Class Officers CORTLAND G. SMITH ADELAIDE CORWITH BESSIE FRANK .... GRETA OSBORNE . . . . . President Vice-President . . . Secretary . .. Treasurer Editorial Board GRETA OSBORNE ...... ADELAIDE CORWITH --- MARION HALSEY ...... ELIZABETH MANSBERGER NANCY CAMPBELL ...... FRANK SCHUG .... --- MR. SABINE ......... ........... Editor-in-Chief ......... Assistant Editor ......... Assistant Editor ......... Assistant Editor ......... Business Manager Assistant Business Manager .......... Faiculty Advisor Editorial We, in this High School, have probably heard some of the alumni say sadly, “I don’t know what that sichool is coming to. Now, when I went there—” yet without a doubt it has improved. Each class is the heir of all preceding classes, taking for it's own most of the best features of them, evolving some new ideas of its own, and so leaving a richer heritage for its successor. No doubt some good things that ought to be perpetuated are forgotten, and some foolish things invented, but as a whole the trend is onward. Forms and customs are changed and modified to suit changing times and needs. Activities and interests of the pupils do not remain the same: they vary and multiply. Sometimes there is ground for accusing the student body of allowing school spirit to die out, but those days of darkness, whiich, as they come upon all people, m;ust be expected to come upon us also, (as Mr. Webster would say), are fleeting. Soon the flame of school spirit will spring up brighter and stronger than before. In our own day we have seen progress—for example, S. H. S. now publishes a school paper, which it did not do before, when it had some- times a space of its own in one of the town papers and other times none at all. We ourselves started what we hope will become customs—the Junior-Senior Banquet and the Junnior-Senior Debate. In spite of all that we say and in spite of our boasts, we do not really think that the Juniors are dumber than we or that no future class 8 TAPS will surpass ours. It would be sad indeed if these things were so. What is it to us that we shall be surpassed by some other class? We shall be glad, for it will show that Southampton High is getting better. In our day we have done what we could. “When the sun has sunk to rest In the cradle of the West, In the sky will proudly float The Red and White.” And may it have cause to float more proudly with each succeed- ing year. Class History Backward, turn backward, O Time, Like the hands of a watch in the turning, Backward unto aeons forgotten. To those dim, distant ages When entered this class as Freshmen Into a life filled with things then unknown. Yea, we saw' then the Seniors As creatures of a different race, Haughty and noble, walking with lordly steps On the empyrean heights of Olympus. Now, ourselves attaining the summit, We see, and are made to see By bands of Freshmen, no longer humble As those in the days now departed for ages, The feet of clay, on u'hich understanding, We walk on the mount long desired. As Freshmen and Sophomores we toiled, We labored, we studied, we played. Of us, some walked with Caesar and lived; Some handled contrivances of steel, Cunning machines, by which. letters are written; Some tore their hair in madness to find The values of X and Y, things unknown. Many wept tears and gnawed pencils, Trying to solve theorems, Spinxlike, Egyptian. We sought to speak in the tongues Of nations far distant, of France and of golden Spain. Ones of our class strove for our school On athletic fields, on the stage, in the opera. All these things we did, but as Juniors We surpassed ourselves; we worked as before, But also we did things strange to Juniors aforetime. We struggled with the Seniors, the Lords of Creation, TAPS 9 In fun and rivalry; yea, we spread for the masters A feast, in return for their kindness ne’er forgotten— On the eve of All Hallows, they gamboled with us. We bought a banner of shining silk, Silk blue as the heavens, and silver as the pale moon. We went through the valley of Regents, emerging To sit in the seats of the mighty, which behold, No longer were mighty as in thought we had painted. Money of the realm we collected with toil, And with it did journey into a far country, Seeing strange sights and returning full Of wondrous tales;'—At last leaving these portals To make tales—great or small, none knoweth. AUTHOR’S NOTE: Not marble, nor the gilded monument's of prince� Shall outlast my powerful rhyme. lEDITOR’S NOTE: Ye Gods! Powerful! That isn’t the word for it. It knocked me out for two hours. To the Class of ’24 About the Trip to Washington; If you want to know, Whether it’s proper to test the power of your lungs on the train, ask the Seniors. Whether you should take a sightseeing trip around the city at 6 p. m., ask Nancy, Marion and Elizabeth M. Whether you should find more attractions in the hotel across the way than in your own, ask Cortland and Frank. Whether its nice to go home at 3 a. m., ask Wince. Whether you should pay full fare in the trolley car, ask Alice, Adelaide and Eleanor. Whether it is good etiquette to fall into someone’s arms while on the trolley, ask Adelaide. Whether the best time to clean shoes is at 4 a. m., ask Nancy and Marion. Whether you should make much noise in your hotel room, ask Frances, Greta and Augusta. Whether you should look like a chaperon, ask Mliss Tuthill. Whether you should buy neck supporters before going into the Congressional Library, ask anyone. Practical Physic� Miss Schrader (after buying candy which had not been weighed, but charged for)—When I get home I’ll find out how much you cheated me. E. ManSbergen—JBut you miust rememjber that you live on Hill street, and weight decreases as altitude grows greater. 10 TAPS Class Statistics of June, 1923 Silence ........ Giantess ...... Dunce ......... Saint .......... Chatterbox Bluff ......... Noise .......... Bashful ........ Faculty Pet . . . Shark .......... Butterfly ..... Class Terror . . V amp ......... Cherub ........ Lamb .......... Delicate Flower Bleached Blond . . . Adelaide Corwiith ....... Bessie Frank ..... Greta Osborne . . . Nancy Campbell ..... Frances Balnis . . . . Augusta Halsey . Trumayne Marshall ..... Clarence Deim . . Winston Jennings ..... Cortland Smith ..... Marion Halsey ...... Mary Sakowicz . Elizabeth Campbell ........ Frank Schug ........ Alice Webb Elizabeth Mansberger . . . . Almira Topping In a parlor were three, My girl, a lamp, and me. Three’s a crowd without doubt. Wasn’t it nice when the lamp went out? Silently, and one by one, In the record books of the teachers, Blossom the little zeros, The forget-me-nots of the pupils. My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank, The height of the contents to see; He lighted a match, to assist him, “Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.” Twenty Freshmen grew up fast Seniors they became at last All were dunces in the lot— Every lesson they forgot. Now they sit in other schools Teaching other little fools. Go put your creed into your deed, Nor speak with double tongue. Little Joe Barnwell (at circus)—Oh, father, see the elephant take up the peanuts wth his vacuum cleaner! Miss Tuthill (while coaching the Senior Play)—Willard, you keep your profile toward the audience too much. I wish you’d change your face onice in a while. I’m tired of it. TAPS 11 What Would Happen If Clarence Deim stopped talking? Miss Tuthill wore a hat? Cortland Smith didn’t irritate Miss Hudson in English IV? The English. IV class mlade good use of their study period? Mr. Edkins came to school early? Henry Burnett had his French done? Nancy Campbell didn’t blush? Bessie Miller didn’t continually gaze towards the back of the study hall? Shorty W olinski were serious? Business English were solemn? Ella Topping refrained from making bright remarks in English IV? History B class ever studied? Harry Frank, Joseph Fanning and Benny Tuthill didn’t question the technicality of French grammar? Bessie Frank were angry? Frank Schug and Cortland Smith weren’t interested in Millerton ’ The girls of the Senior class didn’t like Washington bus drivers? Bud McAllister couldn’t answer a question in Physics? Certain boys of the Geometry class refrained from talking? The freshies walked downstairs? Helen MlcAlIister had as many dates as she claimis? Nancy Campbell curled her hair? Emily Bishop didn’t like rolls? Every boy danced with every girl? Miss Hudson took longer steps? Dick Baird had his Algebra done? Willard French were not so polite? Gerretta Skinner were not looking for Wince Jennings? Ibby White didn’t talk about Billy? Mr. Bartholomew did keep any one later than 4 p. m.? Lester Fanning didn’t know everything? Archie Phillips missed a dance? Dot Terrel wasn’t smiling? Pro. Herbert didn’t have an “angelic” expression? People didn’t think this book dumb? Conductor (to noisy Seniors)—A little less noise, please. Chorus—Oh, why? Conductor—My foot’s asleep. E. Campbell—I can make a billion dollars. Huh! You! You couldn’t. E. Campbell—Oh, yes indeed, little children. I could make it if I worked in the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, but I couldn’t spend it. TAPS 12 Our Gallery FRANCES M-ARY BALNIS—“There is great ability in knowing how to conceal one’s ability.’’ Ladies and gentlemen, to the side you see a picture of Frances Mary Balnis, a worthy Senior of '23. She is a most in- dustrious scholar, and a model of behav- ior for all wild Frosh.es. We can’t decide in which subject she excels. Frances, it’s hard to know what to say. Since we can’t find a lot of faults to enumerate, as we very easily can for some, we just want you to know that you have our best wishes for success. ELIZABETH BENiNETT CAMPBELL —“A lady kind and mild.” Betty (she doesn’t like that, but she detests “Lizzie,” therefore we take the lesser of two evils), Essie, we should say, is one of our most sophisticated and polish- ed animals— except once in a while. She has labored hard and faithfully to capture and retain the fugitive knowledge that lurks here. Go thou and do likewise reader, and be wise. She it was who christened our school paper when both she and it were new in High School, leaving it as a remembrance of her. Bon Voyage in life, Mademoiselle! NANCY ETHEL CAMPBELL— “I cannot check my girlish blush, My 'color comes and goes.” Another of the notorious Campbell Kids. “Petunia” is some actress; if you don’t believe it, ask her and see for yourself; and as for being a mimic, no simian could surpass her. She is some speaker too; who has not heard her from the Senior Room to the lowest regions? We recom- mend you to try a dose of Nance for a sour disposition. Favorable results guar- anteed. She works as hard as she flirts, which is saying quite a lot, you must ad- mit. Three cheers for Petunia! TAPS 13 ADELAIDE EOiSTEiR GORWITH— “Silenice is of the gods, Only the monkeys chatter.” Who knows not Skipper and Patricia Puddlejumiper? What fire is th|ere, O Catiline, what game, at which she has not been present? How many times has she not sworn at thee, or confounded the race and doings of the magna numina of the Aeneid? How mjany questions has she not asked in Spanish class? In what mischief have not her fiery locks been seen? But let us speak no evil of the great'. She was our President when we were Juniors and she worked hard for us. Now she is ou Vice-President. She is warranted good natured, human, full of fun, and full of pep, so Viva! Viva Adelaide! RUTH LOUISE CULVER—“Hail to thee, blithe spirit!” What do we see herewith? All together now! One, two, three! A pretty picture! Whose is it? Ruth Culver’s! How do we know? We’ve seen her before! Yes, so have we, truth to tell. She is one of the famous three, the Culver kids, as we all knowi She decided, a very short time ago, to graduate in 1923, so we hustled her off to have her picture taken so that you might enjoy it. Wasn’t that kind of us? Good luck, Ruth. CLARENCE CARLTON DEIM, of Wa- ter Mill— “M uch study is a weariness o fthe flesh: Let the world slide.” Friends, Romans, countrymen! Behold the vacant space where his picture should have been! Sad, sad, is it to see the blank that should have been so fair. Never- theless, let us commend him for his kind- ness, for he says that he did not have it taken so we might not have to endure the humiliation of comparing his classical fea- tures with our deformed ones. He is a silver-tongued orator, a wondrous debator (by the way, doesn’t he exercise his talents in the Senior Room, while teasing “Sophy”?) and ;an ardent (aah-dent, should I say?) student of Latin. He is badly bitten by the, at present, ubiquitous radio bug. Amlong his other accomplish- ments Rocky is a runner, and not as bad at basket ball as he might be. Sir, may you lose some few faults, and gain many honors, so fulfilling yourself. 