Simpson College - Zenith Yearbook (Indianola, IA)

Text from Pages 1 - 216 of the 1907 volume:

Vl I t V GKO. Made and arranged by A. Miller Printing Co. Dcs Moines, Iowa I Trri i it (. it titi nuiiimuiinmiu i 7 (La the Jftannarg af Jitsrplt Brttsmt Harris Jftrieuir af Cituntliatt, Brafltar af all jifctt, Vrimttt af Chu (Llta Class af Nineteen aufr fclnnt Befrirafa this Baak. In Tribute. By Rev. W. H. Shipman. TUDENTS who attended Simpson from the fall of 1 895 to that of 1 899, during the pastorate and presidency of Joseph Benson Harris, will never forget his slender form, and his attenuated features, because they can never forget the kindness that always beamed from his blue eyes and illuminated his countenance; nor can they forget the good will that gave a warm vigor to his hearty handshake. Kindness and intelligence were in him the most conspicuous qualities of a beautiful character which strongly influenced, during the years of his active work, a very broad range of conditions and persons. Born July 1 4, 1 859, in Belmont County, Ohio, he died April 29, 1 905, in Boone, Iowa, just when the full maturity of his powers gave promise of the most skillful and fruitful work. The fact that when not over twenty-one years old he had attained the position of assistant train despatcher at Creston, showed that he had an alert and accurate mind. His resignation of a good salary and certain promotion for the probable penury of the ministry, showed that he was dominated by high ideals and a conscience as strong as it was sensitive. Brought by the force of circumstances rather abruptly into the pastorate after only three years of special study at Simpson, nevertheless by the gentle force of a refined tact, a well bal- anced judgment, and clear thinking, he reached the most commanding position in the pastorate in the Des Moines Conference. His preaching was of the didactic type rather than the oratorical. Ebul- litions of rhetoric, or declamatory flights of eloquence had little place in his pulpit efforts. Calm and thoughtful expositions of scripture; solemn, pathetic, pointed and vivacious discussions of principles; flowing through all, the under- current of a mind singularly pure and deeply tinged with the most genuine sympathy for the people,—these constituted a type of preaching always heard with pleased attention, and with a profit that still lingers warmly in many memories. His pastoral work among his people reinforced his pulpit efforts with a power that more than doubled his influence for good. His ability to meet any type of character without wearing the artificial mask of a simulated smile or mechanically effusive handshake, but on the basis of a genuine good will that shone from his eyes and radiated like cheering warmth from his entire personal- ity, won for him the confidence and affection of those he met to a remarkable degree. Back of this genially pleasing friendliness was a spotless character, blossoming into actions guided by a judgment and tact as nearly flawless, in regard to practical affairs, as men can hope to possess. These characteristics created a tie of affection between him and his congregations that was the most marked result of his pastoral work. His conversations were brightened with a humor that never wounded, but whose fine edge he turned upon himself, at times, with even a keener relish than he did upon his friends. No person who heard it will ever forget the most amusing description he gave, one night at the Creston Conference of 1 898, of the lugubrious impression which his diminutive and almost cadaverous form first made upon his early parishoners at Lewis. That exquisite bit of drollery he began with a merry twinkle in his eyes, and a quizzical smile upon his face, and the most delicate accent upon the italicised words in the opening remark. “Years ago w'hen I used to be ihin and lean. His religious character ripened into a most triumphant experience in the closing days of his life. 1 hree weeks before he died the present writer traveled to his bedside to see him once more and bid farewell to the comrade of twenty 5 ears. His greeting was with the same rare smile of old that beautifully illum- inated his now greatly emaciated countenance, and showed not a hint of the swiftly approaching doom. The handclasp was warm and firm, perhaps lingering a little longer than in other days. Soon his mind turned to his approaching departure which, he said, seemed to him like any other journey for which he might prepare. To the question “Now, Brother Harris, you are confronting the reality where you look at things in the light of actual truth, how does the old book seem to you?” He replied: “It does not fail me. Of course there are the various ‘ites,’ but it is my reliance in all the essentials. To think that God is, that he loves you, that Christ is your Saviour, is inexpressibly precious. That is as firm as a rock. Death gives me no concern. I hardly think of it except as just a crossing over. 1 confess to a feeling of impatience. If some one would tell me it would be next week I could be satisfied. I love life and want to li e, and think of my family, though they will be provided for, but I am impatient to go for it is sure to come. I am in a transition place something like purgatory. I am not per- mitted to take part in earth’s affairs, and am not allowed to join in the heavenly joys.” “And how does the work of the ministry seem to you now?” “It never seemed so good. I would rather preach than do anything. Sometimes in moments of discouragement I have felt that my work was not appreciated, but now it comes to me. I get messages from every direction. The people show their affection. I would rather have that than what Carnegie has. The affection of the people is the greatest reward.” After prayer, during which he responded with earnest Amens, we clasped hands for the last Good Bye. With countenance all radiant, with that rare old smile, pointing with his left hand while his right held mine, he said, ‘‘Heaven seems a great reality, just a crossing over.” Asked if he had a message for his brethren he said: ‘‘You may tell them that Christ never seemed so real, nor brotherly love so precious as now.” Three weeks later his spirit, gentle, pure, and strong, took its flight to the realms of endless day. On the occasion of his funeral in the large church at Boone, where he was completing his fifth year as pastor, the great building was filled. Over thirty members of the conference were on the platform, the business houses were closed, and the schools dismissed. The United States Secretary of the Treasury, Leslie M. Shaw, and his wife, who had been under the pastorate of Brother Harris for five years at Denison, and had known him for fifteen years, came from Washington to attend the funeral. The words of Secretary Shaw fitly described the influence of the dead Pastor’s character and work when he said in concluding,— ‘‘I have known more profound scholars, I have heard greater preachers as the world counts greatness of preaching; but in the pulpit, as well as out of it, and out of it as well as in it, for 365 days of the year, and for five years at a stretch, Rev. J. B. Harris was the best preacher it was my privilege to hear consecutively or to observe intimately.” Goldthwaite in the Boone Daily News. HE triumphs of Joseph Benson Harris—and he had many—were as dross to him compared with the helping of some benighted spirit to the light. None were so low that they did not receive his earnest solicitude, none so ill-clad or sodden as to forfeit his winning smile and hearty handshake. This attribute was truly divine, for it renounced self utterly in the overmastering desire to do good. He always fought sin, but never the sinner. Large hearted and solicitous, his constant motto seemed to be, “Neither do I condemn thee: go and sin no more.’’ Good fellowship he possessed to a remarkable degree. His religion was deep and abiding, but brought with it no austerity. He could laugh and joke—and he was the prince of toast-masters—without detracting from the dignity of the cloth. His fund of humor was inexhaustible, but it was always of the wholesome kind. There was no prudishness in his character, but even in his promotion of social merriment there lurked the call to righteousness. It was his example which spoke louder than his words. If to fight a good fight and keep the faith profit nothing, then the whole plan of the universe is haphazard, and there is no consolation, but if this life goes on in example, influencing many other lives to like attainments, the moral career of Joseph Benson Harris has been glorious, and death is swallowed up in victory. ( rerttng: £ a bofce out of a bream of the $ast« tender, halfsbab ft is our draper that this Booh map some bap be. a Habor of Hobe to us, map ft be a iiteppenger of Irnbe to pou «cf lobe anb fopaltp. flobe for the aim a ffclater anb fopaltp to her rfncfplep fb the oitlp Wesson toe bring. 3t fs torftten fn ebcrp page that folfoto.s. Chrough the long pears to come, toap ft be grabctt on pour hearts! Frank L. Mott, Editor-in-Chief. Vera H. Ingram, Literary Department. Ray C. Baird, Associate Editor. Earl M. Hale, Business Manager. Eunora Maxon, Art Editor. B. Frank Buffington, Humor Editor. Charles a. harsh dtellatrueblogd PRESIDENT -� CHA5. eldreo Shelton JOHN L. TILTON DUDLEY D. ClRirr'ITH DE W.E HAMILTON MARY O.HUNTING FLOYD E. BARTELL ELIZABETH C.BENTLEY sm ■ W£2;B. READ i. IDA B.STEYER ■ E.L.MILLER The Semi-Centennial Jubilee. 0F SIMPSON COLLEGE WILL OCCUR IN 1910. To Get Ready For It:— Each one of one hundred people ought to give one thou- sand dollars or more. Each one of one thousand people ought to give one hundred dollars or more. Everyone ought to give all he can. Every Alumnus, every Methodist, every Friend oughi lo plan fort work for, give for, this great end. REV. FLETCHER HOMAN Field Si cretary. “When Memory Crept.” “In the days when the memory of man was too young to creep—let alone to run to the contrary”—thus pharaphrased a bright Junior the phrase which Sir William Blackstone and Dr. Shelton have made immortal. It is a very pleasant occupation to look through the records of those same days and note the progress our college has made. The “Simpsonian” was founded in 1870 as a semi-monthly—the only college paper in western Iowa. Its accounts of the doings of the days when the memory of man could only creep are more than interesting to the Simpson people of this generation. Irom the “Tangent” of 1889 ihe father of the “Zenith” published by the Fraternities. The following are clippings taken from the first two volumes of the oirrp : One hundred students are in attendance at the college this term and others are expected soon. Our prospects are more glowing than ever before. «4 «4 4 E The coach from Des Moines arrives at noon instead of at six in the evening. By this arrangement students are allowed to get their mail matter during recreation hours in the afternoon, thus removing all excuse for lurking around the streets during evening study hours. The dedication of the College takes place tomorrow. «4 4 Weather, moist—croquet grounds, vacated—lessons good. 4 «4 «4 E •' Our young friend, J. H. Henderson has been elected to fill the edi- torial chair of the Warren County Leader. John is well fitted for this office. «4 1 «4 There will soon be a new sidewalk from the city to the college. 4 4 4 0:7 Cupid, it seems, has been hurling his darts toward the Simpsonianites. Katie Shawver left last week as the bride of J. M. Anderson, of Winterset. We offer our congratulations and hope for a piece of the wedding cake. «4 «4 «4 The roll is now' called each morning at chapel immediately after the ringing of the second bell. Students not in the seats assigned them are re- ported absent by the monitor. This, we think, is quite an improvement on the old plan. ?4 «4 «4 The college trustees have decided to put stoves in all the other rooms and throw all the heat from the furnaces into the Mathematical room. 4 4 « 'Lost.—A badge of the L. F. V. society. Return to this office. «4 44 «4 ‘The Methodists here have started a new charge for the college. Dr. Burns will officiate as pastor until the next annual conference. «4 44 4 We understand the ladies of our college are going to have a prayer meeting every Sunday. 4 «4 «4 The appearance of the college chapel has been improved very much by the addition of new chandeliers. 4 44 4 We hear there will be some evergreens planted on the college campus soon. This will help the appearance of the place very much. «4 4 «4 A well written essay was read a few mornings ago, on the nomina- tion of the next president, in w'hich it w'as stated that Grant and Sumner had a poor chance of election even if nominated, but that Mr. Wilson, of this State, would be the next successful man to run for president. 44 4t 4t ’With the warm spring days croquet comes into favor. This seems to be the favorite pastime of students and faculty alike. 4t '44 a44 All that remains of “Old Blue Bird,” where so many of us spent our prep years, is a mass of mortar and broken brick. E The grass on the campus is about three feet high. A A A c The Senior orations delivered during the last week averaged eight minutes. ‘A A «A 11 Next Tuesday is the day upon which Col. Carpenter will be elected governor of Iowa. A A «'A c Cannot the students of Simpson Centenary have a sociable before long? A A A c Our poet “Breatonius” (Brenton H. Badley) witnessed the great Chicago fire. A A A c Hon. Wm. B. Allison has given $1,000 to the endowment fund of Simpson Centenary. A A A • The Alpha and Literary Union societies have partially furnished their new hall, and are now holding their meetings in it. A A A The Everett and Zetalethean Societies now hold their meetings in their new hall. A A A • Three cheers were given in chapel the other morning. It was the first time we ever heard of such a thing, and we hope it may be the last. A A A The Seniors made their appearance at chapel last Monday en masse wearing their new class neckties. A A A c’The class of '72 visited Ackworth In-btute a few days since, and were favorably impressed with all they saw and heard. A A A a Plug hats have become the “crowning g’ory of the masculine portion of class ’72. A A A ll Mr. W. H. Berry, class '72, has recovered from the mumps and was able to be with the class examination day. SENIOR. “Senior Cydone.” T IS a generally accepted and self-evident fact that the opinions of both individuals and masses of mankind are subject to change in different times and under varying conditions. At present the members of the class of Naught-Six are forcibly reminded of the truth of the above. A year ago we were Juniors, and we spake as Juniors, we understood as Juniors, we thought as Juniors; but when we became Seniors we put away Juniors, we thought as Juniors; but when we became Seniors we put away childish things and our opinions changed to suit another view-point. A year ago we tried to convince ourselves that to be Juniors left nothing to be desired. It is proper to say that “we tried to convince ourselves’’ Decause deep down in the recesses of our gray matter we knew that a Senior is a being as infinitely great compared to anything else which Mother Earth has yet produced, as a star of the first magnitude is to a lightning-bug in a hay loft. Last year we would have strenuously denied this—now we admit that it is so. So much has one short twelve month in Simpson College accomplished in the broadening of our minds. As Juniors we were perhaps somewhat boastful of our prowess in the various things in which we were interested, and we called all manner of man to witness that we were what we were and that there were none others like unto us. It was not wrong perhaps to be proud of ourselves because we were the greatest Junior class ever known to history, but after all this was a small distinc- tion and looking backward from the heights of our present position we smile to our virtues or sing our own praises on any occasion. In the present free and enlightened age everyone whose education has received any attention whatever knows that a Senior is the one truly important thing known to Modern Civilization. In this connection too, we wish you to note, that we were not born thus . great, nor have we had greatness thrust upon us. By diligent and persistent effort we have raised ourselves to our present exalted station, and while we do not thrust ourselves forward before the footlights of publicity, we do not really object to people admiring us,—in fact we rather like it. It is true that for a time one thing embarrassed us considerably. This was the knowledge that as we passed along the streets, busy mothers stopped in their household tasks to point us out to baby sons and daughters, and to tell the children that if they were good and did not play in the coal bucket or chop down any cherry trees they might sometime be like us. Most people would have been flattered by such a knowledge and would have waxed exceedingly proud of themselves, but we did not. To tell you of all the things in which we are superior not only to ordinary mortals but to any Senior Class which has heretofore graced this institution is impossible both for lack of space and for lack of inclination. We believe con- ditionally in the proverb, “Toot your own horn lest it be not tooted,” but we do not now propose to put the belief into practice, having observed that those who do so are frequently accused by envious persons of having too exalted an opinion of themselves. Returning to our text, from which, after the usual ministerial fashion, we have wandered far afield, we observe one change in our opinions which is more serious in its nature. Last year we noticed in the countenances of the members of the then Senior Class a pensiveness slightly tinged with melancholy, at which we wondered much. We thought that if we were as near to graduation as they were our joy would be full and we could conceive of no reason for sorrow. Now, however, as the time approaches when we shall bid farewell to the insti- tution with which we have been identified so long, we understand, and our- selves feel this touch of sadness. Our thoughts wander back over the varied scenes of our college career and as we live over again in memory some pleasant happening or seem to see again some friendly face there comes to us a vague regret that our college life lies now behind us, and ahead “The days darken round us, and the years, Among new men, strange faces, other minds.” It may be that at times we have felt that a college course is full of hard- ship, but after all it has been a happy time, and the memories of Simpson, like the friendships we have formed there, will remain with us through life. And now in conclusion, hoping that in your memories of us you will only hold to that which is good, we give you—fellow students, teachers and friends—not this time au rcvoir, but farewell. —C. B. S., ’06. Class Officers. V. D. Dusenbery, President. Besse Matson, Vice-President. Bess Harris, Secretary. William Reynolds, Treasurer. C. Boyd Stevenson, Historian. Florence Armstrong, Alpha Alpha Gamma, Zetalelhean. Inter-Society Debate (3), Zete Presi- dent (4). John Arnold, Everett. Everett Critic (2), Geneva (2), Assist- ent in Chemistry (3) (4), Third in Oratorical Contest (3), President of Scientific Association (4), Everett Vice-President. Dorcas Aten, Alpian. Fre hn-an Scholarshio (1), Aloian Critic (2), Alpian Vice-President (2), Geneva (2). Pearl Barker, Zetalelhean. Third in Oratorical Contest (4), Zete Vice-President (4). Fern Bowlin, Alpian. Alpian Vice-President (4). Mabel Brown, Pi Beta Phi, Zetalelhean. Class Secretary ( 1 ). Ray P. Burke, Everett. Everett Treasurer (3), Critic (4), Presi dent (4). E. Ward Carpenter, Alpha Tau Omega, Kallonian. Kallonian Consul (1), Inter-Society De- bate (2), Kallonian Secretary (3). Ernest Coe, Everett. Everett Critic (2), Varsity Football (2) (3), Everett Treasurer (4), Inter- Society Debate (4). J. Harry Crann, Everett. Everett Consul (1), Critic (2), Treas- urer (2), Assistant in German (3) (4), Assistant in Business (4). Lahuna Clinton, Zelalethean. Geneva ( 1 ) , Zete Secretary ( 1 ) , Consul (2), Treasurer (2), Vice-President of Class (3), Simpsonian Staff (3) (4), Varsity Debate (4), Y. W. C. A. President (4). Verne D. Dusenbery, Alpha Tau Omega, Kallonian. Kallonian Critic (1), Consul (2). Treas- urer (2), Varsitv Debate (2) (3), President Athletic Association (3). Simpsonian Staff (3), Treasurer of Athletic Advisory Board (4). Varsitv Basketball (4), Kallonian President (4). Nelle Ellison, Alpian. Alnian Vice-President (4), Assistant in Physical culture (4). Guy T. FanSHER, Alpha Tau Omega, Kallonian. Kallonian Secretary (1), Vice-President (4), Geneva (2),Class President (4). Jessie Fickle, Zelalethean. President (3), Consul (4), President Grace Griffith, Alpian. Badley Schee Prize (3), Alpian Vice- (4). Chester L. Gose, Alpha Tau Omega, Everett. Alpian Consul (1), Critic (2), President (2) , Class Play (3), Everett Vice- President (3), Class President (3), Geneva (3), Second in Home Orator- ical (3), Business Manager Simpsonian (3) , Everett President (4), Editor-in Chief Simpsonian (4), Secretary Ath- letic Advisory Board (4), Phi Omegi (4) . Bess Harris, Della Delta Delta, Zelale- thean. Zete Consul (1), Simpsonian Staff (2) (3) (4). Secretary of Athletic Asso- ciation (2) (4). Zete Treasurer (3), Secretary of Oratorical Association (3), Class Play (3), Associate Editor ’05 Zenith (3). Pearl Hathaway, Pi Beta Phi, Zetale- thean. Varsity Basketball (3) (4), Zete Secre- tary (3), Class Dlay (3), Tennis (4). Carolyn Higgs, Ahian. Alpian Vice-President (3), Inter-Society Debate (3) (4). Mary Kilburn, Pi Beta Phi, Zelalethean. Zete Secretary (2), Class Secretary (3), Waterloo (3). Ada Lisle, Della Delta Della, Zetalelhean. Zete Consul (2), Geneva (2), President Y. W. C. A. (3), Zete Vice-President (4), Simpsonian Staff (4), Class Vice- President (4). George Magel. Geneva (3), Cadet Lieutenant (4). Bess Matson, Alpian. Gibson Essay Prize (2), Geneva (2), Alpian Secretary (2), Inter-Society Debate (3) (4), Alpian