South High School - Tiger Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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14 THE CLASS ANNUAL OF 06 Rand—Poor Piatt! His girl fixed him just about as Central used to. It broke his heart; and now he’s praying to the old South High Spirit of ’06. You’d better fix him up a bit. Fligelman (looking grave, puts on specs and makes cabalistic motions over astonished Piatt) — Thou hero of that ancient field, Just listen to my lay; Mephisto, he doth love such men, Such football heroes gay. He likes them cooked or roasted; He likes them done quite brown— So let him never see you ‘Till you’ve lived your record down. (Exit Piatt; enter Harry Nordlev, Tillie Will and Esther Carlson.) Nordley—Well, Tillie, what shall I do about it? The fellows want me as Chief-High-Speech-Maker, and I shall have to appoint committees, and I can’t----- Esther—Of course you can! Didn’t Perry Leonard do it? Even Louis Spiegel is doing excellent work as president of an English business college, where all literary and business instruction is instilled in your brains in six weeks—at three hours per week. Tillie—Oh, shucks! Give it up. The very idea of your thinking you could do such a thing as being president of an association of which I am not a member, is preposterous! Who is there to protest against unqualified members, bad measures, etc. ? Of course you can’t! I protest in the name of the organization, the populace, good government, and the honor of Mephisto—in the name of everything, and my advice as a thoroughly competent, logical and first judge, is “Go home! Politics is not for you!’’ Nordley (sorrowfully)—Well, I’ll see. Esther (consolingly) — Never mind, Harry; just keep it up. You know, you really do know how to pass a measure and dismiss a meeting all by yourself. Some day you’ll .know all the Roberts’ rules of order just as Perry Leonard does. (Exit Nordley.) Rand—Oh, I say, Esther, have you received a letter from George Johnson since he went down to Ignesurbs to be chief of police? Esther—Oh, yes; I’ve heard from him. His recommendations from Harry Nordley were excellent. He succeeded in capturing a loose idea of Euclid’s, which was doing damage in a club to which Jay Elliot, the Jevne boys and Virginia Slover belong. Sol (grinning)—Speaking of angels, etc., here she comes’ Haven’t seen her for ages. (Enter Virginia.) Virginia—Oh, boys, I’ve just had the jolliest haunting trip! But Arthur Reum just monopolized my attentions! I did get time to see Hazel Trevette Richley, though, Lars. She keeps a seminary for the social instruction of young men.

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THE CLASS ANNUAL OF ’OU 13 (Rand looks sulky.) But never mind, boys, Hazel’s “rich-ley” blessed after all; isn’t she, Lars? Rand (sternly)—See here, Nellie Erb ! Mephisto wants you down at the Styx Harbor to give Cerebrus his daily airing. If you don’t go right away he’s going to send the chief of his imps after you, and I tell you what, that’s no fun! Nellie — Oh dear! the horrid thine! (Exit.) Kittel—Well, old chap, what’s the news? Rand—Nothing much; Piatt’s just arrived. He died in St. Peter, raving over a combination of football and love affair. Hasn’t recovered yet. (Great noise outside; Piatt rushes in and bows down before the image.) Piatt— Thou god of great athletic frame. Thou Hercules of world-wide fame, Thou god of football brave, I pray thee now. Oh mighty one, My happiness to save! My heart is big, my shoulders wide; My football hair, twas e’er my pride; My grace—ah! sad to say— They call me clumsy, awkward, too; I’m like a lion at play. I called upon a maiden sweet ; She was so slight, so small, so neat; I called upon her much, But, ah! the woe, she bade me go! I stepped upon her feet! But thou. Oh god! whose mighty power Hath helped me through each doubtful hour, And even English Lit., I pray thee, make this maid relent— For thou with girls are it! Kittel—Oh, come off! Piatt; his scarlet majesty won’t stand any of that, you know. Rand—Oh, choke it, Ben. You’ll get used to seeing the other fellow march off with your girl. 1 did. And Haz that is, she was the best girl in forty townships! Piatt (heedless)—Oh, ye gods! it doth amaze me! Oh kindly spirits of hades, earth and Elysium ! Oh shades of Miss Kerr and-Chaucer! aid me in this distress! (Enter Sol Fligelman, with doctor’s valise.) Fligelman—Ah! a patient! Victim of revised football rules, is he? Oh, Piatt, really haven’t thought of him for some time. Been too busy fixing up North and Central stars who have arrived quite suddenly. South High’s doing something in athletics now. And, by the by, Carl Ott is still there, I hear.

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THE CLASS ANNUAL OF ’0(5 15 Full course given in three years. These haunting tours aresuch fun! (Sinks into a chair with much ado.) Rand—Oh, pickles! How about Arthur? Kittel—Yes, tell the news. Is Arthur still acting as Mr. Beatrice Fairfax? Thought he couldn’t get along without you? You certainly did make a hit in that line. Virginia—Yes, we did. Clyde Richley took our advice and won Hazel. Ethel Broadbent, who once encouraged a certain Jay Elliot, after we told her to beware of his fickle fault-finding, settled down in a house of her own, made her own furniture, and lives in solitary bliss with two canaries, a parrot, four cats and a teakettle. I called on her and she wasn’t a bit afraid. Rand—But tell us about Arthur! Esther—Yes, do! Virginia— Oh, well! I actually found him changing the place of my portrait on the piano. I started to scold him about it, but he has acquired such celerity in speaking!— You know, lie’s done a little insurance soliciting since I left— It took him so long to say good evening that the sun rose and 1 had to leave. In that way, and in guarding my picture, I spent most of my time. I must report to Mephisto, now. Good bye. (Exit.) All—Good bye. (Enter Jay Elliot.) Elliot — Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! The Sorority Girls are coming! (Fligelman. Kittell, Elliot and Rand sing. Enter girls in classic robes, with pennants. Song.) SORORITY SONG (Lohengrin Wedding March) Sol, Lars, Jay and Harry sing: Hail to the girls, Honored by all, Come they to greet us, Summoned at our call. Greek sisters they, Famed far and wide. Alpha and Beta, They stand side by side. Mayme, Martha, Marie and Charlotte enter, singing: Fresh from the shrines Of Hades’ queen Come we to join Our classmates serene. Greek sisters we, Famed far and wide; Alpha and Beta, We stand side by side.