14 TAPS BESSIE FRANK— “A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men.” The real name of this person is Eliza- beth, but we didn’t put it down because nobody would have known it—we our- selves didn’t until a month agO'—anyhow, it’s too big and dignified a name for a small piece of humanity like this. Who ever saw Bessie when she was really angry, spitting and sputtering like “Sophy,” for instance? No one. Who ever saw her laugh with her pencil at her mouth? We did! Who says so? Everybody! She is another of our numerous brilliant stud- ents. Here’s hoping your “dainty little feet” carry you far! MiARY AUGUSTA HALSEY—“And there came a fair maid from a distant land!” We’re not as well acquainted with Au- gusta as with most of the other 23-ers, since she just started to come to our finishing school in January. Therefore, readers, we’re sorry to disappoint you. No, absolutely not. We cannot publish any scandal concerning h,er. Keep on reading, though; there are others to come whose slates are not so clean. Gusta is still another in our galaxy of academic stars, and moreover, her piano-playing is like the famed “music of the spheres.” Here’s to a demure good sport. (By the way, her dwelling is in Sagaponack, if that knowledge will help you out.) MARION ELEANOR HALSEY — “Like a circle ending never Does her tongue run on forever.” This beauty is variously referred to as Mary-Anne, Nela and Spika—0 yes, and as “my little dark-eyed girl.” Then too, she is an ex-Water Mill-ite, so her abilities are explained. She is one of the firm o “Nance and Nela,” a partnership some- times, or rather very many times, on the verge of dissolution, but having wjthin it an efTi|cient self-healing element. In English class she shines by means of her poetry and romantic prose, and in the Senior Room by ready speech. Ihe Class of ’23 hopes that there will never be a time when you cannot say “I’m glad that I’m glad that I’m glad...........” TAPS 15 WINSTON BURNETT JENNINGS— “W'hat thou art we know not.” This smiling orb is a son of Water Mill and is one of the star athletes of S. H. S. Oh, and lately he has developed a taste of romantic moonlight. Altogether, he seems quite heavenly, don’t you think? Winston is now a polished man of the world, very different from the shy, wild thing of the woods that came here years ago. He is no dunce at studies, as witness his success- ful battles with Caeser, Cicero, Geometry and various other foes of the High School mind’s ease. We hope you make as many goals in the game of life as you have in football— not to mention points in basketball. ELIZABETH MARIE MANSBERGEF —“I laugh, for hope hath a happy plaice with me.” Reader, you are wrong! This is not a reproduction of one of the fair ladies of a Van Dyke painting; it is our own Lizzie, the famous Ima Lemon, writer of songs to the tune of the “Sheik,” and a well known character in these halls of learning. A year or so ago she had a serious heart attack, but we are glad to say she has recovered. One black mystery is attached to her, however. Hsst! What became of the souvenir you bought at the drug store in Washington? Not a woid or the jig is up, perfessor! We wish you all success, Elizabeth; in- deed we do. MILDRED TRUMAYNE MARSHALL— “She worketh diligently and knoweth not vain idleness.” Trumayne is a very quiet and indus- trious citizen of our community, doing all that she is supposed to do without the noise and ostentation of the rest of us. She is musically inclined, too, we hear, and may have other talents of which we know nothing. May you profit by them Classmate. 16 TAPS GRETA LOUISE OSBORNE — “Whence is thy learning? Hath thy toil O’er books consumed the midnight oil?” Gaze long upon this honest countenance, friends, for to her hands is entrusted the care of all Senior funds. Moreover, she is the editor of this class book and is, like all (?) other mem'bers of this class of ’23, very studious. We hate to have to tell you that Greta is at times rather noisy. (For further information see Manager of Potomac Hotel, Washington, D. C.) Greta has one great failing—her weakness for magazine salesmen (one in particular). However, despite all bad qualities, the class of ’23 bids Greta heartiest washes for the successful career which it knows is in store for her. MARY AGNES SAKOWICZ— “The thing that goes the farthest Toward making life worth while, That costs the least and does the most, Is just a pleasant smile.” This is Mary, the sunny tempered, the good student, the sweet warbler of songs. A few more epithets might be added but we refrain. She is a great linguist, hav- ing taken Latin, Spanish and French, but fortunately is not very loquacious, or we might be overwhelmed. What more can we say than to you we have said? FRANK JOSEPH SCHUG—“A cool, hard man was he.” Frank Schug’s is the Countenance that you see herewith. Yes, reader, with much trouble and after many pursuits did we capture him, take him to the photograph- er’s, have him shot, and preserved so that you might have the pleasure of gazing upon his likeness. Frank is very popular, especially with the Freshmen girls, whom he amuses by telling-err, fairy stories, we shall say. He is a good student, too. In sooth, he is altogether a pleasant youth. Our parting wish is that you get along as well in the world as you have here, and your path will be smooth. TAPS 17 CORTLAND CRAY SMITH— “All great men are dying— I don’t feel very well myself.” This is Cortland, President of the Senior Class, treasurer of the Roys’ Ath- letic Association, former editor-in-chief of the Red and White, a member of the football team for several years, twice on the debating team, winner in Parrish Speaking Contest and singer in various operettas, to mention a few of his numer- ous activities. Some slanderous ones say he is a megalomaniac. Judge ye. But, by the way, his shoes are less mud-stained from wandering beyond the narrow path than those of very many who dwell here. The efficient administration of these affairs does not burden him with care—as witness his smile. Moreover, he has an excuse for not having his lessons done. Who has not heard him say plaintively, “Honest, I didn’t have time. Gosh, look at all the things I have to do, and I have to sleep sometime.” He is subject to severe heart trouble, having spasms of it at fairly reg- ular intervals. One of his latest was in Washington. He has had more than three and hasn’t died yet, so we may hope that he will survive to benefit the world with hn talents. ALMIRA CELESTIA TOPPING— “All things I thought I knew but now confess Ti e more I know, I know I know the less.” Almira comes from Bridgehampton— yea, even the uttermost parts of the ear' I ontribute to our school. Sh.e, like Augusta, strolled in here in January, so we haven’t had time to make her out. 'But from what we can see, she’s O. K., willing to do her part, “be it ever great or small,” as one of our class songs says we all. .ahem. . do. Best wishes for lo futuro. 18 TAPS ALICE EVELYN WEBB— “A voice so thrilling ne’er was heard In springtime from the cuckoo-bird.” This winsome face belongs to our re- nowned golden-throated song-bird, a sweet warbler, you’ll agree, and a piano-player of no mean skill; a heart-breaker, a reg- ular stone-crusher, it is whispered; and a basketball player too. Alice, in spite of her diminutiveness and good nature, al- lows no one to impose upon her, indeed not. May your life be as long as you are short, and as happy as you yourself, lady Alicia. EDWARD STANLEY WOLINSKI— “Rare compound of oddity, frolic and fun, Who relishes a joke and rejoices in a pun.” Reader, this is he who is still called Shorty (though the name no longer ap- plies), who has condescended to say that he will graduate with us. This strange icharacter carefully and persistently hides many ti'aits that he does have and dons others that he doesn’t have—a sort of Jekyll and Hyde proceeding. Brother, be yourself and wie can call you “Kim.” “We only ask this little spot In which to write FOR-GET-US-NOT” Class Will There are some things which we have (and some which we have not) that we believe can be of infinite service to those who follow in our footsteps. That which we would will you, were we but able, is that which unfortunately (or maybe it is fortunate, at that) can not be inherited thus easily. KNOWL- EDGE must be gained through effort on your part. We had to get it in that way and so must you. However, realizing that our end is near, and being in full possessions of our mind (as much as we ever have been) and revoking all wills made by us heretofore, do declare this our last will and testament. And hereby do distribute and bequeath our property real and imagined, as follows: TAPS 19 ADELIA STEWART—A book on “How to Learn the Magic Charm.” KENNETH AVENS—A voice amplifier that he may make his progres- sive thoughts heard in Spanish class. HAROLD (ARCHIE) PHILLIPS—A life membership in the Pool and Poker Club, also some means of conveyance to and from Bridge Hampton. EDNA FREDERICKS—The largest bottle of the largest pickles now on market. WILLIAM M’ALLISTER—A Ouija board guaranteed to answer any question or problem concerning which he may feel any doubt. WILLIAM SMITH—A lump of coal, two empty oatmeal boxes and some wire, that he may be happy in a new radio set. HENRY BURNETT—A Ford of his own so that he won’t have to borrow his father’s when he wants to take a few girls riding after church, etc. HARRY FRANK—The privilege of sitting and studying in the Senior Room. We sincerely hope, Harry, that when we are no longer there it will be quiet enough. ANSELY ELLISTON—Another bank book, to add to the collection we have seen her carry. AMANDA RULAND—A nice, big man so she won’t have to rob the cradle any more. GERRETTA SKINNER—Two hours for lunch in order that she may have time for digestion and conversation. PETER BALNIS—A pair of snowy angel’s wings as a reward for his excellent behavior in Study Hall. ANNA HAYES—A set of records of Walter Camp’s Daily Dozen. Peo- ple say that they really work wonders. LESTER FANNING—A book of ever so many questions to ask in French class, in case you forget some of your own. HELEN M’ALLISTER—A cute little veil to wear to dim those frequent blushes—an officer of the Senior Class should be hard and cold—Look at ours. GENEVIEVE ROCHE—A mirror with which to look at the angle of her ear puffs. EMILY BISHOP—A large roll as a reward for her part in making the Junior-Senior banquet a success. EUGENE SANDFORD—A large cap. That red and white one really seems rather dinky to crown such a regal form. HELEN BRUZDOSKI—The seat right in front of the teacher’s desk in the Senior Room, so that she may be kept in order more easily. JOSEPH PHILLIPS—Just one more season ticket for the East Quogue bus. EDNA ELLISTON—A pretty bow to keep permanently. Remembering that there are some in this school to whom we owe much and to whom we are grateful for all that they have done for us while we were yet with them, we would, and do hereby, bequeath to them, as follows, that they may remember us after we have gone ad imas umbras: MR. SABINE—A more intelligent Physics class. MISS HUDSON—A box of anti-sarcasm pills. 