President (4), Class Secretary (4). George Moffett, Freshman Debating Team (1), Track Manager (4). Cora Quayle, Pi Beta Phi, Alpian. Alpian Vice-President ( I ), Simpsonian Staff (4). Elisie Reynolds, Alpian. Geneva (2), Alpian Treasurer (3), President (3), Inter-Society Debate (3) (4). William Reynolds, Kallonian. Freshman Debate (1), Varsity Football (2) (3) (4), Captain (4), Inter- Society Debate (3), President Ath- letic Association (4), Kallonian Vice- President (4), President (4), Class Treasurer (4). Ina Robbins, Della Della Della, Zetale- thean. Vice-President Class (1), Zete Secretar (1) (4), Critic (2), Consul (2), Associate Editor ’05 Zenith (3). Alvina Robinson, Alpian. Assistant in Latin (4). R. Arthur Shaw, Kallonian. Varsity Basketball (2) (3) (4), Cap- tain (4), Tennis (4). Raymond M. Shipman, Everett. Y. M. C. A. Secretary (1), Treasurer (2) , Everett Treasurer (1) (3), Class Play (3), Geneva (3), Inter- Society Debate (3), Class Treasurer (3) , Assistant in German (3) (4), Everett Vice-President (4). Thomas J. Shirley, Kallonian. Kalloman Treasurer (2), Secretary (2) (4). Edward H. Shuey, Everett. Everett Secretary ( 1 ), Vice-President (3), Consul (2), Cadet Lieutenant (2), Captain (2), Major (3) (4). Lois Smith, Alpha Alpha Gamma, Zetale- thean. Blanche Spurgeon, Pi Bela Phi, Ze- ialethean. Geneva (1), Y. W. C. A. Treasurer (1), President (2), Simpsonian Staff (3) , Zete President (4), Phi Omega (4) . C. Boyd Stevenson, Everett. Class Historian (4) (3). Jasper Weber, Everett. Geneva (2), Everett Consul (2). Roy Worth, Kappa Theta Psi, Everett. Everett Treasurer (2), Class Play (3), Business Manager ’03 Zenith (3), Simpsonian Staff (4), Football Man- ager (4). Nelle Harris, Musical Club. Secretary of Conservatory Faculty. “Junior Gale.” HEN ’07 arrived in Indianola it was raining pitchforks. Other classes have been ushered in by hail, mist, fog, and thunder- storms, but when the class of Naught Seven arrived its advent was heralded by peal of thunder and flash of lightning, by storm of hail and rush of wind, by cloudburst after cloudburst, as though the very angels in heaven were engaged in a last desperate effort to dampen the college ardor of the young Freshmen and quench their thirst for knowledge. The conservative Indianola citizen called up his neighbor on the telephone and between thunder claps aked him what had happened to cause such a celebra- tion on the part of the elements. Said he, as Casca said before the death of Caesar. “Are you not moved when all the sway of earth Shakes like a thing infirm? O neighbor! I have seen tempests when the scolding winds Have riv’d the knotty oaks, but never Till the knotty Sevens came to town, never till now. Did I go through a tempest like to this.” Thus was the present Junior class welcomed to Indianola. The first class meeting was held in the Greek room. Ira Ruby presided and Ella Brown was secretary. Class colors were discussed, and Ed. Golisch made a suggestion that we have Ruby and Brown, which was the first ’07 pun and duly applauded. These things, though small, are vastly important as shedding some light on the ancient history of ’07, and pointing out the way for other Freshman classes. Election of class officers occurred at the home of Ella Brown. Ruby again presided, and Walter G. McKinley was elected first class president, Leone Peasley, secretary, Ella Brown, vice-president and J. Carl Pryor, treasurer. Dark green and white were then and there made class colors and have stood the test of time and decorations excellently well. They are nature s favorite hues—colors of the grass and the snow,—symbols of youth and purity. The next meeting was less important, as the minutes record simply the following: English Room, Oct. 29, 1 903. Class called to order by the president. Motion that an order be drawn on the treasury for 30 cents to purchase a secretary s book. Carried. Motion to adjourn.” Our first bum was out at Berry’s woods. There we played games, roasted weiners and got acquainted. Early in November the class began to make arrangements for the annual debate with the Freshmen of Iowa Wesleyan University, which was held May 12, 1904. Frank L. Mott, J. Ldson Preston and Shirley W. Allen repre- sented Simpson ’07, and their efforts were crowned with victory, receiving a unanimous decision. Naught Seven was enthused that night. Then that winter, too, ’07 won the girls championship in basketball, and for a full year the green and white shone out from the northwest corner of the library reading room. Late in the spring, when the inter-class track meet was held, ’07 again was victorious and captured another trophy cup. In the winter term sometime, there was a boD-ride, when the whole class, in order to form a more perfect union, piled into one bob; and on towards commencement there was a banquet, whose incidents Wayne Stahl has thus immortalized in verse: “The Soph is come. That cruel Kleptoman, the Sophomore, Who stole our sled the night of Saturn’s day. Oh, he is here, that scatter-pepper Soph, Who strews the carpet on this festive eve. Sneeze on him, brothers, take him to his doom. What curses for electrical divorce. Producing darkness at the banquet time. Can Nemesis afford this Sophomore?” The poet proceeds to recount that the Sophomore was so frightened at Prexy’s threats of investigation, “That on his head the capillary growth Portion vertical assumed, his tongue did freeze. And each of his two knees attraction for The other found. About commencement time we all went home. We had learned to give old Brek-ke-ke-kex like a house afire, and had most of us managed by hook or crook to get past Freshman Algebra, that Cerberus which guards—ah, too vigilantly—the gates to Sophmoric bliss. At any rate, our verdant days were gone. In the fall most of us came back, elected Frank Mott president, Beth Dunhegan secretary, Rowena Smith vice-president, and Harold Flint, treas- urer, and then began to plan for the spring term reception. That was to be the most glorious reception ever held in the old chapel, because it was ’07’s first. The class’s chief occupation for the year ’04-5 was getting ready for that recept on. First there was to be a play to take most of the evening, and The Professor’s Love Story” was bought. Then the reception evoluted through various stages, eras and epochs, the “Pike” stage, the “Houseboat-on- the-Styx” stage, etc. Finally, on the night of April 5, 1905, the“Big Doin’s” were pulled off. We served frappe that people simply wouldn't drink (fearing intoxication perhaps) but which a few of us drank without serious effect the next night. One night in the Fall 1 erm the class indulged in a hay-rack ride.—’08 indulged in a little evening stroll. Quite by chance we all met on the race track at the Fair Grounds and indulged in a little exercise mixed with mud. Then we drove back to town, ourselves perched on top of the hay rack and victory that perch to which she had become so accustomed. Lots of bums that year. The girls entertained the boys at a masquerade. Mystevicus strangers took an ignominious hike when we unmasked, and left theii supper half eaten. Other burrs there were, and a jamboree at Rowena Smith’s. Then a summer passed, and we were Juniors. Vera Ingram was made class president, Carl Pryor, secretary, Nell Rea, vice-president, and Paul White, treasurer. Class meetings were marked by joviality and double weddings. On December 5, the class presented their long expected play to an admir- ing audience in Spray’s Opera House The marvelous history and exciting adventures of this play are recorded otherwhere in this book. After we gave our winter term reception we had a time. Herewith we present some pictures, that they who have never had the fortune to be present at ’07’s jubilations may look and envy. We started on our career with many who have since dropped by the way. We all know seven for a magic number. There are seven days in the week, seven wonders of the world, seven sisters. We are to forgive our enemies seventy times seven times, man’s allotted age is seventy, and so on ad infinitum. With us it is certainly a magic number, for it will recall, without fail, recollec- tion of “jamborees” and “times,” of scraps and love feasts, of friends—and enemies,—of undying loyalty to class and school. Junior Play History T IS A world acknowledged fact that everything, be it great or small must have a beginning. The Junior Play had a beginning To be exact the plan to give a class play which should redound in honor for Class ’07 and for our Alma Mater was conceived in the minds of the class at a meeting held November 15, 1904. It was the original intention of those endowed with the inspiration that the theatrical genius of ’07 be employed in entertaining the students of Simpson at the Spring Term reception. After due ceremony and deliberation the play was selected. It was clever, had a good plot, required no very elaborate staging, and contained noth- ing which would be detrimental to the morals of Simpson’s sons and daughters. In the course of human events the caste was chosen; and in a favorable siesta from college work, which the weather man kindly brought about, by ordering deep snows, the first rehearsal was held—a rehearsal of three, but that three fairly inspired by the visions of glory which haunted them. So far fate was kind, but alas, after the first hot glow of enthusiasm had faded, numerous misgivings arose. The chapel platform, while ample to hold the faculty of which Simpson boasts, was too small to stage, “The Professor’s Love Story.” It afforded no dressing rooms, no means of communication from one side of the stage to the other; indeed seemed not destined to be trodden by the ambitious feet of the amateur actor. Such a play would require a whole evening for its presentation, and it was an important question in the minds of many if the guileless Freshman or the expectant Prep could survive a term reception without the customary exhibition of grace and agility in the grand marches, and the excruciating pleasure of exchanging autographs with their friends. So, considering as ever the desires of their fellow students, the Sophs decided it would not be desirable to give such a long play at a term reception. Then the discussion turned to county fairs, and Houseboats on the Styx—but that s another story. 1 he histrionic artists of the class were not so easily to be diverted from their original intentions. They clung to their plans of winning renown behind the footlights as the Freshman to his pony or the German student to his dictionary. Then some member of ’07 captured another inspiration, and presented it in all the beauty of its originality to the admiring gaze of his classmates. An Hll Inrrim Whin StiiJry Martin Baird MiClurr Ro JUNIOR PLAY CAST Baker Buffington Moil Starkoek inspiration it surely was—to present the play in the Spring Term as a benefit for the Zenith. How had this thought lurked concealed so long? All difficulties were thus removed. The city opera house was available and thoroughly equipped, and the theater-hungry students could be depended upon to patronize such an entertainment. Rehearsals were held regularly, some- times in the president’s recitation room, sometimes in the Chapel. Often the “Cradle of Oratory” was the scene of a great display of theatrical ability, and occasionally the snakes in the lab were roused to fury by the bombastic over- flow or lulled to repose by the love scenes of the play. The attendance at these meetings varied from two to twelve, the opening and closing services of each session being outbursts of indignation against all who were so unfortunate as to be late. So work proceeded quite smoothly, with just enough perplexities and difficulties to render it lively and interesting. Then suddenly, a cantagion of preventing circumstances arose—circumstances which rendered the presentation of the play in the Spring Term impossible. So the class yielded gracefully to demanding fate, consoling as best it could its wounded feelings by the thought that students in the Fall have more legal tender than in the Spring, and are usually more anxious for light amusements. During the whole summer of ’05 the play lay idle. No eager eyes scanned its burning sentences, no ardent voice echoed its thrilling words. Through its inspiration two noble attempts had been made and failed. Would success now come, or had courage reached its limit? But in the fall Junior dignity brought also new zeal for class play, as for all phases of college life. The old parchment, now yellow and torn, was brought forth, the old cues recommitted, the old trickery of word and action repracticed, and the reward seemed near. The scenery was carefully planned and procured, the costumes devised, the last rehearsal especially arranged, and the tickets sold. Junior talent in theatrical lines was to make its debut on the seventh of November, 1905. With ardent hopes the cast joined the Simpson hordes in rooting at the Drake game. Their day of greatness (?) was at hand, and triumph was sure. But again some mysterious fate intervened. One of the cast returned from the gridiron contest unable to take his part in the play for several weeks. There was no understudy, and the omission of the part was impossible. So another postponement was inevitable. But even yet Professor Goodwillie’s amorous tendencies were to be disclosed to the world. Through a persever- ance which could not be conquered, the play was finally presented on December 5, 1905. X The triumph, the mistakes, the exultation, and the anxiety of that evening words are inadequate to describe. Enough to say that the plans conceived over a year before had been carried out. Class ’07 had presented a class play. For other classes theatrical ambitions have been easily satisfied. For Class ’07 only difficulties were strewn in the path which led to honors (?) on the stage—difficulties which often diverted but never thwarted. Such is the history of the Junior Play—just a story of perplexities resolved and of obstacles overcome. And though perhaps not for the financial success of the venture or even for the glory won by the artists, at least for the very fact that a play was given at all, the Juniors may say, “We have conquered.” Cast of Characters. Prof. Goodwillie......................................John Dunn Martin Dr. Cosens................................................Frank Mott Sir George Gilding....................................Forrester Stanley Dr. Yellowleaves......................................Frank Buffington Pete.........................................................Paul White Henders...................................................Worth McClure Lucy White...................................................Ruth Baker Effie.....................................................Bess Baird Lady Geo. Gilding....................................................May Starbuck Agnes Goodwillie............................................Vera Ingram Dowager Lady Gilding...........................................Nell Rea Business Manager, J. Carl Pryor. Stage Manager, Seth F. Shenton. Direction Prof. John Dunn Martin. 77 r 7 II Ellen CoNREY, Greenfield, Iowa. Alpha Alpha Gamma, Zetalethean, Ze- talethean Counsul (3). “Her tongue was the law of kindness.” Quiet, hard-working and demure. For evidence of home-keeping ability, see Y. W. cloak room. Addie Cornwall, Indianola, Iowa. Zetalethean, Freshman Scholarship (1), Inter-Society Debate (3). “So wise, so young, they say, do ne'er live long” Chief characteristic, brains. Youngest in the class. Frankie Craven, Indianola, Iowa. Zetalethean, Assistant in German (2), Zetalethean Critic (3). “For if she will, she will, And you may depend on I And if she won't, she won't. And there is an end on I. Fraulein Steyer’s chief aid. An unana- lyzed compound of kinetic and potential energy. Edward C. Fintel, “Finkel, Corydon, Iowa. Kallonian, Alpian Consul (1), Y. M. C. A. Corresponding Secretary (1 ), Geneva (2), First in Home Oratorical (2), Fifth in State Oratorical (2), Kal- loman Consul (3), President Orator- ical Association (3), Vice-President Y. M. C. A. (3). “Spreading himself like a green bay tree. —Psalms. Operatic Aspirant. Star in languages. Inclined to moral teachings. Harold W. Flint, “Had,” Council Bluffs, Iowa. Alpha Tau Omega, Kallonian, Kallonian Treasurer (2), Class Treasurer (2), College Employment Bureau (3). “Scntimentallyt I am disposed to harmony. Organically, I am incapable oj a tune” Walking Delegate for Weems Laundry Company. Self appointed mail carrier. J. Frank Garnes, “Brother,” Indianola, Iowa. Everett, Alpian Treasurer (1), Vice- President (2), Everett Critic (3), President Y. M. C. A. (3). “Of his early life, en particulars are defin- itely £non n.” A suburban resident. Scrupulously proper. A quiet, unassuming fellow, who takes life dreadfully in earnest. Edward H. Golisch, “Knocker,” Afton, Iowa. Everett, Inter-Society Debate (3), Alter- nate Varsity Debate (3). “There may be grealer men than , but I don I believe it.” Chief of Knockers’ Union. Has cut out the girls on general principles. Earl M. Hale, “Pearl” Glenwood, la. Kappa Theta Psi, Everett, Everett Sec- retary (1), Consul (3), Business Manager ’07 Zenith (3). “A dainty little rvatch charm he. For some fair maiden xvell might be.” Hail, ’07, Hail, ’07, Hail! Absolute necessity to Bailey Wright’s. Counts his girls by tens. Enthusiast in everything. Has large interests in Capital City. Vera Ingram, “Kara,” Indianola, Iowa. Pi Beta Phi, Zetalethean, Geneva ( I ), Zetalethean Secretary ( 1 ) , Inter-So- ciety Debate (2) (3), Simpsonian Staff (3), Class Play (3), Zenith Staff (3), Class President (3), Phi Omega (3). ”When she had passed, it seemed lil(e the ceasing of exquisite music.” Puts Principles of Argumentation into practice. One of the most truly popular girls in school. Mathematical genius. Favorite virtue. Frankness. Stella Mauk, “Teddy” Chariton, la. Alpian, Geneva (1 ), Alpian Secretary (1), Vice-President (2). “0 easy temper, normally good ” Has a smile equal to infinity. Leans to- ward the clergy. Eunora Maxson, “You-knov -cr Wau- keegon, Illinois. Zetalethean, Instructor in Art (1) (2) (3), Zetalethean Consul (1), Zenith Staff (3). “It ivill take a century to produce such another.” Chief authority on Welsh rarebit and fudge. “My father the Doctor.” Last, but not least, an artist. John Dunn Martin, ”]ady,” “Prof” Wherever-he-is. Sigma Nu, Everett, Instructor in Elocu- tion (2) (3), Class Play (3). “The stage, the stage, my kingdom is the stage.” Has great ability as a reader. Chapel stair coaster. Authority on scrambled eggs. To the aspiring Freshman: “This is very wrong, very wrong.” Fred Melick, Med FrclickPerry, la. Kappa Theta Psi, Everett, Simpsonian Staff (2). Thy hair is wonderfully and fearfully arranged. Possesses admirable self poise. “How beautiful the moon is.” Good student. Grace Moore, Polly, Corydon, Iowa. Delta Delta Delta, Zetalethean, Zetale- thean Treasurer (2). As brisk as a bee in conversation. Box 682, not the Hall. Favorite study. Geology. Country lass. Frank L. Mott, “Leonidas,” Audubon, Iowa. Alpha Tau Omega, Kallonian, Freshman Debating Team (1), Kallonian Critic (1) (2), Class President (2), Var- sity Debate (2), Gibson Essay Prize (2) , Simpsonian Staff (2), Kallonian Consul (3), Editor-in-Chief of ’07 Zenith (3), Class Play (3), First in Home Oratorical (3), Phi Omega (3) . “ ’Tis the voice of the sluggard I hear him complain, ‘ You have called me loo soon, I must slumber again.' Favorite slang: “Durn” (among men), “Ach Louie” (among ladies). Ex-Quaker. Looks like Mid. ‘‘What that something is. I’ll ask my cigar.” May PARDEE, “Pardp,” Sidney, Iowa. Delta Delta Delta, Zetalethean, Zetale- thean Treasurer (3), Nashville (3). She, with all the charm of woman. ‘‘Poor Richard.” Chief Cook. ‘‘What’s the Chem lesson?” Popular and lovable. Je vous aime, Francais. Olive Perkins, Perk, Shenandoah, la. Secretary of Scientific Association (3). “ ain't, nor don't pretend to be. No great hand at Philosophy Chief raider at the Hall. Great “thientitht.” Favorite sport, roller skating. J. Edson Preston, Pres, Indianola, la. Kallonian, Freshman Debating Team (1), Alpian Consul (1), Varsity Football (1) (2) (3), Kallonian Treasurer (2), Y. M. C. A. Treas- urer (3). To Football lore, rvhat's Physics, or Political Economy? Has fondness for carrying pig-skin over the line. Stars in Basketball, especially in roughness. “Sistah Cah’ line.” J. Carl Pryor, “Jack” Council Bluffs, la. Alpha Tau Omega, Kallonian, Manager Freshman Debate (1), Kallonian Con- sul (1), Critic (3), Class Treasurer (1), Secretary (3), Business Man- ager Class Play (3), Debating Coun- cil (3). “ With a necktie bright and a happy smile. He goes his weekly (?) call to make” A steady lad is Carl. Since ’06 Zenith, has learned to smile. A southern gentleman. Mary Nell Rea, “Midget ” Corydon, la. Delta Delta Delta, Zetalethean, Glee Club (1), Class Vice-President (3), Class Play (3), Zetalethean Critic (3). “Sweet and low.” With a name like Mary Nell Rea Comes happiness all the long dea For she is as merry As any gay ferry And drives all dull care far avvea. Ada SCHIMELFENIG, “Schim, Indianola, Iowa. Alpha Alpha Gamma. “ WhaCs the name, please ? The lady in gray. Nationality unknown. Jun:or wedding hostess. ‘‘Sitteth not in the seat of the Hunker.” Seth F. Shenton, Shenl Stuart, la. Everett. “Built like a mosquito, long and thin. Candidate for Charon’s job. Truth and veracity absolutely unquestioned. Score keeper at baseball games. Rowena Smith, “Row ener - M ull,” Indian- ola, la. Delta Delta Delta, Zetalethean. Glee Club (I), Class Vice-President (2), Zetalethean Secretary (2) (3). “Her voice ivas like the voice the stars Had n)hen they sang together.” Interests in the West. “Those hands they bean a Swede’s.” All together adorable. “II Trovatore.” May Starbuck, “Lady Gilding,” Indian- ola, Iowa. Zetalethean, Class Play (3), Zetalethean Secretary (3). Her hair is no more sunnp than her heart. “Oh, mamma!” Lives in suburb of Milo. Stars in French. Hostess of second course of Soph party. i Forrester