South Highland Infirmary School of Nursing - Nightingale Yearbook (Birmingham, AL)

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1 l 1 i Z l s 1 I li 5 l l 3 i l 4 5 i I -..,,w Chemistry of Definition: Men are a dull and dubious class of substances, Men Results: .-X man. with habits precarious. USU-3113 WWC Uljltb-ll 'HL 'tml ' . r . initis. Dllflllff staffes ol same llll I History: The Hrst man was a Vagabond, found roaming about b bb . I 1 . . . . served: Extreme shyness. stupif it in the Garden of Eden in search of his lost rib. . 1 heart, some jealousy and a large 1 ii Occurrence: Usually in combination with other men called wo-men. Physical Properties: These peculiar and interesting creatures may be distinguished from one another by the amount of knowledge they absorb. Many can generally be located in some corner dispen- sary studying booziology. Occasionally you may discover one who appears different from the rest, but do not be deceived-for all that glitters is not goldf' tell th when Chemical Properties: A bundle of c 1 't dollar suit Men have a great allinity it Ccigarsj, cocktails and pretty girl Experiment: Look into her 1 ir ose lies! For while you 1: 'IX you will keep still. Su end .with the same result. L If! ills oicei wrapped up in a ten- ters, who consider them merelj' 1 Uses: Yery largely in us- ' i - bill-settlers. Otlierwise. of ii -1 s DEQ? 4lL'lL L 1 Solomon Grundy CRCT'l.S0lf.D Born on Monday, Tonsils removed on Tuesday: Vaccinated on 'VVednesday, Appendicitis on Thursdayg Operation on Friday, Died on Saturday, Autopsy on Sunday. This was the end of Solomoi 36 1 Grundy. iI l A ch experiments, no matter

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Chemistry of Girls Definition: Girls are a polymeric, allotropic class of substances, with two legs each. , History: The first girl was discovered in a garden, under a leaf, the same year apples were discovered. Like the man who hrst made arsenic, the discoverer forfeited his life. Occurrence: Free and in combination with men. Physical Properties: Like crystals, girls may be distinguished from one another by their color, odor, density and form. They have the power of changing their form and color. Once or twice in a life- time you run across one altogether different from the rest, though observers do not seem always to be able to see the great differences you observe so easily. Chemical Properties: Sugar and spice And everything nice: That's what little girls are made of. The foregoing is not chemically true: neither is it true that they are made up Cthough many arej-made up, I say, altogether of dust. On the contrary, water forms seventy-five per cent. of their composi- tion. Just think of it! Seventy-five per cent. water, plus dust, equals girls !' Can it be that these lovely creatures, with the funny hats and the high-heeled Oxfords, are, after all, only so many solidified pud- dles, so to speak? Perish the thought! Truly, there is more to girls than just water and dust. After years of study and experiment I have succeeded in isolating the following elements, which are quite constant in their occurence in these wonderful bodies-laughs, cries, smiles, frowns, loves, hates, dates, kisses, deceit and sweetness. Can- not here give the technic eniployefl to reveal all ffl' ments. However. l will take the time anll give cedure of obtaining the kisses. Experiment: The partial absence of light is a girl whose nose is turned up. This is inipl-rtant a nose in your way just at the critical nioinezit. l divan and get thereon yourself. ,Xpply hot air: at mix in soft soap and salve: squeeze her hands. s will begin to ooze to her lips. from where their 6 moved. The author does not claim that the forcgl ling of obtaining kisses: not at all. 'llltere are nianf. just described. however. is perhaps thc lllfl-I eil: failure to obtain kisses it is invariably flue either 1 X the part of the operator-that is. faulty technie or t i wrong method for the particular case in hanfl. lf t t kisses are constant in their occurrence as a part Girls have a great affinity for new honnets. rosaline, and will combine in any proporti-iii ui t soda water. Their combination with nien result it 1 some queer products. Girls' reaction to criticism is accoinprniieti l i t ' effervescent fuming, spiteful explosions :intl qi in tt ti temperature. Uses: Used very largely ifi making of tr--ulit of girls. Nate! lt's the .t1I.I'fS we care aliour, l r Conclusions: lint tlo we care 11 slim- pe-qigfi my K D