20 TAPS MISS SCHRADER—All the dear, sweet little Freshmen that are com- ing in. MR. WILEY—A package of chewing-gum to keep on hand for emer- gencies. MR. EDKINS—A vote of thanks for looking after the Juniors, and one of sympathy for all the trouble we know he had doing it. MISS TUTHILL—A bottle of “Fletcher’s” Castoria; no other kind will do. MISS HALLER—A bunch of noisy people to say “good merning” to, so she will feel quite at home, wherever she may be. M. GOBEL—A nice Cicero book to study, MISS GARDINIER—A big, big five-cent piece, and a ten-cent one big’s it ought to be. MISS ROUNDS—A beautiful motto inscribed with the familiar (to her especially) words: “Say it with flowers.” GALLEY SIX—S. H. School MISS TERRELL—The privilege of getting her domains invaded and cleaned (?) up by next year’s Seniors. Then she will appreciate us more. MR. BARTHOLOMEW—A bottle of No. 6 disinfectant. If it kills chol- era germs in five minutes, it surely ought to kill measle germs. We name Mr. H. F. Sabine as executor of the will, giving him full powers to decide all points that he legally may, arising from disputes over the lega- cies bequeathed. Executed here in the Town of Southampton, County of Suffolk, State of Insanity, one of the States of Humanity, this twenty-second day of June, in the year nineteen hundred and twenty-three in the presence of three required witnesses. Hereunto we do set type and printer’s ink. Members of the Board of Education, faculty, ladies and gentlemen: Tonight marks the end of our connection as a class with Southampton High School, but not, O surely not, the end of our remembrances of it or of the people who have here done so much for us. We have come to appreciate now, if we did not before, the patience and friendliness our teachers have shown us though we have not always been deserving. At this point we wish to thank our principal, Mr. Sabine, for the kindly guidance that he has given us during the four years both he and we have been here. The school board and the people of the town both deserve our gratitude for their interest in and generosity toward us—it is not every community that has such a spirit toward its high school students. This do I attest This do I protest This do I destest CLASS OF TWENTY-THREE. IVAN OFFULITCH. CAULA MOFF. SIR TAYNE LEE TAPS 21 Years ago we learned reading and writing and ciphering, and have here sharpened the tools of this knowledge to keener edge so that we may the better shape the structure of our lives. But we hope that we have learned something more than this, something of our responsibilities and the ways of their fulfillment, of our duties as well as of our privileges, so that we may be better citizens. And now we, the members of the Class of Twenty-Three, wish to thank you all for the many things that you have done for us and to say that we will try to merit your kindness in as much as we are able. GRETA OSBORNE. Salutatory Tonight, the eve of our graduation, marks the realization of our fondest hopes and highest ambitions. The path has not been an easy one; it has had its uphill and downhill grades, but by diligent effort we have overcome these obstacles and finally reached our destination. Throughout the four years of high school life we have looked forward to the moment when we, the Class of 1923 might welcome you to our Commencement Exercises and now that this time has arrived, in behalf of my classmates, I bid you, the Board of Education, you, our parento and friends, a eT WITH- Senior Index NAME LOOKS REALLY IS Cortland Nice Pest Mary S. Frivolous Business-like Augusta Scared Intelligent Adelaide Wise A “bluff” Elizabeth M. Love entangled Gone Elizabeth C. Quiet Hectic Greta Average Shark Almira Vamp Shy Trumayne Studious More so Frank Little Less Nancy Funny Funnier Marion Sharp Flat Winston Bashful Heart breaker Bessie Young Childish Alice Debonair Coy Clarence Simplex Duplex Frances An owl A gay bird PASTIME Marcelling his hair. Shorthand Virgil Talking Reading Novels Making faces Reading the Psalms (?) French Lessons Girls Marion Nancy Making love Growing up Flirting Cicero Reading Latin romances 22 TAPS A L’Alphabet Pour Les Enfants is for Adelaide, of whom it is said, She is certainly proud that her hair is red. B is for Bessie who takes home so many books— Although I’ve heard it’s just for looks. C is for Clarence, oh yes, and for Cicero too, For Clarence without Cicero wouldn’t know what to do. D is for dumbbells, the Juniors it must be, E For they are a class of that degree, stands for Elizabeth; yes, two in our class, One always trying the other to surpass. F is for Frances, w'ho likes not to relate. The day she failed to translate first rate. G is for Greta whose chief fun H Was vamping boys in Washington, is for Halsey, Augusta so bright, I W'ho simply loves (?) to study Virgil all night, yes, in cahoot—Henry can explain, Instead of studying he plays that game. J is for Jennings, Winston I mean, Who without Catherine never is seen. K stands for Kendall, Mr. Edkins I should say, Who teaches the Juniors to go the right way. L —Well, that’s telling; Lydia, I guess, Ask Cortland—he may well confess. M '—that means Marion, and Mary too, Who always seek folly. Sad but true. N is for Nancy and ’tis no joke, When her picture was taken the camera broke. 0 is “Overland,” Almira’s delight, P In which she does joy-ride every night, is for Potomac, the Seniors’ abode, When they weren’t visiting across the road. Q is for quantity, the Freshies it must be, For they’re not quality as far as I can see. R is for Regents, the Seniors all dread, And when we get through we’ll all be dead. S is for Sehug, Frank is the one, Who gets such nice letters from Miillerton. T is for Trumayne; what she likes best, Is that there’s going to be a Physics test. U is for Uke—Rocky’s delight, V With which to go serenading every night, is for Victory—the Seniors’ aim, For we are a class of notable fame. TAPS 23 W is for Webb, Alice, who enjoys To sit in Algebra next to the boys. X is for—'well, Edna’s latest beau, We don’t see him around; where did he go? Y is for yelling, which we do at a game; Whether winning or losing we do it the same. Z is for Zeal, which made us the best, We’ve surely excelled all of the rest. Washington and ’23 “Be at the Long Island Waiting Room of Penn station at 12:30 on Thursday, April 5.” Those were the orders and everyone was there, you can bet. The 1:10 for the Capitol that day carried some giddy crowd. , On the car with us were the Senior Classes of three other High Schools from different parts of New York State. Our class was one of the largest, if not the largest, in the group and by far the most lively. Say friends, if you think S. H. S. is slow or dead, just try another school for awhile and you will be more than glad to come back again. We were forced to furnish amusement for the whole train during the whole trip. Our best efforts did not succeed in getting any life out of that crowd. Songs, cheers and yells followed one another from our section of the car but none were answered. I don’t want to bore you with a lengthy detailed account of what we did and what we saw. You would neither appreciate nor remember it so Why should I trouble myself? We all agree on one point at least. That is that Washington, D. C., (which., for the benefit of the Freshmen, means District of Columbia) is a very beautiful city. You can’t get lost in it because no matter where you may be you can always see the Capitol Building and by it you can easily find your way. While I think of it may I ask whether anyone can tell me how many electric lights there are in the dome of the Congressional Library? Personally the Pan-American Building interested me more than any of the other places we visited, unless perhaps, the Smithsonian Insti- tute. This Pan-American Building is a combination of Spanish architec- ture and South or Central American Indian art. It was there that the Washington Conference was recently held. One of the Seniors bad the nerve to remark that the hall where the conference met would make a good dancing floor. The trip from Washington to Mt. Vernon and back was very in- teresting and enjoyable. Jokes? Oh, yes, those “cute little boys” did tell a few. Unfortunately a photograph which Frank took of Miss Tuthill didn’t come out well and so we can’t show you how pleased she was to be in such good company as the Seniors really are. 24 TAPS The most exciting part of the trip occured shortly after midnight, Saturday, when Winston Beverly Jennings suddenly discovered he had to get the next train for New York City in order to be home by Sunday noon. He said his father wanted him, or some such thing, but the fond look he gave Catherine’s picture, which, by the way, was never out of his sight, makes us doubt the truth of this explanation. So he went to Union Station and returned to the hotel about 10 o’clock, informing Frank and me that he was going to take the 2:45 to New York. About two o’clock he left the hotel, satchels and all. Frank and I immediately went to sleep. About 3 o’clock a suit case sailed across room number 446 and in walked Beverly. The train (2:45 to New York) was a B. O. and Wince’s ticket was Pennsylvania R. R. Thus endeth the sad tale and we wonder what Catherine thought when Wince didn’t appear as per previous arrangement. At 11 o’clock Sunday morning the class of ’23 said adios and au revoir to Washington, that is, all except Frank and Cortland G. For some reason or other they missed the train and had to come on the 3 o’clock. While waiting for the next train these two amused themselves by taking in a magnificent fire. Please note the the words “taking in” in this case mean “witnessing” and must not be taken literally. As a whole the trip was very successful and Miss Tuthill sure was a very good chaperon. For the benefit of you of the Faculty, Board and Fond Parents, let me say that you need never worry about the behavior of your little darlings. If you are at all interested in their having a good time don’t sick some antique on them. I’ve done a lot of talking and haven’t said anything, which is us- ually the way with people like myself who try to tell about something of which they know very little at best. Forgive me this time and I won’t trouble you ag ain. ALGERNON. General Knowledge As We Know It The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Habeas Corpus act was that none needed to stay in prison longer than he liked. The plural of spouse is spice. The heart is located on the west side of the body. A circle is a line which, meets its other end without ending. Gender shows whether a man is masculine, feminine or neuter. Vapor is dried water. Gravitation is that which if there were none we would all fly away. TAPS 25 An angle is a triangle with only two sides. Shadows are rays of darkness. Wind is air in a hurry. The Greeks planted colonists for their food supply. A Kaiser is a stream of hot water springing up and disturbing the earth. What Every Senior Thinks He Knows Who the best teacher in school is. How best to spend one’s time in chapel. How to make an impression the week before reports come out. How to avoid being called on in class. How to make a recitation without study. How to graduate from High School in four years. How much his abilities are underestimated. How to prolong the chapel period. How to correct the mtistakes his teacher makes. How to please the study hall teachers. And that after graduation his worldly knowledge is complete. A History Quiz We Might Pass 1. Give the date of the War of 1812. 2. From what province of France was Joan of Arc? 3. Who is the author of Macaulay’s “History of England”? 4. What two Countries were participants in the Spanish-American War? 5. In what season of the year did Washington spend his winter at Valley Forge? 6. Tell about the Swiss navy. Q-rious Questions Upon What did the “wagon spring”? From whence did the “peppermint drop”? How long did the “Tammany ring”? And where did the “organ stop”? Oh, where did the “postage stamp”? And what did the “cotton hook”? Oh, where did the “sugar camp”? And what did the “pastry cook”? For whom did the “paper weight”? And why did the “thunder clap”? Oh, where did the “roller skate”? And what did the “ginger snap”? 26 TAPS How Fast Can You Say It? If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot To talk ere the tot could totter, Ought the Hottentot tot To be taught to say ought Or ’naught, or what ought to be taught her? If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot Be taught by a Hottentot tutor Should the tutor get hot If the Hottentot tot Hoot and toot at the Hottentot’s tutor? Literary Corner “They Call Me Carpenter” ............................... Mr. Wiley “A Tale of Two Cities” The story of the Senior trip to N. Y. and Washington “Comedy (?) of Errors” ................ Freshman’s Latin test paper “Seats of the Mighty” ........................ In the Senior Room “The Way of Ambition” ........ Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, SENIOR “Sartor Sardonicus” The fellow who collected the athletic garb of S. H. S. “Vanity of Human Pleasure” Essay written by a Gay Bird who was caught “The Judgment House” ........................ • The Office “The Crisis” .. .................;..................... Taking Regents “A Far Country”........i.........................Miss Cook’s home town “Kindred of the Dust” ................................. Girl’s Gym shoes “Friend of Caesar” .................................. Miss Schrader “Innocents Abroad” ................... Seniors on Main Street “Les Miserables”. .Those who sit on the mourners bench during rhetoricals “In the Golden Days” ......... When we were Juniors in Physics Lab. “Meditations of Marcus Aurelius” What Mr. Bartholomew thinks about in Study Hall “Murders in the Rue Morgue” . . . Freshmen hazing in the upper corridor “Pleasures of Life” ..................... At the Junior-Senior Banquet “Salt of the Earth” .......................................... The Faculty “We Two” ...................................... Eleanor and Raymond “Wormwood” ............................................... Flunkers’ diet “The Celebrity” .............................................. Mr. Sabine “Battle of the Strong” ................................... Football Game “Terrible Temptation” ................................... To buy a pony TAPS 27 '‘Freckles ...................................... Mr. Kelly, the Frosh “Age of Innocence” . ................................. Sophomore year “Brimming Cup ............ What we don’t get at the hot lunch counter “The Captive Herd .......................................... Everybody “Rough Hewn” .............. The work of some manual training students “Foursquare” ....................................... Mr. Edkin’s policy “The Dim Lantern” ..................... The illumination of Physics Lab. “Wanderer of the Wasteland” .................. C. G. Smith, of Tuckahoe “Great Expectations” ......................................... Freshmen “PilgrinPs Progress” ....................................... Sophomores “Hard Times” ............................................... . Juniors “On the Heights” .............................................. Seniors “Paradise Lost” .................... School after the Washington trip “Little Men” .......................... Clarke Smith., Gerald Herbert “Little Women” .................... Julia Sakowicz, Helen Frankenbach “The Lady Bird” .......................................... Miss Tuthill “This Freedom” What some people enjoy when the teacher is out of Study Hall “The Covered Wagon” ................................ The Water Mill Bus “The Man Who Knew Too Much” ............................... Any Frosh Malum Opus Prope ripam fluvi solus A senex silently sat. Super capitum ecce his wig, Et wig super, ecce his hat. Blew Zephyrus alte, acerbus, Dum elderly gentlemen sat; Et a capite took up quite a torve Et in rivum prociecit his hat. Tunc soft maledixit the old man, Tunc stooped from the bank where he sat, Et scipio poked in the water, Conatus servare his hat. Blew Zephyrus alti, acerbus, The moment ft saw him at that: Et whisked his novum black wig In flumen, along with his hat. Ab imo pectore damnavit, In coeruleus eye dolor sat; Tunc despairingly threw in his cane, Nare cum his wig and his hat. 28 TAPS L’ENVOI Contra bonos mores, don’t swear; It is wicked, you know (verbum sat), Si this tale habet no other moral, Mehercle! you’re gTatus to that. Boyibus kissibus Sweet a girlorum. Girlibus likibus Wanti someorum. Pater puellibus Enter pariorum, Kiko pueribus Exibus dorum. Nightibus darkibus Nonnus lamporum, Climibus fencibus, Breechibus torum. Odds and Ends Where does a farmer keep his pigs? Why ask? In the ink bottle, because he puts his pigs in the pen and then puts the pen in the ink bottle. Izzy (in Latin)—Miss Schrader, can nouns be declined in Latin? Miss Schrader—Why certainly you can decline them. Miss Schrader (next day)—Isidore, decline collis. Izzyi—Oh, yes ma’am, with great pleasure. Silence. Miss Schrader—Hurry up. Decline it. Izzy—I did. I don’t want it, thank you. That’s one of the words I didn’t get to, and you said that I could decline Latin nouns. But I will accept one if you give me one I know. Nancy (one stormy day)—One session today. Joyful chorus of Seniors and Juniors—Really? Nancy—iSure. One-half this morning and one-half this afternoon. Harry F. (practising in Room 12 for Senior Play, very dramatic) — Sit down. Don’t move! Don’t breathe! Every moment may be our last! And Alice Webb jumps up from the decrepit ruin that served for a chair just as it collapses. “Yeh, up where I’m going the Froshes get free board.” “That’s nice.” “No, not by a long shot! The free board is the shingle the Sophs use on the Froshes.” TAPS 29 “When my soles wear out I’ll be on my feet again,’’ said the tramp as he went on his way. She—‘“My husband is so jealous, I make it a practise always to dance with plain-looking people.” He—“A good idea. I always follow that rule too.” “Mary, please go and see whether the butcher has pig’s feet,” said her mistress. Mary, returning, declares, “Well, mum, I couldn’t see. He had shoes on.” “Have you forgotten now that you owe me $10?” “No, but I will if you leave me alone long enough.” Susie Green (in physics)—Gee, this is a studious class. Henry Burnett—Yeh, we’re all stewed. H ow Come? iMiss Tuthill (while coaching the Senior Play)—Now, Alice, you must kiss him. Alice W.—Oh, I don’t need any practice for that. “Why do they open the windows during exercises?” “So we can throw our chests out.” Now I lay me down to rest, Thinking of tomorrow’s test, If I should die before I wake, Then I’d have no test to take. Senior—Am I a little pale? Frosh—No, you’re a big tub. Notice seen on Bulletin Board day after: Frosh resting as com- fortably as could be expected. “Don’t cry little boy, you’ll get your reward in the end.” “S’pose so. That’s where I always do get it.” “I think I should have named my boy “Flannel,” said Mrs. Black. “But that would be carrying folly to extremes,” said Mr. Deim. “Oh, no. He always shrinks from washing.” Absent-minded pro±: “Now I shall show you the interior struc- ture of a frog.” Opening package, disclosing two hamburger sandwiches: “Why I am sure I ate miy lunch a few minutes ago.” Lester__’Can a person be punished for what he has not done? Mr. Bart.—Why no, of course not. Lester—Gee, I’m glad, because I haven’t got my French done. 30 TAPS “I’ll bet that old hen is hard-headed.” “Hard-headed? Why, she’s the original Plymouth Rock.” ’23:—You ought to be an aviator. 24:—Why? ’23:—Because you’re no good on earth. Junior—Pm doing my best to get ahead. Senior—Heaven knows, you need one. Emily B. (at banquet)—And we’ll try to follow in your footsteps. Clarence—Say, if your’e going to try to follow in mine, you’ll have to get smaller feet. Housewife—Say, I don’t want you to send me any more of those stocking steaks like the last one you delivered. Butcher—Whatta you mean, stocking steak? Housewife—Why, next to shoe leather. Alfred Edwards—Can you imagine anything worse than having scarlet fever and diphtheria at the same time? Mr. Goble—'Yes, I can easily imagine some things worse than that —for instance, rheumatism and St. Vitus dance. “Well, Mr. Wolinski,” said the doctor, “how are you feeling this morning?” “Much better, thank you,” replied Shorty, “the only thing that troubles me is my breathing.” “Um, yes,” meditated the doctor, “we must see if we can’t find something to stop that.” Know the Success Family The father of Success is Work. The mother of Success is Ambition. The oldest son is Common Sense. Some of the other boys are: Perseverance, Honesty, Thoroughness, Foresight, Enthusiasm and Co-operation. The oldest daughter is Character. Some of the other girls are: Cheerfulness, Loyalty, Courtesy, Care, Economy, Sincerity and Harmony. The baby is Opportunity. Get well acquainted with the father of Success And you will be able to get along pretty well With the rest of the family. Theatrical Review TAPS 31 “Clinging: Vine” ........................................ Edna Elliston “Lady Butterfly” ........................■............... Anna Hayes “Whispering Wires” ................................ Beezezr and Lillian “Flappers of 1923” ...................................... Culver Kids “The First Thrill” ......................■...................... Regents “It is the Law” ...................................... Miss Schrader “Cinders” ........................................... Howard Warren “Give and Take” ...................................... Shorty Wolinski “Jack and Jill” . . . .,...................... Catherine and Winston “Little Nellie Kelly” .................................. Greta Osborne “Romeo and Juliet” ............................... Cortland and Lydia “Rain” ............................................ • • Helen Edwards “Secrets” ....................................... Micky and Edna E. “Seventh Heaven” ........................................ Washington “The Wasp” .............................................. Lloyd Griffin “The Cat and the Canary” ........................|. • Gene and Isabelle “The Exile” ......................................... Liz. Harwood “The Gingham Girl” ..................................... Lydia Raynor “The Adding Machine” .................................... Dick Wells “The Laughing Lady” ................................. Ella Topping “The Fool” .......................................... Alfred Edwards “The Dancing Girl” ..........................i. • • ■.... Ruth Culver “You and I” . . . ................................... Suz and Eleanor “Wild Flower” ..................................... Almira Topping “The Last Warning” .................................. Mr. Bartholomew “Better Times” ............................•-i................. Vacation “How Come” ............................................ Harry Frank “Down to the Sea in Ships” ........................ Jimmy Corrigan “The Mirage” . .,..................................... .■• ■ . Graduation “Go Easy M'abel” ....................................... Mabel Overton “Nice People” ...................................................... The Faculty “Let’s be Fashionable” ......... Elizabeth Campbell and Ella Topping “A Man in the Making” ............................... Frank Schug “The Greatest Moment” . M. . ....................... 12:00 each day “The Easiest Way” . . ....... Not to study ’till evening before Regents “The Life of th.e Party” .............................. Clarence Deim “The Pipes of Pan” ....................... High School Orchestra (?) 32 TAPS Here Lies “Professor Pepp” executed May 23, 1923 by the Senior Class of ’23 in the presence of some three hundred people His career was short, nervous and a little bit pathetic but h.e had a happy ending. It has been said by many that his execution was most wonderful in fact, better than the executions of the products of previous Senior Classes Now That He Is Past—R. I. P! PROFESSOR PETERKIN PEPP, a nervous wreck ........... Harry Frank MR. C. B. BUTTONBUSTER, a giddy butterfly of 48 ... Clarence Deim HOWARD GREEN, his son, who had the court change his name Willard French SIM BATTY, the police force of a college town . . .. Cortland Smith PEDDLER BENSON, working his way through ............ Arthur Herbert NOISY FLEMING, just out of High School ............. Abner Bennett PINK HATCHER, an athletic Sophomore ............... Joseph Fanning BUSTER BROWN, a vociferous Junior .................. Frank Schug BETTY GARDNER, the professor’s ward ................ Alice Webb AUNT MINERVA BOULDER, his housekeeper ........... Adelaide Corwith PETUNIA MUGGINS, the hired girl .................... Nancy Campbell OLGA STOPSKI, the Russian dancing teacher ......... Bessie Frank KITTY CLOVER, a collector of souvenirs ............. Greta Osborne VIVIAN DREW, a college belle ................... Elizabeth Campbell IRENE VAN HILT, a popular co-ed ................... Marion Halsey Id Quod Feci By Ignoramus. FIRST PERIUD—I went to Inglish class. I red a com psition (she made me. she said she culdn’t. I don’t think shes well edicated.) I said DeBracy rode forth in his knight clothes. They laffed. They must be awful dumb. SECOND PERIUD—This periud the teacher made me sit up in the front of the Study Hall. I don’t like it. It’s an awful atmisfear. All the big books there they make me feel funny. Studied 25 minutes. THIRD PERIUD—Yesterday I thawt Miss Tuthill was awful pretty but today maybe I was mistaken. She said I didn’t know any algebra. I writ lots of letters and numbers on the board and they was TAPS 33 wrote nice to but she said, no she didn’t say, she sighed deep and wiggild her shoulders. FOURTH PERIUD—Hungry. Ate half apple and 2 pieces of candy. Studied 15 min. The fire whistle is slow in blowing I think. A Senior told me it was not time for meridial sustenance. I looked in the dishionary and its nothing but dinner. Gee I thawt it was a High School fire drill or somethin. FIFTH PERIUD-—1 hadn’t studied my lesson. No time. KDKA had a good program last night. But it was all rite. She asked in what Icountry Moscow was and I said Prussia and dropped my books at the same time and she said well that’s part of Germany. I have good luck. That is a good rabbit foot I have. SIXTH PERIUD—Mr. Edkins asked if anybody rememlbered what a writ of assistance was. I said sure it is what I wood like to have a Senior make out for me for Latin. He said your ignorance is refreshing. Im glad he was refreshed. I thawt he mite be hot. SEVENTH PERIUD—I saw a pritty Sophomore. She has nice hare. I said say don’t you think it’s too nice to be in school. Lets have some ice cream when we get out. Maybe she did. I didn’t. I had to eat supper when I got out. High School is a funny place. Class of 1923 C urses ............................ Greta Osborne’s favorite expression L atin ........................................Easiest subject in school A thletic Association ...................................... The excuse for parties S mith—sonian Institute ........................ Where Nancy liked to go S arcasm ................ Explanation of the teachers’ sweet words to us O nyx ............................................ Senior class rings F ool ...................... What everyone makes of himself in Physics 1 ............................... The number of subjects a Senior has 9 Number of touchdowns Charlie Guilloz makes in one game 2 A. M................... Certain Seniors go for a walk in Washington 3 A. M....................................... Same return for breakfast Just a little bluffing, Lots of air, quite hot, Makes a recitation Seem like what it’s not. “Failed in Physics, flunked in math,,” I heard him softly hiss, “I’d like to spot the guy that said That ignorance is bliss.” 34 TAPS VERB FORMS I’d rather be a “could be” If I could not be an “are”, For a “could be” is a “may be” With a ichance of touching par. I’d rather be a “has been” Than a “might have been” by far, For a “might have been” has never been, But a “has been” was an “are”. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Bartholomew,” apologized the boarding-house keeper, “But I have no cheese in the house.” “Pray do not mention it,” said the genial gentleman, “I’m sure—” His compliment was cut short by the small son of his hostess, at his side, bearing a piece of cheese upon a plate. “Well, now, that is very kind of you, little man,” he said, as the child stood there, watching him swallow the tid-bit, “You knew more than your mother that time. Where did you find the cheese?” The youngster watched the last morsel disappear before he answered, “I found it in the rat trap.” MULTUM IN PARVO She thinks of dropping Latin, and all her friends concur; For, knowing her, they quite agree one tongue’s enough for her. Following the line of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked. THE RETORT COURTEOUS Irate Passenger: “Why don’t you put your foot where it belongs?” Tough Guy: “If I did you wouldn’t sit down for a week.” First Stude: “How near were you to the right answer to the third question?” Selcond Ditto: “Two seats away.” Ladies and Gentlemen, We introduce No. 49 of the hopeless ward. He fishes all day in a glass of water with bated breath. She: “What would you say if I should light an Egyptian Deity?” He: “Holy Smoke!” I. Em bick: “The girl took poison.” Ana Pest: “Why didn’t she shoot herself?” I. Embick: “She never used powder.” Gob: “As we neared the dock I threw the painter over-board.” Girl: “The poor fellow didn’t drown, did he?” TAPS 35 Truth-Telling Epitaphs NOTE—In accordance with an old custom we have made public a class prophecy, but we wish to go further and have decided to tell how some of these people met their deaths. After an absence of several years fond memories at length cailed me back to the old town. Since I am of a very melancholy disposition one of the first things I did was to hasten to visit the Southampton cemetery. As I walked along I was astounded to discover that many of my beloved class-mates had left this earthly existence and were lying deep under the cold, cold ground. How striking were the manners in which these ill-starred ones had met their fates! I quote several of the most heart-rending of their epitaphs: HERE LIETH YE MORTAL FRAME OF 'GR£TA OSBORNE Whom her father threatened to slay if she failed to get 100% in her physics regents. She got 99%%. HE KEPT HIS PROMISE AT REST CLARENCE DEIM Who was once heard to declare that he would die if he had to admit that ye old S. H. S. would live after his withdrawal from its tur- bulent existence. FACTS FORCED HIM TO ADMIT IT IN MEMORIAM NANCY CAMPBELL She solemnly swore that she would get Marion Halsey’s Cicero paper or die in the attempt. THE STRUGGLE WAS TOO MUCH IN LOVING TRIBUTE TO ADELAIDE CORWITH She told her third year Latin students that if they ever came to class with every one having his lesson done, she would pass out. Knowing her to be a lady of her word, that night those wicked children all burned the midnight oil. The next morning the shock was too great for their pedagogue. SHE WAS TRUE TO HER PROMISE TAPS CUT OFF AT THE HEIGHT OF HER CAREER ALICE WEBB She heard GallLCurci sing high C, and decided that if Amelita could she could. She tried for it, but she tried in vain. She broke four blood vessels in her throat trying to reach it. SHE WILL REACH NO MORE HERE LIES A YOUTH ONCE TO FORTUNE AND TO FAME UNKNOWN CORTLAND GRAY SMITH He boasted that he would be president of the United States if it took the last drop of blood in his veins. It did take his last drop. BUT HE WON Great Moments A. M. 1:00—The time Winston thought he was going to take the sleeper to New York. 2:20—The Freshies return from a party notorious for its scandal. 3:30—A few of the night hawks pull in. 4:00—Ml-. Gobel’s alarm clock rings. 5:00—'Nancy, Marion and Elizabeth M. arose and explored Wash- ington. 6:00—Studious Seniors resume their work. 7:30—Miss Schrader starts for school. 8:00—The favored few arrive and make up time for playing hookey. 8:30—A chorus of French and Latin begins in the Senior room. 8:35—(Muiss Hudson and Mr. Bartholomew arrive. 8:45—(Miss Hudson announces “This is study period. Please keep quiet or get out.” _ „ _ 8:59—Mr. Edkins rushes up the stairs. 9:00%—Miss Schrader with her train of Latin students leaves Study Hall. 9:05—Henry B. starts making excuses for that French he didn’t do. 9:20.—'Archie passes candy to the good-looking girls. 9:50—Miss Hudson administers two minute exercises—occasionally. 10:15—Helen H. and Aleith P. begin to buzz over Caeser. 10:20—Clarence makes a flowery translation in Cicero. TAPS 37 11:20—Miss Haller helps pupils do Bookkeeping. (?) 11:55—(Students start to put books away. 12:00 (?) M.—Noon whistle blows—stampede for home. P. M. 12:01%'—Miiss Schrader dismisses her Latin class. 12:02—Mjiss Hudson and Mir. Bartholomew leave and Miss Tuthill meets her chauffeur. 12:03'—Patricia makes headway for P. O. despite many passengers. 12:20—Winston and Catherine meet to talk it over. 12:25—Ella and Elinor canvass with their punch boards. 12:30—The Freshies congregate in the balcony to plan another party. 12:35—Suze and Elinor support the trophy case. 12:45—The Senior room is cast under the spell of the famous cahooters. 1:00—Virgil class rrwets. 1:20—Winston is taken suddenly ill and Dick B. has to take him home. 1:35—Gerretta S. and Esther S. are sent out of French I to play. 2 ;00—Nanicy sighs and sighs again. 2:15—Marion H. gives Miss Hudson some advice. 2:53—Those who are late for setting-up exercises have their private instruction. 3:00__Mr. Sabine calls on Greta to do the first Physics problem and Gerretta to do the second. 3:15—Helen McAllister starts to dream and cast glances toward a certain Soph. Now we understand your fondness for French, Micky. 3:40i—Miss Gardinier dreams of Syracuse. 3:45—The gong,—The Battle Cry of Freedom is heard. 3:46—The Water Mill Bus leaves. All aboard or walk. 4:00—Edna E. begins to understand the Spanish for the next day. 4:15—East Quogue begins to assemble for the homeward journey. 4:16—Edna decides that she fully understands the Spanish for the next day. 4:30—iMr. Gobel takes his daily exercise. 5:30—Miss Schrader sets out for home. 7:00—Greta O. resumes study while Eric tunes up his radio. 7:15—Junior-Senior banquet begins. 8:00—The race begins to see which car can park in front of Mrs. Fitz’s first. 9:30—Charlie Hinckley is still studying Latin. 9:40—Certain party including a Soph and a Senior start for a dance somewhere in Hampton Bays. 10:00—Alfred Edwards begins to put his hair in curlers. 11:00—The radio bugs start to crawl to bed. 11:30—Seniors put away their books. 12:00—Dick B. turns off the light after an evening’s hard study. 38 TAPS He mixed his peas with honey, He’d done it all his life; ’Twas not because he liked the taste, But it held them on a knife. A fool there was and she wrote this verse Even as you and I; They carried her off in a big black hearse Even as you and I. Favorite Verses Thou shalt be weighed in the balance and found wanting.— Mr. Bart. | iWisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom.—Mr. Sabine. A soft answer tumeth away wrath.—Miss Hudson. The Lord loveth a cheerful giver.—Miss Schrader. Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his own w|orks.—A certain Frosh. He maketh them also to skip like a calf..—Mr. Gobel. Can we not eat and drink?—Juniors and Seniors at the Banquet. I opened not my mouth because thou didst it.—M iss Rounds. A horse is a vain thing for safety.—Any Latin student. I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way.—A Frosh at a party. I am like an owl of the desert.—Anybody, around Regents time. Ye did run well.— Suse and Rocky. I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.—Speaker in rhetoricals. And the half was not told.—Mr. Edkins, looking over test papers. I will not give sleep to mine eyes or slumber to mine eyelids.— C. G. S. But how good and pleasant it is for brethren to live together in unity!—Essie and Petunia. Additional Rules for 1923-24 1. Students be allowied to take a joy-ride between classes. (Ask Micky.) ' 2 Students be permitted to take refreshments to keep awake during Latin classes. 3. Members of the volunteer fire department be allowed to at- tend all fires. TAPS 39 4. A double physics period be prohibited as cruelty to dumfb anim'als. 5. Senior room be opened to Seniors at noon sharp. 6. Report cards be annihilated. 7. Stairs be annointed with un-slippery grease. 8. Teachers discard chewing gum. 9. A. A. parties be given as often as desired. 10. “Regents will soon be here,” etc., become a thing of the hazy past. Suse and Rocky The Senior Class points with pride to the record of its wonder athlete, Clarence Deim, who, on the 19th day of May, 1923, running against note-worthy competition, won the half-mile run at Riverhead just short of the record. At Farmiingdale the following Saturday this same C. O. Deim, of the class of ’23, again w,on the half-mile event, thus entitling him to compete in the state-wide meet at Schenectady on Memorial Day. In this meet, although so unfortunate as to draw one of the poorest positions on the track, the aforesaid Clarence O. Deim, truly a most wonderful chap, acquitted himself in such a manner as to win fourth place in the half-mile event, thereby attaining for himself in due reward for his efforts an exquisite medal which, be it said to his undying praise, no designing female has as yet succeeded in causing him to surrender, unless (and this I doubt) I am mistaken. We should like you to know, too, that another memlber of this institution of learning (what?), Mr. Ray Greene, won renown and glory and honors and cheers and medals and all the rest, by the wonderful speed of his pedal extremities, getting first at both Riverhead and Farm- ingdale and third in the 440 yd. dash at Schenectady. However, we much fear that Sue, unlike his colleague, Rocky, no longer has his medals. One question, brethren:—How can a fellow run a mile by moving two feet? A STICKER prof; “Can anyone name the first aeronautical journal? Voice: “Fly paper.” Ben: “I think I have a cold or something in my head.” Hur: “Must be a cold.” 40 List of Students TAPS Seniors FRANCIS BALNIS ELIZABETH CAMPBELL NANCY CAMPBELL ADELAIDE CORWITH RUTH CULVER CLARENCE DEIM BESSIE FRANK AUGUSTA HALSEY MARION HALSEY WINSTON JENNINGS ELIZABETH MANSBERGER TRUMAYNE MARSHALL GRETA OSBORNE MARY SAKOWICZ FRANK SCHUG CORTLAND SMITH ALMIRA TOPPING ALICE WEBB EDWARD WOLINSKI Kenneth Avens Peter Balnis Emily Bishop Helen Bruzdoski Henry Burnett Catherine Corrigan Ansley Elliston Lester Fanning Harry Frank Edna Fredericks Raymond Greene Anna Hayes Helen Halsey Eleanor Howell Dick Baird Eugene Baldwin Lillian Bennett Elizabeth Darby Bertha Dull Helen Edwards Edna Elliston Joseph Fanning Willard French David Gilmartin Clifford Greene Juniors Helen McAllister William McAllister Neville Morris Harold Phillips Joseph Phillips Harriet Raynor Lydia Raynor Genevieve Roche Amanda Ruland Gerretta Skinner William Smith Adelia Stewart Esther Street Ella Topping Sophomores Joseph Herman Elizabeth Jaggar James Lynch Katherine McAllister Mary McGuirk Aleith Pohley William Platt Roger Stewart Benjamin Tuthill Richard Wells Eugene Sanford Freshmen TAPS 41 Alberta Ashman Catherine Aylward Russell Bailey Harlot! Balnis Josephine Barnwell Abner Bennett Marjorie Bunn George Burnett