C. Stanley, “Frosty” Indi- anola, Iowa. Kallonian, Business Manager Simpsonian (3), Class Play (3), Kallonian Sec- retary (3), Second in Home Orator- ical (3). “That old man eloquent.” “How much does a marriage license cost?” Authority on farming. Enjoys bowlin’. Mabel Vale, “Millie,” Indianola, Iowa. Pi Beta Phi. “Of comely form was she and fair of face.” Likes Ames. Received chafing dish for Christmas. Favorite pastime, playing “Truth.” Paul White, “Henders,” Oom Paul Indianola, Iowa. Kappa Theta Psi, Varsity Football (1) (2) (3), Varsity Baseball (1) (2), Varsity Basketball (1) (2), Class Play (3). “Much can be made of a Scotchman if he be caught young.” A loyal class man. S S S S S S S. Mod- ern Antony. “A man whom no lassie can resist.” ‘‘Ach Louie, I love thee.” Herbert White, “Herb” Indianola, la. Kappa Theta Psi, Kallonian. “The very hairs of thy head are numbered Last number, 209. An ex-pedagogue. General class repre- sentative in indoor track meet. Plays “Truth.” n . Wayne Stahl, “Schlitz,” Indianola, la. Kallonian, Corresponding Secretary of Y. M. C. A. (3), Kallonian Critic (3). “And he could quote! Ye gods! How he could quote!” Greatest punster since Shakespeare. “By the little black box ye shall know him.” Contortionist of English. Also poet. Naught-Seven Has-Beens. Messrs. McKinley, Fuller, Campbell, Day. Carleton, Coles, Hoff, Orr, Picken, Lyons, May, Allen, Bulles, Engleman, Ruby, Boreman, Brown, McClure, Miller, Lisle. Misses Talley, Thompson, Slocum, Cook, Lusher, Ream, Hoskins, Peasely, Gaskill, Ries, Bartholomew, Irwin, Hancox, Gossard, Dunnegan. Sophomores. CLASS OFFICERS. Roy E. Curtis, President. May Frampton, Vice-President. Pearl Russell, Secretary. Guy Conrey, Treasurer. George W. Hall, Historian. COLORS: Brown and White. CLASS SONG. Tune—Heidelberg. Where is the student who could not find The time to be jolly and gay? Ready for frolics of any kind. And game to the end of the fray? So dear to the student of jovial mind Are the hours that we give to folly: Then, bound heart to heart. Come pledge ’ere we part A toast that will last alway. Here’s to the school whose name we bear, Here’s to the Red and Gold; Here s to her campus broad and fair, Here’s to her students bold! Here’s to the Seniors—let it pass,, Grant them a worthy fate. Here is a toast to the Sohomore class Here is to Nineteen Eight! Simpsonia, Simpsonia, We ask that we may be In years to pass a worthy class To praise thy name for thee. And when our college days are o’er And we from thee depart, 1 hy memory shall ever be Held dear in every heart. Sophomore Wind HE Sophomore Class may be briefly characterized by three words: Ability, Originality, and Strength. In other words, we are able to bring things to pass. We are able men and women. Carlyle says that the supreme business of society is to find its Able man (or Ableclass) and see to it that he is invested with posi- tions of power and authority, that he may have room to exercise his abilities for 'the good of all. We the class of ’08, are assured that the other classes of Simpson, after this hint as to their duty, will be eager to manifest their loyalty to the school by straightway prostrating themselves on the oil on the chapel stairs before us and imploring us to wear the crown of honor. Already there is a general recognition of our ability, but owing to the tardy action of the brains of some of our inferiors the coronation has been delayed. We realize the danger of being considered boastful in speaking forth the truth boldly and without reserve. But we venture to say that with the excep- tion of about a dozen low-browed, ignorant, incorrigible fellows of the baser sort the student body will readily assent to all that we claim. There are two reasons for this implicit trust in the ability of the class of ’08. The first one is that the ’08’s have a wide reputation for the strictest veracity and modesty. The second, that it has a very convincing way of imparting any desired infor- mation to the vulgar crowd. This method differs from that of the people of Missouri only in change of voice. The class of ’08 shows its inferiors their mistakes, whereas the people of Missouri must be shown. Our date of birth was September eighteenth, nineteen hundred four. The students were strangely impressed with the beauty and the indefinable splendor of the morning. This unusual power or force expended by nature seemed to deepen as the day advanced. The faculty found themselves besieged from all sides to please explain this strange behavior of nature. But that grave, severe, dignified body of spirits only used mystical terms to conceal their ignorance of the cause of the phenomena. Confusion ran riot until about ten o’clock a huge poster appeared announcing that the powers had decreed that the class of ’08 should receive form and spirit upon that very day. “Of course,’’ “Sure enough,’’ was heard upon every side. This seemed a sufficient cause for all the glory shown forth by the day and accordingly they marked their chapel slips “P. C.’’ signifying Powerful Class. Tyl«r Mlftl Wlin Crate� MeFaJon Bean Peel Heaton Harii� Mo«f Latimer Silliman Back Dalrymfl Witua Leosari Se ae� y RvmII Retiri Prooifeot Tillman Stitt Hoi met Haatox As nature does not expend energy foolishly, everybody looked for some- thing great from a class so signally marked from its birth. True to the expectations of all the class of ’08 began to exert a mighty influence upon the college life. A Horsley and a Samson were found to assume control of this group of forces. Brown and white were chosen as the colors to be honored by them. Many wonderful things might be said of the early life of this precocious class. It never experienced the ordinary verdant stage of immaturity so dis- tasteful to the older students and faculty. Some scientific minds have the theory that this mature condition of mind was brought about by the fact that so many of the particles had been so thoroughly sterilized during the years cf Prepdom that the germs of verdancy failed to develope. hurthermore, when the foreign particles came in contact with the sterilized molecules, there immediately began such a rapid assimilation that every germ of verdancy was quickly squelched. As time advances this theory is being quite generally accepted. But whether that be true or not it is absolutely certain that the only sign of immaturity in the class of ’08 became evident early in the winter term of its first year. At that time it was attacked by a severe case of the mumps. The malady was irritated until both jaws assumed very definite colors. The right side was marked by brown and white spots, while the left at first was decidedly purple and light blue, but afterwards rapidly assumed various colors from time to time. At length Dr. Ballot being summoned, succeeded in reducing the inflammation and brought the entire surface to the same colors. Since recovery from this disorder the development of the class has been marvelous. I he class of ’08 has experienced some frolicsome periods, during which it has been known to do strange deeds. One time (as the story goes) while attending the County Fair during a prolonged session, it ran a big B(l)uff on some country urchins who were having their midnight lunch in the open air. Another time several of its spirits decided to decorate the chapel with colors of their own liking. This caused the institution of what is generally known as the “forced rest system.” After these things there followed victories in debate, athletics and scholar- ship. This year has been one of victory. Our path grows brighter and brighter. 1 here never will be just such a class again and Simpson seems to realize it. The approach of the coronation draweth nigh. Two years hence when Prexy shall hand to each of us a diploma decorated with gold, he will turn to the faculty and say, “Weep and howl now, my dearly beloved, for your fairest daughters and noblest sons are leaving you.” And now a final word with you. If there be any advice worth heeding it is this: Watch the class of ’08 and as far as in you lieth, imitate their actioni and efforts, and you will not come out at the little end of the horn. —G. W. H. Freshmen. CLASS OFFICERS. Bert Harris, President. Fred C. Smith, Vice-President. Florence Volk, Secretary. Roy L. Robbins, Treasurer. Herbert Porterfield, Athletic Manager. COLORS: Scarlet and Black. YELLS. Ka rick ka rack La jitima tack Ka rickety rackety Killa ka rine Ka rick ka rine La jitima tine Freshmen Freshmen Nineteen Nine! We’re wide awake We’re always game Enough at stake We’re never tame Whatever comes we’re right in line We are the class of 1909! STATISTICS. Average height—5 ft. 3 in. Average weight—126 lbs. 12 oz. Average age—19 years 6 months. AiV.tor. Rui� W.I� . Jrnnrr Picl Brounnk Graft � Simi� Mclick Robbina Skifir Joy Portirfiald Jcl-mon Volk Sckrr Walbura Wn'rbt Kimball Cor Marti� Rolara Snojfraaa BaMwt'n Stklick Brown Erwi� Harria Stbimrlf«ni May Woeia McBrvif Fintal Raabr NirVol Grorfr Boilrr Caniar Alia. P.V� rr Freshman Breeze. CHAPTER I. 1. And there carr.e up out of many lands certain young men and young women for to sojourn in the land of Simpson. 2. Some among them were of the tribe of the Charitonites, and some from the tribe of the Corydonites, of the Villiscites and of the Jeffersonites. 3. And many were from the tribe of the Indianolites, and all were bright lights. 4. In the land of Simpson they gathered themselves together to the number of three score and ten that all might praise, saying, 5. Verily, this is a class. 6. And they talked among themselves with much laughter, saying, 7. Let us have a bum and make merry 8. For time flyeth and man’s life is but a brief span, and we are Freshmen but once; 9. Therefore let the cymbals be brought forth and let the music sound. 10. And therefore was much rejoicing among those of the tribe of Naught Nine. CHAPTER II. 1. 1 he strong men of the tribe of Naught Nine went forth out of their houses down into the Gridiron 2. To try what they could do against the Drakites and the Cornellites. 3. And there was one of the tribe of Albion who was much pleased as he looked upon their goodly strength and considered their work, and he spoke, saying, 4. Lo, there are come up out of the land of Naught Nine mighty warriors before whom the Drakites may fear and the Cornellites tremble with a great fear. 5. And when the mighty of Cornell came down upon them, the men of Simpson smote them with a mighty smite, 6. And they left with a soreness as of a great defeat. 7. Then went up all the men of the nation out of the land of Simpson against the Drakites, Bailor Ratal caiup Sharp Hi((iu Morri Jonc. McCurdy UAa Sahimalfanif Muow DanaK. Brown SLitlty Piir« Smith Vincent Sul' � Jehu� � Woolln Pierce Osborn Cornwall 8. But they returned, saying, 9. It is not a land for us yet to possess it. 10. Yet were the young men of the tribe of Naught Nine valiant 1 I. And their young women had voices like a horn of alarum in a fog. 1 2. Or like a young calf bellowing; 1 3. That their young men might take courage. CHAPTER III. 1. Then there sprang up among those of the tribe of Naught Nine, talkers, and arguers of might questions 2. And questions considered much among the men of the nation. 3. And lo, certain of these went again up against the tribe of the Drakites 4. And with confusion of words assailed they them, yea, with con- fusion of words confounded they their minds, 3. Yet the judges of the land answered them and said 6. Verily, you are wrong, for trusts are grafts. Selah. 7. And it came to pass also that many played at the sport called Basketball, and won much honor therein. 8. And the years beckoned the tribe of Naught Nine, saying, 9. We hold for you all honors and pleasures, and help without stint. Everett S EVERY well established institution has a history that is of interest to those who contemplate its present greatness it has seemed fitting that we should here indulge in a little retrospect in order that the Everett Literary Society may appear before the student body perfectly explained and well understood. In relating how the society came into existence and in giving the steps in its development we may readily account for present conditions, and we may justify the general impres- sion that Everettism is synonymous with stability and Simpson. This treatise naturally divides itself into three main divisions; namely, the very early days, the middle period, and today. First, we shall treat the very early days of the society’s history, and as we delve into the archives, the accumulated dust of years makes the task more difficult. We learn from pre- vious compilation of Everett history that the society is the oldest organization in connection with the college, since it antedates the charter of the college by two years. In the year 1865 a few young men, undergraduate students of “Blue- bird Seminary’’ banded themselves together in a literary society under the name “Philomathean.” They met in a recitation room in the old Bluebird under this name until the year 1867, when, at the suggestion of Judge J. H. Henderson, one of the founders of the society, they changed their name to “Everett” in honor of Edward Everett. Because of this change in name, the year 1867 is the accepted date of the founding of the society. J- s soon as it was possible to do so the society moved to the new building just completed, our present chapel building, and here they have met ever since. From the very first it appears that the Everetts had a peculiar affinity for the Zetaletheans, having been affiliated with them in bums and in controversies concerning furniture at a very early date. This happy state of affairs is as old as the college itself, and it would appear, almost as firmly established. As the Zetaletheans have ever possessed the flower of the feminine element of the school, so have the Everetts numbered among their members many of the most stalwart men that have ever gone forth from Simpson. After years of honorable and profitable living the Everetts succumbed to the general depression that hung over the whole nation and in 1895 they almost lost their individuality by their union with the Smithsonians, a mixed society that had been in existence ever since 1876. But soon brighter days came to the nation and with other W«Wr Crinn Curti� CiUwell Keirrey Wkit, Skeey Alim Correy Skipi m Mirlin D y« Wiekind G.me. M� y Hlrri . Miller O.Ut. Hill Yoekey Wort Mcliek CcIIk-K Ar.iU Sillier Hindi Refer� IWrke Skenton Coee Tilln.n Coe Morel ey Hite institutions of national importance, the Smith-Everett society awoke to a new life. By a rapid succession of changes the society emerged from its former bonds and became again a free, strictly gentlemen’s society, purified from any alloy. Again the Everett spirit was uppermost and its growth was so substantial and healthy that in the year 1901 the society emerged from its long sleep, the old original Everetts. Then, what of today? Through the changing vicissitudes, through the ups and downs that have beset even our college during its growth, the Everett Society has endured, and today it stands as a landmark of the old days, much as an ancient oak that has been seasoned by the hardships of a stormy existence. To the Everett is given the rare privilege of looking back upon an illustrious ancestry—one of which he may well be proud. But may he not be content with mere retrospect. May he concern himself with the present, considering how he may bear his part of the responsibility for the present and future standing of his society. May he seek to emulate the past’s worthy example. With a profound respect for the Everetts of former times and with a clear conception of his duty to the society of today, may he live industriously and worthily, that the Everett Society may attain to yet greater heights as the college is prospered, and that first, now, and all the time, Everettism may be synonymous with stability and Simpson. —R. P. B. EVERETT INTERSOCIETY DEBATING TEAM Zetalethean. ROM Seerley’s Manual of College Literary Societies, published in 1871 : “The Zetalethean Society of Simpson Centenary College, composed exclusively of ladies, was organized October 6, 1867, by twelve young ladies. Miss Louie M. Anderson was elected first president. It contains at present about fifty members and is rapidly growing. The order of exercises consists of orations, lectures, essays, debates, select read- ing, and such other exercise as the consul may direct.” The history of a nation is written in the lives of its great men and their deeds. If this is true of a nation, it is much more true of the Zetalethean Literary Society. The only authentic history procurable is the paragraph quoted above, and since this is such scanty information and antedates the Cen- tennial at least, the inference must of necessity be drawn that recourse must be made to the lives of the women who have been its members for its history. But here too disappointment awaits us, for between those whose memory fails them through the long lapse of years and those who will plead “not guilty” to the accusation of having lived so long ago, credulity weakens, and the doubt arises as to whether such a thing really did exist. However, proceeding in the manner of the great archaeologists, the fact asserted by Seerley, that the society in 1871 had fifty members and was growing rapidly is construed with the fact that the society is in existence today and performs these same functions. The conclusion is reached that beyond the shadow of a doubt the society existed in the intervening years. Out of this dim country of superstition and myth, legends have come down to the present day that may be accepted as true. A movement which was prior to and probably premonitory of the powerful enthusiasm for unions which has swept our country was witnessed in Simpson when a “Literary Union” was formed composed of some Ex-Everetts, some outsiders, and two-thirds of the Zetes (we blush to write it). Those unworthy Zetes seemed to be impelled by the same motives which prompt blind allegiance on the part of the workingman for his union today,—motives that forget the welfare of their families and seek their own personal advancement. At the time of the desertion just seven faith- ful Zetes were left, and for one interminable term, this dauntless band per- formed the seven great labors of Hercules, in that they appeared on the pro- gram every week. The Everetts attended these sessions en masse and paid their tribute to the seven wonders of the world weekly. Alas, however, this beautiful spirit of peace and harmony has not always prevailed between the Everetts and Zetes. The placing of the sign on the door, “No admission except during intervals of the program” was not a permanent fixture until after some months of bitter controversy. The make of the present piano owned jointly by the two societies was only decided upon after a fight to the death. This year the society has kept up its reputation for Literary excellence by winning from the Alpians in the preliminary debate of the Inter-Society. Just to show that the society was versatile, the Zetes entertained the Everetts at a garden party which was one of the events of the year. Just to show that they were broad-minded, the Zetes condescended to hold a joint session with the Everetts, there to consider a topic entirely beyond the range of their interests— marriage in prehistoric and present times. The society this year has been com- posed of members of the three undergraduate classes with one exception. The work has been conscientiously done and the standards well main- tained, and the wise owl on the Zetalethean banner view's the society’s work with undisguised approval, never sleeping during the programs, although they always occur during the day time. —B. H. ZETALETHEAN 1NTERSOCILTY DEBATING TEAM Alpian. N 1 892 it was found that there was a need for a literary society among the Academy and Normal students in which they could remain ir.err.bers until their graduation from college. So, on the evening of October 1st, 1892, under the direction of Dr. Noss, a member of the faculty, the Alpian Society was organized with nineteen charter members. In the winter term of 1895, the society obtained, as a permanent meeting place, the west room on the third floor of the chapel building, where they still hold their meetings. It was also in this year that one of our members, S. M. Holladay, won the state oratorical contest and secured third place in the inter- state contest in which ten states were represented. The growth of Simpson College brought more students to her halls as Freshmen than to the Academy or Normal Departments, creating a demand for another undergraduate literary society. With the consent of the faculty, the Alpian Society met this need by changing their constitution as to requirements for membership. According to this change, a student to be eligible must either be a graduate of a high school or of Simpson Academy. Again in 1 903 Simpson’s bell rang out the joyful news that one of her students had won the state oratorical contest and again it was an Alpian, M. R Talley, who carried off the honors. In the fall of 1 904, it seemed best to make another change in the constitu- tion, by which only young ladies were eligible to membership. Under the new constitution the society started out with only twelve members, but before the term was over the roll numbered thirty. The society has done and is doing first-class literary work, and its mem- bers are receiving such training in parliamentary drill as to enable them to pre- side over any kind of an assembly. While keeping the literary work up to the standard, we do not neglect the social side of our natures. At the beginning of each fall term our new members are entertained in some informal way in order that all may become better acquainted. During the Spring Term of 1905, we were very pleasantly entertained by the Kallonian Literary Society. The Alpians are always represented on the home oratorical contests, and in the inter-society debates, and while all have not been signal victories, he decisions have in each case been very close and we have derived great benefit CfO! Yoot. Mir.h.II Carlin Brown Wood. Moorr JohniOn Jcaci Rr r,:’;i John Mauk Mation Atri Martin W„'(ki MtBKda Tyltr Tallty Fintrl PipHrr Danakin Hi«i Cor Elliaon Goliarh Saodtraaa Jotinaon Stuart Raynolda Morrii Griflitk Bowlin Q-aylr Wilion Colvtr from them. Besse Matson, Elsie Reynolds and Carolyn Higgs composed our debating team for this year, and we are proud of their work in debate. With our motto, “There are no Alps” before her, every Alpian girl should feel that it depends on her to remove every obstacle and surmount every difficulty which stands in the way of the Alpian Society. Our purpose is to make every meeting both entertaining and instructive. Visitors are cordially invited to come to our meetings and inspect our work. Rejoicing over our successes, and counting our failures as stepping stones to greater success, we will endeavor to make our society and its work stand among the very best of the school. “We are the Alps, Alps, We are the jolly Alpians, With brain and work we’ll mix our mirth, And win because of our great worth. By blue and white stand Alpians Blue for the truth and purest white E’er stands for strength and sturdy might And waves for loyal Alps.’’ —S. M. ALFIAN INTERSCCIETY DEEATINC TEAM Kallonian. F ALL the organizations that have flourished and grown great among a deluge of adversities the Kallonians.undoubtedly take the cake. But this spirit of martyrdom which one joyfully takes upon himself when he becomes a Ki Yi seems to serve to bind us closer together and we are sworn comrades. Still vivid in the minds of some of the present Seniors are the recollections of the times we used to have up in that little sanctum sanctorum, now serving as Latin room, where we were initiated into the mystery of mysteries of the Ki Yi’s. But the height to which the temperature in that room used to rise was something fierce. The boys used to have to sit round with their coats off to keep from roasting, and I reckon it used to create a commotion when the shadow of a ladies’ bonnet showed up in that ground glass in the door. A sudden scramble for coats ensued and everbody wore an air of dignity when “Dude” Perry, our efficient room committee, opened the door. That glass was certainly handy—saved many a disaster. And say now, talking about door- keepers— if old “Dude” wasn’t the best one that ever served in that capacity, then we’ll take our hats off to a better one. But the greatest excitement that ever prevailed up in that room was the time when someone sent half a watermelon to “Diff” our worthy president and Prince of Parliamentarians. “Dude” took it up and carefully deposited it upon the table but about that time the boys all unceremoniously made a rush for the melon, a general stampede followed, and when order was restored the floor was strewn with watermelon and many a coat was made unfit for further service. Bobby the janitor charged us a dollar for cleaning up the remains of that fight too. We next went down town in the rooms over Swan Peck’s store to try our luck at developing our literary ability. We always had fine programs down there and got a heap of good out of our work, but those after meetings were something frightful to encounter. As soon as the visitors were gone the air was filled with flying missiles—pebbles from the “roof garden” out at the back win- dow, dominoes, chunks of coal, overshoes, and rubbers. Long about this time our treasury department was set on a firm basis by the fines imposed, for it always cost us about two bits a shot when we got caught at it. One night the fines ran up to nine dollars and thirty odd cents. H f Ion Wfciu Pryor B..,d Shirley Br.rJ f«.M Cnm FU'm DuMnVtry W.l.on £ hin lf«ni( TyUr IWmu F,««l SrUiil Fintrl Erwin $ ru. y Cilluy F.iuW P«. 5 ni«ity Mon Rf yno! J� StiaUy Duel Bailor SV.w But the funniest thing I ever saw down there was the time some nervy lobster sent a potato flying across the room and hit “Shorty” Linn just below the collar button when he was up on the floor reading a production. It was an awful breach of etiquette—it was right during the program you know—but I laughed till I thought I would die. 1 hen they put us up in one corner of the Art Room. It does seem like a shame to poke a lot of bright, energetic and aspiring young men away off up there in an old room where the temperature in summer reaches 1 05 and drops in winter to AO below; where the lights went out every other Friday night and Peer had to chase out with a few cohorts enlisted for the occasion to muster up some lamps. We used to have lots of programs in the early fall on such sub- jects as “The Production of Ice,” “Famous Summer Resorts,” “Arctic Explorations,” and such. But in winter we always discussed methods of pro- ducing heat, life in the tropics, the infernal regions and the like, and on bad nights when the lights went out we would talk about popular lighting systems. 1 hey finally gave us quarters up in the third story of the chapel and told us to go there and rest in peace. At last we have found a home. Always in for fun, we never neglect our main business—literary work. In the five years of our existence, Ki Yi’s have won three Home Oratorical Contests and a Second in a State Contest; Two Romans Oratorical Prizes; three Inter-Society Debates; ten out of fifteen places in the Freshman Debating Teams; three firsts and five other places on college teams; one State Prohibi- tion Contest; and the honor of putting our name first on the Debating Trophy. —E. V . C. KALLONIAN INTERSOCIETY DEBATING TEAM COLLEGE DEBATING TEAM Pi Beta Phi Founded at Monmouth College in 1861. COLORS: Wine and Silver Blue. FLOWER: Carnation. PUBLICATION: The Arrow.” CHAPTER ROLL. INITIATES. Cora Quayle, Pearl Hathaway, Mabel Brown, Mary Kilburn, Blanche Spurgeon, Vera Ingram, Ruth Baker, Elizabeth Brown, Mabel Vale, Pearl Russell, Ada Proudfoot, Jessie Schee, Lois Silcott, Helen Walburn, Lena Dunning, Nannie White, Bernice Halley, Ruth Dudley. PLEDGES. Amanda Young. PATRONESSES. Mrs. T. T. Anderson, Mrs. J. L. Tilton, Mrs. E. W. Hartman, Mrs. W. M. Parks, Mrs. E. B. Dowell. Pi Beta Phi ROLL OF CHAPTERS. Vermont Alpha, Middlebury College. Vermont Beta, University of Vermont. Columbia Alpha, George Washington University. Pennsylvania Alpha, Swarthmore College. Pennsylvania Beta, Bucknell University. Pennsylvania Gamma, Dickinson College. Ohio Alpha, Ohio University. Ohio Beta, Ohio State University. New York Alpha, Syracuse University. New York Beta, Barnard College. Massachusetts Alpha, Boston University. Maryland Alpha, Woman’s College of Baltimore. Illinois Beta, Lombard College. Illinois Delta, Knox College. Illinois Epsilon, Northwestern University. Illinois Zeta, University of Illinois. Indiana Alpha, Franklin College. Indiana Beta, University of Indiana. Indiana Gamma, University of Indianapolis. Michigan Alpha, Hillsdale College. Michigan Beta, University of Michigan. Iowa Alpha, Iowa Wesleyan University. Iowa Beta, Simpson College. Iowa Zeta, Iowa State University. Iowa Gamma, Iowa State College. Wisconsin Alpha, University of Wisconsin. Missouri Alpha, University of Missouri. Louisiana Alpha, Newcomb College. Kansas Alpha, Kansas University. Nebraska Beta, University of Nebraska. Texas Alpha, University of Texas. Colorado Alpha, University of Colorado. Colorado Beta,Denver University. California Alpha, Stanford University. California Beta, University of California. Delta Delta Delta. Founded at Boston University) in I8S8. COLORS: Silver, Gold and Blue. FLOWER: The Pansy. PUBLICATION: The Trident. CHAPTER ROLL. INITIATES. Ina May Robbins, Ada B. Lisle, Elizabeth Harris, Mary Nell Rea, Grace Moore, Rowena Murl Smith, May Pardee, May Frampton, Mary Sampson, Elizabeth Smith, Blanche Smith, Edith IlgenFritz, Florence Volk, Ada Melick, Louise Peck, Edith Rea, Eda Johnson, Nelle Marlatt, PLEDGES. Mary Grafton. Margaret Brown, HONORARY MEMBERS. Mrs. Charles Eldred Shelton Miss Elizabeth C. Bentley. Delta Delta Delta. ROLL OF CHAPTERS. Alpha, Boston University. Beta, St. Lawrence University. Gamma, Adrian College. Delta, Simpson College. Epsilon, Knox College. Zeta, University of Cincinnati. Eta, University of Vermont. Theta, University of Minnesota. Kappa, University of Nebraska. Lambda, Baker University. Mu, University of Wisconsin. Nu, Ohio State University. Xi, Woman’s College, Baltimore. Omicron, Syracuse University. Pi, University of California. Rho, Barnard College. Sigma, Wesleyan University. Tau, Bucknell University. Upsilon, Northwestern University. Phi, University of Iowa. Chi, University of Mississippi. Psi, University of Pennsylvania. Alpha Xi, Randolph-Macon Women’s College. DELTA DELTA DELTA CHAPTER HOUSE Alpha Tau Omega. Founded in 1865 at Virginia Military Institute. Established in 1885 at Simpson. COLORS: Sky Blue and Old Gold. FLOWER: White Tea Rose. PUBLICATION: “The Alpha Tau Omega Palm.” CHAPTER ROLL. FRATRES IN UNIVERSITATE. Verne D. Dusenbery, Guy J. Fansher, Chester L. Gose, E. Ward Carpenter, J. Carl Pryor, Harold W. Flint, Frank L. Mott, Merrill J. Holmes, Harry E. Senseny, V. Wesley Buck, Foss O. Heaton, Guy Conrey, Herbert D. Porterfield, Bert Harris, Will Hullinger, Arthur Krell, Henry P. Bennison, Carl Brown. PLEDGE. R. Earl McConnell. IN FACULTATE. Wm. B. Read, John Landsbury, Dudley D. Griffith, IN URBE. Wm. Buxton, Jr. B. F. Miller, PATRON. Dr. E. Porterfield. ALPHA TAU OMEGA. ROLL OF CHAPTERS. Ala. Alpha Epsilon, Alabama Polytechnic Institute. Ala. Beta Beta, Southern University. Ala. Beta Delta, University of Alabama. Fla. Alpha Omega, University of Florida. Ga. Alpha Beta, University of Georgia. Ga. Alpha Theta, Emory College. Ga. Alpha Zeta, Mercer University. Ga. Beta Iota, Georgia School of Technology. Cal. Gamma Iota, University of California. Col. Gamma Lambda, University of Colorado. La. Beta Epsilon, Tulane University. Tex. Gamma Eta, University of Texas. 111. Gamma Zeta, University of Illinois. 111. Gamma Xi, University of Chicago. Ind. Gamma Gamma, Rose Polytechnic Institute. Ind. Gamma Omicron, Purdue University. Iowa Beta Alpha, Simpson College. Kas. Gamma Mu, University of Kansas. Mich. Alpha Mu, Adrian College. Mich. Beta Kappa, Hillsdale College. Mich. Beta Lambda, University of Michigan. Mich. Beta Omicron, Albion College. Minn. Gamma Nu, University of Minnesota. Neb. Gamma Theta, University of Nebraska. Wash. Gamma Pi, University of Washington. Maine Beta Upsilon, University of Maine. Maine Gamma Alpha, Colby College. Mass. Gamma Beta, Tufts College. R. I. Gamma Delta, Brown University. Vt. Beta Zeta, University of Vermont. N. Y. Alpha Lambda, Columbia University. N. Y. Alpha Omicron, St. Lawrence University. N. Y. Beta Theta, Cornell University. Pa. Alpha Iota, Muhlenburg College. Pa. Alpha Pi, Washington and Jefferson College. Pa. Alpha Rho, Lehigh University. Pa. Alpha Upsilon, Pennsylvania College. Pa. Tau, University of Pennsylvania. N. C. Alpha Delta, University of North Carolina. N. C. Xi, Trinity College. S. C. Beta Xi, College of Charleston. Va. Delta, University of Virginia. Ohio Alpha Nu, Mt. Union College. Ohio Alpha Psi, Wittenberg College. Ohio Beta Eta, Ohio Wesleyan University. Ohio Beta Mu, Wooster University. Ohio Beta Omega, Ohio State University. Ohio Gamma Kappa, Western Reserve University. Tenn. Alpha Tau, Southwestern Presbyterian University. Tenn. Beta Pi, Vanderbilt University. Tenn. Beta Tau, Southwestern Baptist University. Tenn. Omega, University of the South. Tenn. Pi, University of Tennessee. Wash. Gamma Pi, University of Washington. Kappa Theta Psi. Established Nov. 10, 1902. COLORS: Black and Old Gold. FLOWER: American Beauty. CHAPTER ROLL. Roy Worth, Earl M. Hale, Harvey H. Lisle, Fred R. Melick, Worth McClure, Paul A. White, Herb H. White, Milo B. Latimer, J. Thomas Rogers, Bruce Tallman, John L. Horsley, Roy L. Robbins, Duane D. Sampson, Fred Rogers, Howard Lewis, Roy Brourink. Phi Delta Kappa. Established 1905. COLORS: Burnt Orange and Brown. CHAPTER ROLL. Frank Jenkins, Frank Buffington, Frank Magel, Ralph Hardin, Clark Snell, I. R. Wilson. Alpha Alpha Gamma. Established 1905. COLORS: Gold and White. FLOWER: White Carnation. INITIATES. Florence Armstrong, Myrtle Bussey, Ellen Conrey, Lena Dalrymple, Nellie Harris, Lois Lora Hagler, Olive Jones, Carrie McFadon, Ada Schimelfenig, Mayme Silliman, Smith. PLEDGES. Margaret Schimelfenig, Ethel McFadon. PATRONESSES. Miss Ida B. Steyer, Miss Alice Barrows, Mrs. B. F. Clayton, Miss Mattie Watson. . Senior Preparatory. COLORS: Canary and Black. G. G. DeVault, President. Baton C. Tennant, Vice-President. Margaret Pemble, Secretary. Charles Brown, Treasurer. YELLS. Ricker racker ricker racker Tiss boom bah Senior preps Senior preps Rah rah rah! Canary and Black! Canary and Black! We are the class that never goes back You can tell us by our actions We are Simpson’s chief attractions! And we are here till Nineteen Ten! Strawberry shortcake Blueberry pie V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! Are we in it? Well I guess! Senior preps Senior preps Yes Yes Yes! identify W4l J tltut Poltar O aVorn Ruth PulUr Joy Tuitlt MoBiia But. Tw«Jy JaeVaon Atca Fraaaaan Pltrwt llama DiVault S 4't Smith Utr Tiawlridjt JoV.r.ion Story Slirvtoo V� Mawkina JoktKB Baoaon Harria The Lowell Lyceum. HE Lowell Lyceum enjoys the distinction of being the only academy society in Simpson today. That it enjoys this dis- tinction is due to the unfailing devotion and unflagging zeal of all its members. These have always been the distinguishing char- acteristics of the Lowells. When a band of enthusiastic students in 1881, bound together in the name of the Philomathean Society, were holding very interesting meetings and had a prosperous society, they did not think that in ten years their organization would decline and the burdens of the work be taken up by academy students. Yet this was the case. The Philomathean Literary Society had both undergraduate and acad- emy piembers. This society flourished for some four years, after which it seemed to be not so aggressively at work as before. By the year I 891 affairs had reached a crisis. Not only were there no prospects of reviving the interest, but those few who yet wished to continue the society found themselves left severely alone. Then the Lowell Lyceum came into existence. Who its first officers were and who composed the membership is now unknown. That their zeal and work were efficient is attested by the fact that today we have the Lowell Lyceum. John Howard was one of its former presidents. Many others who are now holding positions of importance and trust in the busy walks of life once had their names on the membership roll. We have a right to the heritage of the old Philomathean Literary Society, too. Our society has passed through the usual vicissitudes of good and evil fortune. Rivals have sprung up and sorely pressed it, yet there were always a few persons faithful and the influence of the Lowells was always present in literary society affairs. The members have excelled other academy literary societies in debate, while their record in athletics is one of which they are proud. In 1900 we find many names which are well known in college affairs. Many of the recent graduates were interested in the society at this time. In the minutes of many of the meetings for these years, we find motions recorded by which adjournment was appointed at 6 o’clock. As the society was meeting MrB.i. Wool Burn. Jet. Brown T«.� .r,« F«. Cloud P.A Full.r Encx Tuttle Cunninlk.vn Mom Morrii MeBut� Potter U ir . Smith P«� r� or. V.n McCUi'a Tw ±y Fr««min HiwVim Joy Z 9P P '«rt PirUr Htnhbtrftr TtlUM at 3 p. m., this certainly indicates that exceedingly interesting sessions were held. The society was noted at this period for its decorum and excellent system of carrying on its business. We find that a committee composed of Mr. Hand- ley, Mr. Jeffrey and Mr. Hickman is appointed to get a key to unlock the bulletin board. The room committee are also instructed to oil the president’s chair. Several other matters of importance also occurred during this year. The society gave annual exhibitions or open sessions. In 1902 we find that Mr. Preston was elected president. At this time the society was prosperous, its roll of members being full. In the record for September 23, 1904, under the administration of Mr. Shafer, an amendment was carried to cause the society to meet at 7:30 P. M. on Fridays. This is our story up to date, but future historians will look back to the present time and record our acts as being interesting and different from theirs as we now do with those of former years. In our relation to those who may become members of the Lowell Lyceum, let us remember these words: “The Holy Supper is kept indeed In whatso we share with another’s need. Not what we give, but what we share— For the girt without the giver is bare. Who giveth himself with his alms feeds three. Himself, his hungering neighbor, and me.’’ —H. L. H. Conservatory of Music. E have all heard many times what music’s charms accomplish in the savage breast. Too bad then that we are not all savages, for a walk past the conservatory when music’s charms are at their best would convince one that the civilized breast is affected in quite another way. One would think that thirty pianos all going at once and each one trying to outdo the other twenty-nine, might soothe even a twentieth century civilized breast. But no? We will then add a score or so of vocalists, each one a howling success in his way, each one making more music to the square inch than you ever heard before to the square yard. What? You are not soothed? Oh, the miserable civilized breast! But you must be soothed. Let’s throw in by way of full measure some dozens of schreeching violins, a good dose of flutes, cornets, trombones, clarinets, and—oh yes, a pipe organ. Surely you are soothed now. No? What! Thirty pianists, two score vocal- ists, violins, wind instruments and pipe organ all going at once, and you are not soothed. But soothed you must be if music can do it. What have we left in our music box on the shady corner of the campus, that is calculated to soothe? Only a brass band of thirty pieces, an orchestra of twenty-five players, two glee clubs of sixteen voices each, and an oratorio chorus of one hundred and twenty-five. Now at last the civilized breast is soothed. No? If the conserv- atory in full blast will not soothe we will take a look at it during vacation. Closed are its doors, the pianists and vocalists are gone and silence reigns supreme. Standing on the steps that lead to the doors, we seem to listen to the faraway tones of those who once were here. The farmer comes from the fields in the evening warm and weary with his toil, takes down his old violin and plays a few familiar tunes with his wife at the piano. The children listen with wonder, and rest and quiet for the night come sweeter and sooner. The wearied busi- ness man comes from his worries and the daughter just home from school, at his request sits at the piano and sings the trouble from his brow. Or the house- wife drops her many cares and regains her strength for the tedious routine as she softly plays a Nocturne of Chopin. The minister, the lawyer, the doctor, the school teacher or seamstress, once students in Simpson Conservatory, all find rest and peace when, after the cares of the day, they turn to their music; and ' ... - ----- Miss Bussey Prof. Olive Prof. Landsbury Prof. Bonus Miss Barrows Prof. Leach Miss Halley Prof. Barrows CONSERVATORY FACULTY life is sweetened and thoughts are purified as they allow the quieting influence to enter their souls, and a thousand homes raise their voices in thankfulness to Simpson, who thus proves that music doth have charms to soothe the breast of all those who will listen to her song. —F. E. B. Simpson Musical Club. OR the past five years Simpson Musical Club has been the center around which the life of the conservatory, both musical and social has revolved. At least we of the club think so, for who amongst us has not felt himself to be the very center of attrac- tion, when sitting at the piano, we felt that awful hush come over the room, and knew that that hush comes only when a pupil forgets, and that that pupil is I— poor little I—growing smaller and smaller, as the vacuum in my brain grows correspondingly larger. At such times one realizes that the club is a great in- stitution—wonderful in its workings for the conservatory—and that I too am quite a wonderful institution in my workings for the club. The vacuum increases—the center of attraction decreases. In the dim hazy distance I see the piano before me. I have shrunk to the size of a spot, but that spot has ter- ribly big hands. They strike fifteen keys when I only aimed at three. What’s the matter with the pedals? I can’t find them—or is the spot too small to reach them? It is terrible to be such a conspicuous spot, in such a conspicuous club, in such a conspicuous conservatory, in such a conspicuous college. The spot shrinks—it has lost all of its edges. But my hands! They are enormous, and have as many edges as two yards of starched ruffle, and strike prodigious sound- ing combinations. I shrink. I am now only a dot—a speck. Oh, to be nothing, nothing, only a— Oh Chopin! Oh Beethoven! Why can’t I? But my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor my ways your ways. That awful silence is broken at last. It is broken by my feet as I stump off the stage. The spot has suddenly assumed the proportions of the vacuum, and each footfall sounds like a thunderclap in the night. Others follow, but it is to be hoped with better success than I had. Letters from old members are read. Then comes the Smitk Grani Cwi« HiiMn Kcnn y Hamilton AW « Crowley Donut Youta CakWrt Silverckorrt Moffett Bcnniacn Nyt Encion Trumbo McCurdy Skiftr McNair Brown Well. Ninaa Ooaiion MeFadon Dean Ham. Uick Henn V«Jd«r McConnell Ckinktn Boylan Bunty Barrow Halley Martie Brown Keeney Well. Kimball Harter Mereer Becakart C.nninikam Niell Catterlin Younf social part of the evening. Maybe a six course dinner is served, or maybe we have a jolly good time over our chafiing dishes as we make fudge for fifty or six- ty and crack nuts (or ladies’ fingers) for other refreshments. Or it may be that Mr. James’ pop-corn wagon is waylaid and actually hoisted into our hall, and we have hot pop-corn and apples. Should the pillows in the waiting room need covers, we do not hesitate to borrow sewing machines, and after the pro- gram all turn gleefully to work, and with material previously provided by the committee restore some thirty of them to their original freshness. Or sometimes we do away with the program altogether, and instead have a farce by the members, or some other form of amusement. Then occasionally a trip to Des Moines to hear “Parsifal” or some other opera or artist, is taken. So then the club is the musical, literary, and social nucleus of the con- servatory; and as we sit in our pleasant reading room and pore over the latest magazines or wait for a lesson, we wish it growth and usefulness and pros- perity. —F. E. B. BUSINESS. Senior Commercials COLORS: Old Gold and Dark Blue. OFFICERS. R. A. Smith, President E. H. Shuey, Vice-President. J. A. Oldaker, Secretary. H. A. Baer, Treasurer. CLASS ROLL. J. C. Alden, E. H. Hobson, D. E. Alden, R. W. Jackson, 0. H. Brice, A. H. Kunze, E. R. Barker, C. A. Nickols, B. F. Buffington, D. H. Russel, W. H. Bailey, J. A. Oldaker. E. F. Clary, T. G. Paulson, Wray Conner, Robert Raebel, D. N. Crowell, C. C. Schrier, W. A. Denton, R. A. Smith, F. A. Field, E. H. Shuey, George Good, H. J. Sampson, K. Hayashi, S. A. Strahan, C. F. Thompson. Who’s blamed for everything that’s wrong? Those Commercials. Who’s always called by cuss-words strong? Those Commercials. But when their student days have passed. And the boys are out in the world at last, Who then have all their friends outclassed? Those darn Commercials! kuv imw 'A® Lieutenant Emory S. West IEUTENANT Emory S. West was born in Troy, West Vir- ginia, in 1875. He received his education in the common schools of West Virginia and at Redfield College, South Dakota. He did not finish his college course, however, enlist- ing in the First South Dakota Volunteers on May 15, 1898. July of the same year found him in the Philippines. Without the exercise of any political graft or pull, but by the faithful and conscientious performance of duty, Private West gained the confidence of his superior officers and in August, 1899 was commissioned lieutenant of the Eleventh Cavalry Volunteers. Eighteen months later he was made a Second Lieutenant in the Regular Army. On April 1 7, 1903, he was promoted to a First Lieutenancy. His service in the Philippines lasted over four years and eight months, and his record shows fifty battles and engagements. Just two years after he received his commission as First Lieutenant, the following order was received in the Philippines: Special Orders } No. 88. ) War Department, Washington, April 17, 1905. EXTRACT. 