Somerville High School - Radiator Yearbook (Somerville, MA)

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24 SOMERVILLE HIGH SCHOOL RADIATOR Humor-ettes ■jcrs s zasssssaaffi HUMOR The world is old, yet likes to laugh New jokes are hard to find; A whole new editorial staff Can’t tickle every mind. So, if you meet some ancient joke, Decked out in modern guise, Don’t frown and say the thing’s a fake, Just laugh — don’t be too wise. Just think what laughs the next generation will have at our Empress Eugenie. Prof. “Give me an example of the Dead language.” Student: “This is on the house, boys.” Drunk: “Thish match won’t light.” Drunker: “Washa matter with it?” Drunk: “I dunno. It lit all right a minute ago.” Miss Bradford: “Ink your drawings with precision.” Soph: “Please, teacher, where do we find the precision ?” We thought you might like to know — The best face-lifting surgeon is deah, old Dec Prosperity. Then there’s the Junior who “hooked” school and then discovered it was Saturday. A Londoner was recently knocked down by a perambulator (baby carriage to you) ancf died from his injuries. (Ed. note: Sophs will please park carriages on the other side of Library). The only thing worse than athlete’s foot is athlete’s brain. Mr. Donahue: “What was the Mayflower Compact?” Student: “A new kind of powder.” Poemtry Section — Ode to a Mosquito Quick Henry It Lit Bit Flit “You sometimes find a pearl in an oyster stew,” remarked the waiter pleasantly. But the customer only grunted: “I’m look- ing for oysters.” Soph: “What college are you going to?” Senior: “Shoe College.” Soph: “I never heard of it.” Senior: “It’s a little higher than Oxford.” (Ed. note: And they slaughter houses). My muttering law felon alliance cage. Glad- iator.

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SOMERVILLE HIGH SCHOOL RADIATOR -and our backs should have watched their passes. SIDELINES Bv Robert S. Miller I RECENTLY witnessed a wrestling match and was struck with the similarity of the scene of two pachyderma laboring in the referee’s hold and the sight of some of our student dancers doing the “four hundred.” Somerville High School has quite a giant tri- angle of coaches in Charles Dickerman, ex- Frinceton ace, and Robert Buckley and Mc- Kelvey, well-remembered players at Mt. St. Mary and Villanova, respectively. They might be called the “Big Three” of the instruction •department. In the Waltham game, all sport reporters were requested to surrender their seats to band members. I know that “the pen is might- ier than the sword,” but, I wonder, is it might- ier than the ----? Track followers will be gratified to learn that another cross country team is to be or- ganized under the direction of a competent •coach, to be appointed soon. This running ovent is rightfully gaining in popularity with the students, who now appreciate its value, in that it keeps one out of doors and offers vigor- ous exercise. Wanted: A quarterback or a cheer leader who can emit a war whoop like Joe E. Brown’s “eeyaaah”; a few original and unusual excuses or “gags” for the Noble Order of Gate Crash- ers to use at Dilboy Field, and just one girl who didn’t think that a quarterback was money one received on a refund. SHAKESPEARE On Saturday, October 17, a group of first- year English students attended a performance of “As You Like It,” which was given by the Stratford-Upon-Avon Festival Company at the Tremont Theatre, Boston. This company di- rect from the Memorial Theatre in Stratford, carry on the traditions of the old Globe Thea- tre in which the famous bard himself was once .an actor. 23 On Looking Wise (Continued from page 6) ing their ignorance discovered. A few people may rejoice in thinking they have succeeded in their attempt to look wise, because it gives them confidence in themselves, and this is very essential to them. Others think it good judgment to look wise. Business men who have earned the right to give their opinions, recommend the habit of looking wise. They consider it an asset. Study the face of someone whom you know well. Watch him attempt to look wise when real knowledge is shown on a subject. He will no doubt look comical to you, but your own attempt may prove to be even worse — it prob- ably is. You will find that it is useless to try to deceive others, for wisdom is knowledge practically applied and the only one whom most of you could deceive would be yourself. Agent: “We have no objection to a dog in your apartment.” Prospective Tenant: “Yes, but can I bring my Austin in here?” Mr. Avery to truant: “What are you doing back in school? Didn’t you read my letter?” Truant: “Yes, sir; inside and out. Inside it said: ‘You are expelled,' and outside it said: ‘Return in five days.’ ” “Excuse me, constable,” said the old gentle- man, “but here is a parcel of fish which I found in the railway station.” “Right sir,” answered the new officer of the law, “if it isn’t claimed in six months, it’ yours.”

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Jumbles Johnny hesitated when his teacher called on him to recite. The teacher, who wished to cure pupils of bluffing, said to him: “John, what would you call a person who pretends to know everything ?” Johnny (immediately): “Why, a teacher, of course.” Patronize Both Stores for Lunch Boys and Girls FINKKI.STKINS (Opposite School) IIKLKN’SI.I (’HKONKTTH HELEN PROCTOR, ’ll. Proprietor 415 HIGHLAND AVENUE West Somerville, Mass. Tel. Somerset 152‘. Toasted Sandwiches - Regular Dinners THOMAS Ql INN HAIR DRESSER 253 Elm Street. Davis Square West Somerville, Mass. Suspicious Old Lady (on a farm): “What’s the stuff on those sheep?” Farmer: “Wool.” Suspicious Old Lady: “I bet it’s half cot- ton.” Tel. Somerset 1794 We Deliver TAURN1NG l OUGHNUT Co. 237 ELM STREET SOMERVILLE SOMERVILLE NATIONAL BANK Union Square, Somerville, Mass. Established 1892 SiivIiiks l'oreiicn Ivxcliaimc TruMt Dept. Safe Deposit lloxes CAPITAL SI00.000 Surplus and Profits $273,000 The Only Hank in Somer- ville n Member of the Federal Reserve System THE GIRL IN BUSINESS The K«rl who wishes to secure that training which is necessary to qualify for an executive position should make her plans NOW. Write, telephone, or call f r a catalog of the CHANDLER SCHOOL which for nearly fifty years has been a leader in this particular field, and offers most unusual advantages. ALAN W. FURBER, Sc.B., Director 159-165 Massachusetts Ave. (near Boylston) Boston. .Massachusetts