South High School - Lens Yearbook (Columbus, OH)

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SOUTH ITIGH ANNUAL RESOLVED THAT BASEBALL SHOULD BE ABOLISHED Affiwimtive-Baseball is the crookedest game of all time. The players rob each other of hits, steal bases, hit the ball on the nose, let a player die on third base, and try to make a double killing. The players even act like children for after knocking the ball over the fence they run for home. Negcbtfioe-You win. TEACHER: NVhat student was so rude as to laugh out loud? FROSH: I laughed up my sleeve, but there is a hole in the elbow. -Sun Dial. tWVhat is an opportunist? One who meets the wolf at the door and appears the next day in a fur coat. -Sun Dial. MR. DUNLAP: That 's right, Bob, you 're the only one in the class that studies. ROYCE E.: Yes, and he do11't study. MR. RICHARDS: YVhy weren't you you in school Monday? WILLIAM: I have an excuse sir. MR. RICHARDS: Yes, I've seen her, and a pretty good excuse I call it. YYOUNG THING: I'd like to buy a pettieoat. FLOORWALKER: Antique department on third floor, Miss. The investigators have discovered a 1925 model Ford still in use. Oo-ED TO ED: Oh, what a cute tie. I wish I had a. dress made out of that. There is at least one girl who doesn't want to get marriedf, How do you know? I've asked her. IVOMAN TO OOCK: Oan you take care of a large party? COCK: CUse any answer you wish to this so long as it doesn't refer to a 430 pound polieemanj. MAN TO POET QUITE LITERARY: Did your wife ever inspire you to write anything. POET: Yes, she inspired The Storm. MARY CATHERINE: Great Scott, I've forgotten who wrote Ivcmh0e ! THELMA: I'll tell you if you tell me who in the Dickens wrote The Tale of Two. Cities. How's your radio? Fine, wonderful! Last night I got a quartet and tuned out the second tenor.'7 SHE: NVhy is it that at some times you seem so manly and at others so absolutely effeminate? HE: Heredity, I suppose. SHE: Heredity! HE: Yes, half my ancestors were men and the other half were women. :ummm mnumm uunnmm . mwmiiiIIiiInmuiu:mmnnuun uni:

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SOUTH HIGH ANNUAL 1 IVith the Charleston in vogue we would advise the High School officials to ieenforce the gym floor. You ean't tell when the floor will weaken. Girls use mirrors to see if their faces are clean, and boys use the towel for the same purpose. FRESHY C100kiUQZ Ht fraternity pin on one of our seniorsj : IVhat are those letters? SENIOR: Greek. FRESHY: Oh! Do you go around with a Greek fellow? MR. KOLB: A man can't get into anything now a days without a. woman following him. He can lt even get in suspenders without a female going after him. I MR, MACDONALD: Who knows where Carl Ivallaee is? ROY W.: Honest, He's home sick. ' . hi-R. KOLB: Tell me what a carpet bagger is. STUDENT: One who carries his clothes in a carpet. Of all the sad surprises, Theo'e's oz.othmg to compare, With. treaclivzg in the clairlmess, On e step that isn't there. I , ---H - -- -School cmd Field. IRATE MOTHER Cat dinnerj: Johnny, I wish you'd stop reaching for things. IIaven't you a tongue? , JOHNNY: Sure Mom, but my arm's longer. MOORS: I know a man who 's been married twenty years and he spends all of his evenings at home. RITCHIE: Tlhatls what I call love. MOORS: Nawg you're wrong. It's paralysis. 1i. g One of our young friends wants to know if the State of Matrimony is one of the United States. NVhat do you think of a man who throws a girl a kiss? I tliink he's the laziest man in the world. When girls quarreled they used, to kiss and make up. Now if they kiss, the make-up's all off. ' il,-i-.1-ii, IWAIDEN AITNT2 And what brought you to town, Henry? IIENRYZ Oh, well, I jus' come to see the sights and I thought that I'd call on you first. O Opportunity knocks but once. Install one of our electric doorbells now! MR. KOLB: YVhat phrase saved the day. H. LOEOHLER: Let us Pray! unnumnunum mnumun mmnnnunuummnmnn

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SOUTH HIGH ANNUAL 1. Everybody in college is kidding me about my girl back home. 2. How come? 1. It told a dumb freshman to post a letter for me and he tacked it up on the ca mpus bulletin board. VOICE Cover phonej. Quick! There 's a fire down the street! FIRE CHIEF Cindignantlyj : Say who'd ye think this is, the street sprinkler? FARMER: Now, come along and I'll teach you to milk the cow. GREEN IIAND: Seeing since I'm new hadn't I better begin on the calf 'Z MR. KING: John tell me what you know about the age of Elizabeth. JOHN Csleepilyj : She'll be nineteen next week. LITTLE TOMMY Cat rubbish dump observing goat nibbling among tin cansb : WVhy don't goats give canned milk? Traditionally brought up young lady, looking at a iig tree for the first time: But I thought the leaves were bigger than that! If you want to tell the teachers where to get off get a. job as a. conductor. SON: Mother, do cows and bees go to heaven? MOTHER: Of course not, son. Wlhy ask such a foolish question? SON: Gee! All that milk and honey the preacher said they had up there must be canned stuff. TEACHER: Remember, my children, the mighty oak was once a little nut itself. MR. KOLB: Loechler if you are so unfortunate as to be in my section next year, I will pay half and you will pay half for a pair of rubber heels. H. LOECI-ILER: They wear out too quick. I have heel plates on these to pre- serve them. .-. MR. KOLB: NVell, they nearly pickle us. NVe pity the poor fellow who says that a baseball team can 't have fourteen errors because there are only nine players. -School mzicl Fielol. ODDS AND ENDS The natives of Japan never comb their hair While eating breakfast. If Kansas City were the capital of the United Sta.tes the President would live there. i l 5 It doesn't take any longer to haul potatoes in Ireland than'1t doesiin Algeria. The naturalized citizens of Germany can never see the ceiling Without look- ing up at it. t Eskimos never say Pardon me, unless they speak English fluently. The Italians do not care for gravy on their icecream. The people of South America do not hang Chili beans on their Christmas trees. -School cmd Field. im