8. By direction of the President, 1st Lieutenant Emory S. West, 7th Cavalry, is detailed as Professor of Military Science and Tactics at the Simpson College, Indianola, Iowa, and will proceed to Indianola and report in person to the President of the College for duty accordingly, relieving Major Daniel Robinson, United States Army, retired. The travel enjoined is neces- sary for the public service. ¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥ By order of the Secretary of War. Sgd. Adna R. Chaffee, Lieutenant General, Chief of Staff. Roster of Battalion Officers. First Lieutenant Emory S. West, U. S. A., Commandant. Cadet Major Edward H. Shuey, Commanding Battalion. STAFF. Captain Roy F. Curtis, Adjutant. Second Lieutenant E. C. Fintel, Quartermaster and Commissary. NON-COMMISSIONED STAFF. Sergeant E. M. Hale, Sergeant Major. Sergeant Harry E. Senseny, Color Sergeant. Sergeant Fred H. Osborn, Color Sergeant. Sergeant Thomas J. Shirley, Ordnance Sergeant. Sergeant E. Fred Cleary, Chief Bugler. Company “A.” Captain J. Thomas Rogers. First Lieutenant F. H. Rogers. Second Lieutenant H. W. Flint. First Sergeant Roy L. Robbins. Sergeant I. A. Silliman. Sergeant D. N. Crowell. Sergeant L. A. Crowell. Sergeant Guy Conrey. Corporal Chas. Moss. Corporal H. Pemble. Corporal H. L. Hawkins. Corporal Leon Keeney. Company “B.” Captain G. J. Fansher. First Lieutenant F. M. Yockey. First Lieutenant Wm. Reynolds. First Sergeant M. J. Holmes. Sergeant R. A. McBain. Sergeant L. Miller. Sergeant R. F. Tyler. Sergeant G. G. DeVault. Corporal H. Porterfield. Corporal R. B. Ericson. Corporal J. E. Cunningham. Company “C.” Captain J. L. Horsley. First Lieutenant George Magel. Second Lieutenant R. Hardin. First Sergeant Fred Melick. Sergeant Frank Bean. Sergeant G. E. Lair. Sergeant Chas. Schimelfenig. Corporal Will Aten. Corporal Roy Dowell. Corporal W. E. Osborn. Corporal C. A. Smith. Corporal W. S. Van. BAND. First Lieutenant D. H. Bonus, Director HOSPI1AL CORPS. Sergeant R. E. McConnell. From the 1888-9 Tangent. “Through the efforts of Prof. Tilton and Capt. Gaines the Cadets were organized in April with an enlistment of about twenty five. “It is proposed to begin next year in a regulation uniform which has been adopted as follows: Coat—A single breasted officers’ fatigue of cadet gray cloth, with regulation staff buttons. Vest—Same cloth and buttons (small size) as coat. Trousers—Cadet gray cloth with stripes of black cloth one inch in width down outer seam. Cap of cadet gray cloth (U. S. A. pattern) with a band of black cloth and ornamented with a wreath of yellow metal enclosing the letter “S” in white metal. Uniforms of officers and non-commissioned officers same as privates with addition of shoulder straps and chevrons to denote rank. “It is not intended to confine the uniform to members of the company, but to make it a means of distinguishing Simpson’s boys from the vulgus” Young Men’s Christian Association. OFFICERS. President—J. F. Games. Vice-President—E. C. Fintel. Secretary—M. J. Holmes. Corresponding Secretary—Wayne Stahl. Treasurer—J. E. Preston. CHAIRMEN OF COMMITTEES. Devotional—Guy J. Fansher. Membership—John Arnold. Missionary—Jasper Weber. Social—John Horsley. Bible Study—Frank Bean. Lecture Course—C. L. Gose. Handbook—Frank L. Mott. Invitation—Thos. J. Shirley. Mercy and Help—F. M. Yockey. Train—Fred Melick. Information—M. D. Wickard. PllKM ArwU Yotlcy Wi«V.rJ Com !lo!n « Mmi SkipmiB GifRM Skir!«y Fiuri W kcr Hartley Young Women’s Christian Association. OFFICERS. President—Lahuna Clinton. Vice-President—Besse Matson. Secretary—Carrie McFadon. Treasurer—Florence Armstrong. CHAIRMEN OF COMMITTEES. Devotional—Stella Mauk. Social—Ada Lisle. Bible Study—Blanche Spurgeon. Fall Campaign—Ruth Baker. Handbook—Mary Kilburn. Inter-Collegiate—Elizabeth Brown. Evangelical—Lulu Golisch. Lecture Course—Nelle Rea. Membership—Besse Matson. Cbe Stmpeontan. Established in 1870. The official student newspaper of Simpson College, lodianola, Iowa. INDIANOLA. IOWA. MCH. 3. � 9°6 EDITORIAL STAFF. Editor-io-Chicf. - Chester L. Gosb. '06 Business M'g'r. - Forrester Stanlev. '07 Associate Editor. - - Bess Harris. '06 Associate Editor. - Lamuna Clinton. ‘06 Alumnal Editor. Josbphine McClbary. ‘90 Athletic Editor. - - - Roy Worth. 06 Local Editor. - - - - Ray Baird. '07 REPORTING EDITORS. Ada Lisle. '06. Y. W C. A . Vera Ingram 07. Zetaletbean; CoraQuaylc. '06. Alpian; Roy Curtis. '08. Everett; Merrill Holmes. '08. Kalloniao; Belle Colver. Conservatory. David Aldeo, Commercial. Published ever Saturday afternoon durinc the school year by The SixrsORiax Publish!� Associ- ation. Entered at the PostofSco at iDdianola. loses, at lecond-clast matter. Subscription price. St.00 per year if paid before January 1. 190$. on and after that date. St aj. Single copies, five ceote. Present subscriptioni continued until othorwiao ordered and all arrearacea prepaid. A new system of judging ora- tions will never be adopted in Iowa by the present oratorical as- sociation. A cat with a dozen lives could be no more secure his mortalily than is the pr method. For three ye? son’s delegates have business meeting? ation unanime proposed senta t‘ lo- Constitution of the Simpsonian Publish- ing Association. Adopted May, 1905. PREAMBLE: We, the students of Simpson College, believing that all the subscribers of The SIMPSONIAN should have a voice in the affairs of the col- lege paper do adopt and establish the following Constitution: Art. I. Name and Object. Sec. I. This organization shall be called The SIMPSONIAN Publishing Association of Simpson College. Sec. II. The object shall be the publication of The SIMPSONIAN. Art. II. Membership. Sec. I. All students of the college in good and regular standing who are subscribers to The SIMPSONIAN and whose subscription is not in arrears shall be considered members of the Association. Sec. II. Members of The SIMPSONIAN staff shall be considered mem bers ex-officio. Art. III. Officers; Election and Duties. Sec. I. The officers of the Association shall be the Editor-in-Chief and Business Manager of The SIMPSONIAN. They shall serve respectively as President and Secretary-Treasurer of the said Association. Sec. II. The Editor-in-Chief and Business Manager shall be elected on the second Tuesday in May. Their term of office shall be the regular col- lege year next succeeding the year of their election. Sec. II. Any student who shall classify as senior or junior for the year succeeding his or her election and who is a bona fide member of the Associa- tion shall be eligible to the office of Editor-in-Chief or Business Manager of The Simpsonian. Sec. IV. Nominations for Editor-in-Chief and Business Manager shall be made by petition under the following regulations: (a) Each petition shall be signed by at least five members of the Association. (b) Petitions must be presented to the Business Manager of The SIMPSONIAN not later than 12 o’clock noon on the Thursday preceding the day of election. (c) The names of all candidates duly nominated shall be made public through the columns of The SIMPSONIAN in the issue just preceding the day of election. STUDENTS VISIT STAie ieCISt.ATLRC FIRST U'AM W:N5 .|( ..i . : «.in, W. Jl it ' • FROM KIOMIAND PARK ,.1V. , Ocfoiit MllhlanS Park l aMM®� «l� l« L � l NltMon £l « S a to X ‘ TSumiJ� � tiyen.a • 1 lo 0 • Social T.� i«i, Tal'--� Sii i Viai! t 3tlt. Ce -C jl Al- lis 1� !•• Hi.- fa;: i� lc� : sjuif I I-• • •-I'-' ! jli iii--.t ivVt !«cJl |i|j}'ol on lli.- i. Ikuho i} i r V!iC'L'%,oAv9i ilici iir l 1 t'-Ain ■lii.itii HigliW.d F- [fc (ihaniixvi'l� !jit ni tu fcy ■r in. iaf ,-o to .!� ■ 'I3ic p5 j «atroysh ii cxtc'.ry imiki-mISv io tin- jWii • At f. ii! and tiif UW V«-i;’ wliiitie Uy- ;• .ijucnily .coirtifioitj ' ■ .V -.-it-'f x Wl'VSff- •I-0.11 . inmiv V N. I die-) Mudeii: ® do,� ,! oi'tl.c C. i: : KAiiy ill l v:u llio Icit foiiianvU ut S’ %'iyit to ,9yx£'. «■in es i sot wisli Hx ; hOlll.Mi iivytlit ! ■CJty. oAt raj ;«1io ks are icj Auiii, Dratc.( 10 'bo f1 ■'1 triin-'y: SOPMOl IHIP. � ir Ti.-i.UiM 1‘iiii, Pn« TojA'o.vto Sl tll . _ I’Sjafflt� � )- Sr;� ,c. iWVii';' ' rn ttoii- SltAIKHi .Cifvjny ' ’-t ■ � ! IS. ifK-nofiijvfor the y , Ww i l r ... K.i:i-- 5 Soiitn l ... atmi Ejge-ri',-11 dnd; k'. -tr.tr l; M-c II, Tai:io.mi . SkIim-iimC AVl.il.. 1 ,i linn ! a� r A IVmWi S 0lio- rSs’i'ifc v.'cii K|, lUiol.v. (d) In case of failure to nominate for either office The SIMPSONIAN staff shall be empowered to nominate candidates for such office or offices. Sec. V. All elections shall be by ballot. The candidate receiving the highest number of votes shall be declared elected. In case of a tie a special election shall be called within two weeks, notice of which shall appear once in The SIMPSONIAN. The Australian ballot system shall prevail at all elections. Sec. VI. Voting by proxy shall not be allowed at any election. Sec. VII. Clerks of election shall be appointed by the President subject to the approval of the Staff. Sec. VIII. The Editor-in-Chief in conference with the Business Man- ager shall appoint for the ensuing year the remaining members of the staff of The Simpsonian. Sec. IX. Whenever a vacancy occurs in office of Editor-in-Chief or Business manager the remaining staff shall call a special election to fill such vacancy. Vacancies in the staff shall be filled by appointment of the Editor- in-Chief subject to the approval of the staff, to serve until the expiration of the college year. Sec. X. Special meetings shall be called by the President of the Asso- ciation at any time and must be called upon the request of five members of the Association. Notice of all meetings must be published at least once prior to such meeting in The SiMPSONIAN. At any meeting of the Association twenty members shall constitute a quorum. At any meeting in case of the absence of the President of the Association the Secretary shall preside. Art. IV. Officers of Election. Their Duties. Sec. I. The judges of election shall determine upon the eligibility of electors. Sec. II The clerks of election shall receive the ballots, place them in the ballot box, check the names of the voters and decide upon the parties elected. The ballots shall be furnished by the business manager. Art. V. The Financial Affairs of the Publication. Sec. I. The financial responsibility of the publication shall be assumed jointly by the editor-in-chief and business manager. The profits, if any, shall be divided between the editor-in-chief and business manager in such proportion as they may agree upon. Art. VI. Amendments. Proposed amendments to this constitution shall be presented to the Sec- retary of the Association in writing by petition signed by twenty members of the Association. The Secretary shall cause them to be published at least once in The SiMPSONIAN before action is taken by the Association. Amendments shall be voted on at a special election called by the President and shall require a two-thirds vote of those voting for their adoption. Art. VII. 4 This constitution shall take effect immediately upon publication in The Simpsonian. •FRDUIi-TKDU-SHALT‘BE D7 • • •IN-STORY- IT-5HALL-BE-T0LD • HOW T HY 5TURDY 5DH5 • • •FDR '5IMP-5DM • PRE55 • DM • ••• •WITH THE •’RET]•AND G DL D - • S88] Football Season 1905. SEASON 1905. September 30 at Indianola—East Des Moines High School 0; Simpson 1 7. October 7 at Columbia, Mo.—University of Missouri 26; Simpson 0. October 21 at Ames—Iowa State College 63; Simpson 0. October 28 at Indianola—Cornell College 4; Simpson 23. November 24 at Des Moines—Drake University 75 ; Simpson 0. November 10 at Indianola—Central University 0; Simpson 30. November 1 8 at Indianola—Des Moines College 1 7; Simpson 0. November 25 at Grinnell—Iowa College 75; Simpson 0. The Team NAME CLASS POSITION Allen, Jesse 09 sub Auner, Chas. H. Com. center Brown, Chas. W. 09 111 h. Canine, John R. 09 r- g- Craven, Avery 08 quarter Erwin, Hubert 09 I. e. Fintel, Homer 09 1 g- Porterfield, Herbert 09 r. h. Preston, J. Edson 07 h. b. and q. Reynolds, Wm. H. 06 r. t. Shafer, Chester A. 09 1. t. White, Paul A. 07 i; h. White, Raymond E. 08 i-g- Wilson, I. R. 08 f. b. Yockey, F. M. 08 r. e. WEIGHT HEIGHT HOME 163 lbs. 5 ft 1 1 in Casey, la. 184 5 ft 8 in Panora, la. 147 “■ . 5 ft 10 in Indianola, la. 175 44' 5 ft 9 in DeSoto, la. 148 “ 5 ft 11 in Indianola, la. 145 it 5 ft 10 in Indianola, la. 185 44 6 ft Corydon, la. 158 u 5 ft 8 in Indianola, la. 163 44 5 ft 7 in Indianola, la. 615 44 5 ft 10 in Villisca, la. 175 5 ft 1 1 in Diagonal, la. 154 44 5 ft 8 in Indianola, la. 188 6 ft 2 in Indianola, la. 176 44 6 ft Bedford, la. 168 44 5 ft 9 in Atchison, Kan. AGE 19 22 20 20 20 18 23 23 19 21 19 22 21 Baseball Season 1905. April 22 at Indianola—C. C. C. C. 8; Simpson 4. April 28 at Indianola—Still College 1. Simpson 6. May 6 at Indianola—Iowa College 6; Simpson 1. May 10 at Mt. Vernon—Cornell 6; Simpson 3. May 1 7 at Indianola—Western College 3; Simpson 4. May 26 at Indianola—C. C. C. C. 3; Simpson 3. June 2 at Ames—Iowa State College 5 ; Simpson 3. June 7 at Indianola—Alumni 3; Simpson 8. Opponents 35, Simpson 34. Games played 8; lost 4; won 4. VARSITY BASEBALL TEAM ;� � Inter-class Basketball Games. (Boys.) Freshmen (29) Seniors (36) Baylor.................f.............Dusenbery Harris, Osborn.........f.............Gose Porterfield............c.............Arnold Canine (c)........... . . .g........(c) Shaw Schimelfenig...........g.............Carpenter Field goals—Canine 2, Baylor 6, Schimelfenig 1, Shaw 8, Gose 6, Dusenbery 1. Goals from free throw- Canine 8, Shaw 5. Freshmen (9) Senior Preps (11) Baylor......................f........T rowbridge Fred Osborn............f.............Pemble Erwin v.v • • ■...........c........(c) Brown Canine (c).............g.............DeVault Schimelfenig................g........W. Osborn, F. Osborn. Goal from field—Baylor 6, Canine I, Erwin 1,Trowbridge 8, DeVault 4, W. Osborn 3, Pemble 2, Brown 2. Goals from free throw—Baylor 3, W. Osborn 5, Trowbridge 4. Juniors (24) Sophomores (31) Stanley..................g...........Kerney P. White (c).............g...........Buck H. White................c...........Heaton Baird-Preston............f...........Tallman Hale.....................f...........(c) Senseney Goals from field—Baird 4, Hale 2, Stanley 2, H. White 1, Heaton 4, Senseney 4, Tallman 3. Goals from fouls—Senseney 9, Hale 8. Fouls called on Juniors 1 8, Sophomores 23. Juniors (49) Commercials (26) P. White (c)............g............Crowell Stanley.................g.............Baer-Bailey H. White...............c..............Jackson Baird...................f..............(c) Westrope Hale....................f.............Gaskill-Richardson Goals from field—P. White 3, H. White 2, Hale 8, Baird 6, West- rope 1, Bailey 2, Gaskill 2, Jackson 3, Crowell 2. Goals from fouls—Hale 6, Gaskill 6. Fouls called on Juniors 1 3, Commercials 1 2. VARSITY BASKETBALL TEAM (ISO ) Sohomores (39) Seniors (33) Heaton................g............(e) Shaw White-Buck............g............Carpenter Kerney-White..........c............Arnold Tallman................f . , .....Gose Senseney (c)...........f...........Dusenbery Goals from field—Shaw 3, Gose 6, Dusenbery 3, White 5, Buck 2, Heaton 3, Senseney 3, Tallman 4. Goals from fouls—Shaw 3, Senseney 6. Fouls called on Sophomores 1 2, Seniors 1 6. Senior Preps (33) Commercials (22) DeVault................g...........(c) Westrope W. Osborn.............g............Baer Brown (c).............c............Jackson T rowbridge...........f............Richardson Pemble-F. Osborn......f............Crowell Goals from field—DeVault 1, Trowbridge 7, Brown 1, W. Osborn 3, Westrope 1, Crowell I, Jackson 2, Richardson 2. Goals from fouls— Richardson 7, Trowbridge 2, W. Osborn 5. Fouls called on Senior Preps 23, Commercials 24. Sophomores (45) Senior Preps (34) Tallman................f...........Pemble-F. Osborn Senseney (c)..........f............Trowbridge White..................c............ . (c) Brown Heaton................g............DeVault Kerney................g............W. Osborn Goals from field—Tallman 7, Senseney 2, White 5, Heaton 3, Kerney 1, Brown 1, Trowbridge 3, Pemble 1, DeVault 6, W. Osborn 4. Goals from fouls—W. Osborn 3, Senseney 7. Fouls called on Sophomores 10, Senior Preps 1 1. LADIES' VARSITY BASKETBALL TEAM Interclass Basketball Games. (Girls.) Juniors (2) Maxson............ Perkins........... Cornwall.......... Brown (c)......... Baird............. Goals from field—Bowlin Seniors (5) f............(c) Bowlin f............Harris c............Robinson g............Hathaway g............Armstrong Goals from fouls—Perkins 2, Harris 3. Freshmen (9) Sophomores (11) Wilson...................f............(c) Bess Smith Sharp (c)...............f.............Russell (c) .....................f............Russell Moffett..................c............Blanche Smith. Baldwin.................g.............Samson Pierce..................g.............Colver Goals from field—Wilson 2, Sharp 1, Bess Smith 3. Goals from fouls— Sharp 3, Sampson 3. Sophomores (24) Senior Preps (6) Sampson.................g.............(c) Woodle Colver.................g. . ........Potter Blanche Smith..........c.............Pemble Russell................f.............Walker Bess Smith (c).........f..............Brown Goals from field—Bess Smith 9, Walker 2. Goals from fouls—Sam- son 5, Bess Smith 1, Walker 1, Pemble 1. Fouls called on Sophomores 10, Preps 9. Sophomores (7) Seniors (11) Colver......................g........Armstrong Blanch Smith-Silliman . . . g........Hathaway Silliman-Blanch Smith . . . c........Aten Samson......................f........Harris Bess Smith (c)..............f........(c) Bowlin Goals from field—Bess Smith 1, Bowlin 5. Goals from fouls—Samson 3, Harris 1. Fouls called on Sophomores 12, Seniors 12. Senior Preps (2) Seniors (9) Pemble.................f...........(c) Bowlin Walker.................f...........Harris Brown..................c...........Robinson Woodle (c).............g...........Hathaway Fening................ g...........Armstrong Goals from field—Bowlin 1, Harris 3. Goals from fouls—Walker 2, Harris 1. Fouls called on Seniors 15, Senior Preps 8. 