South High School - Tiger Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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T HE CLASS A N N UAL OF C) 6 19 as giantesses. Clara Kjelsberg married Ingvald Koeltrud and they are now professors in a mathematical school. Marie Lundeen is their chief assistant. She spent ten years studying every known form of mathematics, and was lecturing on the impossibility of reaching the moon by telegraphy, when Loretta Lindscog invented a system of communication which disproved Marie’s theories. Since then she has been with the Koettrud’s. (Enter Imp.) Imp—Is Martha Brinsmaid here? Come; it has reached the ears of Satan that you spent too much time on earth at Velma Kluge s fashionable modiste establishment. You must answer. Vanity is a great sin in a throne garden. Esther Oh, Martha! It isn’t true! Mephisto Imp—Come, Miss Carlson, you are talking treason, and besides, you smile too sweetly. Come at once. (Exeunt Martha, Esther and the Imp.) Elliot—I say, that’s a shame! Gee! here’s Jake again! Lampert (entering)—Well, I got in at the right door this time. I'm just boiling over with news. Bertha—Tell us about it. When 1 was on earth I went to see Myra Fall and Josie Weber in a vaudeville dance. I tried to smuggle into hades some of Ethel Crittenden’s face cream, guaranteed to make the complexion as lovely as her own, and got caught. I have been here ever since. What’s the news? Lampert—Jessie Stearns hasbecome a member of a professional pin committee, guaranteed to provide pins for all classes without exorbitant price, and Mabel Linder has but recently completed her exploration of the Thibetian plateau. Charlotte—Did you hear that Myrtle Anderson was a professional writer of love letters and Jay Elliot used to deliver them for her before he came to us? I fancy he hasn’t told you. Elliot—That’s all right, Charlotte; you and Frances Hurlburt used to deliver mighty fine speeches as club women, even better than the woman suffrage lectures by Effie Brikheimer and Martha Blegen at Chautauqua. Lampert—Grace Law, after scoring many victories in basket ball, married a young lawyer who was attracted by her name. Mabel Limond is doing excellent work on a New York newspaper. Her senior year training at South High developed wonderful literary talents. (Enter Martha Brinsmaid and Florence Foster.) Martha—Here’s Florence Foster, the age’s greatest seer, whom ye do all remember. She’s just come, and can tell you about any of the absent classmates since this is the twenty-fifth anniversary of our club’s foundation. Rand—Well, well, Florence! tell us what become of Arthur Chase. Florence—He is taking Professor Ozias’ place.

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18 THE CLASS ANNUAL OF ’06 son and Lillian Nordell in a howling comedy, ' He Laughs Best Who Laughs all the Time.” (All smile reminiscently. Enter precipitately, Jake Lampert.) Lampert—Well, well! So glad to see you all! Been wanting to come for some time. Edna s sandwich wagon was a dreadful bore, and then, I got rather tired acting as chauffeur to Edward Enger’s automobiles. Since Ed’s been King Coaker’s dancing master lie’s kept me mighty busy. (Enter imp, with sharp-pronged fork.) Imp—Here, you ! Come away ! The keeper of the door way, Miss Kerr, demands your presence. You came in at the wrong entrance. (Exeunt Imp and Jake.) Tillie—Ah ! that reminds me ! I have a committee meeting with Mephisto, Clarence Oberg and Emily Hafstad. Clarence has such training as minister to England that he’s now Satan’s Chief Councillor. Emily joined an anarchistic association in Russia and was sent to Siberia. She escaped and led a revolution in South America. She was killed there and is now dictator of policies to Mephisto. (Exit Tillie.) May me—I must go, too. Peryl Johnson will be waiting for me. We have started a name bureau which fills a long needed want. Names Latinized, modernized, euphoni-fied, Frenchified and extra-letterized at reasonable rates. Tillie Will’s going to be one of our customers. (Exit.) Rand —Why was Beth filled with (re)Morse? Charlotte—That’s easy. Because Elliot’s a Jay. Marie—Oh, say! You know Lillian Flaten arrived some months ago and started a new sorority. Even the board of education is its firm friend. She is going to give an affair for Mae Thornton, who saved nine children from drowning in the Styx. We re all very proud of her, and I’m going to be there. (Looks at watch.) I must go now, but I’ll see you all again. (Exit.) Elliot (entering)—Good evening. I’ve just met a lot of the fellows and, as lord-high-knocker to his Satanic majesty, I can’t miss the chance of knocking a few. Mephisto just received a petition from “Pius Aeneas” which sets forth the brilliant, kindly virtues of Miss Friedlander, and the horrible torture she endured on earth; so he is sending her to the Blessful Islands, where a loud voiced, attentive Virgil class will make life a heaven. Fligelman—Oh, have you heard Ed Clark took such a dislike to German that he’s married a French girl? Martha—A marconigram from Esther Apelt who, because of her fondness for saying “hello” to people, is central on a big telephone exchange owned by Elsie and Howard Williams, says that Frances F'erguson and Anna Kramer are matrons of a children’s home, and Lizzie Aase is a botany teacher in a great eastern college. Bertha—I hear Signe Holmboe has won world-wide fame by discovering a chemical compound which will produce an extra foot of height in a single night. She is now preparing Hattie Robertson and Matie Crogan for exhibition

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20 THE CLASS ANNUAL OF '06 Martha— The prof, did never like the race, His pupils loved an easy case. His teachers liked a certain Grace, His daughter really liked A. Chase. Fligelman — But what about our teachers? (All laugh.) Florence—Presto, chango, singo. All—(Song.) IN 19-30-6 It’s nineteen-thirty-six. I see all my teachers here. Say, isn’t it all a dream? Professor Ozias is just paying our hack fare. Say, this must be all a dream! There’s Miss McDermid hearing brilliant recitations from A class on Monday, all in spite of Sundy’s peace-and calm. For seven days Miss Watts, now pastor, pours out healing balm. O, say, isn’t this all a dream? Chorus: O, say, isn’t this all a dream? O, say, can things be as they seem? There sits Miss Klampe, now the Pope infallible is she. Still Mrs. Buckman’s teaching I shall, you and he will be. O, say, isn’t it all a dream? O, say, isn’t it all a dream? II. Miss Kerr’s made classes learn. How’d she do it? Theorized. Say, isn’t it all a dream? Mister Westerson’s eyebrows have at last been paralyzed Say, this must all be a dream ! Monsieurde Bussieres still strives along with might and main, To make French idioms and speech to everyone quite plain; While all honor the champion of the Junior ball, Miss Swane. O, say, isn’t this all a dream? Chorus: O, say, isn’t this all a dream? O, say, can things be as they seem? Poor Miss Friedlander is quite deaf, she’s strained her hearing so; And Mr. Cook has cooked his goose and joined us down below. O, say, isn’t it all a dream? O, say, isn’t it all a dream?