South High School - Tiger Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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12 THE CLASS ANNUAL OF 06 SCENE Shades’ Haunts and Shadows’ Club Rooms. Harry Kittell m sits reading. Enter Perry Leonard as Central boy. Perry—By jinks! what a bang-up joint this is! First decent dump I’ve bumped into since I got chucked off the earth yelling. “South High’s on the bum !’ ’ Play me a game of dominoes? Kittell—(jumping up and grabbing his throat) No! I’ll not! This is the Shades, Haunts and Shadows’ Club of 00. I’ll have you know! See? Skidoo! Go down to the boilers where you can light your cigarette. Greer’s waiting for all you chappies down west of the great coal beds. Clear out, now, you Central dude! Leonard—(bowing mockingly) Ah ! pardon me. Are you his majesty? Kittell—No; but I am his special photograph agent. Vamoose! I say. Leonard—Why, certainly; sorry to have troubled you. See you later likely, your highness. (Exit.) Kittell—(grinning) Don’t worry; Central’s quarters are a trifle too near the Stygian equator for us. (Enter Nellie Erb.) Nellie—For de land’s sakes, honey, what’s that? Kittell—(burying his face in paper) Those Central dudes needn’t think they can run this place as long as I’m boss of this ward. I sent him down where he can see a practical illustration of how his majesty applies the laws of ebulition. Beastly dull here; almost as bad as civics classes. Nellie—Oh say! I saw Westerson the other day when 1 went down the Orcus to sell some of that new soap—don’t chap, roughen or redden the hands; makes the skin soft, smooth, white and as free from pimples and freckles as a baby’s. Perry Leonard’s manufacturing it. I’ll bring you some some day. Well, as I was saying. I met Westerson when I was canvassing. He caused Baron Munchausen and a few other joke writers contemporaneous with Methuselah to bring a suit of plagiarism against him. He vowed he’d never stolen anything but green apples and jam from his mother’s pantry, but a jury, composed of whispering zero getters from his civics classes found him guilty, and he was sentenced to staring an owl out of countenance six months a year for sixty years. He’s grown so portly and Hadesified I wouldn’t have known him if he hadn’t raised his eyebrows at me. (Enter Lars Rand; the group exchange greetings.) Nellie—Oh boys, listen to this clipping from the “Black and Orange Gazette”!— There was a young fellow named Rand, And he had considerable sand. When he went out to walk, He did nothing but talk— And Hazel thought she’d like him canned.

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THE CLASS A X X U A L OF ’06 11 GHass Itahuutr As Things Might Be Dramatic {Irranuar Ed. Clark.........................Me phis to Perry Leonard .... Central High Dude Belle Wolpy . . . Imp Attendant on Mephisto Florence Foster..................Fortune Tel (Club fflrmbrra Harry Kebbbll Frank Lawler Lars Rand Nellie Erb Harry Nordlby Esther Carlson Benj. Pecabb, Rainy Foot Tillie Will Sol Fligelman, a Doctor Idah Grey Jay Elliot Virginia Slover Jake Lampert, Chauffeur Bertha Sanford Suriirttif (Stria Martha Brinsmaid Charbbttb Kimmerbe Marie Lidma May.me Bailey Scene—Hades, Club Room of Shades, Haunts, Shadows Time—1936.

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THE CLASS ANNUAL OF ’OU 13 (Rand looks sulky.) But never mind, boys, Hazel’s “rich-ley” blessed after all; isn’t she, Lars? Rand (sternly)—See here, Nellie Erb ! Mephisto wants you down at the Styx Harbor to give Cerebrus his daily airing. If you don’t go right away he’s going to send the chief of his imps after you, and I tell you what, that’s no fun! Nellie — Oh dear! the horrid thine! (Exit.) Kittel—Well, old chap, what’s the news? Rand—Nothing much; Piatt’s just arrived. He died in St. Peter, raving over a combination of football and love affair. Hasn’t recovered yet. (Great noise outside; Piatt rushes in and bows down before the image.) Piatt— Thou god of great athletic frame. Thou Hercules of world-wide fame, Thou god of football brave, I pray thee now. Oh mighty one, My happiness to save! My heart is big, my shoulders wide; My football hair, twas e’er my pride; My grace—ah! sad to say— They call me clumsy, awkward, too; I’m like a lion at play. I called upon a maiden sweet ; She was so slight, so small, so neat; I called upon her much, But, ah! the woe, she bade me go! I stepped upon her feet! But thou. Oh god! whose mighty power Hath helped me through each doubtful hour, And even English Lit., I pray thee, make this maid relent— For thou with girls are it! Kittel—Oh, come off! Piatt; his scarlet majesty won’t stand any of that, you know. Rand—Oh, choke it, Ben. You’ll get used to seeing the other fellow march off with your girl. 1 did. And Haz that is, she was the best girl in forty townships! Piatt (heedless)—Oh, ye gods! it doth amaze me! Oh kindly spirits of hades, earth and Elysium ! Oh shades of Miss Kerr and-Chaucer! aid me in this distress! (Enter Sol Fligelman, with doctor’s valise.) Fligelman—Ah! a patient! Victim of revised football rules, is he? Oh, Piatt, really haven’t thought of him for some time. Been too busy fixing up North and Central stars who have arrived quite suddenly. South High’s doing something in athletics now. And, by the by, Carl Ott is still there, I hear.