Snow College - Snowonian Yearbook (Ephraim, UT)

Page 28 text:

Ticklers A little girl was shown her newly-arrived baby brother. Looking at him lovingly she said: “When will he talk, mother?” 'Oh not for a long time yet,” said the mother. “Yes, but when?” persisted the child. “Well not for a year or so.” After thinking for a minute the child exclaimed, “How funny. Miss Clark read out of the Bible this morning that Job cursed the hour he was born.” The inventor of a new feeding bottle for infants sent out the following among his directions for using: “When the baby is done drinking it must be unscrewed and laid in a cool place under the hydrant. If the baby does not thrive on fresh milk, it should be boiled.” “Did God make the monkey?” asked little Frank. “Yes,” answered his mother. “Well, don’t you think he laughed when he got him done?” “Please, mum,”—began the aged hero, in appealing tones, as he stood at the door on wash-day, “I’ve lost my leg—■” “Well, I ain’t got it,” snapped the woman, slamming the door. It was a busy day In the butcher-shoP. The butcher yelled to the boy who helped him out In the shop: “Hurry up, John, and don’t forget to cut off Mrs. Murphy’s leg, and break Mrs. Jones’ bones, and don’t forget to slice Mrs. Johnson’s tongue.” “Mary had a Thomas cat; It warbled like Caruso. A neighbor swung a baseball bat— Now Thomas doesn't do so.” “What a marvelous insect a grasshopper is! He can jump one hundred times his length.” “That's nothing—I once saw a bee raise a two-hundred-pound man three feet In the air!” Mistress—“Did the fisherman w'ho stopped here this morning have frog’s legs?” Nora—“Sure, mum, I dlnnaw. He wore pants.” “Nowr, children,” said the teacher, “1 w'ant each of you to think of some animal or bird and try for the moment to be like the particular one you are thinking about, and make the same kind of noises they are in the habit of making. Instantly the schoolroom became a menagerie. Lions roaring, dogs barking, birds singing and twittering, cow-s lowing, calves bleating, cats meowing, etc., all In an uproar and excitement—all with one exception. Off m a remote corner a little fellow w-as sitting perfectly still, apparently Indifferent and unmindful of the rest The teacher observing him, approached and said: “Waldo, why are you not taking part with the other children?” Waving her off with a deprecating hand and rebuking eyes he whispered: “Sh-sh-sh, teacher. I’m a rooster, and I’m a-layin’ a aig.”