South High School - Tiger Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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CI a s s Boo k, j 9 0 4 5 (HlasH 0atj Sialogup Time: March, 1929. Place: A small country town. Scene: In the general store. Shr (East: Nimpkins, storekeeper.......................Theodore Bauer Sally Oatcake ...................................Agnes Hill Jones’ hired man, John.....................Brewer Goodsell Hiram Jones.................................Erwin Thompson Sarah Punkins...............................Marion Springer Myrandy Saunders.................................Alice Leland Timothy Pay streak, prospector.................Willis Xewton Ximpkins. Xo one seems to appreciate the trials of a country storekeeper. A man comes in and buys a fine saw and after using it a month brings it hack, claiming the saw has false teeth. Then another one comes in and says the auger I sold him bit him. Think of that! Buys an auger and gets hit for nothing. It just bores me. Now here comes a man into the store and he wants some chewin’ tobacco, and the first thing he asks for is Climax. I tell him that he ought not to have his climax first but should gradually work up to it—but he insists on having the Climax at once, contrary to all the rules of rhetoric. Then a man comes in with a little Colt to trade. Now don’t mistake me. 1 traded everything of value in the store for that little Colt. Some of those Colts have a forcible way about them. This one was a regular bulldog. I told the man to make himself at home. He did! He smoked a fifty-cent cigar at mv expense and said he enjoyed a gentleman's smoke. You see. he was a gentlemail of the road. Then here comes Jones’ wife for some canned fruit—some peaches—and she cant tell for the life of her what brand to take. But that’s an easy case. I simply tell her that Arthur Anderson likes the Hildebrand. (Door-bell rings.) Hello! Who’s thisr

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A Class Book. 1904 had never been produced, we might have survived our Senior year in full possession of our health and common sense. But alas, the whole year was marred by the study of that pagan script and at the end of it we found ourselves, like the ancient Latins, thinking backwards. One day the clock in our Virgil recitation room stopped. The suspense was simply unbearable. None of the awful places of which Virgil speaks could have caused a more intense nervous tension. Our achievements in the class room were insignificant when compared to the victories won by the members of the class in other lines. ()ur valedictorian not only secured the highest average for scholarship in the city but won second honors for the school in the “Lake Poets” essay contest. Another member of the class, a talented young lady, won third place in the State Debating League essay contest. Two members of the class were also on the school debating team which won the championship of the fifth and second congressional districts. These are but a few of the honors won by individuals and the class mav congratulate itself on having as members the stars of the championship football team, baseball team and divers other champions too numerous to mention. After a winter of study and work spring finally came around and the Beta Kappa Phi girls kindly invited the bovs to a picnic. 'I'lie boys brought eatables and naturally expected that the girls would pay expenses but they were disappointed. Leap year is not. after all, a blessing to the lx ys for they not only had to tackle the “grub” proposition but were kept in suspense as to their partners until some girl kindly condescended to ask them. The paramount issue of the year was, of course, the Senior Memorial. 'Flic means by which funds were to be raised caused considerable discussion. We finally decided upon the Journal Newsboys’ Band. At last we are readv to graduate. We have passed thru each of the successive stages, the stepping stones to seniority, supremacy and independence, and, as we stand upon the threshold of future activities, we look back and review, with pride, the career so glorious which has made us candidates for life’s battle. —Arthur Anderson.

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6 C I a s s Boo k, i p o 4 Enter Sally Oatcake. Simpkins. Goo l morning, Sally. How’s all the folks this morning? Sally. O. they’re pretty fair, except that one of the turkeys has a had cold, but maw said it would get over that if you jest gave it time. James has hung his tin watch around its neck. He says that ought to give it time. Is there any mail for Oatcake’s this morning? Simpkins. Yes. here’s a postal for you, Sally, from George Townsend. W hat will John say when he finds out you’ve got a fellow in town ? Sally. I haven’t got any fellow in town. Simpkins. You hev, too. Here is his name signed “your steady. George.” and he began it “Dearest Sal.” You can’t fool me; it’s right here on this postal. Sally. What business have you got reading my mail. I’d like to know. Simpkins. Wal, the mail-man gave me all the mail upside down and how could I tell which was yourn until I’d read both sides. Resides, in looking at a question, its always best to look at it from both sides. Sally. You haven’t any business reading my mail, anyway. Rut say—I made up a poem on the wav down here this morning. Do you want to hear it? Simpkins. I didn't know you was a poet, but sally out. I’ll listen. Sally. (), I ain’t a registered poet. This is the way it goes: O, there once was a Jay Traveling with 2.000 of hay. IYrched on his unbought load. Said he to the long road: “What are the wild, weary, whimpering winds saying?” Straightway the road turned And would his question have spurned: Rut. from the look of surprise In the Jay’s Ion.some eyes, He took pity, I surmise. And answered, thus-wise: “The wistful, whistling, winter winds are haying, not say-