Maude Burnett Josephine Butler Andrew Culver Helen Dix Isabelle Downey Marjorie Drew Bruno Dull Margaret Eastwood Alfred Edwards Lillian Edwards Isidor Eisner William Fordham Edward Foster Richard Foster Richard Fowler Helen Franceschiello Seymour Frank Helen Frankenbach Emily Gaines Eleanor Galow Edna Greene Albert Griffin Charles Guilloz Leonard Hawkins Edward Heil Arthur Herbert Gerald Herbert Charles Hinckly Frances Hneleski Mabel Hulse Marie Hunter Helen Jackson Malcolm Jessup Joseph Kelly Harold Lane Mildred McAllister Edward McGuirk Hazel Mahoney Elaine Marshall Bessie Miller Christopher Moore Gertrude Moore Stanley O’kunewicz Eric Osborne Adaline Oswick Mabel Overton Evelyn Palmer Sidney Payne Lilly Peterson Clarence Phillips Carl Phillips Harold Platt Eileen Quinlan Edna Raynor Ruth Raynor Arthur Reinert Elbert Robinson Helen Roche Joanna Ruland Julia Sakowicz Stanley Scerbinski Helen Scholtz Marie Scholtz Helen Schwenk Ruth Sherman Courtland Smith Clarke Smith Gwendolyn Smith Rowland Smith Dorothy Strong Monroe Strong Alice Swann Dorothy Terrell Columbus Terry Lilian Terry Madeline Tuthill Alfred IJhll Willis VanBrunt Warren VanHise Andrew Veeck Howard Warren Elizabeth White Edward Whitman Alice Worrell Ernest Youde Nellian Youde Marion Zelenski Paul Zieman Helen Sanford Horace Sanford Alice Malone 42 TAPS The Isle of Chance The above is the name of the operetta which was given December 19, 1922. The operetta, although different from previous operettas, proved itself up to the standard of the years before. Much of the success was due to the coaching of Miss Katharyn Rounds. The cast follows: GREED (King of the Isle of Chance) ....CORTLAND SMITH CAPTAIN (of the good ship Ease) .......HAROLD PHILLIPS SUBJECTS OF KING GREED: FIRST FOLLY .............................LILLY PETERSON SECOND FOLLY .....................................ALICE WORREL THIRD FOLLY ....................................ADELINE OSWICK ON-A-GROUCH (a derelict of the isle) ...CHARLES GUILLOZ DESPAIR (his shadow) ....................WILLIAM SMITH SURVIVORS OF THE GOOD SHIP EASE: LORD WHAT’S-THE-USE ............................RUSSELL BAILEY LADY FRIVOLOUS .......................... EDNA ELLISTON SIMPELITA................................ ALICE WEBB SAILORS OF THE GOOD SHIP EASE: WHO-CARES ..............................RICHARD FOSTER FEW-CARES ...............................ABNER BENNETT NO-CARES .........................................HARRY FRANK CHORUS OF FOLLIES—Emily Bishop, Nellian Youde, Amanda Ruland, Ansley Elliston, Lawrence Maher, Lester Fanning, George Burnett, Arthur Herbert, Henry Burnett. CHORUS OF SHADOWS—Geretta Skinner, Adelaide Convith, Helen Halsey, Edna Fredericks, Catherine Corrigan, Eleanor Galow. SPIRITS OF SPRING—Helen McAllister, Esther Street. Parrish Speaking Contest On Thursday evening, May 31, the annual Parrish Speaking Contest was held in the High School auditorium. The program follows: 1. Marcus Pleads with Mercia .................... .........Esther Street 2. Not Guilty ........................................................Frank Schug 3. The Ballad of East and West ...................................Elizabeth White 4. Prentess’ First Plea...................................Russell Bailey 5. The Second Trial ......................................Nancy Campbell 6. Cut Off from the People ................................Harold Phillips 7. A Few Bars in the Key of G.........................Elizabeth Campbell 8. The Black Horse and His Rider......................................Henry Burnett 9. The Heart of Old Hickory ...........................................Edna Elliston 10. Heroes of the Land of Penn ...............................Harold Platt 11. The Courier.......................................... Adelaide Corwith DECISION OF JUDGES TAPS 43 First Prize, Girls—Edna Elliston. First Prize, Boys—Henry Burnett. Second Prize, Girls—Elizabeth Campbell. Second Prize, Boys—Harold Phillips. Judges: Superintendent P. B. Matthews, Bridgehampton; Principal Gilbert R. Lyon, East Hampton; Principal William M. Wood, Sag Harbor. Page From High School Primer of Pathology Radiomania: Symptoms—Victim stays up late, gets strange collecting habit—very fond of empty oatmeal boxes, etc.; speech affected so that it is scarcely intelligible to normal beings; one form of it leads him to go around uttering sounds like dit-da daditditdit daditdadit; ears close to head; tends to congregate with others of his kind; always short of money. Cause—Bite of tiny insect, spread by newspapers and magazines and human beings. Very infectious; boys especially susceptible. Cure—'None known. Froshingitis: Symptoms—Patient very feverish, wild, gay, noisy; cran- ium greatly enlarged; mind somewhat affected. Cause—Sudden change in atmospheric pressure. Cure—Put away in a cool, dry place and let time do the rest. Not in- fectious. Lovesickness: Symptoms—Patient partially blind and deaf; capable of comprehending what he sees and hears only from one person; brain greatly softened; speech affected; may be heard murmuring things like “vida de mi vida, alma de mi alma,” etc., or their equivalents. Insomnia by night, dreams by day. Very careful of appearance. One of the most pitiable of known diseases. Causes—Too varied and manifold to mention. Cure—Curable, but no one remedy efficacious in all cases. Cures usually not permanent. Swelledheadedness: Symptoms—Head enlarged to enormous size. Actions insufferable. Brain, if any, shriveled up. Causes—Change of atmosphere; fame; notoriety; nothing at all (latter most common). Cure:—Brain tonic, plus a looking glass, plus a phonograph record of patient at his worst. These are almost certain to prevent recurrence of the dreadful malady, if patient is at all curable. 44 TAPS MORE ADVICE (It’s free, so we should worry) From the store of our (we were about to say unutterable, but we have both kinds) UTTERABLE wisdom, we should advise the autocracy: Mr. Goble and Mr. Bartholomew to be co-authors of a work entitled “Courtesy and Consideration.” Miss Tuthill to develop a fiercer temper and more cruel heart for the Freshies. (But by all means keep your natural ones for regular people.) Miss Schrader to stay just as she is, for she could not be better natured —just as you are now when you have read the above, Miss Schrader. Mr. Edkins to keep on being a teacher that he may continue to influence students by his character. Miss Gardinier to learn how to keep a 5 10 cent store. Mr. Sabine to get a nice little Pierce-Arrow for his next chapter of “Evolution in Methods of Transportation by Mptor Vehicles, or from Ford to Rolls-Royce.” Miss Haller to be first president of the Royal Society of Cahoot Guessers. Miss Terrell to wear dark glasses after the Seniors have used the kitchen for fudge making. Mr. Wiley to get an advanced text on how to flirt. It is possible there are some points that have escaped him—possible but not probable. Miss Hudson to remember to temper the wind for the shorn lamb—even if she has to deal with black ones occasionally. Advice to ’24 The usual stuff, and yet we really feel you need this. That’s why we are giving it to you. Advice! We got it last year but we really didn’t think it was necessary for a lively, tip-top, successful class like ours. Of course we realize you think that we are only writing this to fill up space. You are right enough, we admit. You are a fine class. If we were not us, us would probably admit that you are a better class than we, but we being us, us has to contend that we is better. That’s what comes of us being we. Yes! As a class you are certainly good-for-nothing can daunt you in your noble purposes. But as individuals—advice—that’s all that’s lacking for the proper growth of your wings. Here goes; we advise Harold (Archie) Phillips—To cease being ladylike and to make himself gentlemanly. Geretta Skinner—To try some method of reducing so that her nick name may be more appropriate. Peter Balnis—To learn immediately the fine (?) art of bluffing, the famous last resort of all Seniors who would try to keep up with a good repu- tation. Ansley Elliston—To lose some of her sarcasm that she may be more worthy to take our place. TAPS 45 Amanda Ruland'—To stop vamping the members of the “Imperial Or- chestra.” Henry Burnett—Not to leave the socials to go to the movies with a certain young lady. It would be ever so much better for you to remain, Henry. Harry Frank—To be a tragedian in Shakespearian drama—or to be merely a nerve-racked high school teacher, a real Prof. Pepp. Edna Fredericks—To give Harold P. a little light on conversational topics while entertaining him in the parlor. William McAllister—.Not to ask the teachers too many questions, be- cause, Bud, you know that their information has to be confined to some limits. Anna Hayes—To try to choose a more becoming seat next year—one that will not compel you to sit on the floor and hold the desk in your lap. William Smith—To broadcast some of his orchestral masterpieces that he may help to spread the fame of the S. H. S. orchestra. Kenneth Avens—To send us a stamped and addressed envelope for a book on how to get a girl without any personal effort. Lester Fanning—To keep up his fondness for Latin, and he will become acquainted with Publius Vergilius Marc—a worthy gentleman, we assure you, nearly as nice as your dear M. T. Cicero. Helen McAlister—To do school work now, Mickey, and not to play so much. Remember that though you have nice lightning flashes in your eyes, thunder follows lightning. Adelia Stewart—Not to have so many parties. You’re a Senior now and they aren’t gay and frivolous—they stay home nights and study. Emily Bishop—To make her own dates. Don’t always use a go-between. Eugene Sanford—To be more merciful to his poor little car. If you maltreat it so you may be arrested by the S. P. C. A., Gene, and that would be sad. Helen Bruzdoski—To calm down a bit before you go to dwell in the Senior Room, or we should fear that there wouldn’t be any left for the Sophs, when they grow up. Joseph Phillips—Not to speak so childishly—when I became a man I put away childish things. Go thou and do likewise. Genevieve Roche—Not to carry on such long conversations with certain of her friends in Study Hall. They aren’t Seniors, so you should not be seen speaking to them. Edna Elliston—To buy a little shovel as an aid for one of her avocations. Miss Rounds to be sure to learn how to handle something besides music rolls—common biscuits, for instance. And we advise the proletariat: Those with nice bobbed hair like Helen Scholtz and Mildred McAllister to sit perfectly still in study hall. It’s awfully inconvenient, don’t you know, to have the screen move unexpectedly from the teacher’s line of vision. The majority of Sophs and Froshes for goodness’ sake to use some little discretion and good taste in the selection of their pieces for rhetoricals. We get sick of hearing slush and sad jokes and unspeakably base doggerel. Those who walk in back of the school to carry umbrellas—always. 46 TAPS Ibby White not to talk to Charlie so much. He has to study sometimes, Ibby. Aleith Pohley—Don’t wait until 12.55 to go to school every noon. The “Car” might fail you some day. Dick Baird—Why not give up playing second fiddle for a while? Mabel Overton—“Black eyes” look suspicious. You had better stay home the next time until you recuperate. Edna Greene—When you are in study hall—STUDY. Don’t gaze at the boys so much. Roger Stewart—Not to spend more than 10 minutes the 5th period of each day sharpening Nellian Youde’s pencil. Dot Strong to go in the Follies as a dancer. Dot Terrell not to get peeved when Gus walks to school with anyone else. Helen Schwenk to keep her parents company a few nights a week, anyway. Billy Fordham to stop buying coffin nails for himself. Evelyn Palmer to buy some stationery—the Seniors are graduating. Little Sue to sell his jazz-hound. Arthur Herbert—Don’t copy Willard so much. Launch your own ideas and be original. Catherine Corrigan—Better choose some dark and lonely road next time you and Winston go riding. Others are too conspicuous. Willard French—Go easy on the heai-t-breaking stuff, Willard. Remem- ber you have two more years ahead of you before you graduate. Helen Halsey and Aleith Pohley—To do your Latin at least fifteen min- utes before class meets next year and so avoid unnecessary confusion and buzzing. Abner Bennett—To get over his shy and bashful ways. Great men never get anywhere by taking a back seat, Beazer. Ruth Sherman—To stop writing notes to a certain elderly Junior. You’re too young for such things. Charles Hinckley—Recover from your fondness for Latin. You can’t have it always, you know. Mary McGuirk—To spend more time studying and less time dreaming. Don’t build your castles too high for they may fall. Dody Fanning—To study up radio, and you MAY become chief operator cn the Leviathan—or the Shelter Island ferry. Esther Street—Why not sigh (Si) ? It may fulfill your wishes. Ask and it shall be given. Dick Foster—To desist from rummaging in the room of a certain mem- ber of the faculty. You may embarrass him by finding something he doesn’t want you to see. Clarence Phillips to copy his brother’s smile. Lillian Bennett to carry auxiliary eats to parties. Howard Warren to remember that there are other people in the world. Victoria S. to intersperse her giggles with fits of silence occasionally. TAPS 47 Jokes Mr. Sabine'(in chapel)—“What is work?” Lazy Frosh—“Anything.” Mr. Sabine—“Is this desk work?” Lazy Frosh—“Yes, woodwork.” Miss Gardenier—“Do you know that your shoes could tell a wonderful industrial story?” Eugene Sanford—“Mine couldn’t. Both their tongues are tied.” Cortland G. Smith (in search of a compliment)—“I was told last night that I was an awful flirt.” Marion H. (sympathetically)—“Possibly all you need is more practice.” Charles Hinckley—“I’m going to see the swellest Jane tonight, blue eyes and black hair.” Beazer—“What happened to the blonde you had last year?” Charlie—“Why-er, she dyed.” Marion—“Do you really take her word for all those sentences?” Henry B.