08 MEN'S BASKETBALL TEAM (CHAMPIONS) « LADIES' BASKETBALL TEAM (CHAMPION'S) COLLEGE TRACK TEAM (ISOM FEW WORDS MORE, Good Night, Dear Hearts. Good night dear hearts. The darkness now has fallen The stars are shining in a sky of blue; And well I know they shine upon your dwelling And bring to me a memory now of you. There’s not a day, but waking, I remember— And caress you in my heart, tho lips are dumb. There’s not a sunset but I think with gladness It brings me nearer to the loved at home. So I can lay me down to sleep with gladness To wait in peace the coming of the light, Knowing that One will keep us all in safety Until we meet. ’Til then, dear hearts, good night. —Pearl Baldwin. Characterizations. NUMBER ONE. A veritable Euclid. Is wont to console his victims with a “Well, I don’t know what’s the matter with you people. I don’t believe you work. These are not hard.” Rings phone. “Hello. Is this the coal dealer? Yes, we need more coal. We use a great deal now but we must keep the house warm on account of the Baby;” then turns and with one colossal leap into infinity he grasps the missing one-third of the infinite series and returns with the triumphant assertion that it cannot be otherwise. But his dejected follow- ers usually return with a grade of 70. NUMBER TWO. Rara Avis. Genius of the capanile. Hundreds move at the swaying of his hands. Most persistent knocker on the college sidewalks. Carries a per- petual 6x8 grin and blushes at the slightest provocation. NUMBER THREE. The Grand Mogul. One of the outlaws. Has the real Chesterfieldian manner. Impressive bearing; gait a la militaire. Successfully led the Great Simpson Chorus Recital held in Des Moines, Oct. 4. Authentic authority on Debate and Womans’ Rights. Passes up his credits with great ease, little study and never rides Dobbin. NUMBER FOUR. Erstwhile inventor of manly sports. Lives, moves, and has his being in ethereal stratae, makes only an occasional descent “ad vulgum orbem ” laying violent hands upon innocent victims, snatching them in a whirlwind from “terra firma ’ and after various evolutions, in one grand finale dashes them en masse against a geological substratum and leaves them to discover themselves with varied and numerous conditions. H 11 • Cinderella. A FARCE COMEDY IN THREE ACTS Following in the main an old Folk Story with a variation every twice in a while not found in the original. DRAMATIS PERSONAE. The Prince, who afterwards becomes king. Miss Stuckup and Miss Vanity, the haughty sisters who cause Cinderella much grief, but in the end receive their deserts. Mother, mother of the haughty sisters and step-mother to Cinderella. Cinderella, the little cinder maid who afterwards marries the prince. Grandmother, fairy god mother to Cinderella, courtiers, attendants, etc., etc... PROLOGUE. CHORUS. O! for a muse of flames, that would aspire 1 o Sinai’s height, or even ascending higher Should reach the utmost bound of boundless space, And that’s no joke, for jokes are out of place In this, the prologue of our first endeavor I o emulate the trend of Shakespeare’s clever Pen, and tell the striking story Of Cinderella and her rise to glory. Or if too bold a flight I venture on For e’en the muses help, who glads Mt. Helicon, Just let me soar above the thieatening nimbus Of any poets ire who, chance, may scan this: So that I may not need an umbrella While footing o’er the fate of Cinderella. Prav! don’t be too constrict on feet and meter And you’ll acknowledge there is none to beat ’er. So now we humbly beg your kindly patience, Lo! the asbestos rises on the first seance. ACT I. Scene I.—A parlor, mirrors, curling irons, perfumes, etc., etc. Miss Stuckup (before the mirror)—Well, did you ever see anything fit so abominably? Miss Vanity (taking out curl papers)—Never mind, my lady. The Prince won’t have any eyes for you, when he sees me there. S.—Ho, ho, smarty. I suppose you think you will catch his eye with that red hair and pug nose of yours. V.—My hair is not red. It’s a beautiful auburn, and as for my nose, if it turned up half as much as yours, I shouldn’t go a step to the ball tonight. Mother—I here There! Daughters. Least said, soonest mended, as the good book says. The ball begins at nine o’clock and as it is now nearly six you won’t be ready in time if you continue quarreling. S.—All right, Maw. M.—Remember you must look your best at the ball. Perhaps the Prince will get stuck on one of you. S.—That’s me, sure. M.—There’s your father calling. I must leave you now. (Exit Mother.) S.—Wonder what the old man called maw for. V. (mumbling with mouth full of pins)—Don’t know, Sis. O! Stuck- upity, don’t you think our new gowns are perfectly stunning? S.—They surely are peachy and will be quite the swellest thing out. O Van, how are you going to wear your hair—Queen Anne or Pompadour? V.—Don’t know. Here, help me with this pin, will you? There. Wonder if Cinderella’s got those ruffles ironed yet? O Cin! Cin! Where has that wretch gone to? (Cinderella enters.) S.—Hurry up, you brat. Don’t move so slow. Here, help me with my curls. V. (affectedly)—Wouldn’t you like to go to the ball, Cinder? C. (clapping hands)—Wouldn’t I? O couldn’t I go and stand behind the door just to see the people? S.—Wouldn’t that be a joke though? A cinder maid at the Prince’s ball. Ha! Ha! V.—Well, I guess, we’re ready. Light the lantern, jade, and call the coachman. S.—And then back to your ashes at once, creature. Come, Sis. (Exeunt pompously with much rustling of skirts.) CURTAIN. Scene II.—A dreary fire place in the kitchen. Cinderella crying in corner. C. (sobbing)—O my, O dear. How can I— How shall I— Grandmother (appearing suddenly, wand in hand)—What s the matter Cinderella? C. (sobbing)—I wish— I wish— G.—You wish to go to the ball, do you not? C. (sighing) —Y-e-e-s. G.—Very well. Be a good girl and you shall. We’ll get even with those two heartless flirts. Run to the garden. Cinder dear, and fetch me a pumpkin. (Cinderella dries her tears; runs out smiling and returns with large yellow pumpkin.) G.— I u ne quaeseris scire nefas, mullum in parvo, e pluribus unum (touching pumpkin with wand. It changes to a grand golden coach), This is your coach, dear. Now for the horses. Let’s look in the mouse trap. C.—O, Granny, there are six mice in it. G.—Open it, child (She claps hands and the mice change to coach horses). But what shall we do for a coachman? C.—Perhaps there is a rat in the trap. Will a rat do? G.—We’ll make him do, dear. (Cinderella brings trap with three rats in it. Grandmother changes them into a coachman and footmen.) C.—But this sooty dress, Granny, must I go in this? G.—No, gracious no, child. (Touches Cinderella with wand. Her ragged dress changes to beautiful silk gown, pearls in her hair, glass slippers on her feet.) C.—O goody! goody! How lovely my skirt rustles! What pretty slippers! G.—Now go to the ball, Cinderella, but don’t stay later than midnight. Run when the clock strikes twelve or you’ll find yourself in rags as before. C.—All right, Granny. I’ll remember. (Drives off to ball.) CURTAIN. SCENE III.—Ball room. Brilliant decorations, orchestra, dancing, etc. Prince—Well (languidly) these balls are getting to be quite a bore. King—Why, my boy, you surprise me. Ginger up and join the dance. Prince—Always the same old crowd. (To courtier) Say, old pal, did you hear the jester’s latest definition for a reception? No? Well, he said it was go, gabble, giggle, gobble, git. (Page enters. ) Page—Your highness, a great princess has just arrived. Her carriage waits at the door. P.—Ah! The plot thickens. Who can it be? We will go at once and lend a royal hand. (Prince hurries out, hands Cinderella from the coach and leads her to the ball room. Dancers stare.) P.—Dear princess, our court is highly honored with your presence. C. (with animation)—O! don’t mention it, prince. (They promenade.) P.—We haven’t seen vou at court before. Are you often out ? C.—Yes, indeed (aside) in the kitchen. (They dance and dine.) Several.—How beautiful she is! Miss S.—These balls make me weary. Mis V.—The prince has a case on sure. Just my luck, confound it. P.—Dear princess, I have but one desire. C.—Don’t be bashful, prince. Name it. P•—That my breast were of the the same material as your slippers. C.—And why, forsooth. P.—That you might read my heart. C.—Dear prince, how would a pane in the stomach do? (Crescendo by the orchestra. Midnight approaches. Cinderella rises to go.) C.—Farewell, dear prince, for the present. P.—O! why so soon? Stay awhile, do. C.—With your kind leave. (She bows and hurries out just as the clock strikes twelve.) P.— There! by gad, sir! she’s vanished quite out of sight. Well, let’s hope she’ll return again tomorrow night. CURTAIN. ACT II. SCENE I.—Kitchen as before. C. (corning in out of breath)—Wasn’t it just scrumptious! G. (suddenly appearing)—Hoighty tcity, child. How well you look! C.—Just had a perfectly lovely time. Granny. Thanks, ever so much, to you. The prince was perfectly stunning. G.—I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Cinder, dear. C.—May I go again tomrrow night? The prince urged me to. G. (smilingly)—We’ll see. Did you sec your two loving sisters there? Ah! here they come. Be a good child and the fairies won’t forget you. Good night. (Exit fairy.) (Enter the Misses S. and V.) C.—How late you are! V.—If you’d been there, hussy, you’d know why we’re late. S.—There was a great princess there, who divided honors with us. We were the center of attraction. C.—What was her name? V.—Nobody knows. S.—The prince would give half his kingdom to know. V.—He would dance with no one but us after she had gone. C. (slilv)—Was she so very beautiful? I wish I could have seen her. I wish I could go tomorrow night. S.—A pretty idea indeed! Cinder maids and cooks are not wanted. V.—Sweep the room and set the table for morning, jade. We’re go m3 to bed. (Exeunt.) C.—Ha! Ha! How very complimentary my dear sisters are! But let ’em look out! ’Ere long the tables may be turned about! CURTAIN. Scene II.—Ball room. Prince—Now the time draws near For my vision to appear. Ah! she comes. (Enter Cinderella.) Prince (hurrying to her)—Minutes have seemed hours since last we met. C.—But don’t let that your royal highness fret P.—My heart had almost stopped its flutter, Nor could I eat my bread and butler. C.—Ah! Prince, I fear you greatly flatter; It makes my heart go pitty, patter. P. (kneeling)—I offer you my crown and fame, My sovereignty and royal name. C. (aside)—This is so sudden! (to prince)—Can this be true? but, prince, it cannot be. Too sure it is, you don’t know who I am. (Twelve o’clock strikes. C. runs.) P.—There now she’s gone, but here she’s left her slipper. We’ll find her out by this, by the great horned spoon and Little Dipper. CURTAIN. ACT III. Scene I.—Kitchen. Miss V. (at breakfast table—en deshabille)—Some more cakes, creature (to Cinderella). Mother—Hurry up Cinder, don’t keep us waiting. Miss S.—Here, some hot coffee too. (Snapping fingers.) Be lively now! (Exit Cinderella.) M.—My, what a temper! The ball must not have agreed with you. (Enter Cinderella with cakes.) S.— That nervy princess was there again. V.—She departed at twelve and in such a hurry she left a slipper behind. M.—What of that? V.—Why, the Prince did nothing but look at it the rest of the evening. C. (aside)—So glad to know it, sister dear. Ha! Ha! Isn’t this fun for me though? CURTAIN. SCENE II.—Street. (Enter Courier ringing bell.) Courier.—To all his loyal subjects the Prince sends greeting. Be it known that at the late grand ball a dainty shoe was found. Now comes the Prince and maketh proclamation that he will wed the maid whose foot the shoe will fit. Then tremble all ye maidens with big feet, .... Rejoice, ye nymphs, of slender foot and ankle neat! Done at the palace this—(Passes out ringing bell.) SCENE III.—Cinderella’s home. Miss S.—O man, what news! what thrilling news? Heavens! what is the number of my shoes? V.—O my! my feet are surely not the size To fit that shoe, but where’s a vice? And I’ll reduce them in a trice. Perhaps I’ll win a home and cap the prize. Mother—Here comes the Prince to try the slipper. My daughters, look your best. Cinderella, get out, he won’t want you. (Exit Cinderella.) (Enter Prince, and tries slipper on daughters who try to force foot into it, finally give it up.) P.—But, Madame, haven’t you another daughter? M.—Just Cinderella, who cooks and sweeps and fetches water. P.—Go bring her in. (Cinderella enters.) Ah! methinks I recognize those heavenly features But how comes she among these stuck-up creatures. (He tries the shoe on Cinderella, it fits like wax.) Astonishment among the sisters. (Cinderella takes the other shoe from pocket and puts it on.) S.—The minx. P.—Hold! none of that, my lady. Behold the princess royal. Henceforth you will bow down to her. No more shall she be subject to your jeers and harsh commands. Grandmother (suddenly appearing)—Hurrah! Cinderella! It’s all turned out happily at last as I promised. Long live the future king and queen. Courtiers—All Hail. Bon zai for Cinderella. CURTAIN. EPILOGUE. V CHORUS. Thus far with rough and all unable pen. Your author has pursued this little story. Pray do not think of what it might have been If one, who long since trod the path to glory. Had scratched his head and pushed a willing quill, To tell the fortunes of my Cinderella. But kindly credit for the deed, the will. And overlook the leather and prunella. And now we’ve reached the shining goal together, Of Cinderella’s fortunes, clear and bright, So with a loud farewell our ties we’ll sever And wish you all a very kind “good night.’’ —John A. Nye, Drama Class, 1905. CAMPUS IN SPRING A Collection of Speeches by Pres. Shelton. “My dearly beloved, do not eat up our registrar. I would kick you out but he is too tender-hearted.” “We like little speeches and are always done good.” “You ought never to use tobacco. You ought to try your, very best to overcome such a harmless and useless habit.” “Henry VIII hung them by the neck until they were dead—very dead.” (Speaking of a king’s death) “He got a cold chop in place of a hot steak.” “Don’t you make faces at me that way ” “That hand with the blue sleeve may recite.” “I want to say a few words before I begin to talk.” The train leaves Dcs Moines at 4.30. Please note that, Mr. Hale.” “He offered to divvy with the king—I beg your pardon.” NURSERY RHYMES ’A LA LEACH. Huzza! Huzza! The feline domestic animal and the Stradivarian musical instrument. The milky maternal parent vaulted the lunar orb. Which athletic feat affected the risibilities of the diminutive caninity. And the porcelain pottery eloped with the “demitassey” Diminutive John Knobby Reclined in a triangular section of a compartment of an architectural edifice. Masticating a Christmas pastry compound: He inserted his first digit. And extracted a plumule therefrom And sagely remarked, “Certainly I am a very proper youth.” ALL PUNS ARE ODIOUS. i “Why does Roy Robbins like to hear of a house afire?” “So he can see the Walburn.” There was a young man they called Pryor And you never saw anyone spryor He said, “Well I guess I’d like to take Buess, So I think I’ll go right now and tryor. CAMPUS IN SUMMER The Case of Young Adolphus and His Lady Love. Adolphus and his lieblich maid Were very malheureux. Amabunt, yet the stubborn man Non poterat dicere. He thought that men the whole world o’er Need not to say the same,— Just merely this “Ich lieDe dich,” Or simply “Je vous aime” II pense that to a parthenus So pulchra and cale. He ought by some maniere trouver Something nouveau to sav. While pondering thus in anima Ucon a morgen schon Adolphus steamed his auto up And started down the lane. Accidit ut, while on they sped Cum great raoidite Un arbre stood beside the road In close proximity. Then, tout a conp, their traumerie Was rudely cut in twain. For they were riding auf der Baum Instead of in the lane. Adolphus, aner, agathos Rescued the puella And cried, as the auto s’en allait “Asphalizometha! ” The pauvre madchen sat forlorn Upon the topmost limb And saeva fortune did bemoan With very traurig stimme. Adolphus sapien then said “Ere I vous aidera, O rromitte that du wirst sein My own et propria.” Then auickiv did the maiden say With tearful voix and eye. And outstreched hands those sweetest words, “Oui, hypischneomai.” Then oicade they made their way Glucklichen as could be, And still in their petite maison Live semper beati. CAMPUS IN AUTUMN Jokes HAD HE BEEN BOWLIN’? Prof. Tilton (to Biology class after their trip) “And'what did you see, Mr. Stuart?” Paul—“Ferns, principally.” POOR FELLOW! Miss Bentley—“What physical calamity befell Milton in his later life?” Student—“He got married.” PROFESSIONALISM IN ATHLETICS. Miss Bentley—“Some might think that Milton has cast reflections on sports by having them carried on by the spirits in hell.” H. White—“But then they learned them in heaven.” Reynolds (aside)—“And when they went to hell they developed profes- sionalism.” LUCKY STUDENT! Student (in Greek)—“I can’t read any farther.” Prof. Griffith—“That is sufficient.” BIBLE STUDENTS. Student (to Dove)—“Are you the dove that Noah let out of the ark?” Dove—“Are you the ass that spoke to Balaam?” WHEN DOES THE TEN-THIRTY TRAIN LEAVE? Student (to canvasser for the Zenith)—“What is the Zenith?” “It is the college annual.” “Is it published monthly?” DeVault (prophesying the effect of Rev. Porter’s sermon on hymns) — “If he talks about hymns there will be lots of hers there.” Dr. Hamilton (assigning numbers in Bible class)—“Miss Dudley, you are just fourteen.” New Student (seeing Shipman’s Epworth League badge)—“E. L.— does that stand for Everett Literary?” CAMPUS IN WINTER If I Should Die Tonight. If I should die tonight And you should come to my cold corpse and stand, Smoothing my furrowed brow with gentle hand— If I should die tonight, And you should stoop and whisper in my ear— “The wires are down. The campus paths are clear,” 1 might unloose Death’s subtle grasp And rise again. If I should die tonight And you should come to my cold corpse and weep. As I lay clasped in death’s eternal sleep— If I should die tonight, And you should say, “As I caire o’er the campus fair, I saw one flower within the flower beds there,” I’d merely smile up in your face benign. And feel quite sure “ ’Twas but a dandelion.” Watson (telling story of Anabasis)—“In this battle all were either killed or slain.” Hale (In English History)—“Henry IV was rather conservatory in his policy.’ Melick (After flunking in Public Speaking)—“Professor, I believe the air is bad in here.” Dr. Hamilton (in an argument in Law)—“Mr. Reynolds, do you think Hepburn is an angeD” Reynolds—“No, he’s a Congressman.” Hale (in English History)—“He was also hindered by his death.” Student (To Miss Bentley)—“Do all the members of the drama class have to write Shakespearean plays?” A coach by the name of Bartell Took his basketball team to Grinnell But the floor was so slick Their feet wouldn’t stick And that’s why they skinned us like blazes. A GROUP OF STUDENTS' ROOMS Three Men and Some Burnsides. A STORY. ! HE old Prex had gone to Europe like many another college presi- dent before him, and a new Prexy had been chosen to reign in his stead. Now while old Prex was sailing in peaceful content on the Bay of Biscay or shedding his tribute of tears over the graves of Virgil and Caesar, and before the new Prex had yet assumed the duties and tribulations of his office, three men of one mind chanced to meet on a street corner of a Saturday morning. One wore upon the posterior portion of his head a red cap. A red sweater adorned the person of the second, and the third had red hair. Now just as these three were gathered together, there passed by on the opposite side of the street a tall young man of a jaunty air and a struggling pair of burn- sides, whistling, “And the wind blew through his whiskers.” Then it de- veloped that the three who met on the corner were bound together not only by ties of color but also by a common opinion, which was voiced by him of the cap. “I always feel sorry for a cripple or a man with a boil on his neck, because those things come to a man without any fault of his own, and the same way with a bald man, but a man with burnsides hasn’t got anybody under the sun he can lay the blame onto but himself, hey?” “Now you’re talkin’, head,” exclaimed he of the sweater. “Go after ’em, That’s right!” “Say,” interjected the crimson haired one, whose name was “Red” “I don’t believe it’s healthy for a man to wear fuzz like that on his face. Germs are just lookin’ round all the time for nestin’ places like that.” Now you must know that Red was a medic. “Right you are,” said the red-capped one. “And I believe it would be a durn religious act to shear off every hair that gets over a quarter of an inch long, don’t you?” A substantial grin began to pervade the faces of the three, for they all had an idea. “But would it be necessary to use shears?” asked the man with the sweater. His name, by the way, was Adolphus, always shortened to “Dolly;” and he was left tackle on the football team, though some said he was too good for such a dinky school. “Wouldn’t a good stiff clothes- brush take ’em off?” And there was a peculiar twinkle in his left eye. “Clothes-brush nothin’ ” exclaimed Red. “Just hold him up against a good strong wind and it’ll blow those little fibrous particles off his epidermis.” “Tell you what” said the fellow in the red cap—and he spoke so loudly -in his excitement that a little dog which was just passing them at a comfortable trot stopped and looked up with an interested expression. Now the red-capped man’s name was “Head” presumably because he was long on head-work when it came to flunking without letting the teacher know it; and he said, “Tell you what fellows, let’s kidnap old Kuntz and shave those whiskers—and let’s do it tonight. Let’s do ’er before the new Prex gets here and save trouble and maybe special ex’s.” “Good work, head, I’m your man’’ said one, and “I’m in’’ said the other, and all three laughed in fiendish glee. And over among the ruins of the Coliseum mused old Prexy, all unsus- pecting of the plot among his lambs at home. And on the train speeding to the little college town came the new Prex. And he wore burnsides on either cheek. II. It was on a gloomy corner of the campus that the three again fore- gathered. Head still wore his red cap, old Dolly had not discarded his red sweater, nor had Red disposed of his crimson hair, which shone like “a lamp amid the darkness.’’ For it was dark—dark as pitch. The boys talked in low, excited whisperings and scanned closely each passer-by. “He wears a long black overcoat and a stiff hat, mostly’’ whispered Head. “He surely ought to be coming home from that postoffice pretty soon.’’ “Oh, he’s stopped at the barber shop to get some Hair Vigor’’ said Red. “He’ll be along in a few minutes.’’ Then suddenly he clutched Dolly’s arm. “Here he comes!’’ he whispered excitedly. They all strained their eyes as Red pointed and saw, walking along jauntily enough, a tall figure in a long black overcoat and stiff hat. Just as the figure reached a place opposite their hiding place our three messengers of vengeance came down even as the “Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold.’’ Not a sound did they make, nor did the victim utter anything but a struggling squawk as they stuffed a handkerchief in his mouth and bound a ready towel about his head to keep the gag in place. So quickly was it done that the man in the long overcoat forgot to struggle till he was well bound and carried half way down a long alley. Indeed their dexterity was remark- able—did it betoken experience? But when the victim fairly realized the indignity he was suffering, he began to protest. Now it is difficult for half a dozen people to carry a kicking man, especially if he is tall, but for three it is a Herculean task. Yet our three were equal to the emergency. Dolly had Herculean strength, anyway; Head had the pluck that can do anything; and the third—well, he had red hair. So, in spite of very vigorous protests, the boys soon had their man in the basement of Dolly’s frat house, where were razors, lots of shaving soap, and a whole tub full of water. Laying the victim on the cellar floor, his face swathed in the towel, the boys got busy. Dolly lit a candle and Red made a mug full of lather, and then stooped over the man and covered that part of his face not already muffled by the towel with the lathery foam. “It’s too bad, Kuntz, it’s too bad,” said he consolingly. “Yes, it’s barbarous,” agreed Red, lustily stropping the razor. “All these months of hair culture for nothing!” “Turn you head just a little this way, please. Now smile a little,” advised Head as he squatted, razor in hand, over the man, who was struggling and straining at his bonds. “Hold still or I may get an ear as well as the little fuzzy-wuzzies.” Head was surely enacting the part of a barber under difficulties. His shave would not keep still but kept twisting at the cords which bound him. At last Red, who with Dolly had been watching the operation intently, drew a long breath and said, “Weep now, Dolly, for the glory and pride of the college is gone. Half of Kuntz’s whiskers are no more.” Just then Head suddenly jerked the razor away from the victim’s face and nearly tumbled over backward, for a hand had shot out toward him. At the same time the man’s feet burst the ropes—alas, too hastily tied— and in less than an instant the erstwhile victim rose, grasping a razor in his left hand and with his right dealt old Dolly a savage blow that sent him over backward into the tub of water with a piercing cry of “Murder!’’ Head fled. So did Red............. In a moment, down the stairs into the basement came the occupants of the house. “What in the dickens!’’ cried one, and struck a match. “W’y ifit isn’t old Dolly!’’ exclaimed another as old Dolly rose sputter- ing and coughing from the tub. “Been takin’ a bath, mate?’’ Dolly looked about him dazedly. “Where in the deuce did he go?’’ he asked. Then one of the rescuers spied the other two. “Hello, Red!’’ and then in a chorus of surprise, “W’y if that ain’t old Head!” But all Dolly could say was, “Where in the deuce did he go?” “What you been doin’ ?” asked one of the boys from the house eagerly. “Calm down and tell us about it quick.” “Oh, we’ve been a-shavin ol’ Kuntz” explained Red. “Kuntz! It wasn’t Kuntz!” exclaimed Head. “Did you hear him cuss? He pulled that gag out of his mouth and cussed like a Dago! Would old Y. M. Kuntz cuss like that?” “Kuntz! It wasn’t Kuntz!” echoed Dolly. “Kuntz couldn’t a’keeled me over like that. It wasn’t Kuntz!” “Well who in thunder was it?” demanded one of the rescuers, who stood around with unsympathetic grins on their faces. “Darned if I know,” said Dolly. About half after ten that Saturday night a young man in a long black overcoat, with only one side-burn, and the upper part of his face covered with dried lather, entered a down town barber shop. He refused to say anything in answer to sympathetic inquiries. After he had left, the man who answered the barber’s “Next!” asked who the stranger was. “Dr. Haynes, the new president of the college,” said the barber. “Been tryin’ to shave off his burnsides, I guess. A man ain’t no business tryin’ to shave hisself.” ¥¥¥¥ ¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥ Ye;, the boys got called up on the carpet of course. Yet there were no suspensions. Perhaps they agreed to compromise—the president to let the boys off if they wouldn’t tell anyone how their new Prex could cuss. But the boys thought they’d had a close shave—and the new Prex knew he had; so perhaps they agreed to call it square. And Kuntz’s burnsides have grown an eighth of an inch in the last five months. Geology. If memories all should flee away Of college sports and fun. When I have left old Simpson’s halls And college days are done, Still there must linger in my mind, l ime cannot steal from me The thoughts of all the hours I spent With that Geology. In its pursuit I wandered far With hammer in my hand, Knocking the landscape into chunks; (’Twas at the prof’s command) Tramped miles and miles and miles and miles t hru mud and then thru clay, Catching more fossils on my shoes Than any other way; Read scores and scores of dull old books, Wrote numerous papers too, Trying to tell in rocky terms The little that I knew; And delved in realms of theories Read Darwin thru and thru, ’Til almost everything seemed false, And life itself untrue; Spent long, long hours in vain essay Distracting names to learn, Like macrotaeniopteris. And felices, for fern. But just one relic I have saved. From all of this debris. A charm my labors to repay A meagre “73.” Y V 'S Samantha at Simpson. had long been the ardent desire of my worthy pardner and me to take a tower to Simpson College. Matthew Simpson, good old creetur, had no idee of the far-reachin influence of his noble deed, reachin from Dan to Beersheby, or from Jones- ville to Zoar or mebbe a little further. In them days colleges wuzn’t plenty. He might have built a barn or a meetin-house. But no, the good old soul reared up a college for the instruction of youth, and his deed has brought forth the fruit of knowledge and genius. Not sour and puckery fruit but juicy and mellow as the astrachon apples that ripen down by the waterin trough But I must not soar. As I said, we wus bent on a tower to Simpson. Our Thos. J’s oldest daughter Samanthy Loreen wuz attending college and she wuz most anxious to show her grandpa and grandma (they think a sight of us, do Thos. J. and Tirzah Ann’s children) the sites of the city and the seat of learnin. So I packed by best alpacy and put in a clean shirt for Josiah and a pair of shoes as I knew the ones he wuz wearin wuz fearful on his corns, and we sot sail. We arrived at Indianola just after Phoebus wagon had rattled over the last hill, and the sun had gin his last backward bow to the smilin earth. We had no time for sight-seein that night as Josiah wuz tired and some- what scorfin of the hull trip. Samanthy Loreen said she would show us over the buildins in the mornin. “And oh‘ Grandpa Josiah,” says she (she calls him that—soft little critter) “You must go and see the great contest on the diamond,” says she. “Samanthy,” says he after Samanthy Loreen had left us, “Let’s go to this diamond party. Mebbe I can get one for my shirt front,” says he. “I would love to have one.” Says I in middlin cold axcents, “What use would a diamond be to you? You, a class leader and a grandfather, to think of such a thing.” “But” says he, kind o’ simperin “It would be so fashionable.” I saw he was firm and inwardly I sithed and gin three groans. It was a lovely mornin when Samanthy Loreen showed us over the buildins and campus, as she called it, though it didn’t look to me as though anyone had camped on it lately. It wuz a fair seen. But Josiah kept fidgetin and finally asked Samanthy L. when them diamonds wuz a goin to be gin out. “Diamonds?” says she. “Yes, those diamonds that wuz a goin to be contested for” says he. “Why Grandpa Josiah” says she laughin and shakin her pretty head. There are no diamonds. It is a baseball game to be played this afternoon.” My beloved pardner said no more but I could see he wuz dreadful disappointed. He had set his heart on bein fashionable. Well, after dinner we sot out, and anon or a little later came to an open pasture about the size of our wood lot at Jonesville, where Samanthy L. said the game wuz to be played. It wuz a very fair seen. The pasture, or field, as Samanthy L. called it wuz full of people all in gay colors a-wavin ribbons and flourishin funnels. “For lands sake, Samanthy L.” says I “what are them funnels for?” “Why, Grandma, those are megaphones that they talk through,” says she. What a nice sweet girl would want to talk through one of them things for, I couldn’t see but I held my peace. I wuz musin on the seen when I heard wild yells like when Ezra Bulch’s barn burned down, only louder and more voyalent. I didn’t see the fire but I yelled with the rest till Samanthy L. pulled me back and said they wuz only cheerin the team. I didn’t see any team except a span of frightful, hombly lookin mules that wuz a-passin, but then those college folks are so queer. While they wuz cheerin the mules a set of young men in red shirts and d:rty trousers had come onto the field. I felt real sorry for em, it must have been such a trial for them to come to the game in such old clothes. Some looked like their mas rright a’ made em of old comforts or mebbe bed-quilts, i pitied em and mean to send some of Josiah’s and Thos. J.’s old clothes up for em. If they wuz patched they would look real well. Then somebody said in loud axents, “Play ball!” Then they threw a ball right at one of them poor boys, but he hit it with a club and then started to run. They let him go and then started to strike another poor hombly clad fellow. Then I wuz startled by my companion hollerin, “Don’t you throw at that poor boy again!” and saw him makin for the man that wuz throwin the ball. I felt proud of my pardner, but fearin for his welfare as the other man wuz of nobler proportions than him, I advanced onto the seen of action and besought him to be calm. “I won’t be calm!” he sez, but just then the man explained that it wuz all in the game, and I retired with Josiah after some talk. The crowd begun to yell at one poor boy who wuz tryin to get away from another boy chasin him and I wuz indeed filled with horror to hear them yell “In on your head! In on your head!” Wuz their minds arranged? Had they gone into spasmodics? If that boy would walk or even roll in on his head he would be no more. As he paused where me and my beloved pardner stood, I laid my hand on his shoulder and said in mild but firm axents “Young man, heed not their mad cries! You can’t navigate on your I head! Heed my warning before it is too late!” But he shook off my hand and rushed on as his pursuers wuz close behind him. Oh, how often the impetuous spirit of youth shakes off the hand of Wisdom which anon begone it to forsake the paths of danger! And how can it resist it? Who can say? I can’t and Josiah can’t. I wuz roused from my soarin emotions by the voice of my beloved pard- ner, and lookin round with the quick eye of love beheld him lying prone and flat on the ground with his foot in his hands and a look of awful anger and agony on his liniments. Even in that awful moment I addressed him in those words that have so often soothed and quelled him, ‘‘Josiah, do be calm!” ‘‘Oh, my foot,” he moaned. ‘‘Josiah, what have you done now?” ‘‘Dumb their dumb picters! I didn’t come here to be murdered in cold blood, dumb em!” And again I besought him to be calm. When his pain was somewhat recuperated, etcetery, I learned that the ball had struck him on his tenderest corn. Oh, the agony of his sufferin! Sez I in dignified axents to Samanthy L. ‘‘We will leave immegately and to once.” Which we did, she, good little creetur, goin with us, and between us we bore him from the field, as the poets say. We spent some time a-visitin other seens of interest with Samanthy L. of which more will be anon, but we saw no more contests on the diamond. I have seen enough and so has Josiah. —Pearl Baldwin. ZC. ■S-4- A- -Q- 'o VL v s. � -t My Road. There’s a road that winds and winds and winds Between me and the sun. And I hopelessly long to be he who finds On his journey this course to run. Does it lead to the mountains or level plain. Or on and on to the sea? Are its borders helds of thriving grain, Or Spring’s white anemone? I may not travel on yonder road, But must daily sit at rest. And long for the touch of a heavy load. And the traveler’s tiresome quest. There’s a ray of light that shines adown Between me and the moon. And I scorn the twinkling lights of the town. And the beetle’s drowsy tune. Does the moonbeam lead to the stars above, l o the fathomless blue of the sky. Or better still to the God of Love And Hope that will not die? Ah! I cannot follow that other way Alas! yet ’tis best for me That my long journey day by day Be the road to Eternity. — Katherine Rehkopf. Humorosities. THOUGHT IT WAS ANOTHER GEOLOGY TRIP. Prex talks in chapel about visiting the General Assembly. Ed. Fintel (to his neighbor)—“Where is that?” EIGHT DAYS IN THE WEEK. He was asking her when he might come again. “Well, let me see. Tonight is Saturday, and the next night—is Sunday afternoon, isn’t it?’’ Such is life in a co-educational institution. M V SQUARE OVER R! After the Drake game Prof. T. called on Paul White who was confined with a broken ankle. Paul did not understand how the accident could occur in an open play. “Oh, but you must remember, Mr. White,’’ said the professor “that you were struck by a force equal to M V squaah ovah Ah! THE NIGHT AFTER THANKSGIVING. Once upon a midnight skeery did my stomach weak and weary Wrestle with the fullness of the feast the day before. It had roused me from my dreaming, I had woke most loudly screaming My brain with nightmares teeming, as I rolled off on the floor. ’Twas that turkey I’d devoured the day before. Yes, ’twas that and something more. Ah! distinctly I remember, it was in the bare November, Just four days and drear December with its Xmas as of yore. And the painful recollection of that turkey crowned refection With dyspeptical confection, came to me as I did roar. Turkey dinner? NEVERMORE. W. S. The student gave a scream of pain, Eponentials had turned his brain. He firmly grasped his aching head, Wishing the while that he were dead. And muttered, “Prof., which shall it be, Factorial ‘X’ or square of ‘E’?” P. B. I Dreamed of a Fragrant Garden 1 dreamed of a fragrant garden. Of roses, wondrous fair. And I crushed the dewy violet That lurked on my pathway there. I dreamed of the ocean’s billows, And longed for the tossing sea, And I passed by, all unheeding. The brooklet which rippled for me. I dreamed of power and pleasure, Of pomp with lordly sway, And did not notice Friendship As she sadly stole away. Then one day I awakened. My vagrant fancies sped; I sought in vain for flower and brook, For friends and love, all fled. Sophomore Society. (Organized January 6 1906.) CHARTER MEMBERS. Elizabeth Harris, ’06, Ruth E. Baker, ’07, Pearl Hathaway, ’06, Paul A. White, ’07, Roy Worth, ’06, John Dunn Martin, ’07. SENIORS. Ada Lisle, C. Boyd Stevenson, Verne D. Dusenbery, Chester L. Gose. Nelle Rea, Bess Baird, JUNIORS. Eunora Maxson, Earl M. Hale. I • Humorosities. “All drill at Simpson is divided into two parts; Military drill and Sidewalk drill.” Miss Mow (translating German)—“The angels flapped their wings.” Miss S—“Mr. Shaw, translate ‘II sept heures, et jai faim.’ ” Mr. Shaw—“It is seven o’clock and I have a wife.” Miss S. says she drinks water to squelch her thirst. Lorelei. A Metrical (?) Translation from the German. I know not what can the matter be There is so much that troubles me A tale of old, and that is all— Its meaning I do not recall. Cool air, and sun has ceased to shine Motionless the waves upon the Rhine; Above glitter the mountain peaks. I he setting sun shines through in streaks. The Jungfrau is too high to climb She’s wonderful, splendid, bleak, sublime. Lorelei’s jewels in the twilight glitter While in the breeze her locks they flitter. She combs her hair with a golden comb And sings a hymn of her future home. It is a melody sweet, splendid and fine Which echoes o’er woodland hill and pine. The sailorboy in his little boat Listens to this melodious note He thinketh not of dangerous rocks. His feet are wet within his socks. I fear the waves will him devour For he gazes upward by the hour. And this the song of Lorelei did For soon the waves swallowed up the kid. —Perpetrated by G. A. M. SNAP SHOTS Humorosities. From a Bible Ex—Ishmael was one of the good old women of the Bible.” Johnson (after his suspension)—‘‘Well, I’m not going to get reinstated until after Scientific Association anyway.” Miss Hunting—‘‘Have you ever read ‘‘Sartor Resartus,’ Johnson’s novel?” Miss C to Shipman as he is putting on his overshoes—‘‘Are you em- barking?” Mather dreamed one night that his watch was gone. The dream made such an impression on him that he began to look for it and found it going. Miss Bentley (Reading from Henry IV. as Reynolds enters)—‘‘By the mass, here comes Bardolph!” ‘‘Fellow Everetts—Please excuse my fines for this evening, for I must go down town to take a treatment for my present ailment.” Mch. 9th. John F. Arnold.” Pres. Reynolds (in Ki Yi meeting)—‘‘Mr. Fintel is fined 25 cents for leaving the room without permission.” (Homer Fintel is discovered fast asleep in the rear of the room.) Miss M—‘‘I would like to engage in home missionary work among men, but I find that the boys always insist on loving me instead of the Lord.” Prof. Marsh—‘‘You’ve got a voice that sounds like thunder.” M iss Steyer—‘‘Now if I had been in her place I would never have thought of marrying a man below me. I would look on him as I would look at a chair.” Prof. Miller (reading Bible in chapel)—‘‘Hear, ye children the advice of a father.” Grafting is getting a strong hold at Simpson. It is said that Moffett and Arnold swipe the hooks off the hat racks in the halls and sell them at five cents apiece—and then scrap over the extra half cent. Stahl (to Bess Smith after paying his lab fee)—‘‘If I were a lady I would be copiously weeping.” There was a young lady named Perkins Who stuffed herself so full of gherkins That she rolled on her bed And wished she was dead For she’d pickled her internal workins. SNAP SHOTS Humorosities. LABOR BUREAU DOES RUSHING BUSINESS. Paul S.—“Are you head of the Employment Bureau, Had?” Flint—“Yes, what do you want?” Paulie—I’m after a girl. You see I haven’t anybody to take to the lecture tonight, and—” Had—“Joke! He! He!” WOULD MAKE A GOOD MEPHISTO. Scene the chapel. George Magel, seated on the radiator. Enter Commercial, who seats himself beside George. Com. “Ouch!” Schlitz. “What’s the matter?” Com. “Say, that iron’s hot. What on earth are you made of!” Schlitz (meditatively) “Asbestos.” Prof. Read—“You couldn’t have got me to make this speech this morning four years ago.” There once was a grafter named Arnold LINES ON FINISHING CAESAR. The Latin band now waves its hand, A smile lights up each eye; One farewell look at Caesar’s book. And then the glad “Good-bye.” � O Caesar Great, in martial state You chased us hard last fall; This winter term you’ve made us squirm, In “Hunting” over Gaul. —W. S. Not young—though he wasn’t so darn-old He said every good dresser Vould buy his pants presser You would think it was great, from what John told. There was a young fiddler—Dan Bonus Who said of his culture he’d loan us When he went to Chicago ‘Twas with joy we him saw go. But he said when he got there he’d phone us. SNAP SHOTS THE GRAFTERS, OR HOW SIMPSON PEOPLE SPEND THEIR VACATIONS; being a collection of those articles of commerce vended during the long and dreary summer months by the sons and daughters of Simpson. ffcULTr OPEL ftOLL — FEB jlfflRY- 9o6 £ 5 6 7 jz. 2 Z3 Ut A $ 7 2c z.t 23 zc 27 Z8 Tec. CO a a a a a. a Ck Ck CL CL V o.xx ' .Y cm Ok a. a_ vl ✓ T VY o r A o CA CM a a a a cx a a CL Co a a a. a, CL CL CL. nJ co O a- W VLW C. TV C CL o ✓ ToVA g-fr ooO a_ 60 Cm CL CL CL Y lsE . CL, a. a a x a- a. a CL a. CL CL a a CL i a a ✓ r a a CM cx a 3- a. I CO mi uo a- CL CL CL CL CL i CL ✓ Cj a VV VfcV Cm CL .? V xc.t cl V. CL TA cvesw cl CL a a CM a -a a a a a a Co ✓ W cxc -r a a CL a 3L a u CL a, YY cx sore CL a a Cl cxJ Gxxe'te.V a a Ck a. a ,cd a. S a ✓ £ L CLC. Vy cx a ,c -a Ol a a a Ck -O a CL Cl a ,o a .a Afc'o'Ov Y S a a. a CL , 9 m R ecvur o yoorv Ctiq-reL. - DRILL PICTURES nfi ;— « —n 1—1 Tyy j Y fl i� j 1 1 11 If K ll Co e WK « ' Ut� viTk m d SC . - y caX'tTW ol • X O yi shi!{ 0’ Co vuu. l v 7 - TV.C fciHS It’ll 1� t To toes Hfter ■ «_ r oil! G (1 rn in.l Coll t£ts i lit ’-v- i 4 n Uk • ' C4 1 Fi� cvtoTs vjK� «K 4r f lin mi Wirif , col-o i ’ j l t. t 1 y- • • f X.b r - f f M —k —— U— 1 =1 —V— 1 — • 0112 ci fK Vsr .JIi win, •11 U me Vjll ■f- -f- -f -f- -f- ■ ■ mm Vi'S JTl Pr � i C.W AM L o d C w ’ 'MM tei- Av« a Efc Sin} T i c CVn.nd bdir «rr ifrj'ftrfint. i Ini u.Te Tr«.t - Acr West-cm An We m «rr 'pr B j J gli s s F=£ dU VU � vT«T fee OT Ktr To � i V� « it'd Str-vyJ b r ttf | $or ■ « - MXU t cL d _ Oj 4-U ftc VWrfh ihJ V n� ei j jTill w Tl- if,r � UH T '« w 1 be a.u.Ty . Wl in atYijk jmT fe«r oU ii«iy °� J df r old 6-l‘ V de.t r o «J N St — _ =2=51 3)f rk« lO Th A„J I� njjf’i sT ll o riv ST.J £.'• -l rn Ve4r Qo? ■4e . H G« of J- W ? ■!� OM 3«- - o fiCy- - Ae.'V t e V - - T.. I=£ ii’M V' 1 £ft ifcf-' toUilfo wkt Th _'- o C H 0 f£i'7 m Of 7hJ :To ±5= La Malade Imaginaire. (A French Comedy presented by the French B Class,) Wednesday Evening, March 28. CASTE. Argan—The Imaginary Invalid....................C. B. STEVENSON Beline—The Second Wife of Argan..................Ethel Hancock Angeliquc—Daughter of Argan......................Nelle Marlatt Louison—Little Daughter of Argan........................FRANKIE Craven Beralde—Brother of Argan.........................Earle M. Hale Cleante—Loves Angelique.................................Paul A. WHITE M. Diafoirus—A Doctor............................... Ray White M. Thomas Diafoirus—His son and suitor of Angelique. .GEORGE Magel M. Purgon—Doctor of Argan........................Frank Jenkins M. Fleuranl—Nurse in service of M. Purgon.........LEONARD Dove Toinette—The trusty servant....................Elizabeth Harris Dictionary of Slang. BLUFF, n. (L. bluff ere, to graduate.) An attempt to work by means of a deception. BLUFF, v. t. To make false pretensions to knowledge; as to bluff one’s way through a recitation. “The conscientious Freshmen work To get their lessons tough The Juniors flunk, the Sophomores shirk The Seniors? Oh they bluff.’’