Somerville High School - Radiator Yearbook (Somerville, MA)

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SOMERVILLE HIGH SCHOOL RADIATOR $ his food supply with fruits from neighboring trees and some wild rice. He had not, however, seen any trace of savages. Two miles away great preparations were be- ing made for the wedding of Chief Oompah and the captive daughter of one of the gods of Mars. This unfortunate deity had in a reck- less moment cast aside his magic protection and tried living on Startus, bringing his beau- tiful daughter with him. Oompah, upon see- ing her, had straightway longed to add her to his seventeen other wives. Her father, protest- ing, had been speared by Oompah’s men before he could invoke the aid of his divine brethren. The unfortunate girl was almost immediately ordered to prepare for her wedding. She was left alone for a minute or two, and in a sudden desperate resolve, she lifted the back of the unguarded grass hut and stole forth into the night. Once clear of the hut she ran for her freedom. In the meantime Simeon, little realizing the important events which were transpiring with- in a few miles of him, had succeeded in put- ting together the battered parts of his radio set. and was trying to hear some of the sta- tions on the earth. He was getting W. G. Y. at Schenectady, when there broke upon his ears the most horrible barking that he had ever heard. He had just removed the phones from his head, and thrown the switch turn- ing the power into the wire fence, when the door burst open and into the room staggered a girl, her clothing torn and flesh scratched by the bushes and vines. With an agonized cry of relief she hurled herself into his arms and fainted. Sim was at a loss to know what to do. He had a feeling that this sort of thing was not exactly conventional, but as for a solu- tion of the problem, he had none. The bark- ing had suddenly stopped, so seizing two Ro- man candles which he had brought, he rushed out into the enclosure, leaving the girl, par- tially recovered, on a bench made of two of the trunks. Oompah, entering the girl’s hut a few min- utes after her departure, discovered her ab- sence. Calling his henchman, Snyderglob, he ordered him to summon the dogs. Oompah prided himself on two things, his wives and his dogs. Of the former he had seventeen and of the latter seventy. 11 is pack was the fiercest and best on the planet, and was used chiefly to subdue or pursue his seventeen wives when, in fits of anger or jealousy, they ran away. The dogs were now put upon the trail of the runaway and followed by Oompah alone, as usually was the case in his matrimonial con- quests, gained rapidly upon the fugitive. They were almost upon her when she beheld the strange hut with the light in the windows, and utilizing the last of her ebbing strength she pressed forward. Just as she stumbled between the strands of the wire fence the current was turned on, and fifty-five of the dogs following behind her sprang at the wire and were in- stantly killed. The remaining fifteen, seeing the fate of their comrades, stood for a minute in open-mouthed astonishment and then fled. When Oompah came up a minute later and saw fifty-five of his pet dogs hanging on the wire he went post haste for his tribe. They arrived in a remarkably short time greatly out of breath, just as Simeon emerged from the doorway with his two giant Roman candles. The savages, seeing him, rushed forward, but Sim, lighting one of the candles, turned it full upon them. Not being able to understand this force which sent balls of fire chasing them, they turned and fled, Oompah in the lead, stumbling over stones and brush in his mad rush. Believing himself rid of the savages Sim re- entered the hut. The girl, now fully recovered, welcomed him thankfully, and implored him to name his desire that she might serve him. “I would like,” said Simeon, “to return to the earth and take you with me. Ah, if it were possible.” He turned, but the hut no longer held another occupant. Puzzled he beheld the girl in the doorway, her hands raised as if in supplication. Her face was lifted and there was a smile upon it. Suddenly she turned and came toward him. “My prayer will be answered,” she exclaimed. “We will soon be on the earth, how? I do not know.” The New York Times for April 20, 1963, in- formed the world that:— Professor John Simeon Simpkins, Jr., the young man who, in the interest of science, es- sayed a trip to the moon, has returned to the earth. He reports that he did not reach the moon but the planet Startus. How he returned to earth he is unable to explain, as his rocket was demolished in the landing on the planet. He believes that it was through the aid of di- vine assistance, but, while we do not wish to argue with such a learned man as Dr. Simp- kins, we are skeptical. We learn that Dr. Simp- kins has just purchased the Snow estate at 11 Westwood road, where he will reside with his wife from Startus.

