Sir Winston Churchill High School - Yearbook (Calgary, Canada Alberta)

Page 38 text:

, CAR FEVER Uncle Peter was telling me about the summer he and his family had driven do wn to Caldornia. Had 'the worst case of car fever you 've ever seen! he said. I happen to know Unc's car is a motorhome, sleeps ten, has a formal dining room, a miniature hot tub and a weight room. Obviously what Unc had suffered from was deluxe motorhome fever which is as comparable to car fever as a tonsilectom y is to double bypass surgery. To catch car fever, it is necessary to be driving across the prairie provinces in a beat-up little Honda with three kids and a Saint Bernard. 'Just a few years ago, on the way to our grandparents' place, I survived one such trip. The journey started out well. Me and my brother and sister started the good ol' Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall , while Mom and Dad smiled pleasantly and looked at the scenery. After haU an hour, Mom and Dad realized there is no scenery when driving across the prairie. Mom was the frst to show signs of car fever. When we hit sbcty- four bottles of beer on the wall , she came close to having a nervous breakdown and screamed at us to stop. Let the kids sing Marg, they 're having fun! Dad exclaimed happily. At bottle twenty-five, Dad began to grind his teeth and his knuckles turned white as he savagely gripped the steering wheel. Needless to say, we were forbidden to mention the word 'beer' for the rest ofthe trip. The puzzles, coloring books and arguments came next. Mommy, Billy took my coloring book Did not! ' 'Did so! Did not! Did so! ' ' Mom didn 't respond. We looked at her. She sat rigidyg frozen to her seat. She had a glazed look in her eyes and stared blankly and wide-eyed at the endless flat stretch of highway ahead. Yes sir, car fever had taken its toll on Mom alright. We turned to Dad to solve the coloring book confiscation. Daddy, Billy took my coloring book

Page 37 text:

, Gy,

Page 39 text:

Did not! ' 'Did so! Did not! Did so! Now the strange thing about car fever is that it affects everyone in a dyferent way. Unlike the zombie-like appearance of Mom, Dad took on the appearance of a frenzied, panic-stricken maniac. We knew car fever had overtaken him when he snatched the coloring books and puzzles and hastily threw them out the window. As the epidemic swept over the back seat, I was the only one able to ight it off Even our Saint Bernard started to reveal symptoms. As he started barking quietly, I listened closely and was shocked to learn that he was actually meo wing. It wasn 't until then that I realized our Saint Bernard was acutally a Siamese cat. I revealed this information to the rest of the family. Of course their case of car fever was so severe, they failed to see my astute observation, hallucination being one of the many symptoms of car fever. Naturally I started doing my imitation of our Siamese cat. The rest of the family retaliated by doing their imitation of four people locked in a car with a crazed lunatic. Luckily, we arrived at our grandparent's house soon after. Bet you all had a good case of car fever, said Grandpa. Oh, we had a great time, said Dad, Marg and 1 looked at the scenery and the kids entertained us by singing 'Hundred Bottles of Be . . . Be . . . by singing a song. By: L English 30 xitf F59-I -,5?t'gx A I emi., l