South High School - Tiger Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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THE ADAMS HIGH SCHOOL OBSERVER. 9 Don't till up the aisle, girls, With your feet. There is just as much room Under your seat. If you want to go skating. Don’t wait until “The ice freezes over” As we heard that one will. If you’re on the programme. And want to get off, Don’t have the “mumps,” Or a “very bad cough.” 1 f you boys get new suits. Don’t do like the twins, They got them alike There the trouble begins. One gets the scolding That’s meant for another. And each one is taken, I’m told, for the other. And for pity’s sake, girls. If you’re going to teach. The most solemn advice 1 can give to you each. Is, don’t imitate teachers Of this present day, By answering your suitors With that heart breaking “nay!” C. L. A. V. V. ■Description of Ye TDississippi. THE Father of waters is ‘‘some” when he gets on a bendei, and being desirous of seeing him in one of his ebulitions of wrath. I visited the suspension bridge to look him over aud not finding the ancient gentleman as tierce as I had expected I was forced to imagine him rolling aud tumbling along, sweeping away logs, furniture, dwellings aud so forth and so on and on some occasions even taking the boot johns unceremoniously out of the chamber windows of political mansions alias the dwell- ings of Erin, and cutting up many other capers, too numerous to mention, to the groat discomfort of his friends: who, though they have placed numerous impediments in his way, have never been able to arrest him in his downward career. We have now still to imagine him pitching and tossing on nis uneasy bed all the way from St. Cloud to St. Paul. His couch we may conclude is not an easy one if we judge by the number of rocks congregated at the falls, and if occasionally the old gentleman has retired home late at night with a brick in his hat he has deposited it also in his place of repose along with his other treasures of “earth and air.” His breadth is very much like that of the gentleman mentioned in the Ethiopean ballod: “His coat’s so big that he couldn’t pay the tailor ami it wouldn’t go half way round.” Of course with such dimensions he is not able to clothe himself throughout the entile year and so continues in a state of nnuressible during the summer, though in winter he is posessed of, “A coat of mail that need not fear The downward point of many a spear.” With as variable a disposition as he possesses he is either up or down in the m uth all the time. At the spring of the year he gets quite high over the awakuing seasons but in summer be has to dry up like the rest of mankind and actually gets so shallow minded that he bars out all his friends and will hardly let them visit this city unless well poled, for caning never seems to alter him in the least. The valley which claims him as its own is skirted on both sides by hills, more or less abrupt. We are unable to state the side that has the most commanding heights but we are informed that it is either the right or left bank or possibly the one on which are the highest bluffs. The rivers are very respectful to the old fellow and consequently pay him tribute: One

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8 THE ADAMS HIGH SCHOOL OBSERVER. official splendor, gave a brightness and charm to the scene, to which the gay attire of a thousand ladies added still greater beauty. But the priests of the temple of literature were there in great numbers. Poets, authors, editors, artists, actors and the like, and to my mind it seemed that these had most right to lay a fresh green wreath on Shakspeare’s grave, or offer a garland to his immortal fame. Everybody of course visited the home of the bard, and the penciling on the walls was so thick and crowded with so many Smiths and Joneses, and the like, that I resolved to be one 1 of the few, the immortal few, who did not write my name. In the Town Hall all the available Shakspeare relics were shown, and the chief memorials of those who had spent their last days in presenting Shakspeare’s plays to the world were on view. Memorials of Garrick and the elder Kean and Macready. I wandered on to the old church, where the monument of Shakspeare is to be found, and the bust is perhaps the most reliable of all the representations of the bard. The face is bland and cheerful, genial and bright, the face of one whom you would judge to be a very pleasant and desirable companion. In the evening came the banquet, and then the speeches. And such speeches! Grand, magnificent, sublime! Every man magnifying himself at the expense of Shakspeare. I was soon tired of the speeches, and went for a quiet j stroll alone on the banks of the Avon, under the shadow of the stately elms. The hour for returning came, and we started for Coventry. The moon shone bright in a , sky thick-studded with innumerable stars. We passed the castle keep of ancient Warwick, and soon the gray towers of Kenilworth gleamed in the moonlight. I could almost fancy that the wheel of time had rolled backward. There was music and dancing, Leicester was paying court to the great Elizabeth, and poor Amy Kobsart was breaking her heart in the shadow nf that elder thicket by the gray old wall. But the visiou passed, and the three tall spires of Coventry soon came in sight. It seems as if it was but yesterday, and yet it’s twenty years ago. I still think this 23d of April should be called “Shakspeare’s Day.” Tdvice to Seniors. Even the seniors once in a while Do something which isn’t quite right So I thought it quite a good plan To bring these things into sight. I’ve arranged in a very few words, Some nonsense I’ll call advice. I’ll invite each senior here today To take for himself a slice. Don’t stick your legs forward Under two or three seats, Or do any other of Burt’s strange feats. When girls wink at boys, Dont wink both eyes. Miss Maud please accept this “It’s just your size.” If yon want to be silly, ( r cut up some prank, Do so just a little Like our “Ball Nine Crank.” If you want to chew gum, Do it neat and slick But don’t chew on both sides, For that makes one sick. When you curl your bangs Don’t sizzle the ends And then do as one did, When she made amends. When you’re at the library Sit down and be quiet, And don’t, like our president, Create a riot. Don’t “Get your mouth ready” Wheu a girl speaks to you, For that’s the way some Of the German class do.

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10 THE ADAMS HIGH SCHOOL OBSERVER. f. of them in particular is pouring a Hum rivor into him all the time. Of course, with such a lot of spirits free, it is no wonder that the reverable chap gets on a bender occasionally. The shrubbery principally consists of Dog Fennel. John oaks, four leaved clover and sumach. The quality of the soil is such as to soil the clothes of the persons that come in contact with it. The objects of interest are the Winslow Ghost shanties and Bunkers liquidine which lost may be seen any day by going to the railing of the mills platform and looking at the largest rock on the other side of the river. Now having written the best description of the old hero that wt are able, we will leave it to your imagination to till out the rest of the picture and making our best how will reti.-e. —From the Owl. We would be glad to receive critisisms on this composition. Let all of our subscribers try their hand at this. The best critisism will be in our next issue. %