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SOMERVILLE HIGH SCHOOL RADIATOR T A Scientific Bungle Bv Donald T. Bring, 1925 OW he got there he did not know. It is sufficient to say that he was there. He possessed a somewhat hazy idea that he had come from another world. That did not mat' ter. What did matter was the fact that he was hungry. Very hungry. In fact, although he did not know it. he had traveled over sixteen billion miles since last dining. Casting his glance over the nearly barren sur- face of his resting place, his eye fell on the battered remains of a huge rocket. Suddenly a glimmer of understanding came into his tired eyes. From the pocket of his overcoat he pulled a worn copy of the New York Times for April 16, 1963. Covering the greater part of the front page was an article informing the world that:— “John Simeon Simpkins, Jr., the renowned young scientist, will today set off in a specially constructed rocket in an endeavor to reach the moon. Dr. Simpkins will carry with him especially prepared scientific instruments, in- cluding a powerful radio set of the latest type, made by the S. S. Kresge Company of Boston.” With a satisfied smile Sim, as he was called by these of his friends who managed to pene- trate his armor of serene imperturbability, re- placed the paper in his pocket. The “powerful radio set of the latest type” lay scattered in as many parts as the latest model of Henry Ford’s “aids to pleasure and transportation’’ are after a few months of ser- vice. He pulled from his pocket a high tension chronometer in which was incorporated a cal- endar and an alarm clock, made especially for the trip by the foremost and best watchmakers in New England, at the Ingersoll factory in Waterbury, Connecticut. It was then high noon of the twelfth. He had started at seven that morning. From the aforementioned battered remains of his rocket he extracted a package of ham sandwiches and a speedometer. The speedo- meter registered 16,000,000,008 miles. He fell to munching the ham sandwiches and calculat- ing his distance from the earth. After a great deal of deliberation and consulting various charts and maps, he finally arrived at the con- clusion that he was not on the moon, but on the planet Startus. The name Startus sounded familiar. “Where,” said he. “have I heard that name before?” Suddenly he remembered. In an old scientific journal for 1931 there had been an article on the planets which were thought to be inhabited. The article, if he remembered rightly, had stated that this planet was in- habited by a race of savages, very fierce and warlike, in which case it behooved Sim to find a shelter which might be defended from at- tack. Why he had not looked farther than the immediate vicinity he did not know, for, as he rounded a clump of bushes he beheld a small hill, near the top of which was a stream of clear cool water. He immediately decided to make this the site of his home. He felt rather tired after the journey and excitement and so, postponing further improvements in his- condition, he made a couch of branches and retired. On the following day he spent a busy morn- ing transporting the contents of the rocket and the pieces of that vehicle up to the sum- mit of the hill. From the luggage compart- ment in the rear of the rocket he took four small trunks. The first contained his cloth- ing and personal effects. He set this to one side of the trail out of his way. The second contained food supplies, and this he took care to place within easy reach. The other two he opened when he had deposited them on the top of the hill. First he took out a vest pocket cement mixer, which with the utmost care he set up in the stream below the spring, in order to utilize the water power. Next came a com- plete electrical plant weighing only ten pounds but which could generate, using the same stream for power, enough electrical current for a small town. From the last trunk he took a. series of very thin aluminum plates, which he fastened together to form a fair-sized hut con- taining two small rooms. When the work of putting this together was completed, he set the tiny cement mixer to work while he col- lected rocks of various sizes. The completion of a well cemented enclosure of stone, surround- ing his aluminum heme, marked the end of his second day’s labor, and it was with a more se- cure feeling that he retired to rest. By noon of the third day he had strung a wire fence around the house, and a spring which could at will be charged with sufficient electricity to electrocute persons, and enlarged

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SOMERVILLE HIGH SCHOOL RADIATOR 9 With the Faculty This Summer It is always interesting after the two-months vacation to know what the faculty, as well as the pupils, have been doing during that time, whether they were traveling, studying, work- ing or just “vacationing” like many of us. Of the seventy-seven teachers, two, Miss Smith, of the English department, and Miss Cunningham, of the Spanish department, were fortunate enough to visit Europe. Miss Smith visited England, Holland, France, Italy and Ger- many. Miss Cunningham spent the month of July in Spain and August in Italy, France, Switzerland and England. Both travelers re- port a most enjoyable and profitable vacation. Miss Teele studied “Virgil” and “Principles of Secondary Education” at Harvard Summer School, and later spent two weeks at Jaffrey, New Hampshire. Mrs. Mathews attended the Hyannis Nor- mal School and was given a diploma. Miss Follansbee studied at the University of Maine. Miss Campbell took a teacher’s course in pen- manship at Zanerian School. Miss MacDutfie studied physics at the Har- vard Summer School. Miss Solano took a six-weeks’ course at Columbia on Spanish methods, and later visited Manchester-by-the-Sea. Miss Mague took a course in French and one in psychology at the University of Vermont. Miss Burnham studied French at the Penn- sylvania State College. Miss Newborg took three courses in methods at Boston University. Miss Gatchell took three courses at Boston University, one of which was on “High School Journalism.” She also spent three weeks at her former home in Winthrop, Maine. Miss Kenney studied at the Massachusetts Agricultural College. Miss Arrington, Miss Parmenter, Miss At- water, Miss Welch and Miss Pennock studied at Harvard University. Miss M. H. Brown taught at the Vocational School for Training Teachers in New Bruns- wick. Miss Gray spent the summer at her cottage at Peak Island, Maine. Mr. Obear took a course in science teaching at Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and a course at Harvard on psychology. The rest of his summer was spent at Bustin’s Island, Casco Bay, Maine. Miss Richards took several automobile trips, one through Connecticut and one through Maine. Miss Whitaker was at Lake Winnepesaukee. Miss Bcwker was at Lakeport, New Hamp- shire. Miss Tuell spent a large part of the summer reading history at her home in Milton. Mr. Small was at North Truro with his family. Mr. DeCelles was at Rye Beach. Miss McAllister bought a Buick car and learned to drive it. She also remodeled her home. Mr. Hall took a trip to New York City by automobile, and later visited Lake Sunapee, New Hampshire. Miss Moore drove over the road to Cleveland. Miss Todd spent the summer at Kennebunk- port, Maine. Miss Haley was at Bavside, Nantasket. Mr. Hosmer was at Hedding, New Hamp- shire. He also spent ten days at Ocean Park, Maine, attending the Baptist School of Methods. Miss Ritchie spent the summer months at a girl’s camp at Linekin Bay. Miss Lyle was in a girl’s camp at Lake Ma- quan. South Hanson, Massachusetts. Miss Veazie spent July in the White Moun- tains and August at the shore. Miss Saunders and Miss Cochran attended the fiftieth anniversary of the founding of Sigma Kappa Sorority at Colby College, Water- ville, Maine. Miss Bradford spent a great part of the sum- mer sketching at Monhegan Island, Maine. Miss Woodward was a state delegate at the National Education Association convention at Washington, D. C. Mrs. Card spent part of the summer at her home in Wellesley. Mrs. Hudson took automobile trips through Vermont and Maine. Mrs. Topliff spent the summer at Prince Ed- ward Island. Miss Swallow took trips through Maine and the Adirondacks. Mr. Carrier was “farming it” in New Hamp- shire.