South High School - Index Yearbook (Worcester, MA)

Page 36 text:

scrape a living. They used alcohol and turpentine, you could take either. Thomas McGauley, our well-known politician, ran for office and, alas for him and his, he caught it. Being of a jovial turn Tom soon turned a jovial being, and at last he decided that the climate of Canada was more beneficial to his complexion, and left the city hall. That was about all he did leave. In order to keep more in touch with other people's love affairs, Mildred Duncan, Helen Hainbury, and Madge Forsythe formed a company of three and became Jewelers. Millie took one-half of the shares, and Madge and Helen one quarter each. Of course Mildred ran the establishment and settled the weighty questions of the Hrm. In spite of this their business prospered and the girls were soon able to buy out Durgin and Browning. Helen read the novels, Madge drew the illustrations for the firm's ads and Millie sold engagement rings. Finally it became necessary to make the space behind the counter greater than that in front of it in order to accom- modate Mildred and she had to withdraw. She then took charge of the curtains and gum machine. I was very sorry to find that Charles Albert Batty had not been successful. Al got a job in the Worcester Market but lost it the same day because he sold a blind man soft-soap for butter. just at present Al was not doing anybody in particular and was living on his credit. A hopeless man-hater, wishing to avoid the sex as much as possible, Edna Dyer left the sad sea waves at Willard Beach, bought a farm, and settled down to lead the simple life with a cow, two hens and a cat. Edna received a medal from Washington for perfecting a new kind of grape fruit, produced by grafting a watermelon on to a squash. Later Edna became famous by discovering a sure cure for the measles. Doubtless Edna's experience in this line aided her in making her discovery. Out for the Dust was Helen Sellar's motto. She had fol- lowed the horses successfully and now owned Handsome Paul, the famous racer, who had been known to do a mile in 6:03 when he was in a hurry. Helen had gone to Carlyle to learn to be a Nourse, but the Dean of the college wouldn't allow it. Giving up the idea of going on the stage because she was afraid 32

Page 35 text:

play by Selig Simons, had caused the author no end of trouble. The anarchistic views expressed by Simons in his work caused his arrest and imprisonment. Shortly after his release Selig and Allan Meade formed a company to drop the North Pole into Vesuvious and supply the world with steam. Roosevelt confiscated the com- pany's charter for nature-faking. Our religious friend, Janet Briggs, finding Luke uninteresting gave up studying the Bible and was now running a quick lunch restaurant with Ruth Bartlett, Gladys Boyce and Helen Bray as waitresses. Ruth stood out on the sidewalk, advertising her Rice and attracted much attention and more or less trade,-mostly less, Gladys served the customers, and Helen stood at the back door and looked at them to make them eat less and get out more-but their success was due mostly to janet's diplomacy. Whenever the butter or beef was bad janet made the girls put on an extra ribbon, ring, or dab of powder, and the customers did not notice the poor quality of the food. just at present janet was suffering from a bad attack of vocal agony. His years at South High civilized Roy Harrington to such an extent that after graduating he was able to leave the wilds of Oxford and secure a position on the Boston Post. Roy posed for the comic supplement and he was the original Ruffy Fluflles. Edna Squires' seraph-like voice secured her a position singing- For the Edison Phonograph Co. Edna was a howling success and was reported to be a regular record-breaker. The name of Carrie Nation had sunk into oblivion since the appearance of the world-famed temperance revivalists, George Deveneau and his assistants:-Anna Dick, Gratia DuGuay and Ethel Chase. Their place, although somewhat different from Carrie's, was just as effectual. The quartette would board a train at Boston and George would rush through the cars, calling for a cork- screw. The girls followed close behind him and made every man who produced a cork-screw sign a pledge for five years. When the train reached some dry town, as Worcester, the converts would get off, and there, far from temptation, they would start life anew. Walter Deedy, Frank VValker, and Donald Russell started a barber shop, but were not very successful. They were such cut-ups that they were having a close shave and were hardly able to 31

Page 37 text:

of catching cold, Elsie Hoeftmann, another of Arthur's round table, went to work in the Boston Store. But, alas, they didnit understand Elsie as well as we do and she didn't stay there long. Elsie wrote an ode to the ancient poets entitled, UO Homer, Howe I Love You! After that she went round the country lecturing on Woman's Rights. Mary Richardson married a car conductor, but as he didn't love her, she got a transfer and became a doctoress. Diseases of the heart were her specialty. One morning she arose rather late and paid a visit to a patient who was suffering with pneumonia. Mary laid her head on the sick man's breast and told him to count. When Mary, with a start, awoke the patient, was continuing weakly, Ten hundred and sixty-nine, ten hundred and seventy, ten hundred and seventy-one ..... On the strength of a recommendation from Mr. Woodward, john jefferds became night watchman in the Five Cent Savings Bank. john resigned the next day, however. The money talked so much he couldnit sleep. The world of science was dumb-founded by the marvelous dis- coveries made by our celebrated stars, Herman Batty and Goody Robinson. Their latest was a composition of Shredded Wheat and Malted Saw-dust, put up in tablet form, to help you to get up in the morning. If you wanted to get up at tive o'clock, you took five tablets, at six oiclock, six tablets, etc. At exactly the right hour the tablets would cause a ringing in the ears. Within six months the Alarm Clock Trust was put out of business. And the immortal Bessie, the second Niobel QD The dashing Miss Morley was still waiting for him to shake his college caps and motorcycles for nobler things. Of course, she never really waited, for Bessie was an authoress, almost as good as Pa Morley, of Ta- tassit fame. She wrote one satire, entitled, The Fatal Puff. It was the tale of a little hair, now donit think I'm talking about rab- bits. Among Bessie's best works were:- The Songs of Roland, t'The Passing of King Philip and The Mystery of the Question Club or W'hy We Left so Early and so Often. Failing to make a living writing poetry, Bessie's inventive genius soon got busy and she perfected a new kind of puffs, not cream puffs, either. They were the kind warranted not to work loose. Well, Bessie, ex- perience is a good but sad teacher. Finally the Ostermoor Mattress 'J fm UO