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Page 28 text:
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Ticklers A little girl was shown her newly-arrived baby brother. Looking at him lovingly she said: “When will he talk, mother?” 'Oh not for a long time yet,” said the mother. “Yes, but when?” persisted the child. “Well not for a year or so.” After thinking for a minute the child exclaimed, “How funny. Miss Clark read out of the Bible this morning that Job cursed the hour he was born.” The inventor of a new feeding bottle for infants sent out the following among his directions for using: “When the baby is done drinking it must be unscrewed and laid in a cool place under the hydrant. If the baby does not thrive on fresh milk, it should be boiled.” “Did God make the monkey?” asked little Frank. “Yes,” answered his mother. “Well, don’t you think he laughed when he got him done?” “Please, mum,”—began the aged hero, in appealing tones, as he stood at the door on wash-day, “I’ve lost my leg—■” “Well, I ain’t got it,” snapped the woman, slamming the door. It was a busy day In the butcher-shoP. The butcher yelled to the boy who helped him out In the shop: “Hurry up, John, and don’t forget to cut off Mrs. Murphy’s leg, and break Mrs. Jones’ bones, and don’t forget to slice Mrs. Johnson’s tongue.” “Mary had a Thomas cat; It warbled like Caruso. A neighbor swung a baseball bat— Now Thomas doesn't do so.” “What a marvelous insect a grasshopper is! He can jump one hundred times his length.” “That's nothing—I once saw a bee raise a two-hundred-pound man three feet In the air!” Mistress—“Did the fisherman w'ho stopped here this morning have frog’s legs?” Nora—“Sure, mum, I dlnnaw. He wore pants.” “Nowr, children,” said the teacher, “1 w'ant each of you to think of some animal or bird and try for the moment to be like the particular one you are thinking about, and make the same kind of noises they are in the habit of making. Instantly the schoolroom became a menagerie. Lions roaring, dogs barking, birds singing and twittering, cow-s lowing, calves bleating, cats meowing, etc., all In an uproar and excitement—all with one exception. Off m a remote corner a little fellow w-as sitting perfectly still, apparently Indifferent and unmindful of the rest The teacher observing him, approached and said: “Waldo, why are you not taking part with the other children?” Waving her off with a deprecating hand and rebuking eyes he whispered: “Sh-sh-sh, teacher. I’m a rooster, and I’m a-layin’ a aig.”
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Page 27 text:
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Farewell of the Seniors i Another year of our school life is finished and many of us have come for the last time. But whether we go or stay we shall all find abundant cause to remember our school with gratitude and affection. There are those of the Academy who hold especial claims upon our gratitude. Mr. President and Gentlemen of the Board of Trustees: We thank you for your care and for the interest you have taken in the welfare of those who come here each year and, as we bid you adieu, believe that we will ever cherish in our hearts the thought that, to a great extent, it is to you we owe the privileges we have enjoyed. May you ever be able to look with feelings of heartfelt satisfaction upon all your efforts for the advancement of those who are enrolled upon the register of your staunch and noble institution. Members of the Facility: To you has been given the task of impressing directly upon our minds those truths that hall develope the truest manhood of each student. How well you have discharged this responsibility, the present but faintly shows; the future alone can tell how well, how faithfully, you have labored in our behalf. We thank you for the sacrifices you have made for us; for the life-labor you have embodied in your teaching. We cannot repay you; and promises are empty forms. But we trust, we know, that our lives will be greater influences for good because of our sitting at your feet. Members of the Undergraduate Classes: We leave you and we leave the old school in your care. You are to walk these halls and paths when we have wandered away. You will still make these groves and buildings ring with cheers in which our voices have so often joined. The duties which were once ours have largely become yours. The machinery of school life is to be manipulated by you now. May you take it as a solemn trust! And as you do the work that we have failed to do, may it help you to know that you have with you in it the heartiest sympathy of those who now bid you farewell. May prosperity and happiness attend the dear old Snow Academy, its teachers and students, in the future is the earnest desire of the Senior Class of 1913-14.
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