Sheridan High School - Bronc Yearbook (Sheridan, WY)

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16 THE OCKSHEPER1DA Pass for College Graduates. By cutting out the word “ain’t” occasionally and steering clear of words they don’t know how to pronounce, many a man passes for a college graduate who never got out of the grammar room.—Topeka Journal Real Blue Blood. An Irish contractor had the misfortune to run his car over an old man who had a bottle of bluing inside his coat. Jumping from his car and seeing the fluid rapidly staining the old fellow’s breast, lie cried to his friend: “Finnegan, it’ll go harrud wid us! We’ve killed wan o' thim blue-blooded Yankees!” Too Greedy. Of troubles connubial, .jars and divorce, This, we believe, is the fruitless source— A man falls in love with a dimple or curl, Then foolishly marries the entire girl. Why He Didn’t. “Why don’t you give your wife an allowance?” “I did once, and she spent it before I could borrow it back.”—Washington Herald. A Bachelor’s Philosophy. Sillicus—Do you believe in long engagements? Cvnicus—Sure! The longer a man is engaged the less time he has to be married.—Philadelphia Record. Come On In; the Fire’s Fine. Church announcement in an exchange reads as follows : “Next Sunday, ‘Hell; Tts State and Duration.’ You are welcome.—Detroit News. Didn’t Wait foy It. Waggles—Did yer ask de woman at de last house for a bite? Raggles—Yes; but she said der dog did all de bit in' fer de family, an’ w’en she started to untie him I heat it.”—Judge. Reckless. “He is always ready with a long-winded Fourth of July oration.” “It's just like him! First he warns his little boys about the dangers of the day. and then lie goes and shoots off his mouth.” Right in His Line. Mistress Why, Norah. what are you doing on that policeman’s knee? Norah—Sure,' mum, he’s a restin’ me!”—London Tit-Bits. More Than Usual. “Do you think he’ll leave any footprints on the sands of time?” “He ought to leave a good many. He's always side-stepping.”—Kansas City Journal. Well Named. “Why do you call this new tire of yours the Mexican?” asked Slathers, “Is it made of Mexican rubber?” “Oh, no!” said the inventor. “T call it that because it is callable of innumerable revolutions without wearing out.”—Judge. Tommy at Dinner. Tommy went out to dine at a friend’s house one evening. When the soup was brought Tommy did not touch his, and the hostess, looking over, said: “Why. Tommy, dear, what’s the matter? Aren’t you hungry tonight?” “Yes,” replied Tommy, “I’m quite hungry, but I’m not thirsty.” Sufferer—I have a terrible toothache. and want something to cure it. Friend—Now, you don’t need any medicine. I had a toothache, and went home, and my loving wife kissed and so consoled me that the pain soon passed away. Why don’t you try the same?

