Sidwell Friends School - Philos Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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VOL XZOO GYM RESTORED The Srdwell Frrends School Qvm found rn a state of drs rntegratron rs berng reburlt bv the Rockenrollerfeller Foundatron Thrs gym a landmark of colonral Wash rngton rs the oldest gym strll rn exrstence An old man found lrvrng rn one of the crumblrng locker rooms told the renovators that the gym would be torn down and a new one burlt rn rts place Luckrly for the preservatron of the hrstorrc flavor of Washrngton thrs was never more than a rumor Ceorge Washrngton when he found rt rrnpo srble to make the long trrp from Washrngton to Mount Vernon would get relaxatron by drrbblrng a basketball rn thrs gym lt rs a quarnt rumor that Martha would watch hrm for hours as she sat on the horse F B I DIRECTOR ICKES RECEIVES PRESIDENT S PRAISE Harold M Icltcs Drrector of the Federal Bureau of In vestrgatron has recerved prarse from Prcsrdcrrt Gas Arrrs for outstandrng work rn hr capturrng of three ruth less fugrtrves rn the famous Shenandoah Mts I rll fApple Jackj Mcfjozrfrrr was appre hended as he was loadrng a shrpment of apple Jack for shrpment to Mrss Marrrr rs school McGovern stated that thrs was only a small grft to Mrss Mann He added that Mrss Mann knew nothrng of the shrpment Mr Rob crf Hooper author of the Trme Current Events Tests was apprehended two days after McGoverns strll was rarded Two hrgh school teachers have srgned formal complarnts agarnst Mr Hoop er denouncrng hrs exorbrtant prrces M Hooper when asked about the charge placed agarnst hrm replred bodys gotta make a lrvrn dont he'l Yesterday a spy rrng was uncovered rn Washrngton D C The rrng headed by Mzss Errrrly Arrrlc Forsythe was organrzed to reveal the date on whrch the constructron of the proposed Srdwell Frrends gym wrll brgrn Fortunately Mrss For svthe was unable to pry loosr L les most close X guarded secrct Whrlc tracl rng down Mrss For svthe Mr Ickes s agents un covered a unrque srtuatron 'Vlrss Tcrrrl Kzrrzrrrcl rs the secret presrdent of the NA ACP and also the Crand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan Nerther the Klan nor the IN AACP knew of hcr dual role When asked about her dubrous posrtron as a dual leader she replred Thanks to Mr Ickes my posrtrons rn both the N AA C P and the Klan are rn Jeopardy I would lrke very much to con trnue to be actrve rn an or ganrzatron and therefore I am serrously consrderrng the D A R ' TEXAS ATTEMPTS TO SECEDE GASKINS CALLS SPECIAL SESSION OF CONGRESS The Unrted States was rn a state of turmorl tonrsrht as Presrdent Caskrrls called Jornt scssron of Congress to demand permrssron to squash the rebellron Apparently Drc tator Mallory rs trred of rn sults and derogatory remarks concernrng hrs beloved home Texas The rebellron started rn earnest wrth a land attack by Gcrrcral Marrly Parks Parks started hrs mrlrtary career at Srdwell Frrends where mrlrtary drscrplrne was harshly rnflrctedl He has now reached the peak of hrs career by performrng an amazrng feat From the land he was able to detect sounds of the Southern enemy at sea Thrs ,pa trcular sea attack was under the drrectron of Ad rrrrral Joe Monroe who also serves as the foghorn COUNTESS RETURNS TO U S ON IMPORTANT MISSION Countess Josephmes prr vate plane landed at La Guardra freld today In order to defend her posrtron as presrdent of the Soul Search ers Socrety the former Mrss Iachrrrarr has returned to the Unrted States her natrve home The Unrted States how cver rs not qurte natrve nough for the Countess as she has recently moved to a medreval Englrsh castle wrth 110 rooms When the Count ess rs not skrpprng wrth her brood among the heather she rndubrtably can be found rn her plush soundproof bath room The Soul Searchers Socrety was founded ten years ago by Mr J E Forsythe I the meantrnre Countess Jose phrne has taken over M Rrchard Roberts now runnrng a saloon rn Ne vada rs also presrdent of the A A In thrs way he com brnes busrness wrth pleasure Hrs pleasure comes rn search rng the souls of the members of the A A but hrs busrness talent comes rn persuadrng them to Jorn' Mr Robert True Crosrrrarr has also contrrbuted greatly to the Soul Searchers So crety He has successfully searched the souls of thous ands through hrs book Dont Inf Your Hands Over Your Fars Irrr Gorrrg to alk About Frcc Loo: He can also be seen on soapbox 23 rn Greenwrch Vrllage