South High School - Tiger Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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Class Book, 1904 15 educated the Eskimos so that they drink kerosene in place of raw oil. Kerosene has such a “refined” taste, don’t you know? Arthur Anderson is up there with him. He was a Methodist minister out on the coast but when Seth came along, went north with his outfit. 1 met quite a few members of old Xaughty-four.” I suppose you would like to hear of them. Mrs. Pun kins. Yes. Tell about them. Paystrcak. Well, first person I met was Arnold Anderson. He is third assistant cabin boy on the “A1 Ki.” plying between Seattle and Skagway. One afternoon when sitting on deck, someone started a funny- graft a-going. These were the words of introduction: “Hun- garian Rhapsody, by Miss Jeannette Gamble of London and Paris, Columbia Record!” Pearl Gunther, Etta Mvrcs and Emma I laker have a prosperous laundry near Sulphur Gulch. They do all of their work with gold dust! One day, up in Circle City, I came across a book by Miss Leah Fligelman, effectually disproving the Darwinian Theory. Everybody reads it up there. Let me tell you a little incident that happened in connection with it. Just as I’d finished a square meal and was leaving the table of a restaurant up there. I overheard one waiter remark to another: “No, he isn't descended from a monkey, he’s descended from a hog. Miss Mabel Hildebrand, the Albino, is traveling with Ring-ling’s circus. She attracts large crowds by her beautiful hair. When I was leaving the boat on my second trip to the states, I met Ruth Banker embarking for the far east. She is a trained nurse and her pleasant face has given courage to many a wounded soldier. Mrs. Saunders. Do you know what has become of Russel McBride? He went up there to hunt for gold. Paystrcak. Last 1 heard of him he was still hunting for it. Peter Ostrand has made quite a little dust. tho. You remember how muscular he was at school—he’s traveling around now, exhibiting as a strong man. Wal, I ain’t heard much news about you people. What’s become of George Johnson ?

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M Class Book, 1904 must have been a pretty good brakenian. lie broke me, anyway. I had just thirty cents left when he got thru. Paystrcak. That reminds me of once when I was coming down the trail. It was one of those narrow, winding trails that you never reach the end of. I met a porcupine. Now the porcupine is a despised animal but let me tell you, it has a great many good points about it. And porcupines aren’t any kind of pig. They get their name from stealing bacons and hams from the campers. When they steal the pork, you pine (porc-u-pine). Now. as I said, that trail wasn’t made for a four-in-hand to turn around on. On one side was a cliff and on the other side was another cliff. One went up and the other went down. And there wasn’t room for that porcupine and me to pass—I don’t see why they called it a pass, anyway. He couldn’t pass and I couldn’t pass. Ha! ha! That reminds me of when I was in school. 1 couldn’t pass there, either. Well, that porcupine looked at me and I looked at him. and we looked some more. In fact, the silence was becoming embarrassing. Then I took my pack off from my back and I hunted all through it until 1 found an old shoe. Chorus. What did you do with the old shoe? Paystrcak. 1 just shooed that porcupine away. (Bell rings. Re-enter Sally and John.) Mrs. Saunders. Hello, Sally. Been out for a little walk? i r imp kins. Ha! ha! I thought you'd forget the mail. Sally. Well a—h—I’m glad we've got good weather for plantin’ aren’t you, Mr. Jones? Jones. I don’t believe you remember this gentleman, do you, Sally? You were so young when lie lived here. He used to be our most perfect citizen. Always “bought his butter of a butter store (isn’t that natural?)” and his salt of a regular salt-cellar; did all of his swearing at the bar (I mean in court, of course), and never got married—he was our most perfect citizen. Paystrcak. Pleased, I'm sure. (As he takes off his hat. nuggets drop out. All stare open-mouthed). John. Nuggets! Paystreak. Them’s some Seth Gilkey gave to me. You remember him, don’t you ? He is a missionary up north now. He’s

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i6 Class Book, 1904 Jones. Oh, the advantage of his height naturally won him Mr. Nelson’s old position. He will greet you with pan and duster. Mrs. Saunders. Who’s heard about Nellie Worthington and Louise Campbell? Paystreak. Ha! They are teaching German to the little Indians at Klukwan. They learned the language so perfectly under Miss Klampe. Mrs. Pint kins.. Blanche Barsc is a demure school-ma’am up in northern Minn. Perkins. Did you know that Marion Springer was married? Chorus. No! Perkins. Yes; she married an old bachelor. Paystreak. How is Alice Bruce faring. Sally. From the number of elegant carriages that stop in front of a certain house on which a neat sign Fashionable Dressmaking” hangs, 1 judge that she and Emma Beckman are very prosperous. Nimpkins. Say! A city book agent was in here and sold me this book. He says it is a compendium of lots of information. You might sec if my eighty-nine cents’ worth is in there. Sally (to John). All right; let’s look at it. Mrs. Punkins. Yes; Miss Harter is going to be married to a young man from Red Wing. Sally (reading). The stars shine bright On a moonless night.” That’s by Lydia Bates. It says she is a good authority on stars. (Turns page, reads.) Mr. Barlow’s wind machine. What is that? Perkins. Haven’t you heard of Mr. Barlow’s wind machine? (All sing—tune “Oh, Dunderbeck.”) O, Barlow, Mister Barlow, how could you he so mean? The microbes and bacteria will never more be seen. They’ll be blown to atoms in Barlow’s wind machine. O, Barlow. Mister Barlow, how could you he so mean?