—“Take her word for them! No—I’m taking her writing, though.” Miss Hudson—“Your diction is absurd. How can a man hatch out a plan?” Dick Baird—“He might have his mind set on it.” Junior Response We, the Juniors, altho foolishly frightened by the presence of so many noble Seniors, will venture at this time to bestow a little needed advice upon our worthy classmates. Naturally, we realize the unthinkable audacity of this course and its monstrous impertinence, but, having dwelt among the Seniors for three years we feel it our duty to tell them a few things which they themselves cannot perceive and altho we realize “the unthinkable au- dacity,” etc. (see above) of this course we should now like to advise: Cortland Grey Smith—The next time you make the acquaintance of a flapper “en route” to Washington be careful to which shows you take her. Next time you enter a speaking contest Adelaide, we would advise you to keep away from people who have the measles. Bessie Frank—Why don’t you get a sign that says, “I’m a Senior even if I do look like a .Freshie?” Remember Greta the hotels in large cities are not like those in Water Mill. You can not make as much noise as you wish without provoking your neighbors and calling down the just rath of the manager upon your head. Frances you should marry a man with a very affectionate disposition. We know that you are fond of sweets. 48 TAPS Nancy C. and Marion, next time you take a walk at five o’clock don’t stop to shine your shoes, come home a few minutes earlier and empty your pockets. Why don’t you register for the next boys’ conference, Ruth, then you can meet a few more “out of town” fellows. Lizzfe M., if you get some rouge, lip stick and powder and take lessons in asthetic dancing you’ll be quite a vamp. Elizabeth Campbell—Don’t wear your dresses too long, you might trip up. Frank Schug—If you will persist in going out with girls, at least be careful and don’t fall in love with some six footer. Sbe might forget that you are there and walk away with some other fellow. Who would have thought that the staid and prim Seniors have a flirt in their midst. A naughty little flirt, just think of it! Almira Topping, do stop winking at the boys. Shorty, get a new nick name. You are quite a man now. Have you noticed the way Winston rides in his car when Catherine is with him? We advise you to get a car with a double front seat, Winston, that mode of locomotion must be uncomfortable. Augusta Halsey—What is this we hear about a sedan and a cute little chauffeur with a pleasant smile? Roch—'Don’t make a practice of rushing for the mail in the rain! You might catch cold. Mary S.—We hear you like milk. Get a cow. Ally Webb—Get a new profession. Refereeing prize fights isn’t in your line. Trumayne—Why don’t you get a wrist watch? It will be a shame if you are always as late for your appointments as you are for French. Lydia Raynor—Get a bottle of Bandoline to keep your hair in place. Bed-Side Stories Scene—Modern rooms in which an invalid is reclining on a sofa. A nurse is moving about arranging books, etc. Characters—Adelaide Corwith, an invalid recuperating from an automo- bile accident. Miss Caldron—A nurse. Miss Ariminda Greene, Miss Carrie Brown—Solicitous friends. Frank Schug—Book agent. Adelaide C.—Goodness me, I get so weary of lying around with nothing to do. I do wish something exciting would happen. Miss Caldron—It is hard, but try and make the best of it. (Bell rings) There, perhaps your wishes will be fulfilled. I’ll go and see who it is. (Nurse leaves room and returns followed by Miss Brown and Miss Greene.) Miss TAPS 49 Erown and Miss Greene called to ask for your health so I brought them in to see for themselves. Miss Brown—Dear me, she don’t look sick, does she, Ariminda? How do you feel ? „ Adelaide C.—Please sit down and make yourselves comfortable. Thank you. Pm feeling much better now and I hope to be out again soon' and take up where I left off. For I don’t care for the invalid role. Miss Greene—Well, all I can say is when you get well, stay well. Don’t ever get in one of those murdering machines again. Pm scairt every time I see one coming. A. C.—Well, Miss Greene, I’ll try to be more careful in the future. Tell me, is there any news? Miss Greene—Why-er, let me think—0, yes, do you know I got a letter from my nephew this morning—you know, Ariminda, Martha’s boy—and he asked me if I knew a Marian Halsey who claims to be from Southampton. It seems he’s dead in love with her and spends half his time and all his money down in a tea shop or some sort of contraption, she has down in Greenwich Village. Ain’t that the beatin’st? A. C.—I should say so. I often wondered where Marian disappeared. Miss Brown—Say, do you remember that girl who used to go around with her? What is her name, anyhow? A. C.—Do you mean Nancy Campbell ? Miss B.—That’s her. Well last time I was in to the city I reckoned to go and look up one of those institutions our Missionary Society was supporting. So I did. Chose an orphan asylum. Some poor folorn creature let me in and told me to wait in the waiting room while she called the matron. After con- siderable time I heard someone coming so I looked up and there was that Campbell woman a-staring at me. I tell you I was some surprised. Miss G.—I should have thought you would have been. Matron of an or- phan asylum. Great heavens, what next? A. C.—It only goes to show you never can tell. And now Pm going to spring another surprise—about Nancy’s sister. After college she went West to teach among the Indians and— Miss B.—Don’t tell us they scalped her. A. C.—Oh no, not that bad. She fell in love with one of those cowboys and eloped with him. How’s that for scandal ? Miss B.—Too bad, too bad, for she always seemed like a respectable girl. A. C.—And you remember Trumayne Marshall? Well she’s travelling abroad now and having a great time. Miss Greene—You don’t say! Come, Carrie we must go. Remember we’re on our way to Reading Club and we’re late now; besides we’ll tire her all out. A. C.—Don’t worry about that for I enjoy visitors, but if you must go I’ll say good-bye. (Exeunt Miss G. and Miss B.) Come again soon. (Enter nurse carrying picture under her arm.) Miss C.—Do you feel better now that someone has been here ? 50 TAPS A. C.—Yes indeed, and you should have heard the news I gleaned the little time they were here. Miss Brown said—why where on earth did you find that? It’s my old class picture. Miss C.—I found it in the book case. I’ve discovered one face there that’s very familiar and I want you to tell me his name. A. C.—Ask away and I’ll tell you all I know. Miss C.—I have a friend who is an actress and one day I went to a re- hersal with her and that man, I’m sure it was he, kept yelling at them, “That’s rotten! Get some pep into it. Talk to your audience more,” etc., till they were all nearly wild. A. C. (laughing)—That sounds just like him. That’s Clarence Deim, our silver tongued orator. Miss Caldron—The silver must have been on the lining. A. C.—Look here: Now tell me, doesn’t she look meek and mild to you? Of course, yet today Elizabeth Mansburger is pulling down enormous wages as a toe-dancer in a Parisian cafe. Still water certainly runs deep. And here’s Augusta Halsey. Have you ever heard of Madam Schuman Nickel? Miss C.—Indeed I have, and heard her too at the Metropolitan Opera. But what’s she got to do with it? A. C.—Nothing, only when Madam Schuman Nickel went to school we always called her Augusta Halsey. Miss C.—You certainly are a celebrated class. But who is this important looking person? A. C.—That’s Cortland Smith. I wonder if there’s any trade he hasn’t tried a hand at? First he was conductor on the Riverhead-Quogue trolley line, but the passengers complained because he used such big words, claiming that their lives were endangered and—out he went. Then he drifted into Brooklyn and went in for soap box oratory, but that wasn’t much of a paying job and he must have given it up for the last I heard of him he was wearing brass buttons in one of these swell Fifth Avenue establishments. Miss C.—He has quite a history, I’ll admit. (Bell rings) There goes that bell again. More excitement in store maybe. (Exit. Returns followed by a book agent.) Miss Corwith, I tried to keep him out but he insisted on com- ing up. Frank S.—Madam, I’m agent for the niftiest—Why upon my word if it isn’t Adelaide Corwith! What is the matter with you? A. C.—Frank Schug! Of all people I least expected to see, you’re the one. Nothing much, only when the other car smashed into me I got the worst of it. How are you? Quite an agent I should judge. Am I not right? Frank S.—I hope so. What's this I see? (Picks up picture) Upon my word. All the old gang, isn’t it? A. C.—Yes; do you recognize yourself? F. S.—Sure, right next to Wince Jennings. Say, I saw him not long ago when 1 was selling books at Rosemary Hall. A. C.—Rosemary Hall? Why, that’s a girl’s school. F. S.—I am well aware of the fact. I had some Latin books to sell so 1 was directed to the Latin professor’s room. At first I thought I had the TAPS 51 wrong room but as I advanced the crowd of girls about the desk parted and disclosed the Latin teacher to my view and he was no other than Winston Jennings. Afterwards he tried to tell me he was only explaining the next day’s Virgil lesson. Maybe so; everyone teaches differently. A. C.—I can’t get over that. Winston a Latin professor. Well, I never. That reminds me I read in the paper that Almira Topping had left the school where she was studying physical culture to take up landscape gardening and interior decorating. I was simply stunned when I read it. F. S.—Stranger things than that have happened. Tell me, where is Alice Webb? A. C.—Oh she got married and then her husband lost his job and she had to go out and earn her living and his too for that matter. She had been taking a correspondence course in art on the sly. So when the time came she applied it to the test and now she’s making advertisements for Campbell’s soups. F. S.—Honest? But I’ve got something that’ll beat that. I went to the circu the other day and as usual got caught in the terrible jam at the ticket office. As I approached I heard a familiar voice call out, “Get in line there and don’t be so dumb,” and in a few minutes I was face to face with Greta Osborne. A. C.—Greta Osborne? Never. F. S.—But it’s true; she said she was studying human nature. A. C.—Well I hope she got her fill of it. F. S.—I’ve run up against a lot of the old crew in my travels. Only the other day I bumped into Frances Balnis coming out of a swell beauty parlor; she said she owned it, too. A. C.—For heaven’s sake. I heard the other day that Edward Wolinski is superintendent of a Sunday School out in Montana. Goodness, I never thought Shorty would take up that work. F. S.—Nor I, but as you said, you never can tell. Did I tell you I saw Ruth Culver last week? A. C.—No, do tell me; where is she? F. S.—She runs an elevator in the Woolworth Building. I had occasion to go to one of the offices on the 49th floor and that’s how I discovered her. She evidently prospers on it for she looked well. F. S.—I can’t spend any more time gossiping. My time is money. A. C.—Why don’t you ask me to buy some of your wares ? F. S._I was going to, but you cut me out. How about this book, “The Story of the Love Nest,” by Elizabeth Earnest? A. C.