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THE OGKSHEPER1DA 15 4 4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4 4»4.4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4»4.4. 4.4. 4 4, + 4, + + ,l, + 4, + + 'fr + 4. 4. fr t Jokes I ♦ + By Hazel Helvey. 4. ♦ + 4.4 + 4 + + + + 4 + 444 + 4+4 4 44+'J 444 + + + + + + + + + + + + Kind Lady (to pauper)—Now here is a penny. What are you going to do with it! Beggar—Well, madam, I’ll have to consult the directors of the Copper Trust first. It wouldn’t do to dump all this metal cn the market without warning. Here’s to the Freshman, who knows not and knows not that he knows not, pity him. Here’s to the Sophomore, who knows not, but knows that he knows not, shun him. Here’s to the Junior, who knows hut knows not that he knows, help him. Here’s to the Senior, who knows and knows that he knows; he is perfect, follow him. A mother’s attention was called by the cat’s cries. Mother—Johnny, quit pulling that cat’s tail, you are making it cry! Johnny—I’m not pulling his tail. The cat’s doing the pulling. Teacher (to class)—Why is the cat taken to experiment on, by watching the food digest through an X-rav. when the eat sleeps after it has eaten? Scholar—T don’t know, unless it is because the eat has nine lives. A Martial Question. “Who gets the custody of the automobile?” “I told my wife she might have it. I can’t keep up the machine and pay alimony, too.”—Louisville Courier-Journal. What’s in a Name. Judge Alton B. Parker, democratic candidate for president in 1904, is said to tell us a favorite story the tale of a young man in Savannah named Du Bose, who invited his sweetheart to take a buggy ride with him. The young woman had a very fetching lisp. When they reached a rather lonesome bit of road the young man announced: “This is where you have to pay toll. The toll is either a kiss or a squeeze.” “Oh, Mr. l)u Both!” exclaimed his companion.—Human Life. Her Theory. “Agnes,” said the mistress one morning to the cook, “how was it I saw you entertaining a policeman at supper last night?” “I dunno,” replied the girl, unless you was peepin’ through the keyhole, mum. ” The Pessimistic Lover. As they halted in front of the florist's she cried: “Oh, the blush on that beautiful rose!” “It is blushing,” her pessimistic lover replied, “at the price, I suppose.” Didn’t Hurt Much. “Hear the latest news?” asked the boy with the bandaged eye. “Naw,” replied the kid with the burned fingers. “Pa was blown up last night for talking back to ma.”—Judge.

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THE OCKSHEPER1DA 17 Sufferer—I think I will. Is your wife at home now? The students of an eastern college grew so reckless in their behavior that the professor thought to improve their conduct by a lecture on morality. In the course of his lecture he said: “My young friends, the floors of hell are paved with champagne and automobiles and chorus girls.”. lie was horrified to hear one of the students say in a sepulchral tone: “Oh Death, where is thy sting?” “Oh, yes.” Mrs. Smith told us. “my husband is an enthusiastic archaeologist. And I never knew it till yesterday. I found in his desk some queer looking tickets with the inscription, ‘Mudhorse, 8 to 1.’ And when I asked him what they were, he explained to me that they were relics of a lost race. Isn’t it interesting?” Little .Tames had been imparting to the minister the important and cheerful information that his father had got a new set of false teeth. “Indeed. .lames?” replied the minister, indulgently. “And what will lie do with the old set?” “Oh. 1 s’pose,” replied little James, “they’ll cut ’em down and make me wear ’em.” “[.ike lettuce. Pat?” “No, Oi don’t. An’ Oi’m glad Oi don’t, for if Oi loiked it. Oi’d ate it. an’ 1 hate the doomed stuff.” Irritable Man (at the other end of phone line)—Hello, hello! What's the matter with you? Are you forty- seven ? Angry Spinster (at this end)—No; I’m not. AYho said T was? I’m only thirty-three. Irritable Man — Oh. ring off!— Cleveland Plain Dealer. Little drops of water Poured into the milk Makes the farmer’s daughter Lovely gowns of silk. At the Polo Game. She I shall never marry a man who can’t play polo. He—Very well, I’ll learn to ride. Hut suppose 1 break my neck? She—Oh. there are always survivors. Visitor—Do you support your school paper? Student—No. of course not. It has a staff. That must be the idea of most all in school. “Generally speaking the girls are—” Oh. yes. they are—” “Are what?” “Generally speaking.”—Ex. Question—What is a River System ? Answer—A River System is a river with all its brains. A little girl was having her first ride on a big steamboat crossing the Atlantic. The captain was explaining numerous things to her. among them his telescope. “Now. what would you like to see through it?” he asked pleasantly. “I’d like to see the equator.” The captain pulled a hair out of his head, and holding it before the telescope, bade the little girl to look. “Do you see it?” “O. yes. she said, “and there’s a camel walking across it.’’ I'd rather be a Could He. If 1 could not be an Are: For a Could Re is a May Be. With a chance at reaching par. I’d rather be a Has Been Than a Alight Have Been by far. For a Alight Have Been has never been. But a Has was once an Are.