—Coleridge. BUM, n. (Persian, bom, to become joyful.) An informal entertainment. CASE, n. (L. casus, an accident, from cadere, to fall) An affair of the affections. Table case, a case in active operation only at meal times Hard CASE, a case in advanced stages. Syn.—Love affair, mash. CUT, v. t. (Phoenician, I(ad, to become too ill to attend chapel) To eliminate as, “There were cries of ‘cut it out’ from the rear.’’—Extract from account of time when chapel ran over 12:30 in Wickard’s “Memories of a Misspent Life.’’ DIG, v. t. (obsolete) See grind. DOG, n. (Hash-House) A supposedly edible combination found on hash house tables at Sunday suppers. EX or EXAM, n. (L. ex, out) A written examination in some study; as “He passed up the ex in Psych.’’—Shakespeare. FLUNK, n (Ger., flitif?, flank, flunk, 1° fail) A failure to perform a required duty; as “This is your fifth flunk this week.’’—Prex, LL. D. FLUNK, V. t. I. To fail in a recitation or examination. II. To willfully dispense with the performance of a required duty; as, to flunk Gym. Syn.—cut, pass up. FRAT, n. (Hebr., frato, a bunch) Me and my chum, you and your chum, us four and no more. GRAF T, n. (Gr. gravisticuli, to borrow a Chemistry note book) Some- thing easy; a means whereby one may reach some end without the expenditure of the usual amount of time, energy, trouble, or money. “The Chautauqua desk is the best graft on the road.’’—W. H. Reynolds. Syn.—Cinch, easy thing, snap. GRAFT, v. t. To get something for nothing. GRIND, v. t. (obsolete) To study without ceasing. GROUCH, n (It., gronvl(, the morning after) I. One who is morose; as “You old grouch!” II. (Idiomatic) Gloom; as, he had a grouch. GROUCH, V. i.‘ To manifest feelings of gloom; a symptom of a hard case. HASHHOUSE, n. Grub hall; eating place; chewing joint. HASH-SLINGER, n. An attendant on a hash-house; as a waiter or cook. HECK, (Gr. Hector) An exclamation. “O mores! O tempora! O heck!”—Cicero. JOINT, n. (unknown) A place; a generic term applied to rooming places, loafing places, eating places, etc. Syn.—Hang-out. JOKE, A pickle. LOBSTER, n. (Mexican, lobsluarcz, to be foolish) A mild term of disapprobation; one who makes something of a fool of himself. Syn.—slob. NIT, adv. (obsolete) Not. QUIZ, n. (A.-S. inquisitive, buttinistic) An oral examination in some particular branch of study. ROOT, v. i. (Gr. yelles, to hip haec-tra-boom) To make a noise like a steam calliope, a brass band, several donkeys, a cannonade, a tornado, and a Fourth of July all at once for the glory of the school; to yell your fool head off. SHARK, n. (Ger. schaurchen, to become interested) One who is very eager in some branch of human endeavor; as, “a shark after Greek.” SLOB, n. (A.—S. lobster, to disadmire) One who is both fat and foolish. SPREAD, n. (Irish, tucl(crc, to feed) I. An unfortuitous combination of unknown quantities. II. An array of eatables arranged without regard to relationship or suitability of time or place; the dyspepsia doctor’s delight. STEADY, n. (Hebr. stidd]), don’t give up the ship, or twenty-three times a week) One who takes the same girl to every lecture, concert, bum, etc. WORK, v. t. (U. S. rvorl(, to do labor) To pull the wool over the eyes of someone; to flim-flam; to exercise a graft; as, to work a prof. Syn.—flim-flam, graft off. YELLOW PERIL, n. (Hash-house) Renovated; a fatty substance found on hash house taales. Humorosities. JUST A GENTLE ROAST. Yockey (at the dinner table)—“I worked on a threshing machine one summer.” Neighbor—“Were you straw boss?” Tennant—“I guess he did the puffing for the engine.” HARD LUCK. Sophomore (looking at his grade sheet)—“Seventy-nine—too low for extra hours. Reckon I’ll have to cut out Sunday Scool and baths.” A COUPLE ON JOHN DUNN. Prof. Martin (in English Plistory)—“Miss Reynolds, you may recite on Edward Seymour.” (As she rises)—“The Lord Protector.” Prof. Martin (on being called upon to ask the blessing at supper) — “Lord, what a supper!” EXPERIENCE OR OBSERVATION? Hamilton (in American Law)—Is an Indian squaw naturalized after being married to a white man?” Bill Reynolds—“Yes, sir” Dr. H.—“Are you sure?” Bill—“Yes, sir; I know from experience.” HE WAS LEARNING. Senior—“One church absence equals two chapel absences.” Freshman—“Then if you go to church once, can you stay away from chapel twice?” PROF. LE ACH’S ANNOUNCEMENTS. Prof. Leach (Announcing Glee Club practice in chapel)—“Just four men came last night. Of these one man came at 5.25 and had important business at 5.35. That left three.” Ditto—I wish to see ladies between four and five, and the gentlemen between five and six at the conservatory. WHAT HAPPENED THE NEXT MORNING? Bailor reads and discusses a Psalm in Bible. Dr. Hamilton—“There’s something about Hell in there. Tell that.” Bailor—“That’s something I know nothing of.” (Bell rings.) Dr. H.—“Well, I’ll give you that tomorrow morning.” How the Coming of Spring Affected Sambo. (As overheard by “Bill” Nyey '06.) Brudder, doan yuh heah dat roostah Crowin’ all de lib-long day? Doan yuh heah dat blue bird wahblin’. An’ de scream ob dat ’ere jay? Doan yuh heah dat mule a-singin’? An’ ouah oY Tige a-chunin’ up His rusty ol bazoo, an’ bahkin! Lak he wuz a yeah-ol’ pup! It’s mighty plain to dis yeah niggah Dat de spring am come foh’ sho’ For de signs am right, by hokey— Le’s get out de ol’ banjo! See dem chickens in de gahden Scratchin’ foh de wums some moah! Golly! Doan my ol’ mouf watah. When I tink ob what’s in stoah! Am dat de ol’ red cow a-bawlin’ Ovah in de pastuah?—Hahk! Way down yondah in de cohnfiel’ Doan yuh heah dat medder lahk? Praise de Lawd! ! de wintah’s ovah! Time to hunt up rake an’ hoe— But befoh we stahts to gawd’nin’ Le’s git out de ol’ banjo! n SEPTEMBER. I 2—Everybody arrives. I 3—Registration, Convocation, Matricula jV. tion. 14—Tragedy at Fair Grounds. 1 5—Cavalry drill. Prex goes to Confer 0 ’ ence. 16—City in mourning for those killed a'. Fair Grounds. 1 7—(Sunday) Prex and Prof. Tilton preach. 1 8—Juniors and Sophs elect officers. Ath- letic Association follows their ex- ample. 19— Freshmen hold their first meeting. John Dunn Martin goes to sleep while Prof. Tilton pours out idears to the Geology class. 20— Milo smokes a stogie. Seniors receive. 2 1 —Milo is in bed. Seniors all flunk. 22— West institutes’ girls’ drill. 23— Geologists go south. 24— (Sunday) Holiness meetings in full swing. 26— Gigantic mass-meeting of students to arouse enthusiasm in debate. 27— Bonus recital. 30—Joseph Clark Read. Geologists investigate limestone. Pi Beta Phi entertains Greeks. Football season opens: Simpson 17; East High 0. O: OCTOBER. 2—Sophs picnic and get scared at ghosts of Juniors. Carnival opens. 4— Bussey recital. 7 Missouri 26, Simpson 0. 9— Sophs bum again. Bumming appears to be their strong- hold. Scientific Assassination. 10 Katherine Ridgeway takes Mrs. Finnegan’s picture. Berry-Sloan in Des Moines. 1 I —Kappa Theta Psi entertains sor- orities. Prof. Leach’s recital. I 2—Hoplites bum. 1 3—So do the musics. It rains. 14—Winterset Geologists advertise Winlerset Nervs. 13—(Sunday) University sermon. I 6—Juniors and Freshmen entertain each other. “Hear it rain!’’ 1 7—Lots doing in sorority circles. Rain, rain, rain. 18— Mock court martial in opera house. Paul White’s dog stars. 19— First day of Fall term week of prayer. 20— Thirty-fourth Regiment reunion. ■U % Beans! | 21—Ames 63, Simpson 0, at Ames. Ames-Simpson in tennis. 22—(Sunday) Special meetings. 23—lack London. 28— Simpson 23, Cornell 4. Night shirt parade. 29— (Sunday) Rev. Homan. At night: Lights off! 31 Pi Beta Phi Hallowe’en. T T v, X NOVEMBER. I—Delta Della Delta brothers. Ki Yi prelim. 2— Junior Play announced for next Tuesday. 3— Big rooters’ meeting. Drake delenda est.” Lots of enthusi-ism. Everett prelim. 4— Drake 73, Simpson 0. Rain. Oh my! 3—Rain. Blue. 6— Still blue. Junior Play postponed again. 7— We come to, and begin to pick ourselves up. Simp banquet. 8— Will the Junior Play ever be given? 1 0—Simpson 30, Central 0. 1 3—Freshman prelim. 14—Moffett makes butter at Scientific. 13—Willits on “Sunshine!” “As a rule, man’s a fool.” 1 7—Sorority initiation. Hall bum. 1 8—Des Moines 1 7, Simpson 0. 19— (Sunday) Sacred concert at Presbyterian church. 20— Class meetings. Junior weddings. 21— Prof. Marsh as Jim Fenton. 22— Last rooters’ meeting of the season. Alpha Tau Omega entertains. 23— Prex flunks prayer meeting to picnic in the woods. 24— Grinnell 75, Simpson 0. Delta house informal. Zetes have last day of school. 25— Junior play begins to advertise once more. 27—Alps entertain Ki Yi’s at dinner. 28— Wickard calls on Shuey at 2 a. m. with hot water plaster and mustard bottle. Bonus-Landsbury Concert. 29— School out. Everybody goes visiting. 30— Church, Turkey, Football. DECEMBER. 1— Della Delta Delta at chapter house. 2— Hundred and seventy-third practice of Junior Play. How will it all come out? 4—Senior costume party. Dress rehearsal of play. __¥ ¥ ¥ ¥ ¥ All star aggregation renders the thrilling comedy “The Profes- sor’s Love Story.’’ Brekke-ke- kex! 8— Home oratorical contest. K.i Yi! 9— Battalion officers inspect the army al Ft. Des Moines. 10—(Sunday) Second University ser- mon by C. L. Nye. I 1—Zete-Alp Debate. Rah Zete! 1 2—Everett-Ki Yi Debate. Everett, you bet, you bet! 1 3—Scientific Dialogues. Bartell and Worth entertain football team. 14—Term ex’s. 1 7—What’s the fare home? 1 8—All gone. v'.L_. 1 rf S (C C.'v t j' UJ JANUARY. 2— Back once more, Christmas presents in our grips and New Year’s resolutions in our pockets. 3— Jimmie O’May tells a story on Prex. 4— What was that noise in chapel? Oh, just Bean back again. 6— Christian Association receive. 7— (Sunday) New men homesick. 8— First noon chapel. Beginning of Era of Small Faculty Attendance. 9— Delta Delta Delta entertains in honor of Miss Fitch. 10—Term reception. Juniors celebrate a Time after- wards. 1 1—Sleighin’s fine. 1 2—Everetts get after the Mormons. Table No. 12 arrives at Milo in bob-sled—come to see “home talent’’ play Started home. 13— Table No. 12 arrived in Indianola at 4 a. m. this morning. 14— (Sunday) Guy Sarvius at Y. M. 1 6—Six minute chapel. Prof. Read holds the record. 1 7—Lots of bob rides. Zetalethean garden party. Apple trees in bloom. Faculty promulgates blue-seal diploma idea. 20—Basketball season opens. 21 — (Sunday) Week of prayer begins. Homan. 23—Day of prayer. Mrs. Vanard. 26— Pan-Hellenic in Des Moines. 27— Simpson Freshmen hit the labor unions a blow in Des Moines, but the unions strike back. 28— (Sunday) Mrs. Vanard at church. 29— First meeting of missionary committee in south- west corner of chapel. 30— Indianola votes for inter-urban. 0 31— Freshmen lose to Sophs and Preps in basketball. Our vet ' FEBRUARY. 1— Peer visits his alma mater. 2— Missionary committee nolds an- other post-chapel session. 3— Sophs win over Preps and Jun- iors in basketball. 3—Bertha Kuntz Baker. 6— Scientif. 7— Grinnell defeats Simpson in basketball. Soph High Jinks in old house. 8— 1 he boys Glee Club will meet at five o’clock. But not many turned up. Seniors take advantage of the eclipse of the moon. 9— I should like to ask the Nash- ville delegates to meet in the southeast corner of the chapel. I 0—Indoor track meet. I 1 — (Sunday) Miss Hinshaw at Y. W. I 2—Senator Berry on Lincoln. Anna May Swan entertains Kappas. 13—Lieut. West on the Philippines. I 4—Delta Delta Delta receives. So do the Hall girls. Alpian Exhibition. I 3—A meeting of the general mis- sionary committee is called after chapel. I 6—Juniors try skating rink, Lem’s, and Maccabee Hall. High old town. Preps lose debate. 1 7—DeMotte. Y 18—Evangelistic meetings begin. C. F. Barrett. 19— D. L. Colvin hits whiskey a solar plexus. 20— Missionary committee makes positively its last appearance. 23— Founders’ and Benefactors’ Day. Lots doing. Senior girls and Sophomore boys win trophies. Pi Phi’s receive. State Oratorical Contest. 24— Senior Basketballists celebrate at Lem’s. Mrs. Tucker entertains. 26—Nashville delegates off. Mis- sionary committee take- a vacation. 28—Oration season opens. Dinners cold. Prex back again. MARCH. V '5 1—More orations. Noon chapel grows unpopular. 3— Ki Yi’s roast the Senate. 4— “Highways to Hell for men only.” 7—“That groundhog is shuah froze to death.” 9—Literary societies and C. A.’s elect officers. Big meeting at the church. 10—Fintel goes to sleep at Ki Yi’s. 1 I — (Sunday) Josiah Kirkwood Craig preaches in Knoxville. 12— Herb White goes after the Indianola post office in chapel. 14—Tilton Club. 13— Nashville echoes at prayer meeting. All aboard for Des Moines. The Solons visited. 1 6—Simpson 44, Highland Park 20. 1 7—St. Patrick’s Day. 18— Barrett meeting closed with suc- cess. 19— Term ex’s on once more. 20— “Are you going home for vaca- tion?” 21— Winter Term closes. Prohibition Contest. Humorosities. WHARF OF THE RIVER STYX. I HEREBY PLEDGE MYSELF that throughout the eternity I shall spend across the Styx (or any future eternity) I will cheerfully abide by the regula- tions of those ruling there; That I will entirely refrain from all church and chapel attendance; That I will refrain from all smoking and dancing except that which I may be compelled to do upon the griddles of Mephisto; That I will refrain from playing Somerset and Collegiate; That I will take no part in, nor give any encouragement to, unauthorized contests of disorderly ghosts, or conduct provoking such. Under this head may be mentioned: (a) Interrupting or in any way interfering with Charon’s yachting parties. (b) Subjecting any ghost to injurious or humiliating violence. (c) The displaying of colors on furnace doors. I further pledge myself that if requested by the proper official I will communicate to him any knowledge I may have of violation of Plutonic laws. I clearly understand that when I am once across the Styx I will never be allowed to leave, either on account of sickness, imperative home duties, or for any other reason not hereinbefore set down. (Signed in duplicate) Date—Year One of Eternity. MUST HAVE TAKEN THE ROCK ISLAND. Miss Moffett (in English History on Peasant Uprising)—“They started on the 10th, and by the 19th had got as far as Somerset.” TRANSLATIONS. Dusenbery in Livy-—“The Calvary having been called to a convocation. Harris in Livy—“The wolf evaded all, intact.” Shipman in Plautus—“If I were permitted, I would dig my eyes out for dinner today.” Anonymous—“Her whole face was filled with tears.” There was a young fellow named Crann A line that describes him won’t scann When he walked beside Lois He surely was slow as A snail in the sea of Japann. There once was a man named Prof. Read Who essayed the baby to feed The baby had croup And his pa fed him soup But young Joe said “That ain’t what I need.” There once was a man named Prof. Marsh A censor so awfully harsh I he Zenith staff fears in spite of its tears He’ll cut out these limericks, by garsh! There was a young Prohib called Bean Who wears an old sweater of green With his hand in his pocket He will stand there and talk it 1 ill the hand of the clock points to thirteen. _______ i u vtofcu y. r 4PH ft -r T3L°VV HoTfiv' T=o © 3 R GfoPft T7 Nft£ BOOKS a BOOKS a BOOKS ►“PALACE BOOK STORE _______________.___ flOX ■• ILU«S College Text Public School “Copyright Fancy Gift BOOKS !► POST CARDS” AND Es® “SIMPSON NOVELTIES I™1 “Athletic Outfitters IfhT MUSICAL GOODS and Supplies. 6ma£ NEWS DEPOT. U. S. EXPRESS ■PALACE BOOK STORE. North Side - - - Indianola Iowa. •Mruh£ I Alpha Floral Co. 621 Walnut St. Des Moines, Iowa. MOST METROPOLITAN FLOWER STORE OF 7 H MIDDLE WEST. 0000 Large Stock of all Seasonable Fresh Cut Flowers. Social, ?e= cital and Graduation Require= ments receive our special attention. Reasonable prices. Orders filled promptly. 0000 IOWA AND MUTUAL LONG DISTANCE TELEPHONES. PALACE BOOK STORE, AGENTS, INDIANOLA. John L. Powers One-price-Cash CLOTHIER Indianola, - - Iowa. o' Once TJ7 Always WOYYl FENNER SON Grocers The Best Place to Trade Our Goods are Right Our Prices are Right The Walk Over Shoe We handle only the best goods and are never under sold. Come in and see us whether you buy or not. Sold by C. M. TRIMBLE Indianola, Iowa FENNER SON Indianola, Iowa. Excelsior Meat Market North Side Square A. Schimelfenig, Prop. Finest, Neatest Cleanest Market In Central Iowa We are Headquarters for all Sporting Goods A complete line of Base Ball, Golf, Tennis, Archery Etc., in stock at all times. Special discounts to students and teams . . Write for our new Catalogue : : : : : : : : : : : Hopkins Bros. Co. Des Moines, Iowa 618-620 Locust St Riggs fe? Osborn Dealers in Dry Goods Notions Groceries and Gents Furnishings Agents for McCall Patterns INDIANOLA, IOWA Slocum s Up-to-date Drug St ore The students' favorite resort for Fine Drinks, Ice Cream Sodas. In Athletic Supplies we can fur- nish anything on the market. No dealer in the city understands athletic supplies as does the pro- prietor of this store. Give me your orders. I'll do the rest Huyler s and Purity Chocolates and Bonbons South Side Square If you really need SPECTACLES Why not wear them? Very few people have perfect eyes—Espec- ially is this true of students. So if you need glasses he sure you get them perfectly adjusted. The science of optics is an almost exact one and there is no reason why you should not he perfectly fitted. You will he if you come to Butler Miller. Their optician, Mr. Butler, is a graduate of two schools and has an experience of twenty- five years, and the price is not only reasonable hut you are guaranteed perfect service. East Side Jewelry and Book Store F. S. BURBE, Clothier EAST SIDE SQUARE. CLEANLINESS Is Our Motto. When you want a clean bite always bear in mind that the place to get it is at £ f £ £ £ J. H. Peterman's Prop. Farmers Grocery South Side Square. The Florsheim Shoe For the Man who cares at Warthen Shoe Co. East Side □ Where shall I huy my hooks? Where shall I get my supplies? Where huy athletic goods and novelties? Let us answer for you. THE COLLEGE BOOK STORE Carries a Full Line of College Goods Books, New and Second Hand. Stationery, Athletic Goods, Pennants and Pins. STUDENT HEADQUARTERS S. E. Corner Campus. Run by Students. Kind Remembrance Loving friends can have no better testimonial of your friendship than a photo- graph of yourself taken and finished as only we can do it. ((The Pose, the Finish, the Mounting, all harmon- ize to make them truly Gems of Art. ((No better time than now to arrange for a sitting. “We guarantee to please. CAPITAL CITY STUDIO 417 Walnut Street DES MOINES, IOWA SAM CHESHIRE — Dealer in— Clothing and Furnishings SAM CHESHIRE N. W. Cor. □ INDIANOLA, - IOWA. THERES A DIFFERENCE IN STAPLE GROCERIES Did you ever notice it? Have you ever realized it? Our lines of staple groceries are as GOOD, CHOICE and FRESH as money can huy. We carry fancy groceries that are FANCY. The Best line of Chocolates and Bon Bons m Town. WATSON BROS. John F. Schee, Pres. Lewis Schcc, Vice-Prcs. W. G. Stanley, Cashier The Ind lanola Bank mg Co. Responsibility to depositors over $400,000.00 PARTNERS Nathan Schcc Samuel Shaw Lewis Schcc James Schcc John F. Schcc W. G. Stanley C. C. Reynolds Co. Hardware and Stoves Cutlery, Farm Implements and Buggies bi'ocT Indianola Staple and Fancy Groceries Queensware, Kitch en Furniture, Fruits and V egetables in season J. W. POLLOCK N. E. Cor. Square FOlTSftLE BY DRUGGISTS B. W. HOSTED, - - - North Side Square MPc- Headache in 5to2°wI[L W. B. SPRAY —Dealer in — Watches, Clocks and Jewelry Repairing a Specialty First Door North of Post Office. Indianola, - Iowa. We are ONLY FIRM m Warren County selling The STEIN BLOCK CO., and HART SCHAFFNER MARX celebrated Tailor Made CLOTHING Every Suit Warranted Also Sole Agents for the HAWES HAT R. L. BEST CO. DAINTY, FRESH, CLEAN EATING STUFF You Remember All the GOOD THINGS you have had to eat at our place on the Avenue don t you? T Well, we are better prepared than ever to give you full value for your money. You can buy meal tickets of us good for $3.00 for $2.50. YOU KNOW we have the neatest, cleanest Dining Room in the city, and here is the one place where you get QUALITY EATING. SWARTSI.ANDERS AVENUE Wortk Savings Bank CAPITAL, $20,000,00 SOLICITS YOUR BUSINESS Interest Paid on Deposits W. H. BERRY, President G. A. WORTH, CaTier WHEN YOU WANT JoL Work DONE RIGHT IIJ CALL ON THE HEYWOOD S CHOCOLATES ADVOCATE SOLD BY ALL DEALERS ip TRIBUNE Indianola, Iowa. The Standard of Excellence in Fountain Pens is the Waterman's'Ideal Fountain-Pen This Fountain Pen is conceded not only the best but the most reliable writing-tool of today. It excels in quality of material used, in perfection of workmanship and in simplicity of construction. The Ideal Clip-Cap. an exclusive feature, is a neat, permanent ornament, positively prevent- ing your fountain pen from falling out of the pocket. Our pens furnished with every known degree of pen-nib and to suit all styles of writing; fully guaranteed, exchanges allowed. Sold by all Reliable Dealers L. E. WATERMAN, 173 BROADWAY, N. Y. Chicago, San Francisco, Boston, Montreal Elliott Hotel Des Moines, Iowa A New. Modern and Strictly First Class European Hotel All Modern Conveniences. Every room in the |hotel has Hot and Cold Running Water, Telephone, Steam Heat, Electric Lights, Modern Passenger Elevator. Cafe in connection. Simpson College students and Indianola citizens always welcome. Rates 75c to $1.50 With Private Bath 507-9 LOCUST 5T------ DE5MOINES- IOWA This Annual was arranged, printed, hound and delivered on time hy cTh GEO. A. MILLER PTG. GO. We make a special- ty of Cl ass Year Books and College Printing. OUR GRIST OF ANNUALS THIS SEASON Quax Nugget Orange and Black Zenith Oracle Tatler Bomh Fourth Floor New Car- ver Building'. Des Moines, Iowa Fake Elevator