Sir Winston Churchill High School - Yearbook (Calgary, Canada Alberta)

Page 39 text:

Did not! ' 'Did so! Did not! Did so! Now the strange thing about car fever is that it affects everyone in a dyferent way. Unlike the zombie-like appearance of Mom, Dad took on the appearance of a frenzied, panic-stricken maniac. We knew car fever had overtaken him when he snatched the coloring books and puzzles and hastily threw them out the window. As the epidemic swept over the back seat, I was the only one able to ight it off Even our Saint Bernard started to reveal symptoms. As he started barking quietly, I listened closely and was shocked to learn that he was actually meo wing. It wasn 't until then that I realized our Saint Bernard was acutally a Siamese cat. I revealed this information to the rest of the family. Of course their case of car fever was so severe, they failed to see my astute observation, hallucination being one of the many symptoms of car fever. Naturally I started doing my imitation of our Siamese cat. The rest of the family retaliated by doing their imitation of four people locked in a car with a crazed lunatic. Luckily, we arrived at our grandparent's house soon after. Bet you all had a good case of car fever, said Grandpa. Oh, we had a great time, said Dad, Marg and 1 looked at the scenery and the kids entertained us by singing 'Hundred Bottles of Be . . . Be . . . by singing a song. By: L English 30 xitf F59-I -,5?t'gx A I emi., l

Page 38 text:

, CAR FEVER Uncle Peter was telling me about the summer he and his family had driven do wn to Caldornia. Had 'the worst case of car fever you 've ever seen! he said. I happen to know Unc's car is a motorhome, sleeps ten, has a formal dining room, a miniature hot tub and a weight room. Obviously what Unc had suffered from was deluxe motorhome fever which is as comparable to car fever as a tonsilectom y is to double bypass surgery. To catch car fever, it is necessary to be driving across the prairie provinces in a beat-up little Honda with three kids and a Saint Bernard. 'Just a few years ago, on the way to our grandparents' place, I survived one such trip. The journey started out well. Me and my brother and sister started the good ol' Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall , while Mom and Dad smiled pleasantly and looked at the scenery. After haU an hour, Mom and Dad realized there is no scenery when driving across the prairie. Mom was the frst to show signs of car fever. When we hit sbcty- four bottles of beer on the wall , she came close to having a nervous breakdown and screamed at us to stop. Let the kids sing Marg, they 're having fun! Dad exclaimed happily. At bottle twenty-five, Dad began to grind his teeth and his knuckles turned white as he savagely gripped the steering wheel. Needless to say, we were forbidden to mention the word 'beer' for the rest ofthe trip. The puzzles, coloring books and arguments came next. Mommy, Billy took my coloring book Did not! ' 'Did so! Did not! Did so! ' ' Mom didn 't respond. We looked at her. She sat rigidyg frozen to her seat. She had a glazed look in her eyes and stared blankly and wide-eyed at the endless flat stretch of highway ahead. Yes sir, car fever had taken its toll on Mom alright. We turned to Dad to solve the coloring book confiscation. Daddy, Billy took my coloring book

Page 40 text:

li li 0 I i il xl 0: ii H Qi li 'll SCA LING DO WN THE MONETAR Y SYS TEM Today our country faces many problems. We suffer from the burden of unemployment, the scourge of cancer, the villany of provincial exams. However pressing these issues are, they pale in comparison to the greatest dilemma we find ourselves in. We need a new monetary system and we need it now! Not wanting a new system is one thing,' suggesting one is another. Therefore, I have put my money where my mouth is and have come up with a new system. Fish, that is what we should base our currency on. Now you may say that my idea is stupid, but hear me out. A financial system based uponjish is no more ridiculous than one based upon a shiny metal extracted from rock. With the Hsh system you have some protection in emergencies. lf you were trapped in a lift, you can imagine how long you could survive eating nickles and dimes? The fish system is very easily and logically defined. One minnow would represent lf,' one white fish, a dollar. A dolphin would be 51000 while a whale would be 51 000 000. The implementation of the fish standard would provide many advantages to our society. Large amounts of salt would be poured into the Great Lakes. As well as being Canada 's answer to Fort Knox, the salinization would do three things: it would serve as a buffer against acid rain, it would keep the Great Lakes ice- free all year round,' and it would create an oceanside in northern Ontario, attracting tourist dollars. Furthermore, with the various whales being herded into the Great Lakes the Japanese and Soviet whaling fleets could not reach them. A final advantage to the fish standard is perhaps the most obvious one, the government could not bar to pressure and in- crease the money supply beyond ts natural limits lyou can't print more whalesj. It would not be fair to say that this system is without its critics. Concerns about what would be used as a scale with the fish standard and the fact that so many fins might corner the market have been raised. The only really valid criticism of the system however is, with the fish standard system it is necessary to use an aquarium as a wallet. llll Chris Parker eel ADOLESCENCE Confusion in my worldprevails Aspects of my mind locked in separate jails Like a waterfall tumbling down Problems of lde continue to pound In my present state ofconfuslon All lyfe Isee is illusion Day by day my lU'e goes by 1 often stop to wonder why I must cope like others of past Continuing to grow up fast So man y pressures from outside With these I must conform ana' abide Will ide left at nature s pace Long surpass the human race? Rachel Troine Halliday t r O 33 0 I OQQ ,999 4? QQ QQO 0 .0 ,O Q3 H964 C- -:S-gag 2 ', -r' 'Q' sg - , 9. ,J3 1 0 a sg I v .' 9 X ' i .- 4 Y 123' 'pri l N f N' U Q l i J ,U in rr nl 1 at a Q . , 1 M Homeroom: l0G V A