—Elizabeth Earnest? Who’s she? I never heard of her before. F. S.—I didn’t think you had but I think you know her; anyway, Bessie Frank is one of ’23. A. C.—Bessie Frank? Did she write that? Of course I want one. Have you any more of her works? I didn’t even know she wrote at all. F. S._No, I haven’t anything more of hers and to be truthful, of any- body else’s that’s worth reading. Well I must go. Goodbye. I’ve certainly had a good time reminiscing. 52 TAPS A. C.—Ask Miss Caldron to pay you as you go out. Good-bye. (Exit) Today has certainly been a sort of class reunion day. (Picks up picture again.) There’s Mary Sakowitz. I wonder what ever possessed her to go into the movies? But she’s made good at it anyway. Miss C. (entering)—Have you had enough excitement for one day? A. C.—I believe I have. If you’ll pull the curtain down I believe I’ll take a little nap. Miss C.—I was going to suggest that it might be a good idea to do so, but you prescribed for yourself. CURTAIN And have you heard: About the Deaf, dumb and blind child Who lay Dying And her mother Said To the doctor Can you do nothing And the doctor Said Nothing And the child Said nothing And rolled over And Died. A. F. C. Consistency It was one September evening In October, last July, The rain was pouring down in sheets The weather was so dry; I strolled along the country lane With the street cars running fast, And there enjoyed my solitude Amid the crowds that passed. The darkness ’round was black as ink While the sun shone up above; And soft sweet anger filled my heart As I hated those I love. TAPS 53 Many a high school fellow tries to push himself forward by patting himself on the back. “I'll explain deduction,” said the student, airing his knowledge in the home circle. “In our back yard, for instance, is a pile of ashes. By deduction, that is evidence that we’ve had fires going this winter.” “By the way, Johnny,” broke in his father, “you might go out and sift the evidence.” “You’re a pretty sharp boy, Sammy.” “Well, I ought to be. Pa takes me into his room and strops me three or four times a week.” Ginger: “What are you going to look over for tomorrow’s test?” Snap: “Someone’s shoulder.” Miss Tuthill: “O, DEAR!” Winston: “Yes, what is it?” For the Backward Reader Eht tseggib sloof I Hits eralced Era ton ni deddap llec or Hats Tub esoht ohw wonk siht sah on esnes Tey ylluferac wollof urht ti 11a. “And twenty dollars was all you paid for that suit? Sounds pretty fishy to me.” “Well, it’s herringbone, you know.” He Drew her Up to him And Struck her, But She did not Cry out. Again And again He Struck her, But She did not wince. He struck her For the last time And Her head P'ell off. She was only A match 54 TAPS Words Man (in drug store)—“I want some consecrated lye.” Druggist—“You mean concentrated lye.” “It does nutmeg any difference. That’s what I camphor. What does it sulphur?” “Fifteen cents. I never cinnamon with so much wit.” “Well, I should myrrh-myrrh! Yet I ammonia novice at it.” Miss Tuthill (in Geometry)—“Harry, I don’t like your figure; I like my own better.” Miss Rounds—“Has Helen had any education along musical lines?” Phil. F.—“I should say so. Name any record and she’ll tell you what’s on the other side.” Mr. Wiley—“I just burned up a ten dollar bill.” Dick Foster—“You must be a millionaire.” Mr. Wiley—“Well, it’s easier to burn them than to pay them.” Willard F.—“Did you know Dick Wells talks in his sleep?” Pro Herbert—“No.” Willard—“Well, it’s true. He recited in class this morning.” Miss Tuthill—“Abner, what must we do before our sins can be forgiven?” Beazer—“Sin.” Mr. Gobel—“Are you running this Spring?” Benny T.—“I should say not. If I were I’d cut out all this rainy weather.” Nothing Doin’ Mr. Gobel—“I wonder where that alarm clock went to. I don’t see it.” Mr. Bartholomew—“I saw it yesterday but I heard it go off this morning.” Mr. Gobel—'“I hope it didn’t go where I told it to.” Clarence—“Greta, did you get that joke I handed in?” Greta—“No, but I’m trying to.” Winter is too cold fer work, Freezin’ weather makes me shirk; Spring comes on and finds me wishin’ I could spend my days a-fishin’. Then in Summer when it’s hot, Feel like working? I guess not! Autumn days so calm and hazy, Sorter makes me kind’er lazy. That’s the way the seasons run— Seems I can’t get nothin’ done! TAPS 55 Waiter—“Will you have oysters?” Edna F.—“No, oysters aren’t good this month.” Waiter—“Oh, but these are last month’s.” Courtland E. Smith—“Hey, Dick, guess this one. What part of a fish is like the end of a book?” Dick Foster—“What part? The end of his tail, probably.” C. E. S.—“No, the fin-is of course.” Archie (in A. P.)—“These are select apples twenty-five and fifty cents a dozen.” Customer—“Whaddaye mean ‘select’.” Archie—“If you select them they’re fifty cents, but if I select them they’re twenty-five.” Lady—“Well, what do you want?” Tramp—“Lady, believe me I’m no ordinary beggar. I was at the front.” Lady—“Really!” Tramp__“Yes ma’am, but I couldn’t make you hear so I came around to the back.” Mr. Sabine (to Ella and Geretta after explaining some Physics)—“Do you understand this dam business?” Emily—“Have you heard the story of the bell?” Mickey—“No.” Emily—“That’s funny. It’s often been tolled.” Clarence—“I see you’re wearing golf stockings.” Wince—“But they’re not. What made you think so?” Clarence—“I just counted 18 holes in them.” Teacher (after lesson on snow)—“As we walk out on a cold day what do we see on every hand?” Frosh—“Gloves.” AT THE LECTURE If the gentleman in the back row will kindly remove his hat I will con- tinue and point out a concrete example. A Teddy bear sat on the ice, As cold as cold could be; But soon he up and walked away, “My tale is told,” said he. This is our book. We are the ones who wrote the book. You are the ones who read the book written by the ones who wrote it. These are the ads that enabled us to print the book we wrote for you to read —and buy. Read them and Buy 56 TAPS I am glad a task to me is given, To labor at day by day; For it brings me health, and strength, and hope. And I cheerfully learn to say: — Head you think, heart you feel, But hand you shall work alway.” W. D. V. B. i TAPS 57 When we reflect upon the life of a com- munity the quality of the water used is of fundamental importance. Water from the wells of The Southamp- ton Water Works Company bears no evi- dence of chemical or bacteriological pollution. It is highly recommended by chemists and health authorities for general domestic purposes. SOUTHAMPTON WATER WORKS COMPANY 58 TAPS FIRST NATIONAL BANK of Southampton, N. Y. CAPITAL AND SURPLUS - - $250,000.00 All Banking Facilities INTEREST DEPARTMENT TRUST DEPARTMENT SAFE DEPOSIT BOXES AND VAULTS FIRST NATIONAL BANK of Southampton, N. Y. Compliments of CORWITH’S PHARMACY 60 TAPS FORDHAM’S PHARMACY Tel. I ANNOUNCEMENT MARSHALL G. HAY Proprietor of W. F. Fordham Co., Stationers Newsdealers Southampton, N. Y. Wishes to announce that on and after May 1st, 1923, he will conduct the business under his own name. Very truly yours. MARSHALL G. HAY Compliments of WALTER CORNS Manager of Thomas Roulston's Store Job’s Lane F. W. BURNETT Agent for Queen Quality The Shoe for Women Compliments of MARQUIS GARYPIE Manager of Roulston’s Main Street Store TAPS 61 THE ELECTRIC SHOP ADOLPH GULDI SON EVERYTHING ELECTRICAL WILLARD STORAGE BATTERIES Main Street, Southampton, N. Y. Compliments of ROBINSON BROS., Inc. PLUMEING FCRDHAM-ELLI5T0N PAINTING 1 el. 3-R Southampton 62 TAPS Telephone 24 1 THE SUNRISE TRAIL J. BUCHEIT Southampton, N. Y. Windmill Lane S. F. SCHRADER TAXI SERVICE AND BAGGAGE TRANSFER Tel. 345 Southampton, N. Y. Phone 1 22 FRANK CORRIGAN LANDSCAPE GARDENER t Phone 259 ALEX CAMERON PLUMBING AND HEATING Southampton, N. Y. TAPS 63 To Encourage Lawn Tennis Among the Pupils of the School We Will Restring Their Rackets -------AT SPECIAL RATES------- HARRY LILLYWHITE SON Tel. 2 1 -W Compliments of SOUTHAMPTON HORTICULTURAL SOCIETY Tel. 26-R ON THE SUNRISE TRAIL JOHN A. HERRICK HARDWARE Quality and Service Southampton, N. Y. Compliments of A. E. MILLER JEWELER AND GIFT SHOP 64 TAPS HUDSON ESSEX “Justice and Service on the Sunrise Trail” —at— HAMPTON GARAGE SUPPLY CO. Distributors of Gabriel Snubbers Stromberg Carburetors Gill Piston Rings Goodrich, Hood, Fisk and Ajax Tires Bosch Chaducks Champion Spark Plugs Larber Radiators High Luster Finish Polish J. M. Brake Linings Amalie 1-2-3 Lubricating Oils TEL. 320-325 J. C. CRILLY, Pres, and Gen. Mgr. TAPS 65 Everything in Music VICTROLAS AND VICTOR RECORDS MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS BUESCHER SAXAPHONES HARDMAN STERLING PIANOS AND PLAYER PIANOS Q. R. S. PLAYER ROLLS LATEST SHEET MUSIC SINGER SEWING MACHINES JEDLICKA BROS. Job’s Lane, Phone 65-J Tel. 625 L. W. RULAND AUTO SUPPLIES AND REPAIRING ALL GRADES OF OIL LARGE STOCK OF TIRES Corner of Hampton Road and Main St. 66 TAPS Compliments of S. E. EDWARDS SONS Compliments of THE GREAT ATLANTIC PACIFIC TEA CO. Job’s Lane Store, No. 6163 Tel. 737 G. Gordon Edwards, Mgr. Phone 687 ANDREW HRASKO THE FAMILY SHOE STORE ALSO FINE SHOE REPAIRING WORK GUARANTEED Job’s Lane Southampton, N. Y. Tel. Main 783 OLYMPIA CONFECTIONERY TAPS 67 Where Your Heart Is, Your Photograph Ought to Be THE MORRIS STUDIO PORTRAITS of QUALITY Tel. 85-M Southampton, N. Y. Compliments of HOLDEN’S STATIONERY SHOP “Say It With Flowers’’ CHARLES E. FRANKENBACH SONS GARDEN ACCESSORIES, LAWN MOWERS Agent for IDEAL POWER MOTOR Members Florists’ Telegraph Delivery Southampton Compliments of SCHOLZ BROS. BAKERY 68 TAPS ASHMONT MARKET Frank W. McGurn, Prop. HIGH GRADE MEATS OF ALL KINDS Poultry and Game in Season Job’s Lane L. B. DAVIDOW Job’s Lane A. SCHWARTZ Tel. 35-J Main St., Southampton SOUTHAMPTON DRY CLEANING ESTABUSHMENT All kinds of delicate materials in ladies’ and gentlemen’s clothing cleaned by the latest up-to-date methods. Ladies' and gentlemen’s made-to-order or ready-made clothing. M. JONASSEN INTERIOR DECORATOR TAPS 69 Donated by GILMARTIN BROS. MARKETMEN Tel. 760 Compliments of CHARLES F. EDWARDS LAUNDRY Established 1887 I. F. SKINNER Southampton, N. Y. Sea Food Received Daily From Montauk and Local Waters Phone 203 Residence Phone 1 14-W W. H. HEDGES AUTOMOBILES 70 TAPS Compliments of E. A. H. HILERETH Farm Land, Shore Fronts, Rentals Loans and Investments E. B. IVES REALTY CO., Inc. Southampton, N. Y. Arcade Building Telephone 40 Compliments of WALLACE H. HALSEY J. FOSTER TERRY CO. INSURANCE TAPS 71 HERBERT C. TOOKER BICYCLES AND SUNDRIES Repairing Promptly Attended to DURYEA AND BAIRD MASONS AND CONTRACTORS DONNELLY AND CORRIGAN BUILDERS AND CONTRACTORS Southampton, N. Y. HAMPTON MANOR Main Street - Southampton EQUIPPED FOR COMFORT DELIGHTFULLY LOCATED DELICIOUS FOOD Telephone 558 72 TAPS HAVENS AND WILDE CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS Southampton Tel. 584-W EVERETT B. BROCKETT FUNERAL DIRECTOR Southampton Compliments of SOUTHAMPTON BANK Compliments of STYLE SHOP EVERYTHING FOR LADIES TAPS 73 HALSEY-VAN SCOY AUTO CO. Agent for CADILLAC Southampton E. M. Cartwright E. G. Hedges CARTWRIGHT HEDGES FIRST CLASS FORD REPAIR SHOP Nugent Street Tel. 140 Southampton Tel. 487 BUICK CARS H. M. WELLS, Agent Southampton, N. Y. Compliments of WALLACE H. HALSEY 74 TAPS OSCAR F. FANNING ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW Southampton, N. Y. Telephone 337-J WHITE JENNINGS DEALERS IN GROCERIES Hill St., near Art Village Southampton, N. Y. Authorized BUICK Service Phone 790 Interior P AINTING Exterior ALBERT MINNE Formerly with The Hayden Company, and Charles R. W. Rinschede FURNITURE PAINTING, DECORATING, POLISHING A SPECIALTY Meeting House Lane Telephone 649 Southampton, N. Y. TAPS 75 A. S. OSBORNE INSURANCE AGENT SCHWENK’S EUREKA MEAT MARKET, Inc. MEATS, POULTRY, FRUITS AND VEGETABLES Phones 185 and 186 Main St., Southampton, N. Y. HARRI M. HOWELL SEARCHES, ABSTRACTS AND LOANS Compliments of SOUTHAMPTON COAL PRODUCE CO. 76 TAPS MADE BY Chickering Brothers Chicago HALLET DAVIS SCHUBERT PIANO CO. Point for point, considering Quality and Cost, this line of leading houses represents the best in the land. H. S. HORNBECK PIANO EXPERT Southampton, New York W. B. PLATT Southampton, New York ANNOUNCEMENT This is my thirty-ninth season in the fruit and vegetable business in South- ampton. 1 make a specialty of studying the individual requirements of my cus- tomers and carry a full line of everything in season. Prices are absolutely O K. This year my business will be conducted at the farm on Hill St. where 1 grow the best varieties of vegetables to be found. Of those who are not already my customers I ask that they call and give me a trial. Telephone connection.