preach mg and searchrng at the same trme GOLD NUGGET IN TURMOIL MANAGER KAUFMANN BAFFLED Because of the publrcatron of the new book Hopkrrrs Srrpplcrmrrt to Gorerz pat rons of thrs noted casrno de manded brrdge R D Kauf rrrarzrr manager of the Nug ge admrts he has no facrlrtres to meet these de mands but assures hrs wor rred customers that he wrll procure the necessary equrp ment Thrs rs the second turmorl wrthrn srx weeks at the Gold Nugget The first arose when J D Master nraster of hearts arrrved at the casrno to rntroduce hrs game to Kaufmann s patrons I 96 7 BOSTON BANS soon Masayo Yorrrarrrofo wrfe of our ambassador from Japan has publrshed Frrerrdly Fr ascs a drctronary of terms whrch she learned whrle lrv rng rn thrs country Thrs book was well recerved rn the Washrngton area but was banned rn the noble crty of Boston There are rumors however that several copres have found therr way rnto the crty where they are berng read and studred by Harvard Socrology students wrth rel rs CATTLE TYCOON LASSOES NIGHT CLUB DANCER Dave Wrckcrrs of the Bar Rarl Ranch rn South Dakota got hrmself a brrde today at a bus stop near Wrnolosey Arkansas The brrde per formed on the nrght club crr curt untrl lassoed today and dragged to the Wrnolosey Crty Hall Mr Wrckens berng so very promrnent our luscrous re porter Meg Lesser was sent to get the story fMrss Lesser has recently returned from Cambodra where she wrote a serres of artrcles on Colonel Sorroadh Norrg the Drctator wrth the Cutest Legs J When Meg approached Mr Wrckens she rnqurred The publrc rs rnterested to know why you should grve up las soerng steers and become tred to a nrght club dancer'l May I have an explanatron for thrs unprecedented actron'7 Mr Wrckens stared strarght ahead He looked at her cracked a knuckle as well as a farnt smrle and re plred Come here wench' POSNER PATENTS POTTERY Mrss Lrz Posrrcr has re cently bought out Trffanys and rs now gurldrng all her old Jewelry and convertrng the obgects rnto lawn orna ments One of the most unrque of her artrcles rs a parr of ear rrngs now made rnto deck charrs . , I I ' ' ' v ' 1 . 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195 5 195 7 Masaya Yamamoto You came to us in the jun- ior year, so few of us have gotten to know you as well as we would have liked. Your quiet cheerfulness has brought many of us out of gloomy mo- ments you seem to take every thing in your stride from homework to modeling in the fashion show These two quali ties of quiet cheerfulness and perserverence will stand you well whatever you do Good luck to you Masayo in realiz ing your ambitious hopes and thank you for giving us a deeper understanding and ap preciation of your people and country Social Service Comm 4 Quai te11y Club 4 Volley Ball 4 .113 1.000 Masayo . . . tranquility . . . Japan and Japanese translations . . . writq ing . . . her poetry . . . art work . . . her Jerp-Frank Lloyd Wright . . . Hi 1 . . . her dictionary . . . volleyball . . . trips to North Caro- lina. Far Away Places 315. 1' 'ri ka U-Q-4. kJ? -hi x Fil. it Selma kwin? f5i+'f.1E'a 1954 1957 WIIIIUIIZ Dciercux Zan! Illgfl' If you got honor you got it if you don t got it you dont want it This typical quote IS from you Bill our proml nent humorist of the class of 57 With your unique South ern drawl vour aversion to paying dues and vour profit able hobby of hog raising no one could possibly mistake your identity No matter how sad anyone is you always manage to get him laughing in no time This good humor is one reason for your quick popularity here No matter what ol college you attend, we re sure that high class edu cation wont spoil the unusual gifts of Sidwell s exclusive playboy Current Events Club 2 3 4 Latin Club 2 Science Club 3 Lunch Room Comm 4 Soccer 4 Trac 1 lunchroom announcements ftrtnslation pleisej p ly oy The Hunt Club Upper Marlboro M J P Southern drawl member ol the non dues payers club What Dld He Say? j.N gqkxb' vig WW xr X 'TXY 'L Elia Q STI? W' 555 Wh -aff '21 J Ji s fi-dis .LSI Wgi

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PUBLISHED 8 TIMES WEEKLY Sclence In Review Men And Microbes by HY GEVE Telev1s1on aud1ences were t1eated last mght to the p1e n11e1e of a new show M9dlC 1na sponso1ed by the A M A Th1s show IS pro duced dlrected and operated by the doctols Schua1tz1nan and Doclelt Dr Dodek was a as she swept 1nto the oper atmg 100111 1n a full length g1own by Datzs of whlte sat1n emb1o1de1ed w1th red CIOSSCS She smlled bllefly at the T V audlence then tu1n ed to pull on he1 1ed xubber gloves sp11nkled w1th 1h1ne stones D Schwa1tzman walked placldly 1n grmned and waved h1s scalpel at the o1chest1a wh1ch began play 1ng the Appendectomy lVlam b The opelatlon was per f01ll'l9d on an East Samoan natlve successfully D Schwa1tzman s 1 e aso n f01 telev1s1ng h1s show fzom hast Samoa whe1e there are no append1c1t1s cases was hvelyone whethel he has an append1c1t1s Ol not IS en tlled to an appendectomy thats democ1acy Mrs H11 am Pennypacker the n1othe1 of ten ch1ld1en and the formc1 M1ss Bonnze Mc B1zde has announced lNew Yeaz s Eve as the date of the Mothcl s Ma1Ch on Mono nucleos1s 'Vlothe1s w1ll pat1ol the Stl66tS lookmg for V10 1ato1s of the1r motto Klss 1ng IS Immoral Offenders w1ll be fined fifty dollars wh1ch w1ll go to a1d Dr B117 ton Mye1s Dr Myels IS sea1ch1ng for a S61 um to cure the MOHOHUCl60SlS of M1ss Bebe Cla1k FIOHT the wllds of Wash1ngton has emuged an amazlng person allty M1ss Joanne Radue has been able to Ieplace UNI VAC at Radue Inst1tute of Technology QR I TJ She lS culrently work1ng wlth the noted M1 Tom Marshall whose hobby IS the tabulat 1ng of filter traps MISSIONARY SERIOUSLY BITTEN NOTED ENGI NEER TO THE RESCUE Tll lllJl.lClxtUO The well lowed llllSSl0Il211V Betsy Holmes has been conve1t1ng heathen cassowaues fOl the past five WQHIS last week howeve1 one cassowa1y had the gall to d1ffe1 YYltl'l NIISS Holmes on he1 1nte1p1etat1on of thc sto1y of Noahs A1k He 1n slsted lt was not a dove who dese1ved he honols but a cassowa1,f He became 1n d1gnant at MISS Holmes 1gnorance and plomptly b1t he1 M1 E1tu11zc11 hearlng a d1st1ess s1gnal 1mmed1ate1y bullt a g1ant expans1on b11dge and rushed to the 1es cue Th1s actlon reHects h1s talent as an engmeer h1s leputatlon as a gallante and hlS aVld adhe1ence to the phllosophy of J1m Dandy CRO WD WITNESSES SECOND SEIGE Yestelday a throng of spectato1s saw a sto1m1ng of the Bastllle M1 Petco Hoov Cl has spent the last fou1 years maklng an 1nt11cate model of the Bastllle The completed model was thlee 1nches hlgh It seems just as Hoove1 was puttlng the fmal cha1n on the last p11sone1 s a1m he was SClZ9d w1th a passlon for f1eedom and con ducted a personal Selge of h1s own on the three 1nch model FASHIONS IN THE NEWS Renowned model Elame Marloue has left her Job NV1l',l1 Elghteen magaz1ne She IS planmng a Back to Natule movement and feels that It IS r1d1culous to 1n fluence people to buy clothes Mzss Dzane Davzs newest find 1n fash1on des1gn1ng presented her Fall Fash1ons at a small show last mght M1ss Dav1s determlned to outdo D1or has paralleled h1s A l1ne fash1ons Wlth her fabulous M l1ne dresses and her gentle U l1ne neck lmes Lolols too seem to be ca11y1ng out th1s llteral tone P gleen Yne gold and C re ENTERTAINMENT NOTES MQLIO SllVQl lYl2.l6 s latest 1elease The Gcmge Lady Sto1y lS due to open w1th1n the week Th1s f1lm tells the l1fe sto1y of that noted plamst and band leader Hlgh spots 1n the plctule ale h1s 11st to fame as leade1 of the Downbeats h1s memor able band concert at the Bayou and the subsequent demand f1OIll the Gold 'Slug get fol h1s band Sta1 11ng1n the StO1y IS that matl nee ldfll of m1ll1ons A Skzp Weldon M S M had some d1fTiculty gettlng Weldon who was Just flmshlng Ogle and Boys and fJl1lS fOl Th11t1eth Century VVolf Among the songs wh1ch ale featuled 1n the film lS a new one Porter Stleet Blues wh1ch L1ttle Suszr S5 OO ILIIIHIICIS noted song,st1ess wnote espccmllv for the show The SlCl9llL1!IlS Klng of Blueglass Dzclt Stone 11ved last n1ght wlth h1s tll0 f0l a two week stay at the Admual C 1111 D1ck h1st be came famous when a talent scout OVGlh93ld h1m playlng 'VIounta1n Dew at a SGHIOI class palty ATTENTION STAR LOVERS D1 Vngmza Westphal and D1 Rzchanl Stemhmdt have Just announced a new formu la fo1 countmg the stals It states that one should l1e on hlS back start countlng at the left 1n the sky proceed to the m1ddle and mult1ply by two Dr Ste1nhardt lS busy mak1ng a map of the solar system wh1ch w1ll ln clude all sta1s even those not yet dlSCOV918d To make the map he has one la1ge sheet of blank paper wh1ch he lS coveung w1th pencll dots Hl J ETEHSUH FOR SALE ADS BRING QUICK nesuns If X A11 Ill I U X v---'Q 442251: MRS ZELDA ZORCHKIN WRITES I SOLD MY OLD WORN OUT DOUBLE UN DERHANDED BI POLAR DORFUS ONE HOUR AFTER MY M J P AD APPEARED CALL M. 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